Sadly they seem to think you can never have too many cats. Like the Lays commercial, you can’t just have one. Thankfully we peaked at “only” 5. Two belong to our newly married daughter, and after watching the house for us they eventually went to their home. The next day while I was in CA with CavSon #1, one had a kitty version of a stroke and was unable to use her legs. Shocking because that morning, before I left, she was jumping up on the bathroom counter as she was prone to do with her front paws slipping on the tile like Fred Flintstone.

Callie came to us from the Whiskers and Wishes cat rescue. CavDaughter volunteered there. That meant fostering kittens, cats, preggo cats and …. too many cats.

One cat they had was from a hoarder home. She was probably about 8 or 9 and they weren’t sure they would be able to re-home her. Our home became her home. At least part of it.

She was a beautiful Calico. They can be fractious. She and our first cat, Phinn, never got alone. Initially there would be some cat fights, followed by Callie reverse sneezing out of stress. Our room became her home.

In the mornings while the other cats were in the kids’ rooms, we’d let her roam the house. CavWife would leave some treats for her by the fridge. She’d usually retreat to our room pretty quickly. If Phinn got in there, and he didn’t start a fight, he’d just stare her down like, “I can get you whenever I want. You are on borrowed time, old girl.”

When Grond aka Gronk (our daughter’s big, curious orange cat reminds of Gronkowski) lived here, he could open doors (ours have levers), which meant that Phinn could get in more often. Gronk broke in to get at her food. He was always hungry. This meant installing child protection devices on our doors. Especially the door to the primary bedroom where she lived.

When we traveled cross country for my sabbatical we took two vehicles so we didn’t have to worry about Callie and Phinn fighting somewhere on Route 66 or the PA Turnpike. Okay, it wasn’t just that. Imagine trying to fit 6 people, 4 cats and a dog, along with luggage and a litter box in the van. I can’t think of a much worse way to cross the country. It was bad enough the cats limited our lunch options and prevented us from seeing Niagara Falls. I didn’t want to end up in prison if they died from heat exhaustion, and we weren’t carting them to the falls. We were so close, yet so far away.

She Was a Mass of Health Issues

She had health issues from the get go. She was a puker. She’d puke regularly. Sometimes she’d keep puking until there was blood and we administered medication to end the cycle. This made sleep an adventure. I would be awakened at all hours of the night with the sound of her puking. We even bought a water proof blanket to protect the other blankets and sheets from continual washing.

She also had tooth problems. This meant tooth removal. Eventually there were none left. She was our “toothless wonder”. She still ate dry food, preferring it over wet food. We have no idea why.

She had no control over her tail. It had a mind of its own. Callie would put her rear leg on it to keep it from moving.

Not too long ago she was sick with perhaps some respiratory issues. CavDaughter thought this was it. I didn’t see the signs of distress. It took a few days but she started eating again. Then back to jumping on the counters.

Shortly after that she got her rabies shot. We decided this was the last time for that because she was essentially inert for 2-3 days. She barely moved. She had a vaccine reaction (and perhaps her stroke was too).

She Was Particular

For most of her time with us she didn’t like to use the fountain in our room. She much preferred drinking from the shower or one of the sinks in the bathroom. Getting to sleep became difficult. Many a night I was settled in to sleep, about to cross over into la-la land and she’d begin her persistent meow. She wanted water. But from where? Tired I would try to base this on where she was. Did she look like she wanted the shower on? Was she up by the sinks? But often I’d have to go back to run water in the other option.

Occasionally that persistent meow was for food, or some affection. You would work through the options. At other times you were well asleep, dreaming sweet dreams when the meowing would begin. “Get me water, slave!”

She wanted a clean litter box. It needed to be cleaned each evening. And she would promptly use it, like she’d been waiting for you to get your act together that little imaginary princess. If you didn’t get to it (we had a child who was less than consistent and lost their job cleaning the litter boxes), she’d go right outside the box. “Take that!”

Callie didn’t do scratching posts. Didn’t do cat trees. She had nails, just not teeth. She would scratch on the carpet, particularly by our bathroom. We ended up laying a towel there to prevent her from scratching, and to catch at least some puke.

