Ok where was I……
Instead of saying sumthin’ slick, I just explained that the crowd would just be jumpin’ around that time so that time would be good. RASTA MAN says ok babe what ever you want. Wayyyyy to much work. We are now at MOCA, the music is jumpin’ and the drinks are flowin’. We are sitting on one the the couches and I’m jammin to the music sippin’ on a Harlem Bellini and he ‘s drinking a Guinness Stout. Again don’t forget he has NO CONVERSATION SKILLS at all. He’s just looking at me as if I was something good to eat. Ok, it’s nice to compliment the lady you’re with on how pretty she looks, how good she smells, her hair looks nice, but DAMN he spent half the night telling me WOWWWW you’re sexy babe. I tried to conversate, it wasn’t working. The brothas were out that night. The meat was definitely swinging in there that night. Oh how I wanted to talk to this one brotha, but I didn’t want to be rude. After all I wouldn’t want him to do that to me. Then again I would have kept his attention, trust me. I’m gyrating on the couch to the music and he leans over and asks me, “Do you ride a man?” TURNOFF!!!!.But now all bets are off, as I sharpen my tongue to cut this muthafu&*#$. I say, yes like the true stallion I am, but the question of the night is, do you eat PU**Y. His jaw dropped to the floor. His answer was NO. My culture don’t allow me to do that. Your culture!!!!…….. Well, you know he is done off now for sure. Maybe we can salvage this as a platonic friendship. Don’t eat PU**y , is he crazy, yeah he is. It’s now around 3am and 7 Harlem Bellinis later he’s yawning and I’m ready to go make my call to get broke off a little sumthin’, sumthin.
RASTA MAN keeps callin’ me and saying I need your friendship and I like being in your circle. Can you say GREEN CARD. Look RASTA MAN, I’m just looking to be friends nothing more. He’s doesn’t take no for an answer. He calls me on a Saturday afternoon. I was going dowtown to shop. I say want to join me, thinking maybe it might be ok. Go for a nice lunch and a few drinks nothing big. Before we meet on the train he calls me again to tell me he has no funds today, broke ass nucka. I did my shopping and we go into BBQ on 42nd Times SQ. (don’t forget he says he only eats certain fish, veges, tofu). I can tell he hasn’t been to many restaurants if any at all. He’s looking around like he’s a tourist. The tourists look more normal than this jackass.. We sit down and i’m ready to order drinks. I told him straight up NO Guinness stout on the menu, but here are the beers they offer. This fool can’t read. Corona was clear as day,he didn’t see it. Not only did he not see it, he argued it wasn’t there. The couple sitting next to us was crackin’ up cause my face was twisted up. I told him you’re embarrassing me, CHILL OUT or get the FUCK out for real!!!!! The waiter had to come back 5 times cause he couldn’t decide what you eat or he was too embarrassed cause his ass couldn’t read the damn menu. He looks at the corner with the fish. How long does it take to decide what you want. There are only 4-5 choices for that. He finally decides which one .
…….now are you ready for this one…….. The waiter asks baked potato, french fries, or rice. About 5 min later he looks at the waiter with the most dumb founded look and says are french fries potatoes? Well the couple next to us are now crying , tears rolling down their faces. I am beyond angry and the waiter looked at me and just dropped his head, put his hand on my shoulder as if to tell me to RUN!!!! The food comes , he’s picking in it like a two year old, just makin’ a mess. The bill comes I pay for it…remember..he has no funds. It’s all good. We now leave and he says thank you, who knew he had manners. I’m going to the train station and he seems like he’s coming along. My tongue is now as sharp as a ginsu knife. I cut that boy into shreds. I told him get the fuck away from me, don’t ever in this life time call me again. He seemed unfazed by my words and said, why you mad babe? I told him I will find a cop and tell them you are harrasing me and have your ass deported back to Jamaica. Needless to say I haven’t heard from since. WHY ME?
Taste the Buttascotch 