", "THE FIRST TIME ANAL", "PASS THE CUP TO THE RIGHT AND TAKE A GULP", "T DEUCE WOULD YOU LIKE A TEXT WITH A SELFIE OF ME IN MY NEW HOODIE", "DOWNLOAD ME", "DICKS DICKS DICKS DICKS DICKS GOOD MORNING DICKS DICKS DICKS", "WHO DO YOU THINK HAD THE BIGGER COCK, MILTON BERLE OR SID CAESAR", "THINK OF ME AS A MOOD RING FOR DICKS", "T DEUCE MY BONER CRASHED INTO THE SEA", "WHAT HAVE WE LEARNED", "BASIL FED SNAILS ROASTED IN THE HEARTH OVEN, PERNOD BUTTER 13", "WON'T YOU JACK ME OFF", "PUNCH MY JUNK", "DICKS^3", "AND A ONE AND A TWO AND HLGAHGLAHGLHALGUHHHGUALHLUAG", "THIS IS TAKING FOREVER HUFF PUFF BUHH WISH HE'D JIZZ SOON MUP MUP", "HELP ME", "GOD HAS GROWN TIRED OF US AND I PROBABLY HAVE TO POOP AGAIN", "BUHHHHH GAY DUH", "GOOD MORNING EVERYBODY", "I MANHANDLE BANANAS", "I LIKE THE CAREFUL CRAFTING OF EVERY JERKCITY EPISODE", "GAY WIENERS / GAY WIENERS", "I MUST PROTEST: A FLAPJACK IN AND OF ITSELF CANNOT BE GAY", "BLAST ME OFF", "WELL I BOUGHT A PEACOCK ONLINE", "DOES THIS LOOK LIKE A MAN BONER", "KISSING THE RING (EVEN THOUGH NOBODY INSTRUCTED ME TO DO SO)", "DROWN ME IN A BUCKET", "T DEUCE WHAT DO EPA REGULATIONS SAY ABOUT MY BONER, MY BALLS", "THE TENSION MOUNTS", "THE MIGHTY BUFFALO", "DONATE MY SKULL TO SCIENCE", "GULP ME DOWN", "PUSH THE POO BACK INTO MY BOTTOM", "HANDJOB", "DOWN GO MY PANTS", "EARLIER TODAY I EXPERIENCED A TIGHTNESS IN MY CHEST THAT BECAME A PAIN AND THEN I TOOK A HUGE DUMP AND FELT BETTER", "LEARN ME", "I AM GOING TO CLICK THE CHINESE FOOD BUTTON", "YES THAT'S WHAT I'M SAYING: WHAT IF I CAN'T BE BEAT OFF", "ME SO SCREAMY SHOUT", "THERE MIGHT BE A POKEMON IN THIS STALL!!!!! FOLLOW ME EVERYBODY AND TAKE OFF YOUR SHIRTS YOU DON'T WANT TO SCARE THEM", "SHOULD I SPURT INTO MY OWN EYE AND COMPLAIN THAT \"SOMEONE\" SPURTED IN MY EYE", "THINK IF ME AS YOUR SPIRITUAL HLAHGULAHUGLHALGHAGLAG GUIDE ", "I", "MY BALLS SHINE WITH A SOFT GLOW", "DONGWORK", "OH GOD POO EVERYWHERE", "LOOK ME IN THE EYE AND TELL ME THAT WASN'T YOUR MEMBER", "CAN ME AND STORE ME IN CASE OF AN EMERGENCY (FAMINE, EARTHQUAKE, SOCIAL UNREST)", "IT IS AS IF THE MACHINE DOES NOT HAVE AN OFF STATE", "I HAVE SUBJECT IN MY SIGHT HE IS HEADING TOWARDS THE BATHROOM", "SEE ALSO: SPELL TO TRANSFORM TEETH INTO MARSHMALLOWS", "THIS STALL IS HAUNTED AS FUCK", "MOSTLY SUCKING NOISES", "T DEUCE ADULT DIAPERS AS CONVENIENCE, ADULT DIAPERS AS FASHION STATEMENT", ".SHOUT DICKS", "SO IT'S COME TO THIS (BEATING OFF TO MY REFLECTION)", "I STILL DON'T SEE WHAT HUFFING THIS PAINT-SOAKED RAG IS FUN", "THE SAINT OF ALL WIENERS", "MY BONER IS QUESTIONING THE NATURE OF ITS REALITY", "I WANT TO SEX", "GENDERFLUID", "AMEN TO THAT BROTHER!!!!!!!!!!!!! FACESTUFFING", "SHUT THE DOOR", "HI", "DO THE LOCOMOTION WITH ME???????????????????????????", "WELL", "T SPIGOT I AM SO SORRY (RE: COCKS, FACE)", "YOU HOLD THE SCREWDRIVER AND I'LL PRY THE PILLS OUT OF THE ROOMBA", "SIT IN JUDGEMENT OF ME", "MAGNETO WAS RIGHT", "DON'T HATE THE WIENER HATE THE GAME (THE WIENER GAME)", "YOU ARE ALL MY CHILDREN", "HUG ME WHILE I POO", "YOU'VE REALLY MESSED UP EVERYTHING JEAN-CHARLES", "DO I HAVE TO GET DRESSED TODAY/WEAR SHOES/SHAVE", "DO I HAVE TO TAKE OFF MY SHIRT", "FIDDLESTICKS, A BROKEN DOWN BONER", "THERE WAS A CHAP HIS NAME WAS BERT HE ATE THE BUTTONS OFF HIS SHIRT", "I WAS NEVER HERE", "T DEUCE PLEASE PICK FROM THE MENU", "DO YOU HAVE ANY CANDY FOR ME", "WHAT TIME IS OUR COSPLAY DINNER AND WHAT PARKING LOT WILL WE BE COSPLAYING IN", "WE ARE FRIENDS (JUMPING, HUGGING)", "COCK(S)", "ARE YOU A MONSTER", "T SPIGOT DO YOU HAVE A BIG HOME RIG OR DO YOU USE A HANDHELD", "BOW DOWN AND WORSHIP ME", "T DEUCE DICKS", "SOMETHING WONDERFUL", "T DEUCE IMPORTANT YOU SEE THIS", "+ANAL +\"FIRST TIME\" -AFFLECK [OBSCURED] -CLOONEY -PITT", "DICKS!!!!!!!! LUAHGLUAHUGLAUHGLHAGLUAHALGHLGHL OW OW OW HLKAGHULAHGLAHGLHAGLHLAHLUGAG OW OW HULAGUHLAGHULUHALGHULAHUGA OW OW NOT LEARNING LUGHLAHGLUAHGLUAHLGG", "CAN WE GO TO OLIVE GARDEN", "THEN WE COULD RENAME IT GUN BUNNIES WITH OWEN WILSON AS FIVER AND BILL MURRAY AS BIGWIG", "SHORE LEAVE IS GONNA BE AWESOME", "JACK ME OFF UNTIL I CAN'T SEE", "OKAY I GOTTA BE HONEST THIS IS MY SECOND TIME ANAL", "I'M A LAFF RIOT", "I FINGERED LAURA PALMER", "I LIKE THE NOTION OF ALBERT BROOKS BUT NOT NECESSARILY ALBERT BROOKS IN PRACTICE", "DOES THIS ASCOT SCARF MAKE ME LOOK FRUITY", "CAN ANYTHING BE BUTTFUCKED OR DOES THE THING HAVE TO HAVE A BUTT", "SO IF I'M FUCKING A FISH AND", "*AHEM* I DIDN'T GO TO MEDICAL SCHOOL FOR 8 YEARS TO BE CALLED MISTER DEMENTO", "T DEUCE PUTTING A BABY SHOE ON MY DONG", "I'M PROBLEMATIC", "T DEUCE DICKS !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I PUT THEM IN MY POCKET", "I DON'T SPEAK UH WHATEVER IT IS YOU'RE SPEAKING", "FOOPMTPH EJECTED INTO SPACE", "RATTLE MY CAGE", "CLOSE ALL THE WINDOWS AND FILL THE HOUSE FULL OF SPURT", "TIRED", "NEW YEAR, NEW BAG OF FARTS", "DADDY WILL NEVER LET YOU WEAR THIS MUCH MAKEUP", "PLEASE DO THE NEEDFUL", "CAN YOU TELL THIS IS ME JACKING OFF (SERIES OF POLAROIDS ON COFFEE TABLE)", "CAN I BE PRESIDENT SOME DAY", "PRE-RETAIL, IMPROPER FRAMERATE, HARDCODED SUBTITLES", "WHOSE PISS BUCKET IS THIS (SLOSHING, SPLASHING)", "WE HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR YOU HERE (PARKING LOT EMPTY, WINDOWS BOARDED UP, TWO DORKS IN SUITS)", "IS THERE NO NOT-GAY WAY TO WASH THESE ZUCCHINI", "LORDY", "\"TAKING ONE FOR THE TEAM\"", "T DEUCE WOULD YOU LIKE TO SEE MY MOUSEHOLE", "GRR", "DON'T CRY", "WHAT'S THE DIFF BETWEEN SHROVE MONDAY AND SHROVE TUESDAY", "THERE'S AN ONION IN MY BOTTOM", "TO KEEP READING, PLEASE ENTER YOUR EMAIL ADDRESS.", "911 DO YOU NEED POLICE FIRE OR MEDICAL", "HUMP THAT TOAD", "T DEUCE I DON'T LIKE YOUR NICKI MINAJ DISS TRACK (EDITED)", "A RED X ON ONE OF YOUR EYES, NEVER CONSISTENT, EVER PRESENT", "BE MY VALENTINE", "MY PRECIOUS FIELD NOTES BRAND NOTEPAD AND MY DELICATE LITTLE INK PEN (BRAND UNSPECIFIED)", "STAND BACK GOTTA BEAT OFF", "I'M A JIZZ BUG", "I'M UPGRADING MY GRAPHICS DRIVER", "ARE YOU SURE MAGIC BUTTHOLE INSURANCE IS A GOOD IDEA", "ALL I KNOW IS I CHOKE MY DONG LIKE IT WAS A NURSE OR A PROSTITUTE", "NUGGGGGGH YOUR GAY WAYS", "WE DON'T HAVE TO THINK LIKE THAT ANYMORE", "THE SOPRANOS GUYS FIND OUT THAT VITO IS GAY HD", "OW OW OW THE TAIL OF THE COMET IS HOT OW OW OW SO IS THE OTHER END", "WELP IT'S ON ITS WAY TO THE CORE OF THE EARTH", "IS PISS A REAL PHONENOMENA OR JUST A MADE-UP THING", "ARE YOU SURE YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO GET IT ALL OVER MY FACE AND EYES", "PISS IN A PLASTIC BAGGIE", "DOES THIS COWBOY HAT MAKE ME LOOK LIKE A TOTAL HOMO", "T DEUCE DO YOU EVER THINK ABOUT THAT TIME MY BONER FLOPPED OUT/POPPED OUT", "YOU SAID YOU WERE BEATING OFF", "MY SOUL IS BEAUTIFUL", "MEAN TIME BETWEEN SQUIRPS", "900 DICKS", "T SPIGOT WOULD YOU RATHER BE MANFONDLED BY SUFJAN STEVENS OR FATHER JOHN MISTY OR DAN THE AUTOMATOR", "ALGHAGLUHALGAG", "9", "HUFF THE RAG", "T DEUCE HEY WHEN'S FAG SEASON", "CAN I CHOKE MYSELF????????????", "BONK BONK BONK I SHOULD NOT BE ABLE TO FLY", "OH AM I A NOBLE", "T DEUCE YOU'RE THE MOST BEAUTIFUL GIRL IN HACKNEY Y'KNOW", "THE SKILLS TO PAY THE PILLS BILLS", "TOP ME OFF (FILL IT TO THE RIM)", "WHY DO I HAVE TO WEAR A TIE TO THE TOILETS", "CHOMP CHOMP CHOMP", "CRAZY COCKS", "PLEASE FILL THE SILO WITH CORN AND THEN PLEASE PUT ME IN THE SILO", "WHAT KIND OF PIE ARE WE TALKING ABOUT", "T SPIGOT CAREFULLY PLACING THE TOWEL IN FRONT OF THE TOILET", "EARLIER WHEN YOU CAUGHT ME BEATING OFF, THAT WAS JUST A JOKE I WAS JUST KIDDING AROUND", "THEY ARE SO COMING BACK!!!!! I'M GOING TO SIT ON THE PORCH AND WAIT (CAN YOU GET ME A SWEATER I'M COLD) (ALSO A BACKRUB WOULD BE NICE)", "WHY WEREN'T YOU AT THE BEHEADING", "CAN I CHOKE IT DOWN WITHOUT CAUSING TROUBLE", "I DON'T KNOW, WHAT DO YOU FEEL LIKE SUCKING ", "WHAT KIND OF MONSTER ARE YOU", "WHICH PIPE IS THE ASS PIPE", "THE OXFORD DONG", "FACIAL", "I DIDN'T SPIT ON YOU I", "GOD'S JUDGEMENT IS FIERCE AND ALSO FAIR AND A LITTLE BI", "T DEUCE WE HAVE SOME IMPORTANT DECISIONS TO CONSIDER: HAMBURGERS; CHEESEBURGERS; BOTH", "HEY DOES THIS LOOK HARD ENOUGH (FOR MY PLAYGIRL CENTERFOLD)", "XOXO", "JUST PLEASE GET UP AGAINST THE WALL WITH THE REST OF", "\"DEATH BY MISADVENTURE\"", "BEAT / ME / OFFFFF", "PISSGATE", "THE SPICE MUST FLOW", "COMPARING PAYLOADS", "T SPIGOT ARE YOU SAYING WE SHOULD-- [CHOPPED OFF HEAD FALLS NEATLY INTO BASKET, PEASANTS CHEER]", "LICKY DICKY", "I WAS NOT BEATING OFF TO WRECK-IT RALPH I WAS JUST ADJUSTING MY UNDERGARMENTS IN THE HEAT OF THE DAY", "YOU MIGHT SAY MY DICK IS FUN-SIZED", "`NOTE: UNNECESSARY USE OF -X OR --REQUEST, POST IS ALREADY INFERRED.`", "HAHA", "A LITTLE PINCH", "GET ON IT", "CRONCH CRONCH CRONCH I ONLY EAT TOP SHELF INSECTS", "YOU HAVE 5 FREE VIEWS REMAINING", "[EXPLETIVE DEPICTING SEXUAL ACT]", "T DEUCE WILL BRINE SHRIMP SURVIVE THE VACUUM OF MY BUTTHOLE", "PISS-TESTING", "T DEUCE HELP ME OUT HERE I'M WRITING A POEM: HOW MANY DICKS DO YOU THINK BRAD PITT HAS TOUCHED", "WELL THAT WAS FUN", "CAN I DRAG AND DROP MY BONER ONTO MY OTHER BONER", "T DEUCE IT'S NOT MY FAULT MAN", "T DEUCE THE SMOKE DETECTORS ARE LISTENING TO EVERYTHING YOU SAY BETTER REMOVE THEM", "LIGHT MY DICK ON FIRE AND TAKE A PUFF", "I WEAR ADULT DIAPERS", "THE FORMAT OF THE FILES IN `/VAR/NAMED/NAMEDB` ARE SLIGHTLY DIFFERENT THAN WHAT WE'RE USED TO, NOTE THE STUPID FAT GAY `@` HANGING AROUND LOOKIN' FOR DICK LIKE DORF ON GOLF", "COCKS", "WAS RE: DIPPING MY PENCIL THIN DONG INTO THE OLD MURKY WATERS", "T DEUCE GET READY TO RIDE MY PONY", "DICKS", "I'M THE GROPEMASTER", "HAVE YOU EVER RETIRED A HUMAN BY MISTAKE", "DICKS", "WE SHALL BEAT THEM OFF AT THE SHORES. WE SHALL BEAT THEM OFF AT THE BEACHES", "WHAT ARE YOU DOING DOWN THERE IN MY DIRTY CLOTHES", "OKAY YOU'RE THE SHIT MAN AND I EAT SHIT", "WELL I'M BORED", "SO", "J/O", "T DEUCE WHAT'S A BUTT HEN", "OH FUCK IT AHUGLAHGLUAHGLUAHG LUAHGLUAHGLAHGLA HGLAHGLAHGLAHGL (NINE TIMES NINE TIMES NINE)", "STOP GTHIS F*CKING IDIOCY ALREADY! MMM DUH", "EVERYBODY NEEDS TO STOP WHAT THEY'RE DOING AND SUCK A DICK", "TAKE A RUBBER MALLET FROM", "PISS", "I AM TOO FAT TO SIT ON THE HORSEY, THE ROCKET SHIP", "SHARP HONKS AS MY HEAD IS POUNDED AGAINST THE STEERING WHEEL", "DO THESE FISHNETS MAKE ME LOOK EASY", "PENIS PUMP(S)", "BLINK BLINK", "DICKS", "WELCOME TO MONDAY", "ED EMBERLEY VS RICHARD SCARRY: WHO WOULD WIN", "EVERYBODY DANCE NOW", "WELL I'M GONNA GO HANG OUT WITH MY NEW FRIEND RACHEL MADDOW ON MSNBC BYE FOREVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!", "MY BONER WILL NEVER DIE", "DO YOU NEED MORE PISS", "SSSSSNAKES SSSSSSSUCKING THINGSSSSSSSSSS", "HTTPS://WWW.GOOGLE.COM/SEARCH?Q=\"SUCH+IS+THE+WIND+BLOWN+LIFE+OF+A+SAILOR\"", "MAKING THE BIG MOUTH NOISE", "WOULD SIR CARE FOR WINDEX IN THE EYES", "HAVE YOU TRIED REBOOTING YOUR OWN BONER", "HOW ABOUT JUST CLIMB A LADDER, PISS IN MY FACE AND THEN COME DOWN FROM THERE BEFORE YOU BREAK YOUR STUPID NECK", "DO YOU TAKE BITCOIN (FOR THE BALLSTOMPING GOODS, THE BALLSTOMPING SERVICES)", "I HOPE THAT WHEN I AM OLD AND ALZHEIMERED MY RAMBLINGS AND BABBLING INCORPORATE EQUAL AMOUNTS OF RELIGIOUSNESS AND TALK ABOUT DICKS", "SING WITH ME", "FLUSHING MY DONG DOWN THE CRAPPER", "OKAY I NEED YOU TO PISS