Not My Cat

They would call her my cat. They got me a Cat Dad mug. I’m not sure why aside from the fact that we occupied the same room. She preferred men in general. But … she’d sleep on CavWife at times. She make biscuits on CavWife. There was no indication of particular affection for me unless you consider stepping on my privates affection. I sure don’t.

I only fed her in the middle of the night or early morning. I didn’t give her treats each day. I brought her to the vet once, for the last rabies shot because my daughter abandoned me. They have a funny definition of “my cat.”

Nighttime is the Fun Time

She didn’t just torment us with the meowing for water. Or food. Or affection. She’d get the zoomies at night. This, obviously, meant running over the bed. This meant her running on us. Such fun for us, but a grand time for Callie.

In the summer she’d often sleep above the covers. This often meant we couldn’t snuggle because she’d be between us. Or she would trap me in the center. Not only getting to sleep and staying asleep was a struggle, but moving in your sleep.

At other times she’d burrow under the covers. But if you were in bed she’d just paw at the covers, expecting you to lift them to create a cave for her to enjoy. Are you getting she was a high maintenance cat yet? If not, what’s wrong with you?

Let’s just say that we sleep better now.

A Traveling Cat

It wasn’t just our sabbatical cross-country trip that she enjoyed. Because we didn’t want to “curse” anyone with her, or risk Callie and Phinn going a few rounds without us to intervene, she joined us on our vacations to NY. Our trips to the airport would customarily begin with an episode of puking. After that it was smooth sailing. She like to get out on her leash (to the consternation and condemnation of airline employees at the gate), and she was a star attraction because she was such a pretty calico.

At the Farm, there were times she would have the run of the house. A BIG house. It was like heaven for her. She could burrow in our bed, hang out in the girls’ room or in the windowsill of the living room. Her movements were hindered by her “cousins” Oscar and Tilly. Oscar is a hefty, deaf cat. He’s sweet, but Callie was not well socialized with other cats in the hoarder house. Tilly and Oscar would both try to get into our room since she was a picker and they were ravenous. And of course they had to make her life difficult by using her litter box. HER litter box. But it was a great vacation for her, unless (Mad) Max was there too. Our dog basically ignores Callie. Max can’t. It scares her. So she’d again be confined to our spacious room. This meant Callie would try to scratch (and often succeed) on the furniture. Please, don’t tell my mother-in-law.

In light of this, I decided to pull The Pastor as Counselor: The Call of Soul Care by David Powlison out of my “To Read” queue and bring it on vacation to the frozen woodlands of the Adirondacks. I’m still not sure what I was expecting out of this short book. I have respect for Powlison and have read most of his books. Maybe I was hoping this would clarify things for me.

It clarified that pastors should do more counseling. As a pastor, I’ve wished I’d done more counseling in both pastorates. It isn’t that I didn’t want to. There were some counseling sessions that went well. I helped someone through a difficult job transition. There was marriage counseling as you might expect. I’ve talked with people with issues regarding anger, forgiveness and sexual abuse. But there were people I wish would have sought counseling.

Of course you do plenty informally, in conversations on Sunday. But they often took “how are you doing” as the typical greeting rather than as a request for information and an invitation to open up.

In the forward, Edward Welch notes that “this book is not intended to be a how-to manual. It is more a marker that clarifies your place in this sometimes confusing world of counseling.” It is mean to clarify the pastor’s place in that world. It is meant to encourage pastors to care for the souls of congregants through counseling in addition to feeding them from the Word.

To this end, Powlison’s first words are “Pastor, you are a counselor.” You might be a good counselor or a bad counselor, but you are one like it or not. We deal with the wayward and ignorant, the rebellious, the weak and fainthearted and others.

“Hands-on pastoral counseling never means that you become the only counselor in the body of Christ. You are training Christ’s people how to walk in the image of the “Wonderful Counselor” (Isa. 9:6).“

He’s envisioning a community marked by substantial conversations about the heart. We love to talk about sports, books and movies. Some of us like to talk theology. But we should be talking about the intersection of our faith and our lives, afflictions. We are to apply the wisdom of God as revealed in His word to the particular issues of life.

What Is Counseling?

He notes that what pastors seek to do is very different from what the psychotherapeutic community wants to do. There is overlap. There surely is talking.

