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Anyway I am adding this RSS to my email and could look out for a lot more
of your respective intriguing content. Make sure you update this again soon. ]]>
Londone – yes! And what the hell’s wrong with flirting, anyway? People enjoy flirting! There’s only a problem when people have different ideas about what it means.
In my late teens/early twenties, things were fairly confusing. I was mad about my close friends, but totally non-sexually. And when I went to uni I regularly ‘fell for’ new friends. I *hated* it when my close friends had relationships – it felt so exclusive, like suddenly all their ‘real’ friends were sidelined. I knew for sure I couldn’t choose one person and drop everyone else I loved.
I really felt that relationships sucked, that it was totally unnatural to restrict yourself to loving one person, and that the world would be much better if we all just had friends who we adored and occasionally had sex with. Except that whenever I did anything sexual with one of my friends, it really did nothing for me at all. Things got pretty confusing for me and for the people I was messing about with, and I came away convinced that poly could never work, but still considering the idea of choosing just one person completely unnatural.
The thing is, I really do feel very passionately about my friends, just not physically. No wonder everything was so confusing. I *was* (and am, really) ‘in love’ with them. But the world assumes that that kind of feeling is inseparable from sexual desire. So my adoration of people is interpreted by others as a desire for a monogamous, sexual relationship, and everyone gets very confused and pretty hurt. And I myself assumed that sex is a natural side-dish for feeling passionately about someone, and so had a lot of crappy encounters where I tried to produce something I wasn’t feeling to match the something I was.
I want a life of asexual promiscuity!
]]>I can only say from what I’ve read on AVEN’s site, and a few snatches of asexuality blogs, but people seem to identify every which way, gay, straight, monogamous, polyamorous, just not sexually. So it seems logical to me that dominant could be added into that mix.
I’m feeling really excited for this, even if it’s not what you’ll feel tomorrow.
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