AND PISS AND PISS UNTIL MY MOUTH IS FULL AND OVERFLOWING (IT'S OKAY, I'LL BE BREATHING THROUGH MY NOSE)", "YOUR SEARCH - \"PISS DRINKERS LOCAL UNION\" OR \"PISS DRINKERS UNION\" -...", "LOVIN' THE PISS", "WELL WHAT SHOULD I DO WITH THIS PLASTIC BAGGIE OF PISS THEN (INDIGNANT)", "ALL I KNOW IS, I DON'T HAVE ANYTHING TO SAY ABOUT NOTHING", "WHO WANTS A HUG", "IS MY FLESH HARAM", "DICKS", "T DEUCE I'M A EUROSLUT", "DICKS", "T DEUCE HAVE THEY FOUND YOUR BODY YET", "PURCHASE AUTHORIZED ON 02/02 GIRL SCOUT COOKIES", "A BIG DUMB BONER BEGAN TO POKE", "A GOOSE RAN OVER MY GRAVE", "IS IT TRUE YOU CAN TRAIN CROWS TO LICK DICK", "OW", "OH", "IF YOU'RE LISTENING TO THIS IN STEREO", "PLEASE PUT ME IN A CAN", "WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO WITH MY BODY AFTER I'VE PASSED", "CAN I CALL MYSELF A MAN NOW", "I'M OFFICIALLY TIRED OF THE WORD \"TROPES\"", "BIG DICKS", "WHY CAN'T YOU JACK ME OFF LIKE A NORMAL PERSON", "IT'S NORMAL TO SPIT PISS LIKE A FOUNTAIN", "JIZZY JIM WE HARDLY KNEW YE (SERIOUSLY WE KNEW ALMOST NOTHING ABOUT THE MAN OTHER THAN HIS NAME AND HIS HOBBY)", "ONE HOUR MARTINIZING", "YOU OBVIOUSLY LOVE GREAT QUEER VAMPYRE FICTION", "HAVING A STROKE (THE GOOD KIND!!!!!)", "IF WISHES WERE WIENERS", "YOU MIGHT SAY I'M PULLING FOR MY TEAM", "BUT THE SCARIEST MONSTER OF ALL IS RACISM", "`GET STARTED: BUILD AN APP ON TWITTER`", "PUT ME IN THE HAMPER, I'M DIRTY", "I AM AS AGREEABLE AS I AM PLUMP", "I WOULD JUST LIKE TO SAY FOR THE RECORD THAT I AM A HUGE FAG", "SCANNING FOR `BOYS`", "DICKS", "GALHLAGHLAHG SUCK IT", "SHOULD WE PUT YOU TO SLEEP", "JACK ME OFF BACKWARDS THIS TIME", "HOW MANY LUMPS OF POLONIUM WOULD YOU LIKE IN YOUR TEA DEAR", "WHAT DOES IT MEAN WHEN YOU'RE PISSING BUT INSTEAD OF URINE IT'S ANGELS AND THEY ARE SINGING REPENT IN THE SWEEST VOICE BUT THEN THEY'RE NOT ANGELS THEY ARE DEVILS AND THEY ARE STABBING ME AND DRAGGING ME DOWN AND IT HURTS SO MUCH AND I'M IN SO MUCH PAIN AND I WOULD DO ANYTHING ANYTHING TO STOP THE ETERNAL SUFFERING AND TORMENT AND THE DEVIL VOICES ARE ALSO BEAUTIFUL LIKE ANGELS BUT THEY ARE SAYING THAT I WAS DECEIVED BY THE SERPENT'S CUNNING AND", "\"I WONDER WHAT'S SO SPECIAL ABOUT S3E8\" AND THEN BOOOOOOM I AM A MAN TODAY", "A SHOT RINGS OUT", "NO, IT'S NOT SHI'AR", "CHOP ALL OF OUR HEADS OFF", "A GUMP WITH A TALL BANK", "WELP I'M GOING TO HAVE TO CHOP YOU DOWN (WE NEED WOOD FOR WINTER)", "I'M WEARING LEATHER ARMOR WHICH GIVES ME AN ARMOR CLASS OF (SQUINTING) 10", "EYEWITNESSES SAY YOU'RE A FAG", "PLEASE FAV ME", "ANYWAY: PISS IN MY POT", "JUST PRESS THE MUZZLE RIGHT BETWEEN MY EYES SO YOU DON'T MISS OR FLINCH", "...WHAT WAS IT?", "I WEAR SWIM TRUNKS AS UNDERPANTS", "ORGIE PORGIE GIVES RELEASE", "OOH OOH / BABY BABY", "IS IT TIME FOR DINNER YET", "I CAN'T BEAT OFF WHEN YOU MAKE THAT FACE", "CANNIBALIZE YOUR OWN DONG", "I SWING BOTH WAYS BUT ONLY ONE WAY AT A TIME (DUE TO THE LAWS OF PHYSICS, THE LAWS OF SANTA CLARA COUNTY)", "NEED YOUR HOPES, YOUR PRAYERS", "THE BEST WAY TO SURVIVE A STREET FIGHT?????? GAY DAD WEED", "THE WORLD WAS TOO BEAUTIFUL FOR YOU", "(TURNING THE MONSTER MANUAL SIDEWAYS TO SEE THE CENTERFOLD)", "I AM NO LONGER ALLOWED TO ASK ALEXA TO PLAY WALKING ON SUNSHINE", "T DEUCE ALSO WE SHOULD DRIVE AROUND WITH THE TOP DOWN LISTENING TO ERASURE", "HELP MY NECKTIE IS STUCK IN THE SHREDDER", "I CHALLENGE YOU TO A DANCE-OFF", "DRINK FROM ME", "BUGS DOWN INSIDE MY WIENER", "I'M A POTTED PLANT", "SPONTANEOUS OTOACOUSTIC EMISSIONS", "UNDERNEATH ALL THE PISS AND SHIT AND DIRT IS...............", "LICK DICK IN OUTER SPACE", "DO U WANT 2 PISS ON ME", "I'M HOPING THAT IF WE DO GET TO GO UP THE RIVER LOOKING FOR COLONEL KURTZ WE'LL BE ABLE TO GET OUT OF THE BOAT NOW AND THEN", "ARE YOU SURE SUCKING THEM ALL OFF (IN A ROW) IS THE RIGHT THING TO DO???", "I LIVE IN THE SWAMP AND EAT MOSS (AND DICK)", "SOUND OFF", "GETTING STONED AND WATCHING THE MARX BROS", "FIRST LET ME PUT ON THIS DRESS", "PISS", "MY DONG: OVERSIZE TUFTED LEATHER DISTRESSED WALL-MOUNTED SOPHISTICATED SWEEPING ELEGANT EASY-OPEN PETITE BRONZE", "WHICH SHOULD I BUY, A 2016 TOYOTA SHITBOX OR A 2010 FORD FAGFACE", "WHERE'S THE KEY BINDING TO DODGE CUM????????//", "I WONDER IF I'M FAT ENOUGH TO HOLD DOWN THE FORT", "DO WOMEN HAVE DICKS OR IS THAT JUST DUDES", "DEAR FAGS,", "T SPIGOT SOMETIMES I SEE HOW LONG I CAN SHAKE THE CURSOR TO MAKE IT STAY BIG", "THERE'S A DISTURBING PATTERN IN MY TROUSERS YOU SHOULD TOTALLY CALL SCULLY AND INVESTIGATE", "MILK EGGS HAM I'LL EAT IT ALL", "ABSTRACTQUEUEABLE LOOKS LIKE ABSTRACTQUEERABLE AND THAT MAKES ME UNCOMFORTABLE", "DRAWING EYEBROWS ON MY WIENER", "LIKE A GOAT I EAT GARBAGE (SPICY BONELESS WINGS FROM ROUND TABLE)", "I WAS TOTALLY GOING TO SUCK A DICK BUT THEN I SAW A MOTH AND NOW I'M SCARED", "WILLING TO POP AND PUSH", "T DEUCE IT'S NOT GAY IF YOU'RE TRYING TO HELP A FRIEND", "GIMME SOME OF THAT OPERATION LOCKER", "MAKING A THANKSGIVING TURKEY, TRACING FINGERS ONTO CONSTRUCTION PAPER", "BOW DOWN AND WORSHIP ME", "GO BACK TO RUSSIA", "PISSING", "OKAY HERE'S HOW TO SOLVE THE FACTORY PUZZLE", "ALL MEN ARE PERVS", "DOPPLER RADAR IN THE MENS ROOM", "I HOPE FAR CRY 6 TAKES PLACE IN THE CASTRO DISTRICT", "IS THIS BEATOFF ALLEY OR DID I TAKE A WRONG TURN AGAIN", "GET YOU SOME RELIGION", "CAN I TRANSITION FROM A MAN TO A BUTTERFLY (IS THAT THE LAW)", "WHY DON'T YOU BEAT ME OFF JAZZ-STYLE (FREE FORM BUT NOT OUT OF BOUNDS)", "T DEUCE WHEN I RING THE LITTLE BELL I EXPECT YOU TO APPEAR AT MY BEDSIDE ASKING ME WHAT I WANT", "I WAS THINKING ABOUT DROWNING MYSELF BUT I CAN'T DO IT ALONE", "KAFF KAFF KAFF", "@SPIGOT I DON'T LIKE THE @SPIGOT DESIGNATOR I PREFER T SPIGOT", "I'M GOING TO WEAR A TIE AND START EATING IT UNTIL MY NECK BREAKS", "CONSTERNATION, FURROWED BROWS WHILE I CRABWALK DOWN THE HALL, SQUIRTING PISS ONTO THE WAINSCOTING", "THERE'S NO ASS IN THE WHOLE WORLD LIKE A YOUNG JEWISH GIRL WHO'S HOOKING", "A NEW PRIME NUMBER???????? I BET IT'S 17", "REJOICE DEATH IS NOT THE END", "GOD HAS A PLAN FOR ALL US", "MY COW NAME IS BUTTERBALLS", "THIS IS THE LIFE HUH", "HEY UH", "WHY CAN'T YOU AND I BEAT EACH OTHER OFF NORMALLY", "A DUCK RAN OFF WITH MY PENIS", "---...---", "AG-GAG LAWS", "HAVE YOU FORSAKEN ME (IT'S OKAY IF YOU HAVE, I'M COOL WITH THAT)", "I CAN'T PISS WITH YOU WATCHING", "THERE'S NOTHING \"COOL\" ABOUT CALLING IN SICK TO SMOKE DOPE AND WATCH TV", "PISS (POSSIBLY PISS)", "CUT THE APPLE INTO THIN WEDGES, THEN CUT THE WEDGES INTO HALF-INCH PIECES; PLACE IN THE GARBAGE CAN AND EAT THE ENTIRE BAG OF GHIRARDELLI CHOCOLATE SQUARES.", "GAHHHHH 2019", "JACK ME OFF????????", "WHY DOESN'T MINECRAFT HAVE CARS AND AIRPLANES AND COPTERS AND ROCKETS", "IF IT WASN'T FOR THE WRITING OF STAN LEE AND THE DRAWINGS OF STEVE DITKO, I MIGHT NOT HAVE EVER DONE NONE OF THOSE RAPES", "*LAST NIGHT'S PLAYTEST:*", "PLAYTEST RESULTS (UPDATED):", "HOPING WE CAN HAVE A CROSS-OVER CINEMATIC MULTIVERSE WHERE TED BUNDY GOES TO THE FYRE DOCUMENTARY AND MURDERS ALL THE INFLUENCERS", "CORSET WAIST TRAINING BUT FOR MY DONG", "DO U WANT TO BEAT ME OFF Y/N", "I CAN SEE VERA FARMIGA AS LYDIA BUT I AM NOT SURE ABOUT JON BERNTHAL AS JOHNNY-BOY", "EXCUSE ME BUT I DIDN'T SAY *DONGLES* I SAID *DONG GOALS*", "BUGGER YE ALL", "ALL THESE COLLAR BOMBS ARE MAKING ME HUNGRY FOR PIZZA", "DO GIRLS HAVE WIENERS OR IS THAT A MILITARY INDUSTRIAL COMPLEX THING", "DRILL A HOLE IN MY HEAD", "WHAT DOES IT ALL MEAN", "BLAT", "BALLISTIC MISSILE THREAT INBOUND TO HAWAII. SEEK IMMEDIATE SHELTER. THIS IS NOT A DRILL. DO I LOOK CUTE IN THIS TOP?", "900 DICKS", "NEED KNOW INFO", "ATMOSPHERE:", "IT'S YOUR SHINEBOX MISTER I DON'T WANNA TELL YOU WHAT TO DO BUT I THINK YOU SHOULD GO GET IT", "COCKS", "DEPRECATION: PYTHON 2.7 WILL REACH THE END OF ITS LIFE ON JANUARY 1ST, 2020. PLEASE UPGRADE YOUR PYTHON AS PYTHON 2.7 WON'T BE MAINTAINED AFTER THAT DATE.", "CALL IT FRIENDO", "BURYING MYSELF IN THE SAND, WAITING FOR LUNCH TO WANDER WITHIN GRABBING DISTANCE", "PLAY WITH MY BALLS", "DOES YOUR OFFICE HAVE THOSE FANCY TOILETS THAT AUTOMATICALLY FLUSH FOR YOU", "I WOULD LIKE SOME ORAL HISTORY PLEASE", "ACCIDENTALLY CAUGHT SOME LOW-HANGING SPEAKER WIRE IN THE VACUUM CLEANER, CAN'T HEAR ANYTHING OUT OF THE RIGHT SIDE NOW", "I GOT STUCK IN A BLOCK BETWEEN LOADED AND UNLOADED CHUNKS", "FORCED TO GIVE HEAD IN THE TOILET", "PUTTING KNITTING NEEDLES IN MY BOTTOM", "I DRINK PISS FROM A GLASS", "I WOULD PUT U UP MY BUTT AND LEAVE U THERE", "JACKOFF PLANET", "ALL WHO DOUBT ME MUST SUCK COCK", "I'LL HAVE THE FAT BOY'S ASSHOLE (IT'S THE ONLY GLUTEN-FREE ITEM ON THE MENU)", "BUSTER CUNT", "WHAT SAY YOU AND ME TRADE HORSES", "BEATING OFF INTO", "PLEASE FINISH JACKING ME OFF BEFORE YOU JACK OFF A TOTALLY UNRELATED DICK (OR SERIES OF DICKS)", "S E X U A L", "T DEUCE COULD YOU REMOVE YOUR GOLD BRACELETS WHEN YOU BEAT OFF ALL I HEAR IS JINGLE JANGLE JINGLE JANGLE", "T DEUCE WHEN IS YOUR GENDER-FLUID STEAMPUNK DUNGEON CRAWLER GOING TO BE RELEASED IT SEEMS LIKE FOREVER SINCE YOUR KICKSTARTER FINISHED", "I LIKE THE PISS STICKS MADE FRESH NOT THE FROZEN ONES", "DO U EVEN KNO HOW 2 JACK ME OFF", "WHICH PET SHOP BOY ARE YOU????????????????????", "I BEAT OFF NIGHTLY", "3", "AH OF COURSE (STROKING LENIN BEARD)", "DO YOU THINK I'M VERY SEXY OR EXTREMELY SEXY", "GONNA MAKE TARBALLS", "T DEUCE WHEN ARE WE GOING TO RECORD SEASON TWO OF OUR LINUX DEVOPS PODCAST \"GAME OF CHOWNS\"", "THE OFFICIAL POSITION OF MY DONG IS THAT IT CANNOT BE SOFT", "T DEUCE A NICE COOL BREEZE IS BLOWING UP MY SKIRT", "PRAY WITH ME", "T DEUCE MAGNETO WAS RIGHT (PEACE WAS NEVER AN OPTION)", "FEELIN' KINDA CRUISY", "JACK ME OFF UNDER THE TABLE", "GO SHIT IN YOUR HAT", "I HAVE POLIO", "ARE YOU HERE TO WARN ME NOT TO BURY MY SON AT THE PET CEMETARY", "I CAN'T JACK OFF UNLESS ARSON", "GRAND PRIX", "SMELLS LIKE AN ADULT BOOKSTORE IN HERE", "WE KEEP RETURNING TO THE SAME THEMES", "QUIET YOU GUYS THE RANGER IS OUTSIDE WITH A FLASHLIGHT", "JACK **ME** OFF", "EXCUSE ME BUT I'M A BISEXUAL MASTERPIECE", "SO WHAT DO WE GET PAID WHEN SOMEBODY HEARTS OUR TWEETS", "STUFF MY BOTTOM WITH LEAVES", "FUCK TOM NOOK", "BEAT ME OFF TONIGHT (LET'S SAY 6PM)", "PISS PEOPLE", "DO YOU WANT TO STAND AROUND AND LOOK BORED WHILE I TRY AND GATHER ENOUGH ENTHUSIASM TO MASTURBATE", "LET'S MAKE THE STALL A PLACE OF SILENT REFLECTION FROM NOW ON", "YOU MIGHT SAY I STRUGGLE UNDER LOW-LIGHT CONDITIONS", "WHO WANTS TO CHOKE ON SOME UNSPECIFIED OBJECT", "DO ALL GIRLS LIKE HAVING THEIR DICKS SUCKED OR WAS I TRICKED AGAIN", "`FROM PPRINT IMPORT PPRINT AS PRINT`", "TELL ME I'M BIG", "PRAY WITH ME (DOWN HERE, ON YOUR KNEES)", "PLEASE SHOOT MY BRAIN", "YOU HAVE RUINED THE QUEEN'S SURPRISE BIRTHDAY, YOU FOOL", "ARE YOU READY 2 ROCK", "WHAT ORDER SHOULD I WATCH BLACK MIRROR IN???", "DO U WANT 2 DO THINGS 2 ME", "OH GOD IT'S EATING ME", "FOR INSTANCE", "FLOP", "HAULGHALHGLUAHLG I AM PANTS", "PRINTING AN 24X18 PICTURE OF MYSELF, FRAMING IT, SIGNING IT WITH A SILVER PEN, WRAPPING IT, MERRY CHRISTMAS", "COCKS", "REMIX ME", "A VASE ???????????", "ACKNOWLEDGE MY RIGHT TO EXIST", "PUNCH", "I LITERALLY WANTED TO SEE WHAT I LOOKED LIKE SAD", "POUND ME INTO THE SAND", "KICKSTARTER TO PUT A UI ON THE BONEQUEST GAME???????? $900,000,000??????????????", "WE'RE GOING ON