A therapists relationship to the client is limited to the sessions. In my MA program we were taught not to acknowledge clients in the “real world”. If they approach us, greet them and talk about things besides what you’ve discussed in sessions. I had one client that struggled with that when he approached me in the grocery store. Well, he had problems with boundaries anyway.

For pastors, counseling is only part of the relationship. We see them regularly outside of sessions, hopefully multiple times a week in worship, SS, committee meetings or Bible studies. There is mutual self-disclosure. A pastoral counselor is more likely to draw on their experiences than a therapist. Caring for the soul is highly relational.

In my counseling program, we were not as detached. It was an interpersonal model, often focused on how the person attached to others, which is often revealed by how you experience them.

A pastor can’t devote 10-15 hours per week to counseling. We will normally do far less due to other responsibilities. We also can’t spend endless weeks counseling an individual. There are many in the congregation, so it will be less intense or focused.

God, knowing that we are self-obsessed sinners with walls of self-protection, wants us to learn to love by being loved: by Him and one another. Our goal is not “health” but maturity, godliness. That includes healthy ways of relating.

We, as alluded to earlier, have multiple relationships with people. We wear many hats in that relationship. The therapeutic world wants to avoid dual-relationships. We come from a very different ethos, that not simply of personal relationships but community.

“Endemic sinfulness deranges our reactions to both traumatic and everyday sufferings. Psalm 23 infuses a different way of suffering. Our derangement is fundamental, rooting in dedicated attentiveness to our own inner voice, the liar we find most persuasive (Prov. 16:2; 21:2). But our Pastor’s voice heals us…”

The Uniqueness of Pastoral Counseling

We have a responsibility to counsel. How much will differ between pastors and pastorates. We have a responsibility to help others love those in their families, neighborhoods, workplaces and churches. We are to help people see their hearts, their motives and twisted nature. This is part of what it means to shepherd people.

We deal with a category that psychotherapists don’t: sin. That means we also deal with a balm they don’t: the gospel. Good biblical and/or Christian counseling does this too, but psychotherapy doesn’t. As a result, preaching and counseling complement one another.

“Counseling usually starts with immediate, troubling experience, and moves toward the God whose person, words, and actions bring light. In contrast, preaching usually moves from Bible exposition toward life application.“

We also have unique opportunities to counsel. We visit them in crisis: hospitals, funeral homes, jail visitation.

Here he addresses the fact that pastors don’t charge. He thinks this allows pastors to be less ambiguous and more honest. We aren’t trying to keep a client.

Well, a bit of push back here. You can offend a congregant in counseling. I’ve had people leave because they shared “too much” and then felt I’d look at them differently. We still need to be gentle. Not less honest, but remember that truth should be joined with love. And people may still leave our congregations.

We are able to “leverage” the trust we have as a pastor in the counseling relationship. A licensed counselor needs to develop trust. We have it which means the process can be quicker. We also know far more about the person: their families, how they relate to others etc. Surely not everything. You’ll be surprised at the things I’ve learned after 10 years because the person thought it wasn’t important. Big things that damage the soul.

How we go about helping them change (and getting them to that point of wanting to change) is also different. We bring God’s wisdom, God’s gospel, faith, hope and love to bear on them and their problems. Another aspect is God’s providence over our trials.

So, this was not quite what I was looking for at the time. I was looking to do it outside of pastoral ministry, more specifically church ministry. He’s focused on counseling as part of church/pastoral ministry.

What he says is very helpful, aside from a few things like that mentioned above. He wants us to embrace our call. This is a good book toward that end. It bears reading. Being short means it is more likely to be read by a pastor.

His blindness was cause for shame. He could not work and was reliant on alms, and the kindness of others. He was ostracized from much of society. Some didn’t pay enough attention to him that they could not positively identify him as the man who had been born blind.

He was broken, but the glory of God was the purpose. Jesus removed much of his shame in healing him. He was ushered into a new mode of existence with new challenges.

But instead of his community rejoicing with him and glorifying God, they began to shame him. “You’re lying to us.” And yet this was an occasion to criticize Jesus because it was the Sabbath. The man was in a catch-22. No miracle, I’m a liar. A miracle, and Jesus is evil.

