yes, i have made it thankfully to my due date…but hoping that the lil’ one will wait at least until sunday. tomorrow mom comes and brad is away picking her up – so that won’t work because he is my doula!! plus, i am not sure the anesthesiologist is actually back in town from south africa, and i really don’t want to have to go out of town to have this baby. not that i plan on using his services, but we don’t want to have to be ambulanced 1.5 hrs away if there is some crazy complication.
it has been an whole different pregnancy this one. physically it’s been good… similar to E’s. but the 9 months has been a big crazy-fest of activity in our lives circumstantially and emotionally. one of my biggest frustrations of our move is resigning myself to the fact that i would not have my midwife and a homebirth as we were planning. it probably seems a no brainer to many- that it’s not a big deal to go to the hospital…but after having such an amazing experience with E’s birth and my complete dislike of hospitals – it is a bit torturous.
thankfully, we have found a great doctor who is very open to our philosophy of birth and willing to allow us give birth to this little treasure as we desire. i have realized that i am quite passionate about childbirth in all it’s beauty and sacredness.
overall – i do believe that this experience here in meadow is part of a gift for me. it has been a challenge to work through my own emotions and fears about the coming birth. and what i believe most about birth is that it is the fears that hold us women back from allowing our bodies to do the work that it has been created to do. the mental/physical connection is so incredibly powerful! i truly believe that women are so weakened by the way our society portrays birth and provides blinders/numbness to attempt to just get it over.
as we look to the next days of having a new experience of birth, i am praying for the faith and strength to embrace the coming of this new child no matter the circumstances around me. that is our challenge this time – doing what we know to be true despite what’s going on around us. surrendering to my body – embracing the pain and opening to the life that is to be birthed and in all of that trusting / knowing that the Creator of life is present and apart of the whole process and circumstance. and so living from a different place – a deeper place that the spirit it breathes and moves.
and until then we wait in confidence….
and will keep you posted.
also – for those interested – i found this book to be absolutely transformative and empowering – Ina May’s Guide to Childbirth. i highly, highly recommend it!