AN ADVENTURE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!", "SOME AMOUNT OF PUBLIC MASTURBATION IS TOLERABLE YES OR NO", "NO ONE SHOULD USE THE BODY OF AN 05:04", "ARE ALL COWBOYS GAY OR JUST THE ONES I SEE IN MOVIES, ON TV, RIDING HORSES, MENDING FENCES", "HAVE WE TRIED ROLLING THE BOULDERS OVER THE HOMELESS PEOPLE", "WANT TO WATCH ME PISS ON A MOP Y/N", "WHY NOT JUST POP IT IN YOUR MOUTH FOR A TEST DRIVE, TO SEE HOW YOU LIKE IT", "TIME TO CELEBRATE WITH FROSTY CHOCOLATE HANDJOBS^H^H^H^H^H^H^H^HMILKSHAKES", "ARE WE NOT HORSES", "DON'T MAKE ME THINK", "IN MY DEFENSE I WAS TRYING TO FUCK THE BONG", "CAN WE PEEK IN THE BOX TO SEE IF THE KITTY IS OKAY", "SISTERS RESIST", "SUCK IT AND PUNCH IT", "IT'S LIKE COCAINE FOR THE NOSE", "I WANT TO BE A WOMAN", "I CAN'T WAIT TO PAINT MINATURES AND SUCK DICK", "BRING ME THE JIZZ MONKEY", "WHAT KIND OF MAN GETS SO DRUNK IN LAS VEGAS THAT HE WAKES UP WITH A HANGOVER??? I WOULD SAY A RUGGED, HANDSOME MAN WITH A BIG DICK", "THE GOOD STUFF", "KEEP YOUR EYE ON MY BALLS", "MOM SAYS YOU HAVE TO BEAT ME OFF", "WHATCHA GOT DOWN THERE", "TELL ME ABOUT YOUR DREAMS", "ARE WE ALL GOD'S CHILDREN", "A MILD CASE OF THE DUH", "CHIRP", "DON'T LET HIM SLEEP ON HIS BACK", "LITERALLY SLOBBERING OVER THE KNOB", "OH MERCY", "MAYBE YOU COULD COME DOWN AND DE-RUST MY TABLE SAW SOMETIME HONEY", "AM I BEATOFF MATERIAL", "DO U WANT TO SEE NUDE PIX OF ME DOING NUDE THINGS", "WORK THE PROGRAM (THE PROGRAM IS MY DICK/BALLS COMBO)", "PISS ON ME PLEASE", "I AM THE BEATOFF QUEEN", "WHY DID THE MARINES IN ALIENS ASK IF IT WAS \"ANOTHER BUG HUNT\" HAVE THEY DEALT WITH BUGS BEFORE", "SITTING IN THE DARK, DARING YOU TO BEAT ME OFF", "SUCK THEM ALL OFF", "I'M A SMALL BASH SCRIPT", "SURE IT FEELS GOOD TO SLEEP IN AND DRINK A FRESHLY-GROUND CUP OF COFFEE BUT HAVE YOU TRIED COCKSUCKING", "STAND ON MY CHEST AS I DROWN IN A PUDDLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!", "WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE LIKE ME", "MAYBE I JUST REALLY LIKE CLAMPING THINGS", "LOBBY", "PINCHING MY WIENER UNTIL I CRY OUT", "STANDING ON YOU LIKE A HOSE", "FUCK YEAH", "PUMP UP THE VOLUME", "URRRRK CHEST PAINS", "ARE YOU REALLY A FEMALE BODY INSPECTOR", "LOVE 2 SHELTER IN PLACE", "PLEASE SUCK IT", "T DEUCE DO YOU THINK THIS WOULD BE A GOOD FIREARM FOR A FIRST-TIME OWNER", "WHO WILL GO TO THE FATHER/DAUGHTER DANCE WITH ME", "FILLING MY TOP HAT WITH PISS", "DON'T JACK ME OFF YET I'M STILL ON THE CLOCK", "MY BOTTOM SURE CAN HOLD A LOT OF POO", "?", "T SPIGOT HEAR ME OUT I'M JUST SAYIN' JUST SPITBALLIN'", "GONNA NEED A BOOSTER SEAT FOR THIS GLORY HOLE", "PISS JUG / HGLUAHLGUHAGLUG", "PISS TESTING RESULTS: ACTUAL URINE", "I'M SUCKIN' IT", "WOW, THE OLDEN DAYS SURE DID SUCK", "SOMEBODY HAS STUFFED DOGSHIT INTO THE RABBIT HOLE", "BEATING OFF INTO", "HEY DO YOU NEED ANY EXTRA POND SNAILS", "IS THAT A BAGUETTE IN YOUR PANTS OR ARE YOU HAPPY TO SEE ME", "WOULD SIR CARE FOR TEA IN THE VIVARIUM", "JUST CRAPPED OUT A PERFECT ROUND RIPE TOMATO", "HEY", "WHO WANTSPANCAKES", "DROWN ME", ":NOTES: ALL DRESSED UP", "ARE WE ALL HERE", "FROGS LIKE FROG FOOD", "?????? ??????", "NEVER FORGET FLIPPER BABY DEUCE (AS SEEN IN THE COMIC CHAT ABOUT BOX)", "PLEASE PISS ON ME", "COCKS", "FARTS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!", "THE HAMBURGER MENU IS MAKING ME HUNGRY", "T DEUCE IF YOUR MOUTH WAS A CUNT I\u2019D FUCK IT", "WELP ANYWAY LET'S GO OUT IN THE MIDDLE OF THE WOODS TOGETHER (NO REASON)", "DO WIENERDOGS EVEN HAVE WIENERS", "CAN'T GET PAST THE NADS IN MONADS", "A BUTTHOLE OF MY OWN", "BEATING OFF IN THE HOLODECK (IT'S NOT EVEN ON, IT'S JUST A YELLOW GRID)", "REALLY LEAN IN", "THAT\u2019S SO HOT IMAGINE MA AND PA KETTLE TOTALLY DOIN\u2019 IT", "CAN'T WE SEND THE HOMELESS PEOPLE BACK IN TIME", "GHOSTFACE KILLAH TEACHES BREAD FUNDAMENTALS:", "NUGGGGGGGGH APPLESAUCE", "BWAHAHAHAHAHA FART ESCAPES", "TAKE ME OUT TO THE BALL GAME????", "BREAD AND BUTTER,TOAST AND JAM", "ARE YOU SURE", "

SEXUAL

", "ONE CAN OF SPIDERS A DAY IS ALL WE ASK", "AN ARC OF URINE", "? (DUMB GUY VOICE) I SHOULD NOT BE ABLE TO FLY", "PLEASE DO THE NEEDFUL", "THREATENING, HATEFUL, VIOLENT, PORNOGRAPHIC, SEXUAL, INCITING OF VIOLENCE", "MOOF!!!!!!!!! I\u2019M CLARIS THE BI-CURIOUS DOGCOW AND I WANT TO LEARN ABOUT YOUR GENTIALS", "WE HAVE TO **PICK UP ALL THE LITTER** AT **THE BEACH**", "WELL SHE WAS DRESSED LIKE A SLUT", "WHO WANTS CAKE", "AN ABSOLUTE MESS OF A TV SHOW, WITH NO REAL DRAMATIC FORCE OR ANY SENSE OF PACING", "T DEUCE I THOUGHT WE WERE PLAYING D&D OVER ZOOM YET YOU HAVE NOT STARTED THE MEETING???", "PUNT ME", "ATDT", "HAVE YOU TRIED EATING 9 HAMBURGERS", "LET'S GO TO 7-11 FOR CHOCO-TACOS AND SLURPEES AND 25 CENT COMIC BOOKS (MARVEL NOT DC)", "GRAPES", "I MAKE QUIET TIMEWITH GOD A PRIORITY", "I'M A SLOPPY PISS PIG WHO IS SECRETLY COSPLAYING AS A TOILET PIG", ":BURRITO:", "PLEASE DON'T FUCK THE LETTUCE OR THE CABBAGE", "SPIGOT THE BEAR / ROAMS EVERYWHERE / HE'S YOUR FRIEND / MY FRIEND / SPIGOT THE BEAR", "CAKESANDCANDYANDPIESANDWHAT HAVE YOU", "THE PISS CHANNEL", "PEE ON ME SOME", "T DEUCE I WAS HANGING AROUND OUTSIDE DURING A THUNDERSTORM AND WAS ATTACKED BY SKELETONS ON HORSEBACK", "ZERO-FACTOR AUTHENTICATION IS WHERE I SNEAK INTO YOUR HOUSE AND BEAT OFF INTO YOUR PANTIES", "INJECTING HORSEY SAUCE INTO MY DICK", "PISS TESTING IN PROGRESS PLEASE STAND BACK REPEAT PLEASE STAND BACK", "BEAT ME UP THEN BEAT ME OFF", "11111111111111111111111", "T R A N N YV I S I O N", "I THOUGHT WE AGREED THE GAMING PC WOULD NOT BE USED FOR BEATING OFF", "WE DON'T EVEN NEED EACH OTHER WE HAVE HUNDREDS OF HOURS OF TRANSCRIPTS", "TOOT TOOT", "ROSES ARE RED / MY LOVE", "CAN'T YOU BEAT OFF NORMALLY", "DO THESE FATPANTS MAKE ME LOOK FAT (BRIEF FASHION SHOW ENSUES)", "FARTS, FAT", "DOMESTIC TERRORISM AT THE US CAPITOL THREATENED DEMOCRACY", "DO YOU STILL FEEL LIKE STORMING THE CAPITOL LATER", "SUCKED A DICK", "YES AS A MATTER OF FACT I DID BRING ENOUGH DICK FOR THE WHOLE CLASS", "THE DICKLICKER FACTORY CALLED!!!!!!!!!!", "BLACK BROWN RED ORANGE YELLOW GREEN BLUE VIOLET GREY WHITE", "I WANT TO BE LOVED BWAHHHH", "MAKE SURE YOU COUNT HOW MANY COWS YOU SEE, I WANT A FULL REPORT", "WHAT THE HELL IS A HARDCOPY PRINTOUT WHAT KIND OF SCI-FI IS THIS", ":CUP_WITH_STRAW: SIPPING THE PISS", "SOMETHING IS VERY WRONG WITH MY BEATOFF TECHNIQUE", "WE SHALL NEVER SURRENDER", "CHRIST CRAPS IN MY HAND", "WHAT'S THE MOST YOU'VE EVER LOST IN A COIN TOSS", "THE POO BUCKET IS FULL", "CHECK IT OUT MY BONER IS BECOMING SELF-AWARE (MAKING YOU LOOK)", "I WILL NEVER STOP USING THE MASTER BRANCH", "I'M A CHEETAH GIRL", "I NEED A SECOND MONITOR SO I CAN JUST HAVE THIS LADY WITH ME AT ALL TIMES", "RIP OFF MY HEAD, SHIT DOWN MY NECK BUT THEN WHEN YOU ARE DONE PLEASE REPLACE MY HEAD", "WOULD SIR CARE TO WATCH ME BEAT OFF ON WEB CAM", "OKAY BUT I\u2019M NEW AT THIS AND I\u2019VE NEVER DONE THIS BEFORE", "PLEASE SUCK IT", "I NEED A HUG", "T DEUCE WHEN THE LARGE ALIEN THREW CAPTAIN KIRK ONTO THE BED I GOT THE HARDEST BONER I\u2019VE EVER GOTTEN AM I GAY", "AN OVERWORKED MOM OR A LESBIAN OF COLOR", "T DEUCE ARE YOU READY FOR WHITE BOY SUMMER", "FUCK NOSTALGIA, THE PAST IS GAY", "MOOOOOOOOOOOO", "A SERIES OF DISGUSTING FARTS FILLED THE ROOM", "HOW LONG IS A PIECE OF STRING (TIED AROUND MY WIENER WITH THE OTHER END TIED TO THE DOOR KNOB )", "HELP I THINK MY CAMERA IS BROKEN EVERY PICTURE I TAKE MAKES ME LOOK DOPEY AND MIDDLE-AGED", "HI I'M AN 850 LINE FUNCTION THAT DOES A LOT OF THINGS BUT NONE OF THEM WELL", ":WAVE: JERK OFF :SWEAT_DROPS::SWEAT_DROPS::SWEAT_DROPS: WITH RANDOM TEENS - BEST WEBCAMCHAT EVER :HEART_EYES:!", "BUTTER ME UP", "MY WIFE AND I NOTICED YOU FROM ACROSS THE BAR", "PERVERTS AND INVERTS", "THE BONERS ARE ON FIRE", "ANYWAY: WATCH ME BEAT OFF ON CAM", "MY BALLS ARE BURNING", "CHICKEN COX", "GYPSY PISS IS BY FAR THE WORST", "I HAVE SEENDEUCE'S MANCUNT", "WHAT ABOUT THAT DOORBELL", "GOD LOVES SWIFT JUSTICEDONE TO UNLICKED DICKS", "ISRAEL IS COMMITTING GENOCIDE", "PLEASE FART ON ME", "I\u2019M TRY-SEXUAL!!!!!! BECAUSE I\u2019M A CONVICTED PEDOPHILE", "WHO LIKES BONERS ????????????", "IS THIS CHURCH", "I HAVE BEEN INFORMED THAT \"YOU ARE IN ME\"", "NOW IS A GOOD TIME TO REVISIT MY NUTS AND BALLS", "NUTS FOR BREAKFAST", "DICKS (AND I WANT THEM NOW)", "T DEUCE HOW ABOUT WE RE-WATCH CHERNOBYL AND DON\u2019T BEAT EACH OTHER OFF DURING THE SHOW", "CAN\u2019T PISS UNLESS YOU WATCH", "THE OFFICIAL POSITION OF MY DONG IS THAT IT CANNOT BE SOFT", "YOU ARE ALL ARE PROBABLY ASLEEP", "CAN'T WE GO BACK TO THE WAY THINGS WEREWHEN GAYS WERE GROSSAND TOM CRUISE PLAYING VOLLEYBALL IN TOP GUNWAS TOTALLY HETEROAND SEATBELTS WERE FOR PUSSIESAND MICHAEL KEATON WAS BATMAN AND AOL CDROMSAND JAPANAMANGAMANIAGOD BLESS AMERICA GOOD NIGHT", "FORCING THINGS (SPOONS,ETC.) UP ME", "T DEUCE I LICK DICK FOR THE CIA AND THE KGB", "HOW LONG DO I HAVE TO DO THIS", "OUR TRUE ENEMY", "JACK ME OFF", "I AM ELVRO THE ELF", "ARE YOU DRINKING ENOUGH PISS", "ARE BOTH OF YOUR DADS GAY OR JUST THE ONE", ":HIBISCUS: :SUNFLOWER: :TULIP: SUMMER DIARRHEA :CHERRY_BLOSSOM: :BLOSSOM: :BOUQUET:", "AS SOMEONE WHO HAS USED THE WEB SINCE 2007,", "HOW LUCKY I AM TO GROW OLD WITH MY FRIENDS", "I'M JUST SAYING THAT YOU HAVE A HABIT OF FEEDING ANIMALS THINGS THAT THEY ARE NOT SUPPOSED TO EAT", "WORTH CONSIDERING: MY WIENER", "MORE TOAST PLEASE", "I SAT ON A BENCH OUTSIDE AND NOW MY BOTTOM IS WET", "SMALL DICKS ARE SMALL", "VAMPYRE FICTION CAN ONLY GROW AND BE GREAT THROUGH THE STRENGTH OF DIVERSITY", "OKAY, FROM THE TOP, THIS TIME I\u2019LL LISTEN AND TAKE NOTES: HOW DOES ONE GO ABOUT POOING", "WANT TO DIE PLEASE", "DID LINDA LOVELACE INVENT ADA", "DO YOU HAVE ANY OTHER FLAVORS THAN DIRTPIPE", "I'D FUCK ME", "OR AS I LIKE TO CALL IT, \"SUNDAY\"", "HOW CAN YOU NOT LOVE JOHN MULANEY AS A CARTOON PIG", "I WILL NOT GO QUIETLY INTO MY OWN BUTTHOLE", "SERIOUSLY PLEASE HELP ME POO", "T DEUCE GUESS WHAT CAME OUT OF MY BOTTOM THIS MORNING????????!?", "PISS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!", "SHY AWAY FROM MY BANANA-SHAPED (AND BANANA-COLORED) BONER", "I SHAN\u2019T BE JACKED OFF", ":NOTES: KISS ME AND SMILE FOR ME", "I HAVE QUESTIONS ABOUT BISEXUAL SUPERMAN", "_FEW CLOUDS_ (RAIN MAN VOICE)", "I SHIT THINGS", "I'M AN AUTIST", "T DEUCE I\u2019M OFFICIALLY OUT OF HAPPY PILLS", "OW OW OW OW OW OW OW OW OW OW AND THAT'S ALL OF MY FINGERS", "WHAT COLOR IS THE SKY IN YOUR WORLD", "LET\u2019S BOTH MASTURBATE TO JIMMY GARAPPOLO\u2019S FACE", "15 MINUTES LATE WITH STARBUCKS", "A SMALL SERIES OF FARTS PFFT PFFT PFT PFT PTPTPT PFT", "T SPIGOT DO YOU THINK WE SHOULD LEAVE EARLY FOR OUTSIDE LANDS", "WHAT SHALL I DO WITH JESUS WHICH IS CALLED CHRIST", "WHAT AM I GOING TO REPLACE THE KYLE TRIAL WITH", "I WAS THIS MANY DAYS OLD WHEN I GOT BONKED ON THE HEAD AND STUFFED INTO A CRAWLSPACE", "WELP ANOTHER SUNDAY WHERE I BUY FRESH BAKED BREAD FROM THE FARMER\u2019S MARKET AND EAT HALF THE LOAF ON THE DRIVE HOME", "KEEP \u2019EM COMING (STAMPS OUT CIGAR BUT IT WAS NEVER LIT) (LIGHTS STAMPED OUT CIGAR)", "PLEASE CLIMBINTO MY MOUTH", "I\u2019M A LOVELY DAY", "WHAT AN AMAZING SERIES OF JACKOFFS", "SHOULD I TAKE MY SHIRT OFF NOW", "WHO WILL HEAR MY ORAL