Shame puts us in these no-win scenarios with others. Admit you’re flawed and you are rejected (or don’t get the job); pretend you are not and your problems deepen and they call you a hypocrite.

It reminds me of the cultural revolution in China (and its manifestation here with the cancel culture) with forced public confessions. The confessions didn’t change anything. You were still exiled to the camps. The group just felt better now that they knew what a horrible person you were. Today we see this on campuses and other places with the cries of “shame”. Or should I say chants of “shame” since it is not one person but a group in unison. These cries are not meant for those who commit evil from a biblical perspective (breaking God’s law) but not toeing the line with the progressive agenda. There are many pushing a cultural revolution here (calling good evil and evil good, calling law and order fascism, agitating communities into “activism”, dividing them into oppressed and oppressor). But I digress, slightly.

Let’s return to John 9.

²⁴ So for the second time they called the man who had been blind and said to him, “Give glory to God. We know that this man is a sinner.” ²⁵ He answered, “Whether he is a sinner I do not know. One thing I do know, that though I was blind, now I see.” ²⁶ They said to him, “What did he do to you? How did he open your eyes?” ²⁷ He answered them, “I have told you already, and you would not listen. Why do you want to hear it again? Do you also want to become his disciples?” ²⁸ And they reviled him, saying, “You are his disciple, but we are disciples of Moses. ²⁹ We know that God has spoken to Moses, but as for this man, we do not know where he comes from.” ³⁰ The man answered, “Why, this is an amazing thing! You do not know where he comes from, and yet he opened my eyes. ³¹ We know that God does not listen to sinners, but if anyone is a worshiper of God and does his will, God listens to him. ³² Never since the world began has it been heard that anyone opened the eyes of a man born blind. ³³ If this man were not from God, he could do nothing.” ³⁴ They answered him, “You were born in utter sin, and would you teach us?” And they cast him out.

Sometimes shame is the work of a system, not just the work of an individual. He was part of an honor culture. He was also encountering a legalistic religious system in the Pharisees.

He is summoned back since they have gotten no where with his parents. They place him under oath to tell the truth (“Give glory to God”). But state “We know this man is a sinner.” They have already judged Jesus. The question is whether or not the man born blind will join in judging Jesus or being judged with Jesus. Will you belong or be cast out? Belonging is important to the honor culture. They are appealing to the fear of shame. “Do you want to be considered nothing, an outcast and apostate?”

He is able to do what he couldn’t before this day: look them in the eye. Before they could mock him without words and not be known. Now he sees- them. Simeon’s prophecy is coming true as the hearts of these men are being revealed through Jesus. Theirs are full of hate.

The man sticks to what he knows: I was blind, but now I see. He makes no statement about Jesus. He doesn’t know Jesus, beyond a brief encounter, at this point.

Back to the miracle: how did Jesus do this? Perhaps they are looking for sorcery: incantations or some ritual. Perhaps it is how could He do what we didn’t even try to do. Remember, this was a man born blind. This miracle is unheard of.

Now it gets ugly. Exasperation on the man’s part because they’ve already gone over it. Sounds like a person who has gone through layers of bureaucracy telling the same story. It is like an innocent man being interrogated by an unbelieving detective. “The story isn’t going to change no matter how many times I tell it.” Ends with this pointed, snarky question: “Do you also want to become His disciples?”

The bomb hit the mark. The question is a bit ambiguous with the “also”. Does it mean he’s a disciple? Do they want to join him? Or are you asking because you want to become His disciples? Of course he knows they don’t.

So they revile, or verbally abuse him. They heap abuse which probably isn’t recorded here. It is intended to belittle him; shame him. Now the definitive statement: “You are His disciple.” But they go further: “we are disciples of Moses.” Jesus went down this road with them before. If they really were, they’d receive Jesus because Moses’ mission was to prepare them for Him. But this is meant as a condescending statement. “We are of Moses, you fool!”

This still happens in theological debate. Sides are chosen, people belittled. Heat but no light. They have not said why Jesus can’t be Messiah except for healing on the Sabbath. HEALING on the Sabbath, the day of rest and re-creation.