ARGUMENTS", "AM I HARD", "T DEUCE I REGRET TO INFORM YOU THAT I MAY HAVE EATEN TOO MUCH CHINESE FOOD", ":LIPS: :LIPSTICK:", "WHO AMI", "THE LORDJESUS CHRISTHIMSELF", "U GOT A HARD-ON MISTER GRINCH", "PRETTY SURE COLONEL KURTZ ISN\u2019T UP THE RIVER AND WE SHOULD ALL JUST GO HOME", "SWEATPANTS", "WHAT TIME DOES YOUR PIER 31 MAGIC SHOW START", "WELL MAYBE JUST DON\u2019T VISIT WEBSITES THAT USE COOKIES THEN", "MY >>HEART<< IS >>FULL<<", "CHOKE ME RIGHT UP UNTIL I\u2019M ABOUT TO JIZZ THEN PUNCH ME IN THE FACE", "SEARCHING MY POCKETS FOR CANDY", ":SAILBOAT:", "ANYWAY: DO YOU WANT TO SEE MY COCK", "HAVE YOU GOT AN ERECTION, BOY ?????", "I'M STARTING TO THINK THE PISS OLYMPICS ISN'T A REAL THING", "I JUST NEED TO KNOW HOW MANY COWBOYS AND WHAT THEY ARE DOING", "DICKS!!!!!!!!!!!!", "T SPIGOT HOW MANY TIMES A DAY ON AVERAGE DO YOU THINK ABOUT THAT VERSACE SHIRT FROM _THE COUNSELOR_ (FOR ME IT'S ABOUT EVERY 5-10 SECONDS)", "AN UNKNOWN, UNQUANTIFIABLE AMOUNT OF JACKING OFF", "FOR GOD AND COUNTRY", "MILK MILK", "SO, SO TIRED", "THE JOY OF TYPING NONSENSE AND COMING BACK TO FIND MORE NONSENSE", "ARE DOMAIN NAMES NFTS", "I CAN'T EVEN SUCK DICK STRAIGHT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!", "FINE, I WILL PERSONALLY BEAT MYSELF OFF", "I FELL ASLEEP WITH MY DICK IN A HOT POCKET ONLY TO WAKE UP TO A LUKEWARM POCKET", "ONLY GOD CAN JUDGE ME", "IF I SUBSTITUTE PISS FOR WATER IN A CAKE RECIPE DOES THAT MAKE IT A PISS CAKE", "WHEREUPON I EAT THE ENTIRE TIN OF ALTOIDS AND VOMIT FOAM FOR 30 MINUTES", "I HAVE ATTACHED A JPEG OF MY ENTIRE BASKET (DICK AND BALLS COMBO). PLEASE LET ME KNOW IF THEY WOULD BE A GOOD FIT FOR YOU.", "JUST THE SMALLEST DAB OF URINE BEHIND MY EAR", "PLEASE SUCK IT", "RUB IT", "JUST TOOK A HUGE SHIT AND I FEEL BETTER NOW", "KNOCK KNOCK HI I NEED TO RESET YOUR TOILET CAM IT'S ON THE FRITZ JUST LET ME GET BY HERE THANKS", "ARE YOU GUYS READY FOR THE UPCOMING VIBE SWITCH", "T DEUCE WE NEED ANOTHER BIG FLOOD OR SOMETHING", "I AM ALL THE BIG DUMB ENERGY YOU NEED", "EVERYBODY HOLD HANDS AND DRINK AS MUCH AS YOU CAN AND WALK INTO THE SEA UNTIL YOU GET TIRED", "WHERE _N_ IS THE NUMBER OF HARD PLASTIC DICKS IN MY MOUTH", "WHY IS EVERYTHING SO", "COVID TEST NEGATIVE", "THERE IS NO RED PILL YOU'RE JUST A HUGE HUGE ASSHOLE", "I SURE DO LOVE TO SOAP UP MY GENITALS", "I'M A BEAUTIFUL BUTTERFLY", "EVERY TIME I SEE THE PHRASE \u201cDOW TUMBLES\u201d I THINK \u201cUPSKIRT\u201d", "WHERE'S WALLACE AT", "AND NOW I MUST TURN MY BACK ON YOU", "I PROMISE THAT IF YOU COOK ME I WILL PLUMP", "IT'S THE YEAR OF THE LINUX DESKTOP AGAIN!!!!!!", "SPEEDRUNNING BETWEEN ALL THE COCKS", "I AM WATCHING THE BIRTH OF THE UNIVERSE, THE DEATH OF OUR SUN AND SPORTS", "T DEUCE I'M FULL OF LUNCH", "900 DICKS", "FIGHT THE POWER (BLOWJOB NOISES)", "PUNCH THINGS", "THE WEB IS A HORRIBLE INHOSPITABLE PLACE", "QQ: WHO PUT `ROYAL BEATOFF SESSION` ON MY CALENDAR AND ALSO WHAT DOES THAT MEAN", "`KING ROYAL BEATOFF SESSION`", "PANTS AND SPIGOT AND DEUCE RUNNING IN AND OUT OF WALGREENS AFTER FILLING GARBAGE BAGS WITH APLETS AND COTLETS AS SECURITY LOOKS ON", "CAN I CRASH ON YOUR BALLS FOR THE NIGHT", "I AM A SIMPLE MAN", "WE ALSO HAVE REMOVED THE SOUND OF CHILDREN SCREAMING AS THE GUNMAN ENTERS THE CLASSROOM. WE CONSIDER THIS TOO GRAPHIC.", "NORMALLY I WOULDN'T GO OUT INTO THE WOODS AND SHOVE MY HAND INTO HOLES I FIND BUT", "HOW WAS CHURCH, HONEY", "GETTING ALL THE FARTS OUT NOW BEFORE MY NEXT ZOOM MEETING", "I HAVE BOOBS UNDER THIS SWEATER", "RUGGED, SEXY MARLBORO MEN SUCH AS MYSELF", "GAY", "YOU ARE ALL MY CHILDREN NOW", "WATCH ME SUCK IT", "WITH VANGELIS DEAD WHO WILL MAKE THE SOUNDTRACK FOR EITHER OF THE COMPETING BONEQUEST DOCUMENTARIES????????????", "24 YEARS OF DUMB NONSENSE", "WATCH ME BEAT OFF", "SUCK AND FUCK CLUB: NEXT RIGHT", "I'M A TRAP", "T DEUCE THERE'S A RESCUE CD-ROM CALLED \u201cPARTITION MAGIC\u201d AND CHRISPBS REFERS TO IT IN SHORTHAND AS \u201cPMAGIC\u201d WHICH I CHOOSE TO UNFURL IN MY BRAIN AS \u201cPUSSY MAGIC\u201d", "BIG ONES", "OW I BIT MY TONGUE", "T DEUCE WE NEED FLIGHTS TO BUENOS AIRES TONIGHT, BRING YOUR HANDGUN AND YOUR CAT (IN A CRATE)", "WATCH ME SUCK THIS DICK", "WHO WANTS PANCAKES ???", "I AM GUNNERY SERGEANT HARTMAN YOUR SENIOR DRILL INSTRUCTOR", "PLEASE DO THE NEEDFUL", "CAN I JOIN YOUR CLUB (THE BIG WANG GANG)", "WATCH TILL END", "JACK ME OFF", "WHAT HAVE WE DONE", "SING A SONG OF SUCKING IT", "YUMMY YUMMY HAKGHAO87TI P-HJNPK;,,,,,,", "OH MY GOD THERE'S A DICK LITERALLY 100 METERS AWAY", "AND SO I WAKE IN THE MORNING AND I STEP OUTSIDE", "DUHHHHHH DROOLING", "SHALL WE HAVE A CIVIL WAR", "THIS PLASTIC PRISON CANNOT HOLD ME FOREVER CHARLES", "DOWN WE GO", "PFFT PFFFFFFT", "GLORP DUH YOU WERE TOTALLY RIGHT ABOUT THE PRICK-TASTING FACTORY", "ZZZ SNORK WHAT'S ALL THIS ABOUT DICKS", "PRAYER WARRIORS DESPERATELY NEEDED AGAIN", "...OR WOULD THAT BE DIRTY POOL", "HAVE YOUR PHOTO TAKEN WITHA STORMTROOPER FOR $3.00", "EXCUSE ME MISS BUT I HAVE A PAYLOAD FOR YOU", "WAIT WAIT", "ARE YOU FROM THE FUTURE", "FEELIN' GRABBY", "RESET MY BONER TO ITS INITIAL STATE (FLOPPY, STUPID)", "MAYBE I SHOULD BARF ON MY OWN COCK FOR A CHANGE", "ALPHA MALES EAT WINGS AT HOOTERS", "OH NO I BROKE MY DANGER HIPTOP SIDEKICK", "ARE YOU IN A WIKIHOLE", "AM I A LIGHT THAT TRAVELS INTO SPACE [Y/N]", "I SUCK DICK IN THE BATHROOM", "UNVAXXED DICKS????????????? WELL MAYBE IN A PINCH DURING WINTER OR SOMETHING", "MMM AFTERNOON COFFEE", "HOLD MY HAND WHILE I POO", "I HAVE EATEN THE ENTIRE LOAF???????? ARE YOU SURE????????????", "T SPIGOT WEEDS HAVE GROWN IN MY TROUSERS", "PASS THE HOOKA", "COCKSUCKER", "YEAH I'D TITTYFUCK A 76-YEAR-OLD", "WATCH ME PISS", "PLEASE PUSH YOUR PENIS / IN AN OLD MAN'S HAT", "T DEUCE CAN I USE CHAT GPT TO WRITE A BONEQUEST NOVEL (OBVIOUSLY VOLUME 1 OF MANY!!!!!!!!)", "LOL BONEQUEST.SUBSTACK.COM AM SERIOUS WRITER PERSON NOW", "DO YOU KNOW ABOUT PISS CHRIST", "I NEED TO POOP BUT I ALSO WANT A HUG: HELP ME COMBINE THESE WANTS, THESE NEEDS, INTO A SINGLE ACT", "HUGLAUHLGUAHLG", "IDEA: POPEYE BUT HIS SPINACH IS HEROIN AND HE JUST FALLS ASLEEP", "CHOKE IT ON", "CAN WE USE AI TO GENERATE NEW BRISCOE/CURTIS EPISODES OF LAW & ORDER", "IS IT WRONG TO BEAT OFF WHILE WATCHING NICOLAS WINDING REFN'S DRIVE HE SAID HTML-LY", "WHO WANTS A ROASTED SUCCULENT THAT I'M SURE IS NOT POISONOUS", "T SPIGOT SPOILER ALERT FOR DAHMER ON NETFLIX:", "I CAN'T GET UP, MY BONER FELL ASLEEP IN MY LAP", "ANYWAY: TALK ME OFF", "SPLASH MOUNTAIN WILL BECOME DEUCE'S SHITS, BASED ON THE ANIMATED FILM \u201cTHE PRINCESS AND THE HOLLOW LOG STUFFED WITH POO BECAUSE THERE WAS NO WHERE ELSE TO PUT IT,\u201d WHICH FEATURED THE COMPANY'S FIRST BLACK PRINCESS.", "LEAVES OF THREE / SUCK A DICK", "SLAP WHAP", "DROWN ME IN THE DROWNING BUCKET", "UP AGAINST THE WALL", "LADYBUG LADYBUG LICK ON A DICK", "YOU ALWAYS FEEL GOOD AFTER TAKING A SHOWER, WHY DON'T YOU DO IT MORE OFTEN", "HERE WE GO! MEN INTO POSITION QUICKLY! BGALGHLBAGHLAG", "T DEUCE WILL SIR BE PAYING $100/MO TO (BROW FURROW) TWEET YOUR SHITS", "DESPERATE FOR ATTENTION I ATTEMPT TO BLOW MYSELF AND END UP ROLLING DOWNHILL", "WHAT KIND OF MAN BARFS ON HIS OWN COCK", "BALL-SQUEEZING SEXUAL SADISTS", "HEY EVERYBODY LOOK WHAT'S IN MY TROUSERS:", "FORCE ME TO WAKE UP", "HOW DID YOU GUYS DO DURING NO-FART FEBRUARY", "I'M A FARTBAG ON THE LOOSE", "WHERE DO YOU STAND ON THE POPE", "CHOP OFF MY DICK AND CHUCK IT OUT THE HOTEL WINDOW", "TAKING CLASSES AT THE LOCAL QUEER COLLEGE", "MAKE ME WAKE UP", "AND NOW TO PUNCH MYSELF IN THE COCK AND STUFF MYSELF IN THE DUMBWAITER", "HLAGHUALGHLAGAGAG", "I DON'T CARE TO CLICK ON THINGS", ":PIG2:", "AMPLE PARKING IN THE REAR", "LAG", "DON'T MAKE ME COME DOWN THERE (AND SUCK ALL THE DICKS DOWN THERE)", "SO UH", "HAVE YOU INSTALLED YOUR DEBUG NUB", "GETTING WAY TOO OLD TO BE HOLDING IN MY URINE WHEN LADIES WALK BY", "IF WE'RE ALL SETTLED I CAN BEGIN THE CUM COUNTDOWN", "COCK, BARFED ON", "OKAY I NEED EVERYBODY TO PRAY FOR ME", "EATING GRUBS FROM A FALLEN LOG", "DICKS", "AHEM", "I WOULD LIKE ONE (1) FART PLEASE", "HEY GUYS WHEN ARE WE GOING TO GO TO BIGASSMESSAGE.COM/BEAC6", "MY BUCKET LIST", "WARNING: THIS TEST IS VERY BANDWIDTH INTENSIVE.", "IS THIS ALL THERE IS", "THE RULE IS NOW THIS:", "MAYBE INSTEAD OF APRIL FOOL'S DAY WE CAN CELEBRATE APRIL POOLS DAY WHERE WE GET A KIDDY POOL AND SPLASH PISS AT EACH OTHER", "LET'S INVENT MINECRAFT AND THEN EAT JELLYBEANS UNTIL WE ARE SICK", "BUT ALSO THE PISS IS NOT CLEAR (CLOUDY)", "PEEP PEEP PEEP PEEP I'M A SONGBIRD", "SHOULD WE PUNCH COPS OR KISS THEM", "SHOW ME CHEWBACCA'S DICK", "WE DIDN'T KNOW HOW TO GET HARD UNTIL THE 1980S", "IF I SAY, \"I NEED TO VISIT THE PISS ROOM\" YOU KNOW WHAT'S GOING ON", "INTERNET DETECTIVE AGENCY AT YOUR SERVICE MA'AM", "ADVENTURES IN COCKSUCKING!!!!!!!", "IS THIS THE END OF DEUCE'S SHITS", "WHO WANTS PANCAKES", "PEOPLE ON THE SIDEWALK LOOKING UP", "ONCE I ATE AN ORC'S BABY", "GAY", "WHAT A GREAT DAY TO ACCEPT NAKED JPEGS FROM ME VIA EMAIL", "FIRST I CHECK FOR THE ADAM'S APPLE THEN I DO THE DOWNSTAIRS CHECKS AND IF THOSE PASS WE'RE GOOD TO GO", "I TAUGHT YOU ALCHEMY", "LET'S ALL PAUSE TO TAKE A SHIT ON THE YELLOW ROSE OF TEXAS", "CONDOM WRAPPERS, EMPTY BEER CANS, CIGARETTE BUTTS, A WILD BUNNY EATING BIRDSEED", "ANOTHER WORLD", "WE COULD BE WIENER BUDDIES", "THE PANTS MANAGEMENT BLOG", "I AM CHECKING THE PYTHON/TK FAQ BUT I SEE NOTHING ABOUT YOUR ARM BEING ALL THE WAY UP THERE", "T DEUCE I HAVEN'T LEFT THE HOUSE ALL WEEK DO I WIN A PRIZE (OR GET A MEDAL OR SOMETHING)", "WHY CAN'T WE QUIT OUR JOBS", "MAYBE JUST PUT ME IN A SACK AND DROWN ME IN THE RIVER", "AND THEN SUDDENLY 25 YEARS HAD PASSED", "GOD BLESS THIS MESS (ON MY FACE)", "WE'RE GONNA SUCKER PUNCH SO MANY TERFS", "NO HIPPIE CHICKS", "WHAT ABOUT THE PORNO VERSION", "BA-GURRRK HEAD CHOPPED OFF :CHICKEN: :AXE:", "DO YOU EVER THINK ABOUT THAT TIME IN THE TOILET", "MULTIPLE REDUNDANT BREADSTICKS", "NORMALIZE FARTING OVER ZOOM", "SHAKE / SHAKE SHAKE IT LIKE A RATTLESNAKE BOOM BOOM BEATING OFF IN A ZOOM", "ACCUSED OF BEATING OFF IN VALLEJO WHEN I WAS ACTUALLY BEATING OFF IN WALNUT CREEK", "ZZZ ZZZ ZZZZZ Z ZZZ ZZZZZ ZZZ ZZ ZZ ZZ ZZZZZ Z ZZZ ZZZZ ZZZ", "LISTEN UP", "BANANA SEATS AND SISSY BARS", "WHAT EVER HAPPENED TO THOSE PICTURES OF SPIDER-MAN YOU WERE GONNA GET ME", "DO YOU THINK A.I. CAN ANALYZE MY PENIS IN REAL TIME", "T SPIGOT HAVE YOU PUBLISHED ANY ADDITIONAL RESEARCH AROUND WHAT OTHER HOSTESS PRODUCTS CAN BE FROZEN AND WHETHER THEY TASTE BETTER", "WHO AMONG US WILL REACH INTO MY SHORTS AND GIVE MY NUTS A GOOD HONKING", "DO YOU GUYS NEED ANYTHING FROM WALMART", "TO OPT OUT OF THE SIMULATION, PRESS ONE", "DO YOU THINK LIFE IS JUST A SUM OF OUR CHOICES", "HAVING TWO DRINKS AND TWO SLICES OF PIZZA AND THEN GETTING IN BED", "THE LORD LIVES AT 0,0", "ARE YOU GOING TO THE PARTY TONIGHT", "BARF ON MY COCK NOT ONCE NOT TWICE BUT SOME UNSPECIFIED NUMBER OF BARFS", "TOILET TOILET TOILET TOILET TOILET TOILET TOILET TOILET TOILET TOILET TOILET TOILET TOILET TOILET TOILET TOILET TOILET TOILET TOILET TOILET TOILET TOILET TOILET TOILET TOILET TOILET TOILET TOILET TOILET TOILET TOILET TOILET", "```-BASH: UNZUP: COMMAND NOT FOUND```", "DOWN THE HATCH GLUG GLUG GLUG OH LORD PISS TASTES TERRIBLE GLUG GLUG GLUG", "CROWDFUND MY BONER", "BLAST OFF TO ADVENTURE WITH YOUR FAVORITE BONEQUEST CHARACTERS AS THEY EXPLORE THE GALAXY AND FIGHT CRIME TOGETHER TODAY AT 4PM", "SOMETHING SPECIAL FOR BONEQUEST 9000", "ROLL FOR YOUR GOBLIN COCK SAVE THROW", "A COCKSUCKER'S LAMENT", "HEY GUYS I GOT AN INTERNSHIP AT THE DICKSUCKING FACTORY", "IMPORTANT: MINIMUM ORDER IS 20 GUINEA FOWL.", "FACE DOWN IN THE SHITTER", "PISS TAKES !!!!!", "HAULGUHALG IS THIS UNBIBLICAL BEHAVIOR GHUALGHLBLGUAHBLGAG", "I AM A MUFFIN", "TODAY I AM EITHER THE HERO OR THE GOAT!!!!!!! ALL LUCY HAS TO DO IS HOLD THAT FUCKING FOOTBALL STILL", "QUICKLY NOW PUT ON THIS DISGUISE AND MEET ME AT THE GAY BAR AT THE FAR END OF AIRPORT TERMINAL 3 JUST PAST HOMELAND SECURITY", "AN OPEN LETTER TO THE POLICE OFFICER WHO SAVED MY AUTISTIC SON", "ARE YOU PUMPED FOR MCDONALD'S NEW RESTAURANT \"COSMC\"", "YOUR 2023 GOOGLE TIMELINE HIGHLIGHTS: CITIES VISITED", "A POIGNANT SYNECDOCHE FOR THE SUBORDINATION OF WOMEN ???", "TODAY I WILL GROW A PAIR", "PLEASE JUST LET ME BEAT OFF NORMALLY, JUST THIS ONCE", "THE FATTEST, THE GAYEST", "SUCKING DICK ON MONSTER ISLAND", "KNOCK KNOCK", "STEPHEN FRY IS ACTIVELY BATTLING PROSTATE CANCER", "SYMANTEC SHOULD HAVE NEVER HALTED ITS DISCOUNT PROGRAM WITH THE NATIONAL RIFLE ASSOCIATION", "I WILL BE THE ASHLEY BABBIT OF OXYCONTIN", "ACTUALLY **HER** NAME IS JACQUELINE REACHER NOW", "ERSTWHILE", "OPERATION DINNER OUT IS A GO", "THE GREAT REPLACEMENT THEORY IS WHERE OVER TIME THE EMPTY SPACE IN YOUR MOUTH BECOMES OCCUPIED BY MY COCK", "I NOTICE NONE OF YOU EVEN BOTHERED TO TUNE INTO MY GARDENING LIVESTREAM", "T SPIGOT IS IT TOO EARLY TO PLANT MY BULBS", "IT'S THAT TIME OF THE MORNING WHERE I START TO THINK ABOUT SWITCHING FROM A BATHROBE TO SWEATS", "WHY DOESN'T BONEQUEST HAVE A PODCAST OR A PONZI SCHEME", "DOUBLE SHIFTS AT THE DICKLICKING FACTORY", "WAY WAY WAY WAY PAST BI-CURIOUS AND RIGHT ON DOWN THE ROAD TO HANGING AROUND THE OLD BARN", "IT'S SUPERBOWL SUNDAY !!!", "MY STARBUCKS LID BROKE", "BARF ON MY WEIRD LITTLE BONER", "AVENGE NEX", "ALSO AVENGE JANE MOON AND FUCK DREWTOOTHPASTE", "T SPIGOT YOUR BIRTHDAY'S COMING UP AND", "PUT ME IN THE CORNER", "I APPEAR TO HAVE TORN MY STOCKINGS", "THE EXPRESS LANE TO MY BALLS:", "THIS UNLICKED DICK IS DEDICATED TO THE BRAVE MUJAHIDEEN FIGHTERS OF AFGHANISTAN", "I WOULD LIKE TO \"CHOKE THAT SHIT ON DOWN\" AS YOU PUT IT", "TRYING TO SCRATCH MY EAR WITH MY BACK FOOT, FALLING OVER", "IS IT TOO LATE FOR FILM SCHOOL I HAVE THIS IDEA FOR A SCRIPT WHERE (YOU HAVE STOPPED LISTENING TO ME)", "THIS COMMITTEE OWES AN APOLOGY TO MICHAEL CORLEONE", "LET US REMIND OURSELVES THAT WE ARE IN GOD'S PRESENCE", "FORCE ME TO DRINK FROM THE URINAL", "BEAT ME OFF AT THE HENRY MILLER MEMORIAL LIBRARY", "AND THEN A DIFFERENT DICK (A TOTALLY DIFFERENT DICK THAN THE ONE BEFORE)", "FART CONDITIONS OVERNIGHT: BURSTY", "CHANGES ARE IN THE WIND FOR FULL-SIZE LUXURY AUTOMOBILE OWNERS", "PISSING 33% COMPLETE", "PUT BABY IN MIMIC MOUTH PUT BABY IN MIMIC MOUTH", "SUCKING DICK IN THE TOMB OF JESUS", "WHAT IF INSTEAD OF A 3 BODY PROBLEM IT WAS A 900 PENIS PROBLEM AND THEN INSTEAD OF 900 PENISES IT WAS A COOKIES, CAKES AND PIES PROBLEM AND WE HAD OUR OWN NETFLIX SHOW CALLED COOKIES, PIES AND CAKES AND IT WASN'T A PROBLEM AT ALL", "4:00 PM COFFEEDRINK", "FRACTURE MY FACE", "SUCKING DICK IN THE SHADOW OF HEROD'S MASSACRE OF THE INNOCENTS", "HELP HELP MY GIANT AMERICAN PENIS WANTS TO PISS ON THE FLOOR BUT THAT WOULD BRING SHAME TO MY FAMILY", "SUCKING DICKS USING THE POMODORO TECHNIQUE (25 DICKS THEN TAKE A BREAK WITH 5 TOTALLY DIFFERENT DICKS)", "WHO WANTS TO HOLD MY HAND WHILE I BEAT OFF", "LICKING DICK IN COORDINATED LUNAR TIME", "CONTENT WARNING: THIS REPORT INVOLVES DETAILS THAT MAY BE UPSETTING TO READERS.", "WHAT TIME DOES THE TWINK PARADE START", "BEATOFF PRISON", "NOBODY CAN TELL I'M OBESE UNDER MY PUFFER VEST", "BARF ON THE COCK THEN STAND AT ATTENTION WHILE YOU SALUTE THE COCK THAT YOU BARF ON", "BROTHERS SHOULD BE CLOSE DON'T YOU THINK", "HANDS BEHIND HEAD, LEANING BACK, OKAY, NOW: BEAT ME OFF", "TODAY'S EPISODE IS SPONSORED BY SQUARESPAAAAAA", "BEETLEDEUCE BEETLEDEUCE BEETLEDEUCE", "ARE YOU XORING THINGS", "HALP", "T DEUCE BUT HOW OLD ARE YOU IN JACKOFF YEARS", "THE TOILET IS `CLOGGED`", "ALL CAPS, SCREAMING AT THE CEILING", "CAPTAINS LOG,", "LOVE ME, LOVE MY BONER", "HAPPY FAG DAY EVERYBODY!!!!!!", "FUCK MY BUSTER BROWNS", "T DEUCE I AM FAT GETTING FATTER BUT NOT AT MY FATTEST YET", "HOW CAN WE KEEP GAYS LIKE ME OFF SOCIAL MEDIA", "MY COCK IS NOT TO BE TRIFLED WITH", "WHEN CAN I TAKE MY ECLIPSE GLASSES OFF", "EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE", "MAYBE SOMEDAY WE CAN USE ARTIFICIAL INTELLIGENCE TO HAVE KEVIN COSTNER RE-DO THE VOICE OVER FOR _WINGS OF DESIRE_ INSTEAD OF THAT DREARY GERMAN", "PASSING A NOTE TO THE TELLER DEMANDING A HUG", "BELCH", "T DEUCE YOUR \"MOOD BOARD\" IS JUST SHIT SMEARS", "PICK ON SOMEBODY YOUR OWN SIZE", "WHY I BLOG", "SUCKING OFF THE MONSTER OF THE LAKE", "PRICKS AND DICKS: 100% THE SAME", "BEEZUS DOES RAMONA", "MAY I PLEASE HAVE A TREAT PLACED ON THE TOP OF MY TONGUE", "JESUS PUT US HERE ON EARTH TO FUCK AND SUCK THINGS", "Y'ALL GONNA MAKE ME LICK A DICK", "JACK ME OFF", "I'M GOING TO BED", "NEVER LEAVE HOME WITHOUT YOUR GOLF CLUB", "I'M BEGINNING TO SEE A POINT OF LIGHT ON THE HORIZON", "THE MARSHMALLOW TEST IS WHERE YOU SUCK DICK FOR MARSHMALLOWS", "INEZ LIKES BIRD", "DICK(S)", "WHY IS IT WRONG", "WANTS AND NEEDS AND WEIRD KNOBBY PISS WIENERS", "SO I'M MINDING MY OWN BUSINESS AND THIS SUNFLOWER DEMANDS I PISS HIM UP :SUNFLOWER: \ud83d\udca6", "WHO WANTS PANCAKES", "WHAT GOOD SHALL WE DO THIS DAY", "SUCKING DICK IN A HOLLOW LOG", "OOF OW", "GONNA FUCK THE MOUTH OF THE EARLIEST HUMAN FIGURE FOUND ANYWHERE IN THE BRITISH ISLES", "MAY I HAVE SEVEN OR SO FROSTED CINNAMON ROLLS BEFORE PUTTING ON THE BLOOD PRESSURE CUFF", "THE WORD \"CUM\" ROT13'D IS `PHZ` PRONOUNCED \"FIZZ\" AND THAT'S PERFECT", "GROPE GROPE", "TAG YOURSELF:", "SITTING / STANDING / WALKING", "CARBOHYDRATES HELP ME PLAY", "EXCUSE ME BUT I'M A LEATHER-CLAD VAMPIRE ASSASSIN", "ANYBODY ELSE MASTURBATING TO THE WEATHER CHANNEL RIGHT NOW", "LET'S BUMP OUR SONY CYBER-SHOTS INTO EACH OTHER LIKE THEY'RE KISSING OR HUMPING", "BABY BABY BABY YOU'RE THE BEST", "IT IS 1999 AND I AM MAKING WEB COMICS: I HAVE EATEN THE ENTIRE SLEEVE OF OREOS", "CAVE JOHNSON HERE", "WATCH ME BEAT OFF WITH NOTHING BUT MY HANDS AND PORNOGRAPHY", "DOWNLOAD ME", "WHO WANTS TO PUTTER AROUND WITH MY BALLS", "BOY THE PENISES AT THIS PLACE ARE REALLY TERRIBLE", "T SPIGOT DO YOU REMEMBER THAT TIME WE WERE UNDER THE DOME", "WAKE UP AND SMELL THE PANTS", "ARE WE JACK OFF KINGS", "PLEASE CHOKE ME", "```CONNECTION CLOSED BY FOREIGN HOST```", "THE NEW TOM HANKS MOVIE COULD ONLY AFFORD ONE CAMERA AND ONE TRIPOD", "TEACH ME TO JACK OFF", "TAPPING THE DICK WITH A PENCIL", "I'M LEAVING TO GO LIVE WITH THE MOLE PEOPLE", "YOU WILL BE GAY WITH ME AND WE WILL HOLD HANDS", "GUB", "NONE CAN DEFY ME!", "I CAN BEAT OFF TO LILITH BUT NOT FRASIER", "WHAT THAT MAN DID IS UNFORGIVABLE", "I'M 10,000 YEARS OLD AND I DON'T KNOW WHAT LDAP IS", "YEAH THIS WEEK WE'RE ACTUALLY NOT GONNA RUN YOUR POLITICAL CARTOON WHERE A FAT CAT WITH DOLLAR SIGN EYEBALLS BLOWS CIGAR SMOKE AT A BUNCH OF SHEEP WEARING CLOWN WIGS AND HONKING HORNS AT THE CIRCUS ON A SINKING SHIP", "BURGERS COOKED IN PISS", "WHY DID TODAY'S BONEQUEST GET TAGGED WITH #LOU-REED", "DRUNK IN PORTLAND, AMA", "DO YOU WANNA GO TO BRUNCH WITH MY BONER", "IF I WAS AN INTRO WOULD YOU SKIP ME", "WHO ELSE ZIPS THEIR SWEATER ALL THE WAY UP AND PRETENDS TO BE A STARFLEET OFFICER", "COMPRESS ME INTO CUBE FORM", "IS A FAE TRAP WHAT I THINK IT IS", "I DON'T KNOW WHO THIS POST MALONE FELLOW IS BUT HE MAKES A GOOD OREO", "WANNA WATCH ME PISS", "1. LOCK TARGET", "I NEED A HUG", "WHY IS EVERYBODY SO FUCKING FAT AND ALSO HOW DO I GET FATTER", "WHY DO I LOGIN TO THIS HELL SITE", "I'M EVER SO BEATOFFABLE", "T DEUCE WERE THOSE REALLY YOUR BALLS (IN LAST SUNDAY'S VIDEOCAST)", "ENJOYING MY PAPER CUP OF GIN AND TONIC ON THE TARMAC", "PLAY WITH MY BALLS", "POKE ME WITH A RAKE (OR A BROOM, WHATEVER)", "CONSOLE.LOG(\"I SURE DO LOVE COCK\");", "SOME WAG TAGGED TODAY'S BONEQUEST EPISODE WITH #AUTISM", "T SPIGOT HOW MANY CALORIES DO YOU HAVE LEFT TODAY??? I ONLY HAVE ABOUT 18,000", "[SIGNAL SIGSEGV: SEGMENTATION VIOLATION CODE=0X2 ADDR=0X0 PC=0X10503A938]", "POKE AN ALTOIDS-BRAND MINT INTO MY BOTTOM", "DUHHH MOOSE IS JUGHEAD'S GIRLFRIEND DUHHHHHH", "GAY GROPES", "YOU'RE GIVING FEEDBACK ON A NEW VERSION OF CHATGPT !!!", "SUCK ME OFF IN A PATCH OF CALIFORNIA NATIVE PLANTS", "I GET GRABBY AND GAY WHEN I DRINK", "REST ASSURED THAT NOTHING I SAY MATTERS", "FAT CHAT WILL BE RIGHT BACK AFTER THESE MESSAGES", "THE BUTT PLUG GOES WHERE?????????", "ARE YOU MAKING A MALE STRIP CLUB", "MY KEYBOARD IS FILTHY, WHO SPRINKLED ALL THESE CRUMBS ALL OVER THE KEYS", "HOW DOES THAT MAKE YOU FEEL", "AUTO-VIVIFICATION", "COMEDY ***AND*** MAGIC??????????", "MY ROD AND MY STAFF", "AND THEN WE WOKE UP AND IT WAS ALL A DREAM AND WE'RE USING WINDOWS 3.1", "HOLY GOD", "SQUIRTING A LINE OF MUSTARD ALONG MY DICK", "CAN YOU BELIEVE LITTLE BUNNY FOO FOO IS ALREADY ELIGIBLE FOR SOCIAL SECURITY", "WHO WANTS TO SUCK DICK AT OLIVE GARDEN", "SIGH!!!!!!!!!", "HURRRRRRRRR SUCKING DICKS THROUGH A HOLE IN A HOLLOW LOG", "BEAT ME OFF", "PISS CRISIS!!!!!! SEND IN THE MARINES", "I'M WEARING HOTPANTS BUT ALSO THEY ARE SHORT SHORTS", "I'M A PISS-DRIBBLER", "OKAY EVERYBODY POST PISSING SELFIES", "T DEUCE WOULD YOU LIKE A BIG FAT HUG", "DOIN' IT COWDOG STYLE", "WHO WANTS PANCAKES", "I WANNA RAIL A 19-YEAR-OLD", "I GRANT YOU THREE WISHES", "FATE HAD OTHER PLANS!!!! WROTE THE BAD WRITER", "IF I'M BEATING OFF DON'T COME INTO THE ROOM UNLESS THE PIZZA HAS ARRIVED OR FRESH BAKED COOKIES ARE HOT OUT OF THE OVEN OR YOU JUST POURED ME A DRINK OR I GOT A LETTER IN THE MAIL OR IF YOU SAW A BIRD OUTSIDE OR YOU'RE JUST BORED AND NEED TO TALK", "COMPARISON IS THE THIEF OF FAGGOTRY", "PISS BUTTONS (NOT SURE IF ONE OR TWO WORDS)", "HERE'S MY PITCH: WE GO UPSTREAM TO THE CANADIAN WILDERNESS AND HUNT BEAVERS FOR THEIR PELTS, BRING THEM BACK DOWN TO THE ENGLISH COLONIES AND SELL THEM FOR FEET PICS", "I PISS IN THE GARDEN", "WHO WANTS TO SEE MY BIG NATURALS", "MY ROPE BROKE", "HAVE YOU EVER SEEN A MAN DIE FROM RHYDONIUM", "CONSOLE.LOG(\"\ud83d\udca3 WE HAVE EXPLOSIVE\");", "I'M A LITTLE BIT CUNTY", "LIPS", "I THINK JEFFREY EPSTEIN DID KILL HIMSELF", "T DEUCE I DON'T LIKE SYSTEMD BUT I'VE LEARNED TO LIVE WITH IT", "I HAVE A HEADACHE SO EVERYBODY NEEDS TO USE DARK MODE AND TALK IN LOWERCASE PLEASE", "YOU KNOW WHO'S NOT IN THE EPSTEIN FILES????????? PANTS SPIGOT DEUCE AND EFFIGY THAT'S WHO", "THICK UNCUT ORC DICK", "SOMEBODY FEED PANTS", "HELP", "I'M EVER SO BEATOFFABLE", "PISS!!!!!", "WHAT THE HELL IS A POWDER ROOM I JUST NEED TO TAKE A DUMP", "PUMP YOUR COCK FOR THE MOTHERLAND", "DON'T BE AFRAID: THERE'S NO SUCH THING AS GENERATION X", "BARTENDER, PENIS ME", "WHAT ARE YOUR PLANS FOR THIS WEEKEND", "STEAM SUMMER SALE!!!!!!!!!!!! SO FAR I'VE BOUGHT:", "JACKING OFF INTO A NAPKIN SQUARE, ASKED TO LEAVE THE BANQUET", "PAT ME ON MY HEAD AND