But wait, there is more! They know God spoke to Moses, but not to Jesus. They don’t even know where Jesus is from. The man is stunned at their ignorance since this is not the first miracle Jesus has performed. The fact that God listened to Jesus and opened his eyes should be proof to them that God also speaks to Jesus. He can see this so clearly, yet they can’t. They are blinded by their false assumptions.

Offended they heap more abuse on him. He is utterly sinful. He was born this way (back to the disciples’ question). They are offended that such a sinner would seek to teach them. Their fear of being wrong, their pride, have also blinded them to the sign that Jesus is indeed the Word become flesh dwelling among us, as well as the Lamb of God come to take away the sins of the world.

Thankfully they don’t get the final word.

³⁵ Jesus heard that they had cast him out, and having found him he said, “Do you believe in the Son of Man?” ³⁶ He answered, “And who is he, sir, that I may believe in him?” ³⁷ Jesus said to him, “You have seen him, and it is he who is speaking to you.” ³⁸ He said, “Lord, I believe,” and he worshiped him. ³⁹ Jesus said, “For judgment I came into this world, that those who do not see may see, and those who see may become blind.” ⁴⁰ Some of the Pharisees near him heard these things, and said to him, “Are we also blind?” ⁴¹ Jesus said to them, “If you were blind, you would have no guilt; but now that you say, ‘We see,’ your guilt remains.

While not explicit in verse 34, it is explicit here: they kicked him out of the synagogue. He joins Jesus outside of the “establishment”, he joins the “sinners.”

While they toss him away like garbage, Jesus seeks him out. Jesus is not put off by the shame others dump on us. He bore it, just like He bore our guilt. He sees us, not as we are, but as He shall make us. He sees the glory that He offers us, the glory of His that He willingly shares. He’s not focused on whether or not we measure up. He imputes righteousness to us in justification and infuses it in sanctification. He declares us acceptable and then makes us acceptable; quite the reverse of the world.

We should take great comfort in this. Jesus doesn’t treat us like we think He should. Like everyone else claims He should. Jesus is for losers, and makes them winners at the end.

Jesus asks if he believes in the Son of Man (think Daniel). He doesn’t know who the Son of Man is. Not ignorance of the Son of Man and His significance, but the particular identity of the Son of Man.

First Jesus affirms that He is the Son of Man. Because of the miracle, the man believes this to be true. The true Judge and Ruler of Israel was before him as a humble rabbi. He’s given a peek beneath the shame the establishment has placed on Jesus through the miracle. The man born blind sees more clearly than everyone else at this moment.

Second, Jesus receives his worship. He bows before Messiah. He bows before the Word who was with and is God. He bows for the One who is one with the Father, who was before Abraham, who is the I am. Jesus accepts His worship because He is God (contrary to the views of various Arian and Apollinarian groups like the Jehovah’s Witnesses and Mormon).

Jesus refers back to Daniel, that He is given the responsibility to judge, and to bring about the great reversal: the blind will see Him, and those who see will become blind should they reject Him.

As you might imagine, there were Pharisees lurking by. They are offended. “Are we also blind?”

Jesus says their guilt remains because they claim to see, but see Him not as He truly is. They are full of unbelief. The man born blind is full of faith. He is justified, and they are condemned by their own testimony.

It is not the testimony of others about you that matters. It is your testimony about Jesus that matters, from one perspective. Do we believe or not? But ultimately it is the testimony about us by Jesus that matters. His acceptance is what matters.

We all have had experiences of rejection. People who didn’t want to be friends (any more). People who didn’t want to date us (or be married to us) anymore, or ever. We’ve been fired from jobs, rejected by schools and employers. We are constantly told we are not good enough, we aren’t worth someone’s time and energy. For some reason Rocky comes to mind, as Mick comes hat in hand asking to train him for the big fight. “Where were you when I needed you?” Rocky the bum, treated as a nobody is someone so many identified with.

Here’s good news. Jesus loves bums and losers. As Paul tells us in 1 Corinthians 1- not many were noble or wise. God choose the undesirables to shame the proud, noble and wise who think they deserve God’s love. He sheds His love on the ungodly, weak, sinful and unacceptable. He doesn’t shame His people: He honors them.

This is something worth believing.