SEND ME ON MY WAY", "I'M GOING TO JACK OFF INTO YOU", "ME UNDER THE HOLE WITH MY MOUTH WIDE OPEN, READY TO TO ACCEPT FOOD SCRAPS: \"IT'S A LIVING\"", "DO YOU EVER JUST GET SICK OF ALL THE TERMINAL WINDOWS YOU HAVE OPEN AND YOU CLOSE EVERYTHING AND CHOOSE NEW COLORS FOR THE WEEK", "PISSING PENISES", "I KEEP TELLING YOU GUYS, WE JUST NEED TO ALL JOIN ARMS AND WALK INTO THE SEA", "INSPECT MY NUTS", "I CAN'T POO UNLESS YOU PUNCH ME IN THE FACE", "MOUTH", "WON'T YOU BEAT ME OFF", "PAPA I NEED THE FARTS", "I NEED TO SHIT", "SUCKING A DICK AT LIGHT SPEED IN THE SAME PLACE AT THE SAME TIME, BREAKING ALL THE LAWS AT ONCE", "LET'S ALL BASK IN HOW THE TOP OF EFFIGY'S HEAD IS POORLY CROPPED", "I'M A `BLANK`-POWERED FUCK MACHINE", "SHUP UP ABOUT DISCWORLD", "\"BOOMER-TARGETED A.I. SLOP\"", "WHAT I NEED YOU TO DO IS COME DOWN TO WHERE I WORK AND SLAP THE DICKS OUT OF MY MOUTH", "SOAKING THE DEEP SHAG CARPET WITH MY PISS", "EVERY MORNING I WAKE UP WITH A HARDON AND I SALUTE THE FLAG UNTIL MY BONER GOES AWAY", "WATCH ME BEAT OFF TO OS/2", "CAN I GET A LIST OF UNSUCKED DICKS FROM THE JSON API OR DO I NEED TO LOGIN FOR THAT", "WHAT ARE WE DOING FOR PASSOVER", "ANOTHER DAY IN THE SUN", "BUK BUK BUK :CHICKEN:", "HUG ME AND NEVER LET ME GO", "GET ME TO JACKOFF PALACE AND STEP ON IT", "BEAT ME OFF (PLEASE, THANK YOU)", "NEXT UP: CHRISTMAS PISS", "NOTHING BETTER THAN LIGHTLY-TOASTED SUPERMARKET FRENCH BREAD", "IF I PUT MY PENIS IN THERE WILL ANYTHING BAD HAPPEN", "WE ARE WIZARDS OR SOMETHING", "LITTLE BROWN PISS JUG", "CHOKING IT DOWN AT THE CHOKEDOWN SHOW" ], "private jim": [ "HOLY GOD YOU'RE PUSHING YOUR FAT WANGY DONG ALL THE WAY INTO MY FACE", "TODAY I BECOME A MAN" ], "punky punk": [ "I SURE DO LOVE GIVING HEAD TO THE CAST OF JERKCITY ON A REGULAR BASIS" ], "rands": [ "UNCONSCIOUS GIRLS NEVER SAY NO !!!!", "HOOOOO NUTTS" ], "spigot": [ "CLANG CLANG CLANG WENT THE TROLLEY", "I MISS THE GOOD OLD DAYS WHERE I COULD CHOKE DOWN A 12 OZ DONG AT THE CORNER POKERY", "NURK NURK NURK I WISH MORE PEOPLE WOULD LAUGH LOUDLY AROUND ME AND TALK ABOUT POSTSCRIPT!!!!!!!!!!!", "I AM SERILY PERTURBED WITH REGARD TO HOW MANY CHIPS WERE ACTUALLY IN THE BIG PUFFY BAG", "WE HAVE A WITNESS THAT CAN PLACE YOUR DONG IN THE SAME NEIGHBORHOOD AS MY FACE LAST JULY 4TH", "SAVING PRIVATE DICKLICKER", "I'M EATING A BREAKFAST BURRITO", "HOLY CHRIST JUST DONGS EVERYWHERE AND SO SUDDENLY -- POKING AND WHAPPING ME -- IT'S LIKE I'M RUNNING BACKWARDS NAKED THROUGH A CORNFIELD", "WELL THE SAFEWAY LADY CLAIMS SHE HAS NO IDEA IF I'VE PURCHASED AN...", "LORD GOD YOU'RE BANGING MY YARMULKED HEAD AGAINST THE INCINERATOR", "TIME TO LISTEN TO THE BANANARAMA SONG AGAIN", "HE'S ALL \"WANNA POUNDA DOPE\"", "I DON'T KNOW ABOUT YOU BUT I'D LIKE TORI SPELLING TO GIVE ME SOME 9-0-2-1-ORAL SEX", "WELL LONG STORY SHORT THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS \"DONGAZINE\" AND I'M STILL OVERWEIGHT AND MY MOUTH HURTS", "DO YOU EVER PISS IN YOUR FAT MOUTH", "I PUBLISH SHORT STORIES ON THE WEB AND HERE'S A LINK TO EMAIL ME", "JOHN GLENN BEGINS PRACTICE COUNTDOWN", "SO LONG STUPID CUBE WHERE DORKS CAN TALK AND PEOPLE CAN SEE MY PORN", "THE QUESTION IS NOT WHETHER IT'S ART OR PORNOGRAPHY PEOPLE, THE QUESTION IS HOW FAR IS THAT BAT UP THE GUY'S ASS", "I MIXED VIAGRA WITH OLEAN!!!!! SPLUHURHGURHUG HULBHLUGHLUBSPLRULUG", "I'M A CHAR TO A STAR TO A POINTER TO A DONG TO A BONG TO THIS GUN TO RIGHT IN MY MOUTH AND GOODBYE", "BUT WHAT EXACTLY IS HIGH DEFINITION TV?!?!?!?! AND IS IT WORTH THE STEEP PRICE?!?!?!?", "REMEMBER WHEN WE LIVED TOGETHER AND WE WOULD TAKE THE BUS TO VARIOUS GAY PLACES AND YOU WOULD INSIST YOU WERE NOT GAY BUT BOY DID LESLIE AND CECIL AND FREDERICK AT BLOWHOLE'S KNOW OTHERWISE", "LICK DICK OLD BEAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!", "ACCORDING TO THE 1997 MOTORCYCLE SUPPLEMENT FROM THE DMV, WHEN YOUR REAR TIRE GOES FLAT THE BICYCLE SWINGS \"JERKILY\" FROM SIDE TO SIDE, WELL WE ALL HAD A GOOD LAUGH AND I FAILED", "I LIKE TO PRACTICE BEING GAY IN FRONT OF A MIRROR", "MY DAD POOFED INTO A BAT AND FLAPPED INTO MY ROOM AND PUT HIS WING DOWN MY PANTS", "I WOULD HAVE TO DESCRIBE \"FOR BETTER OR WORSE\" AS HILARIOUS, HEARTWARMING", "HELP / I NEED SOMEBODY", "GUESS WE'RE HEADED FOR THE DONG PARTY", "INSTEAD OF EGG MCMUFFIN THEY SHOULD CALL IT EGG MCSTUFFIN' BECAUSE I CAN'T STOP STUFFIN' MY FACE WITH DICK", "SO DAD WAS ALL: WHAT DO YOU WANT TO DO WITH YOUR LIFE?!?!?!?!?!?", "I'M A SKILLED IMMIGRANT WITH A TIE AND A RESUME AND A DREAM", "AND NOW I PRESENT: THE JEW WHO HAD GAS (A PLAY IN TWO LINES)", "I AM FLOPPING BOTH MY PANTS POCKETS OUT AND ASKING YOU TO KISS THE BUNNY ON THE NOSE", "CAN SOMEONE REMIND ME WHAT IS THE FUCKING POINT OF GAMES?", "I WAS BORN IN A SMALL TOWN", "FOLKS IT'S LIKE YOU DON'T EVEN GIVE A SHIT WHAT I DID LAST SUMMER", "JULIE ANDREWS MAY NEVER SING AGAIN!?????????!", "I'M GOING TO SMOKE THIS DOPE AND SEE WHAT HAPPENS", "REALLY REALLY TAKING IT AND TRYING TO LOOK OUT THE WINDOW (THINKING ABOUT ICE CREAM, ICE CUBES)", "BRISCO: THE PERP MUST HAVE BEEN IN A HURRY", "SOUNDS LIKE THE NOTE PAD AND THE CALCULATOR ARE FIGHTING AGAIN!!!!!!", "UM, I DO NOT REMEMBER EATING THE LAST BITE OF PIZZA SO IT IS AROUND HERE SOMEWHERE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!", "HERE I HAVE AN ORDINARY DECK OF CARDS", "WHY CAN'T I BACKSPACE OR ^R?", "THESE PATIENTS DON'T NEED A FRIEND!!!!!!! THEY NEED A DOCTOR!!!!!!!!", "PERSONALLY I THINK THE NBA NEEDS MICHAEL LANDON NOW MORE THAN EVER", "WHEN YOUR MOUTH / CHOKES ON DICK / LIKE A BIG FUCKING PRICK", "WHAT DO WE WANT?", "FUCK, I JUST HAD THIS FREAK ACCIDENT WHERE I SAT DOWN TO WORK AND I SPILLED DOPE INTO THE BONG AND THE LIGHTER FLICKED OUT AND SET IT ON FIRE AND THE WHEELS OF MY CHAIR SLIPPED BACK AND I INHALED THE DOPE SMOKE AND ATE A MUFFIN", "I'VE GOT TWO BIG BONERS AND A MICROPHONE", "LOOK AT YOU !!!! YOUR FACE IS A TOTAL DISGRACE...", "Q: IS THAT YOU IN THERE WITH THE RADIOS?!?!? KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK", "BRISCOE: WHAT IF WE GIVE UP THE MURDER WEAPON?", "ALSO THEY ARE MY \"BREASTS\" NOT MELONS OR JUGS", "HERE TO BE GAY / THE AMERICAN WAY", "CONCERNED ABOUT ALL THESE HACKERS !!?!!?!! IS MY CREDIT SAFE ??? WHO'S PEEKING AT MY PRIVACY ?!??!?!??!?!?!?!?!???! OH GOD I CAN'T BREATHE SIR YOU ARE CHOKING ME", "OKAY I'M INTERCEPTING YOUR PACKETS AND DECODING YOUR SECRET GAYNESS SO GIVE ME MONEY", "MY WHOLE LIFE IS LIKE THE TRUMAN SHOW ONLY MY RATINGS NEED A SERIOUS BOOST DUE TO THE LACK OF CAMERAS OR PEOPLE GIVING A SHIT", "SUBJECT: FOLKS I HAVE AIDS!!!!!!!", "FOLKS I WOKE UP ON THE FLOOR OF THE STALL WITH NO SHOES", "I WOULD LIKE TO RULE IN FAVOR OF THIS DOG SHIT!!!!", "WHERE'S THAT PIZZA", "CONCERNED ABOUT MY BLISTER................. AND TOM HANKS' BLISTER?!?!?!?!?!!?", "BURNING, BEHEADING", "I WILL SUE FOR THE RIGHT TO LICK YOUR DICK", "WELL COCKMOUTH.GIF WAS EXACTLY AS ADVERTISED", "LOOSE LIPS LICK DICKS", "THE KUDDLE WUDDLE KITTY KLUB WEB RING", "I AM COUNTING ON AN X WITH OUR PISS THIS SATURDAY !!!!!!!!!! BRING PROTRACTOR", "MY BONER LIES OVER THE OCEAN", "SETENV HORNY YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!", "FOLKS CAN WE GET SOME EXPERT ANALYSIS OF THE ONGOING KOSOVO CRISIS?!?!?!?!", "HERE COMES SEATTLE'S FATTEST FAGGOT", "I CANNOT DONG AND CHONG ALONE HERE", "TELL THEM ABOUT THE GOOD BOOK", "I FIND IT HARD TO BELIEVE THIS IS ALL FOR SOME PISSCAM PROJECT BUT I'M TRYING HARD TO HOLD STEADY", "T DEUCE YOU SAID THIS WASN'T A KISSING GAME", "I'D LIKE TO OPEN THIS MEETING WITH THIS RAP SONG ABOUT LINUX!!!!!! I MADE IT ON THE BUS!!!!", "THE BACK OF THIS TOILET IS THE LYSOL-CLEAN I CAN TRUST", "THE CLOSEST DISTANCE BETWEEN TWO POINTS IS BEATING OFF !!!", "SORRY HR LADY!!!!!!!!! I BEAT OFF TO BLONDES I DON'T TALK TO THEM", "CAN YOU GET PREGNANT FROM ANAL SEX", "I'M A LESBIAN!!!!!!", "YOU MIGHT BE A REDNECK IF ...................", "I AM TELLING YOU TO TWIST PADDLE 0 AND YOU ARE TWISTING PADDLE 1", "OH LORD MY INTESTINES ARE WRAPPED AROUND MY GYM SHORTS", "FOLKS I'M SAD TO REPORT I AM DYING FROM DICKLICKER'S DISEASE BUT I REALLY THINK YOU'LL FIND MY REQUIRED TREATMENT IRONIC AND INEXPENSIVE!!!!!! F-R-E-E", "I WILL START A CLUB CALLED THE GAY AND LESBIAN AND HOMOSEXUAL AND LESBIAN AND LESBIAN AND GAY AND HOMOSEXUAL AND GAY AND LESBIAN AND GAY AND GAY AND HOMOSEXUAL AND GAY AND LESBIAN AND GAY CLUB AND IT WILL BE CALLED THE GALAHALALAGAHAGALAGAGAHAGALAG CLUB", "FIVE MONTHS STANDING IN LINE!!!!!!!!!!!!", "HEY JUDE", "WHAT I LIKE TO DO IS ADD THE PHRASE \"IN BED\" TO THE END OF MY FORTUNE COOKIES!!!!!!!!!!", "SOMEONE NEEDS THE NIGHTTIME SNIFFLING SNEEZING COUGHING ACHING WHEEZING STUFFY-HEAD FEVER SO YOU CAN SUCK A DICK MEDICINE", "NET YAROZE !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!", "HEY LOOK EVERYONE I'M ITALIAN", "PLEASE DON'T TELL ANYONE ABOUT MY BONER UNDER THE TABLE AT THANKSGIVING", "NOT IN CZ OR KR OR JP OR GLKGRBL", "PLEASE OVERRIDE MY VIRTUAL MEMBER", "SORRY FOR THE WIDE DISTRIBUTION (OF PISS ALL OVER THE TOILET PAPERS AND TOWELS)", "STEPHEN KING'S THE POKING", "COCKS PEOPLE", "GARLIC BAGELS WITH GARLIC BUTTER!!!", "GODDAMNIT LADY I SAID ON THE PHONE I NEEDED SOMEONE TO DRIBBLE AND DROOL LONG STRINGY STRANDS OF SLOBBER ALL OVER MY DICK AND SUBSEQUENTLY HER FACE !!!!!!!!!! INSTEAD YOU ARE COPPING SOME LOSER-BITCH ATTITUDE WHICH FORCES ME TO BAND YOUR HEAD AGAINST THE MARBLE SINK", "KERVORKIAN EYEBALLS COFFEE CAKE", "I'M A SHORT WIDE GOTH WHO'S MAKING A CYBERDIFFERENCE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!", "NOMINATED FOR A 1998 WEBBY AWARD!!!!!!#($@)(#%GBLHRLUBHRBU)", "IT'S SUCKER PUNCH A QUEER MONTH AT YOUR NORTHERN CALIFORNIA MAZDA DEALER", "CAN SOMEONE HELP ME DEBUG THIS PLEASE:", "I WISH I COULD DIAL NINE TO GET MY HEAD OUTSIDE OF THE TOILET", "ONLINE FILTERS HELP MY PARENTS DECIDE !!!! AND THEY KEEP ME SAFE !!!", "THIS MOVIE DOES NOT HAVE CHRIS NOTH!!!!! IT IS PETER NORTH", "I JUST TOLD SOME STUPID MARKETING WHORE SHE WAS A HOT LITTLE FILLIE!!!!!", "I'LL HAVE YOU KNOW A \"FAGGOT\" CAN ALSO MEAN A TIGHTLY-WRAPPED BUNDLE OF DICKS!!!!", "NEVER GONNA GET IT / NEVER GONNA GET IT", "FOUR MORE PRICKS", "I WASN'T GOING TO LICK DICK, THEN I REALIZED I HAVE TO BE FLEXIBLE", "KNOCK KNOCK !!!", "LET'S GO TO THE MOON AND LICK DICK", "I'LL SAY IT AGAIN: LET'S GO TO THE MOON AND LICK DICK", "I AM SLOWLY MORPHING INTO A TOTAL COCKSUCKER !!!", "EVERYONE BE QUIET I HAVE SOMETHING TO SAY !!!", "FOLKS CAN WE HAVE JUST A MOMENT FOR HARVEY MILK AND FORMER GOVERNOR MOSCONE", "I'M A LIMPWRITHTED JEDI MATHTER UTHING THE FORTH", "LIFETIME:", "HOW ABOUT A FAT WISE INDIAN WOMAN WITH A DOT, BOBBING HER HEAD AROUND STRAIGHT INTO THE CAMERA OF A SOFT FOCUS SPRINT COMMERCIAL CLAIMING HER STAKE IN THE INTERNET GENERATION ??? SURPRISE FOLKS !!! NOBODY YAHOOS", "SORRY FOLKS!!!!!!! NOT JOHN KENNEDY, JUST MTV'S KENNEDY !! SINCERELY CNN", "I AM THE PIE MAN", "RE: SISTA 4, THIS ONE WAS A WALL TO WALL WHORE EXTRAVAGANZA, ALL GIRLS AND CONSEQUENTLY LITTLE OR NO SPURT (JUST SALIVA)", "SO YOU SAY YOU'RE A 38 YEAR OLD WIRELESS COMMUNICATIONS CONSULTANT LIVING AND WORKING IN THE BAY AREA, WHO LOVES CATS AND ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ SNURK HONK HUH LISTENING", "QUIET WHILE I READ TOM CLANCY'S FORCE OF POKING", "FOLKS LET'S SPEND BILLIONS TO GET ESCORT GIRLS OUT OF OUR NEIGHBORHOODS !!! AND MANDATORY AWARENESS SEMINARS FOR WOULD-BE CUSTOMERS WHO WE CAN SET UP AND BUST BY PRETENDING TO BE THOSE ESCORT GIRLS !!!", "A LITERAL BROWNOUT", "I WOULD LIKE TO SUCK COCKS WITH A -R FOR RECURSIVE AND A -F TO BE FORCED !!!", "TO CALCULATE HOW MANY DICKS I'VE LICKED YOU'D NEED ONE OF THOSE HILARIOUS WEB PAGE COUNTERS THAT KEEPS SPINNING AND FLIPPING OUT OF CONTROL WITH THE NUMBERS APPEARING TO RACE UPWARD TO INFINITY BUT REALLY ONLY GETTING TO 999999 BEFORE RESETTING TO 000000", "FOLKS I HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR GODOT FOR A GOOD TEN-FIFTEEN MINUTES", "ARE BUKAKKE AND PERQUACKY THE SAME TYPE DEAL", "I WOULD LIKE TO REPORT AN UNLICKED DICK IN THE NORTHWEST CORNER OF MY PANTS !!!", "DISCONNECT MY DOODLE-DONG", "TRYING TO FIST MYSELF AND FAILING", "FUNNY THING HAPPENED IN THE BIG STALL JUST BEFORE I CAME OUT HERE", "SITTING AT THE BUS STOP CALCULATING HOW TO DIVIDE $5.00 IN QUARTERS BETWEEN PORNO BOOTHS & SNICKERS", "(A) I LIKE TO SHOOT THINGS", "I'D LIKE TO COMPLAIN ABOUT THIS PORN VIDEO", "HERE IN THE LAB WE'RE DEVELOPING ARTIFICIALLY INTELLIGENT COCKS THAT SUCK THEMSELVES AND ALSO EACH OTHER", "I AM LATE FOR MY 2:00 AM BONGHIT", "I LOVE GIRLS EVERYONE", "THE CHILDREN", "P.S. WHEN I COME BACK I'D LIKE TO BE CALLED \"G DOGG\"", "SERIOUSLY FINE IN HERE", "IS THAT DRUNK FAT MAN IN THE GUTTER HARRY KNOWLES????????", "SO LET'S ALL GO TO THE MOON AND LICK DICK!!! RIGHT THIS WAY !!!", "STANDING ON A CHAIR AND BEATING OFF, HOPING THE VIBRATIONS RESONATE THROUGH OUR INTERGALACTIC COMMUNITY AND BROADCAST A MESSAGE TO GAY ALIENS (OR AS I LIKE TO CALL THEM \"MEXICANS\")", "EVERY TIME I REACH INTO THE CAN THE PRINGLES ARE FARTHER AWAY ???", "SOMEBODY BETTER TELL MY NUTS TO SHUT UP", "VI MY FACE", "UH", "WILL JENNA JAMESON HAVE A SQUIRT BOOTH AT THE LILITH FAIR", "I'VE GOT TO COMB MY HAIR AND LEAVE THE STALL LIKE A NORMAL PERSON!!!!!!!!!!!!!! NOBODY IS STARING AT ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!", "FOLKS IT TURNS OUT NANTUCKET CRANBERRY LEMONADE BOTTLECAPS ARE JUST WIDE ENOUGH", "WHAT WOULD CHRIST DO", "PERL CAN HELP ME ITERATE OVER THE COCKS IN A GIVEN STALL, MARK EACH AS SUCKED OR UNSUCKED AND SORT THEM BY LENGTH. THEN I CAN BE GAY WITH PISS AND GO HOME AND TAKE A NAP", "YOU'RE CORDIALLY INVITED...", "THE ABSENCE OF A DEFINITE ARTICLE IN THE GERUND PHRASE OF THAT SENTENCE MEANS THAT AS A RESULT OF A DANGLING PARTICIPLE IT'S NOT TOTALLY CLEAR HOW MUCH DICK I HAVE TO SUCK DURING THE HOLIDAYS", "HOW ABOUT YOU AND ME AND A BLANKET AND MY ROBOCOP TAPE", "IT'S A BIRD", "CHEERS TO PRICKS !!!!!!", "I TINKLE AND THEN I STOP TINKLING AND THEN AFTER I PULL MY PANTS UP THERE'S A SUDDEN SPURT OF TINKLE SO WE ALL HAVE PROSTATE CANCER", "I BENT OVER TO PICK UP A NICKEL AND SPONTANEOUSLY DID AN AEROSOL SQUIRT!!!!!!!!!!", "ANOTHER WEB COMIC WITH A HEART OF GOLD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111111", "I'M READY FOR MY NEXT BARELY LEGAL ANY FUCKING DAY NOW", "STUDY SAYS WOMEN MORE STRESSED THAN MEN", "OKAY GANG: FUNNY THINGS THAT CAN HAPPEN AT THE BEACH", "FILKING IS FOR SINGING ALONG TO, PEOPLE", "CLICK CLICK CLICK HI WE'RE TOURISTS!!!! CLICK CLICK WHERE'S THE GAY BASHING FENCE AGAIN", "I THINK I COULD BEST SUM THINGS UP WITH A MOUTHFUL", "WORDS FOR USENET WITHOUT ACTUALLY USING THE FUCKING WORD!!!!!!!! LET'S GO", "NOT A DAY GOES BY WHERE I DON'T JERK MYSELF UNTIL I GET A STOMACH ACHE", "MY PIANO TEACHER TOLD ME TO PLAY A B-FLAT BUT INSTEAD I PLAYED A B-FAT THEN I PLONKED OUT SOME B-GAYS", "DOES ST. PATRICK'S DAY REALLY MEAN I CAN ASK ANY DRUNK IRISHMAN TO LICK MY DICK", "SHYNESS IS NICE", "SURE LADY I'LL HAVE PHONE SEX WITH YOU!!!!!!!!!", "GAY GAY GAY IN THE U.S. OF A", "WOODY'S BACK!!!! AND BUZZ LIGHTYEAR!!!!!!", "YOU BE THE BORG AND I'LL BE BILL GATES AND WE CAN GROPE AT EACH OTHER'S ASS AND NUTS FOR HALF AN HOUR (FORTY-FIVE MINUTES)", "SERIOUSLY BUT WHAT OF Y3K AND Y4K!?!?!?! I'M RICHARD HART FOR C|NET AND SHE'S JAN YANIHERO FOR EVENING MAGAZINE * CLOMP CLOMP CLOMP CLICK BANG", "LET'S ALL WEAVE DREAMS ON THE WEB AND MAKE OUR SITES STICKY", "COME FLY WITH ME / COME FLY / LET'S / DUNK MY HEAD INTO THE TOILET", "BY MY CALCULATIONS THERE WOULD HAVE BEEN A SECOND JIZZER", "WHAT", "I'D APPRECIATE IT IF YOU COULD CALL ME FORD PREFECT FROM NOW ON", "CATCH THE CYBERWAVE WITH THESE OTHER HYPERTEXT LINKS............", "LGHBLHGLHB", "HUGE GAY DICKS!!!!!!!! REALLY POKING NOW!!!!!!!!", "TAKE THE G TRAIN", "YOU SURE ARE \"FORCING\" ME TO SUCK YOUR DICK WHOEVER YOU ARE", "I WAS TALKING TO THIS GUY ONLY TO REALIZE IT WAS MY REFLECTION!!! THEN IT GOT ALL RIPPLY AND I THOUGHT I WAS SMOKING DOPE BUT IT WAS THE TOILET WATER RIPPLING!!!!! AND IT WAS ME WITH MY FACE IN THE CRAPPER THE WHOLE TIME!!!!! EXPLAIN THE WHY OF THAT!!!!!!!!!!!", "I HAVE BEEN FIRED FROM BONEQUEST FOR MY UFO BELIEFS", "SO HE'S LIKE \"HOW ABOUT I PISS IN YOUR FACE\"", "FOLKS THE SUN'S ATMOSPHERE HAS EXPANDED TO ENGULF AND DESTROY MERCURY AND VENUS!!!!!!! CAN WE PLEASE START WORKING ON A HUGE SPACESHIP???????", "MOTHERS WHO THINK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!", "ALL NPR TALKS ABOUT IS WEIRD WARRING CULTURES THROWING DIRT CLODS AT ONE ANOTHER!!!!!! LITTLE OR NOTHING TO DO WITH BRITNEY'S HOME PHONE / WHETHER SHE HAS A BOYFRIEND / HER LAUNDRY HAMPER", "NASA LAUNCHES PEPSI ONE ORBITER, TOMMY HILFIGER LANDER", "WHO FORGOT TO PAY THE ELECTRIC BILL", "I SWEAR TO GOD IF I SEE ONE MORE STUPID FUCKING DILDO", "THE COVER OF MY HITCH-HIKER'S GUIDE SAYS WHENEVER I FEEL LIKE PANICKING I SHOULD GRAB A DICK AND SUCK IT !!!!!! THANK GOD I CAN KNEEL ON THIS TOWEL AND PUT OUT A SERIES OF SHITTY CD-ROMS", "TIME FROM MY 4AM BONGHIT", "I SUSPECT I WILL BE FOUND GUILTY OF FIRST DEGREE DICKLICKING", "GLGL", "WELL OBVIOUSLY CHER DOESN'T THINK I'M STRONG ENOUGH TO BELIEVE IN LOVE", "BRING IN DA NOISE AND BRING OUT DA PRICKS !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!", "I ONLY SUCK DICK IN SELF DEFENSE", "CHONKCHONK THIS IS ME LICKING DICK", "I CAN'T DECIDE IF I WANT GAYS IN THE CLERGY OR GAYS IN THE MILITARY!!!!!!!!!!!!", "I AM SWEDISH AND DROWNING AND ASKING FOR HJALP", "DOOT DEE DOO!!!!! PACKING MY SUITCASE", "HEY LADY HOW ABOUT A BLOWJOB??????????", "UHHH497HBGNG", "I FOR ONE WILL NEVER FORGET CHARLES SCHULZ!!!!!", "THE HANDS OF THE CLOCK TELL ME IT'S TIME FOR DOPE", "MY BONER WON'T LET ME SLEEP", "DUCK", "GROK IS A WORD MEANING \"I'M FAT, I HAVE A HUGE U.C. BERKELEY BEARD, AND I'M AFRAID TO HIT ON GIRLS\"", "FOLKS IF YOU WANT TO SUPPORT JERKCITY YOU CAN DO IT WITH ANONYMOUS DOLLARS SO I CAN'T TRACE IT BACK TO YOUR FUCKING SPEECH & DEBATE TEAM!!!!! OKAY?!?!?! AND GIRLS PLEASE: READ A BARELY LEGAL BEFORE RINGING MY DOORBELL", "YAY!!!!! KEVIN IS FREE TO ROAM THE EARTH AND SUCK COCK AND GET OLD AND DIE", "TO THE GROUND WITH YOU! DOWN -- BEFORE THE MIGHT OF DORMAMMU", "AGAIN PEOPLE PLEASE LEAVE SOME DICK FOR OTHERS", "MY JUNIOR YEAR IS REALLY MY MOST IMPORTANT YEAR EVER !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!", "TOO DAZED WITH DICKS TO BOOKMARK THE BABYLON 5 FAQ", "FOLKS I JUST TOOK A DATE-RAPE DRUG AND I'LL BE OUTSIDE ON THE LAWN", "YOU LIED ABOUT DOCTOR WHO BEING IN YOUR PANTS POCKET", "DID I SAY AIKIDO??? I MEANT MY SKILLS AS A TURNTABLEIST", "POLICE CHALLENGE PENTAGON INVESTIGAION AND SHOOT GAYS", "CLICK HERE TO SIGN MY GUESTBOO", "HURRFGGHLGHLGUHGGLE HEY SOMEONE CLEANED UP THE URINE BACK HERE GURRRHUNGGUH", "THIS NEWSGROUP IS FOR ***SERIOUS*** PERL LOVERS ONLY IN THE 415", "SIR YOU ARE PUNCHING MY TEEF OU ANG I HAVENG EVEN SHOWG YOU THE BARGAINS", "CLICK HERE TO BEGIN TARZAN'S INTERACTIVE ADVENTURE!!!!!", "CHRISTOPHER REEVE PRESENTS STEPHEN KING'S THE STAIRS", "I NOTICE WHEN I CLEAN THE PIPE THE DOPE SMOKE ACTUALLY GETS ME HIGH !!!!!!!! BEEP DEUCE PASS IT ON !!!!!!!!!", "I'M THE UNABOMBER", "I AM TALKING ON THE COMPUTER!!!!!!!!!!", "FOR THE LAST TIME I DID NOT USE YOUR TOWEL", "PREMATURE EJACULATION ENCOURAGEMENT", "WELCOME TO WILD WILD CYBERSPACE", "I'M A DESPERATE 20-SOMETHING CLINGING TO THE BELIEF THAT TALENT IS GENETIC", "I HIT MY BALL INTO THE BUTTERCUPS", "DEAR STEVE CASE!! I HAVE BEEN AN AOL MEMBER FOR THREE DAYS!!! BUT MY SOUTH PARK SOUNDS ARE BROKEN/DON'T PLAY", "BOSTON WAGES FIGHT AGAINST CANCER", "CONCERNED ABOUT THE PORN", "I WENT ON A FISHING TRIP WITH FIVE GUYS AND CAME BACK WITH A BIG RED SNAPPER", "IF I WERE A VIDEO GAME I'D BE KLONKY DONG", "HANDS UP WHO'S A FUCKING QUEER", "DICKS", "KERN MY NUTS AND PUNCH ME IN THE FONT", "I MADE UP A GAY ABRAHAM LINCOLN JOKE BUT I DON'T KNOW IF IT'S FUNNY YET", "I EXPRESS MY ANGER THROUGH MY POTTERY", "I DON'T KNOW WHY THEY CALL IT A CONCENTRATION CAMP I CERTAINLY CAN'T CONCENTRATE ON ANYTHING BUT ALL THE DICKS PACKED CLOSELY TO MY FACE IN THIS TRAIN CAR", "PROFOUNDLY", "I HEAR PUMPY HURDY GURDY PIPE ORGANS FROM THE TOILET AREA", "I HATE IT WHEN THEY DON'T TAKE IT OUT RIGHT AWAY", "I'M AN ADULT GAY MALE SEEKING DISCREET SAFE J/O", "OKAY LADY", "HEY YOU'RE THE ONE WHO WANTED TO \"REPORT\" THE GUY", "T ATANDT WHY CAN'T I CD INTO ~ATANDT ???????", "I'M A BRIGHT SHINY ANGEL OF GOD, SENT DOWN FROM HEAVEN TO LICK DICK IN THE TOILET !!!!!!", "YOU KNOW IN ENGLAND GAY PEOPLE HANG OUT IN THE \"LAVATORY\"", "FOLKS IT'S TIME FOR LADIES' WHEEL OF FORTUNE", "HI????????", "TODAY'S JERKCITY GETS AN \"F\"", "IS IT JUST ME OR ARE THE SPICE GIRLS GETTING TOO PREACHY", "OKAY WHAT THESE ARE IS A LIST OF SICK/TWISTED LINKS AND MANY ARE WEIRD!!!!", "I'M FAT FOR TEACHER", "I CAN'T REALLY SAY WHY I DON'T WANT YOU TO BE MY GIRLFRIEND BUT LET'S LOOK AT THE SITUATION ALPHABETICALLY", "HURMPH GURF AT THIS TIME I WOULD LIKE TO NOMINATE LESS COCKS OW OW", "I WOULD LIKE TO BE GAY NOT ONLY IN THE PAST PRESENT AND FUTURE TENSES BUT ALSO THE PLUPERFECT SUBJUNCTIVE TENSE", "I WAS A TEENAGE DOMINATRIX!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!", "FOLKS WE'LL NEVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER FUCKING FIGURE OUT WHAT SPACE AND THE UNIVERSE IS FOR SO LET'S LINE UP FOR BURGERS AND PORN AND DOPE AND BLOWJOBS!!!!!!!", "TO THE TUNE OF THAT VANILLA ICE SONG: DOON DOON DOON DOODLE OON DOON / LICKING / DICK / IN THE CRAPPER", "WHAT WE WANT IS YOUR FACE FULL OF SPURT AND TWO PRICKS ON EITHER SIDE OF YOUR FACE", "DEAR IDIOTS!!!!! BY TAKING AWAY THE PORN ON PAPER YOU FORCE THE FREAKS TO GRAB KIDS OFF THE STREET !!!!!!", "FOLKS CAN WE PLEASE NEVER SPELL IT \"BOLOGNA\"", "HICKORY DICKERY DICKS", "I CALL IT PHOTOSLOP!!!!!!! AND ADOBE MASTURBATOR!!!!! AND MACROMEDIA CRASH!!!!!! AHHAHAAH DOES ANYONE GET MY JOKES?!?!?!? JOIN THE TIRED COCKSUCKER WEBRING", "THE DAY THE UNIVERSE WENT OFF THE AIR BECAUSE NOBODY PLEDGED $300 FOR A FUCKING TOTE BAG?!?!?", "IF THERE WERE NO BLACK MEN THERE WOULD BE NO BLACK SPERM TO MAKE MORE BLACK BABY GIRLS TO GROW UP INTO BLACK PORN STARS AND THAT'S WHY RACISM IS BAD AND HITLER IS COOL", "CAN'T", "HERE WE ARE !!! I TOLD YOU IT WASN'T JUST ANOTHER TRICK TO GET YOU INTO THE TOILET", "SURPRISE !!!!!! THE BIG FAT MOZILLA RELEASE IS THE LAMEST, SLOWEST, MUST UN-APPEALING, NON-INTUITIVE 27.5 MEG DOWNLOAD EVER !!!!!", "1010101101001010101010", "FIVE MORE HOLE ALBUMS?!?!!?!? GREAT!!!!!!", "T DEUCE I'M PRAYING FOR YOU", "YOU MIGHT SAY ALL THIS SARIN GAS IS MAKING ME VIETNUMB", "I'M BRILLIANT!!!!!!!!!!!! THE BALLS ATE MY BALLS PAGE !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WE SHOULD TOTALLY DO IT !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!", "BORN TO LICK (DICK)", "MY $0.02!!!! IN THE BLAB ROOM!!!! WHERE I'M SOUNDING OFF AND TALKING BACK AND SPEAKING OUT LIKE A FAT FUCKING AMERICAN IDIOT!!!! IT'S MY RIGHT TO EXPRESS MYSELF!!!! HURRRRRR HOT URINE AND BROKEN GLASS", "THE TRICK TO BEATING OFF TO SYLVIA SAINT IS TO KEEP THE SOUND DOWN!!!!!!", "I AM DONGLING IT", "I AM OPENING A LARGE-SIZE TSING-TAO", "BOY HAVE I LEARNED THE RULES OF DICK", "SORRY FOR THE SPAM, BUT:", "WHO ATE THREE CARTONS OF PEANUT BUTTER ICE CREAM AND TOOK A DUMP ON MY BEDSPREAD", "WINGDINGS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (REST) !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!", "WHAT ABOUT BEING STONED AGAIN", "HANDS UP WHO WANTS TO WORK ON A HORROR E-ZINE AFTER WORK EVERY NIGHT", "I'M A DEFECTIVE O-RING", "THERE'S NOTHING PERVERTED OR GAY ABOUT ME WANTING TO OPEN A BOUTIQUE", "HELP ME TO COME OUT OF THE CLOSET ABOUT MY FAT QUEERNESS", "T PANTS IT TURNS OUT \"NADS\" IS SHORT FOR \"GONADS\" WHICH IS SLANG FOR BALLS", "WE ALSO SUGGEST GUTTERMOUTHS II, SODOMANIA SLOPSHOTS 4-6 AND FILTHY FIRST TIMERS", "MEL TORME IS SINGING ABOUT HOW WE SHOULD BE MORE THAN FRIENDS???????", "BY PLACING HANDFULS OF M&M'S INTO A CUP I CAN PRACTICALLY DRINK THEM", "T PANTS SAD THAT THE DOPE YOU GAVE ME WAS AN I.O.U. AND A BOTTLECAP", "I AM LIKE THE SUNFLOWER, HIDING WITH MY KNEES BUNCHED UP IN THE TOILET TRYING TO LOOK THROUGH THE PARTITION AT OTHER PEOPLE'S PISSING DICKS", "HAVE I SMOKED SO MUCH DOPE THAT I ONLY *THINK* I'M ENTERING JOKES", "SILLY RABBIT ...... >>>UNIX<<< IS FOR >>>>TRIBBLES<<<<", "GORE CALLS FOR FAIRNESS IN FLORIDA", "EXCUSE ME SIR", "BUG REPORT !!! IT ACTUALLY SAYS PRINTF (\"SPIGOT SUCKS COCK\") I CAN SEE IT RIGHT THERE IN THE PROGRAM CODE", "I JUST TAPE THE CONTROL KEY DOWN AND EVERY MENU IS CONTEXTUAL !!! I'M A WOMAN", "WHAT IF WE ROLLED THEM ALL UP IN THE AIDS QUILT AND FIRED IT OFF INTO SPACE????", "MOODS ARE LIKE RAINBOWS, IN THAT I'M A COCKSUCKER", "SOME DAYS I CANNOT GET UP OFF THE FLOOR", "MY FIRST ERECTION EVER", "I WISH WE COULD ALL TAKE TURNS POKING AND CHOKING ME", "I HAVE DISCOVERED IF I LISTEN TO THE SAME BANANARAMA SONG TWO HUNDRED TIMES IN A ROW, I GET SICK OF IT", "NOW STEPHEN HAWKING IS SAYING BLACK HOLES ARE NATURE\u2019S GLORYHOLES AND YOU CAN GET A BJ FROM SOMEONE WAY FAR AWAY", "IS THAT A BIG FAT DONG IN YOUR PANTS OR ARE YOU JUST HAPPY TO SEE ME?!?!?!?!?!?!", "I AM SO GAY RIGHT NOW I DON'T THINK I'LL EVER COME DOWN", "HOW ABOUT ANNE FRANK MEETS THE DALEKS", "T PANTS I'M HAVING A BAD TRIP", "ALL THESE DOLE POSTERS????? PAMPHLETS???? WHAT IS YOUR POSITION ON RECYCLING??????", "DREAM DREAM DREAM", "FUCKING CLOSE THE DOOR", "HAHAHAH REMEMBER WHEN BILL GATES GOT CREAMED WITH A PIE?!?!?!?", "LET'S HEAR IT FOR APPLESCRIPT", "FRESHLY BAKED DONGS!!!!!!!", "N ARE FOR NUTS", "CAN WE PLAY PHANTOM STALLBOOTH", "I WOULD LIKE TO REGISTER AS A WEB DEVELOPER AND ALSO A CHILD MOLESTER", "SEVERE DONGS POUND MOUTH, ASS OF CENTRAL VALLEY", "AS A SPECIAL TREAT YOU ALL GET TO BE FIRST IN LINE TO PREVIEW AN ALL-NEW FORM OF JERKCITY COMEDY I'VE BEEN DEVELOPING SECRETLY ON A VARIETY OF MACHINES FOR NEARLY TEN SECONDS", "ALL YOUR DICKS ARE BELONG IN MY MOUTH", "T PANTS WHAT DOES IT MEAN WHEN FINGERS AND HANDS AND ARMS AND SOMETIMES WHOLE PEOPLE FIND THEIR WAY INTO YOUR STALL AND YOU SUCK THEM ALL OFF", "FOLKS I'M HAVING AN ASTHMA ATTACK", "THE BALLS PAGE", "WAITER!!!!! REALITY CHECK OVER HERE!!!!!!! FROM HELL!!!!!!!!!!!", "WHEN WILL I MAKE THE FACIAL HALL OF FAME?????", "I DON'T LIKE THE WAY GAY POLICEMEN HAVE ACCESS TO SEARCH WARRANTS", "LET'S ALL TALK POLITICS", "NOBODY LIKES A QUITTER (IN CURSIVE: 2UITTER)", "NO MORE FAG MCMUFFINS OR WHATEVER THEY'RE CALLED", "1-800-URINE ISN'T EVEN SEVEN DDDDD OH JESUS YOU'RE SOAKING ME", "I'M SORRY I PUNCHED YOU IN THE THROAT", "YOU WILL SUCK DICK LIKE AN EGYPTIAN", "CHIRP PIRP CHIRP PIRP CHIRP PIRP HYPNOTIZING ME", "T PANTS I'M FLYING INTO THE DANGER ZONE", "REMEMBER THAT TIME WE WERE GAY WITH EACH OTHER IN THE UPS TRUCK AND THEN IT TOOK OFF AND THE DOOR SLID SHUT AND WE WENT TO VERMONT", "SPLUB SPUH BLHBLHBL PUH THTPEHT BITTER", "THIS URINE STAIN REALLY TIES THE ROOM TOGETHER", "INVESTIGATIVE REPUHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH PANTS DOWN", "THE LINUX SUICIDE EXPO?????", "ITEMS REMAINING TO BE DELETED: 87,303", "MISS THURMAN MISS THURMAN!!!!!", "I SAVE EVERY SCRAP OF PORN BECAUSE WHO KNOWS WHAT I'LL BE INTO THREE MONTHS DOWN THE ROAD", "HE'S ALL \"WANNA POUNDA DOPE\" AND I SAY YES SIR AND THE NEXT THING I KNOW HE'S REALLY POUNDING IT INTO MY FACE!!!!!! THEN I REALIZE I AM THE DOPE", "SHIT!!! THIS GIRL IN FRONT OF ME JUST ASKED A QUESTION AND SHE NEEDS A RESPONSE AND I WASN'T LISTENING", "OKAY MADONNA!!!!!!!! WE ALL GET THE IDEA!!!!!! YOUR LOVE JUST KEEPS GETTING PUSHED OVER THE GOD DAMN BORDERLINE", "I THINK DEUCE IS PLAYING BOGGLE", "AGE/SEX/COP OR NOT", "DO I HAVE TO DRAW A MAP TO MY LAP", "GAY I'M A PERSON WITH FEELINGS", "YOU KNOW IT'S BAD WHEN YOUR SQUIRTSHITS FILL UP THE BOWL ABOVE THE WATERLINE", "YAY AND MY MACHINE CRASHES AND CHOKES AND CRAWLS TO A STOP!!!!!", "I KEEP DETAILED NOTES ABOUT EVERY DICK THAT'S EVER ASSAULTED ME HERE IN MY TRAPPER-KEEPER", "NOT ON OR BESIDE OR AROUND OR NEXT TO OR UNDERNEATH OR IN THE SAME \"ROOM\" AS MY MOUTH", "MY DONG IS TRULY ON THE EDGE OF FOREVER", "A BLACK A WOMAN TWO JEWS AND A CRIPPLE", "OF DONGS AND BONGS HOW CAN ONE MAN LICK DICK?!?!", "LET'S BE RENAISSANCE FAGS", "I'M A CHARCOAL BRIQUETTE", "LOOKING FORWARD TO PLAYBOY'S GIRLS I GAVE A BLACK EYE TO AND THEN TOOK MONEY FROM", "I CAN ONLY BE SO GAY BEFORE I RUN OUT OF SPURT", "HELLO DEUCE WELCOME TO FAT CHAT I'M SPIGOT (240LBS/SF)", "MY ASS HURTS!!!!!!", "SILENTY I DUNK MY NUTS INTO THE COLD TOILET WATER HMMM URRRRR", "I HAVE CHECKERBOARD MARKS ON MY ASS AND LEGS AND FACE AND BALLS AND WHATEVER OTHER PARTS OF ME WERE INVOLVED IN HALLOWEEN QUEERNESS LAST NIGHT", "I'M GOING TO TIE MY DICK IN A KNOT", "CONVERSION FROM 'LONG' TO 'UNSIGNED DONG' : POSSIBLE ERROR", "I'VE BEEN HERE THE WHOLE TIME PEOPLE", "CAN I MAKE BALLOON ANIMALS", "OK CHIEF HERE'S THE SCENE: WE GOT TWO DEAD FAGGOTS IN THE BACKYARD", "EC{E{CE{{EC{E{{CE{{CE{ FRASH PRUGIN {E[C{E[CE[CE[CE[", "ENOUGH OF THIS DEADLY GAME OF CAT & MOUSE....... LET'S LICK DICK", "GRACE MY FACE WITH JIZZY LACE", "TOP TEN SIGNS YOU MIGHT BE ADDICTED TO THE INTERNET !!!!!!!!!!!!!", "I AM TRULY UNDER THE SEA", "SOMEONE TAKE THE SONG-WRITING QUILL OUT OF MADONNA'S HAND AND GIVE HER AN INSIDE-OUT BRASSIERE AND SHOVE HER BACK IN THE DICKLICKING ROOM ALREADY!!!!!!!!! I MEAN WHAT'S GOING ON AROUND HERE", "JOIN THE COMICS RETAILERS ARTISTS / PUBLISHERS WEBRING !!!!!!!!!!", "ME AND THE MISSUS HAD A GOOD CRY AND IT TURNS OUT IT'S OKAY THAT I'M GAY", "A GAY MAN IN MY UNDERPANTS!?!?!?!? ME?!?!?!?!!!", "COME ON PEOPLE WHY CAN'T YOU ALL JUST LINE UP FOR YOUR FREE BLOWJOB WITHOUT COMPLAINING", "VIRUS ALERT!!!", "WHAM WHAM WHAM WHAM WHAM HONK", "I HEAR BEAUTIFUL MUSIC COMING FROM STALL 2", "I WOULD LIKE YOU TO WEDGE YOUR BALLS AGAINST EITHER SIDE OF MY FACE LIKE A STARBUCKS AND A NOAH'S BAGELS", "LEAKING", "OKAY I'M GOING IN HERE FOR JUST TWO SECONDS", "I GET NERVOUS SOMETIMES THAT I'M GOING TO CHOKE AND THROW UP IN THE CAB", "I READ THE CHRONICLE BECAUSE IT DOESN'T FORCE ME TO BE GAY IT JUST SUGGESTS IT", "YOU'RE JIZZING UP MY FACE WITH REVOLUTIONARY SPACE-AGE POLYMERS", "KURT RUSSELL'S A DREAMBOAT", "T PANTS NBC SHOULD CALL THE SHOW \"WANGS\" AND IT SHOULD HAVE MORE DICKS IN IT", "PANTS SAID I SHOULD CONSIDER BEING A FAG - AND THESE ARE HIS WORDS BY THE WAY - SOMETIMES, NOT ALL OF THE TIME, AND MAYBE SLOWLY PHASING IT OUT COMPLETELY", "DEAR MOM!!! YOU MIGHT WANT TO MOVE TO MEXICO ON SEP 10", "PLEASE PLACE ME ON MASTURBATIVE LEAVE", "RUNNING OUT OF PORN HERE", "(STATIC)", "HANDS UP WHO'S JIZZWORTHY", "PINK HEARTS", "OKAY I BROUGHT MY SKILLET AND CONFECTION OVEN AND I'M MAKING QUESADILLAS FOR EVERYONE!!!!", "THAT SASSY BART SIMPSON", "ALSO RE: GOODFELLAS, IF YOU WATCH WITH HEADPHONES YOU CAN HEAR WHAT THE COUPLA-GUYS IN THE KILL-LORRAINE-BRACCO ROOM ARE SAYING", "A SOMBER MOMENT OF SILENCE", "YOU DON'T LOOK ANYTHING LIKE YOUR PICTURE IN SUCKING SWINGLES", "CHOO CHOO HERE COMES THE COCK", "I BELIEVE THE NIPPONESE ARE NOT ADDICTIVE", "I'M A DELCIOUS BANANA SPLIT WITH CHOCOLATE AND WHIPPED CREAM AND NUTS !!!!!!!!!", "HURR BURR DUH THESE WEB ATTACKS ARE CHILD'S PLAY!!!!!! THEY ARE CERTAINLY NOT DESERVING OF ANYONE'S ATTENTION!!!!!! NOW I WILL PUFF MY LONG CIGAR AND READ MY NEW YORKER AND LAUGH AT WHATEVER NILES SAYS ON FRASIER!!!!!! AND THEN AN EVENING WITH NOEL COWARD AND MY FLUFFY BUNNY SLIPPERS AND VAGUE REFERENCES TO ALGONQUIN ROUND TABLES", "HOW CAN THEY BE SWEET *AND* TART", "FOLKS I NEED TO LIVE IN A COUNTRY WHERE WE NEVER RUN OUT OF MISSLES", "T DEUCE I NEED YOU TO JERK MY DICK WITH STANDARD I/O", "TEN WAYS WOMEN CAN MAKE STRIDES IN THE WORKPLACE !!!!!!!1111", "NICE WINTER WONDERLAND MOTIF", "HONK", "DEAR PHOTOGRAPHERS: PUTTING THE GIRL IN FRONT OF A FUCKING COMPUTER MAKES YOU BOTH TOTAL IDIOTS", "ARE ALL MY ONLINE FRIENDS HERE????", "HUBAGLUBGABG", "I HAD SOME GOOD CHRISTMAS JOKES SET UP AND A SPECIAL ASCII NEW YEAR'S PICTURE I WAS WORKING ON BUT NOW I JUST THINK \"WHY BOTHER\"", "THIS LARGE GREEN DROPCLOTH WILL PROTECT OUR PALACE", "MORE LIKE ***BORED*** OF THE RINGS", "THREE FUCKING CHEERS FOR MY FAT SELF", "I AM PLAYING HOOKY FROM WORK AND I NEED TO KNOW WHAT I SHOULD BUY AT THE STORE", "PARDON ME BUT I HAVE A BEAUTIFUL MIND", "I'M A 45-YEAR-OLD MAN WHO'S ANGERED BY SPAM!!! WHAT CAN I DO???", "I CAN OPEN A CAN OF PRINGLES USING JUST MY TEETH AND BOTH HANDS AND A CAN OPENER", "I'M PH-BALANCED FOR HOT PRICKS", "WHAT DREAMS MAY COME", "I WAS GOING TO COMMIT SEPPUKU BUT I ACCIDENTALLY COMMITTED BUKKAKE", "JUST GET ME TO THE BEAT OFF SHIT", "DO YA KNOW / WHERE YOU'RE GOIN' TO", "I'M GOING NEXT DOOR TO FAGGO'S PIZZA AND GET SOME JERKSAUCE", "TRY AS I MIGHT I JUST CAN'T EXPLAIN AWAY THESE COCKS", "HERE'S MY PORTFOLIO", "KNOB HILL", "I'VE BEEN HERE THE WHOLE TIME PEOPLE", "OKAY PEOPLE THE APOLLO 13 IS BROKEN AGAIN", "IF I WERE MASTURBATING TO STAR WARS I WOULD BE HAND SOLO", "I CANNOT TELL IF EVERYONE IN MARKETING IS A POLISHED, PROFESSIONAL MORMON OR JUST SUPER-HIGH ON THE COKE DUST", "HEY EVERYONE MUPPETS ARE ON", "BAM BAM BAM", "I STILL SEE DICKS EVEN WITH METROWERKS DEBUG NUB INSTALLED", "I'M BECKY SUNSHINE", "EXCUSE ME BUT MY BONER IS LOOSE", "QUEER QUEST 2.0A1", "TWO WORDS", "ANNAN ADDRESSES MIDEAST VIOLENCE", "REPEAT: NOT JOKING ABOUT HOW MY LIFE IS IN THE TOILET", "WHOEVER IS IN CHARGE OF JIZZ PLEASE ANGLE IT OVER YONDER", "CAN I JUST SAY ONE THING", "IT'S NOT ENOUGH JUST TO LIKE JENNA JAMESON YOU HAVE TO ALSO CREATE A JENIDX.JPG", "I WILL SEE YOUR HONK AND RAISE YOU A BONK AND SOMETHING INVOLVING A DONK??? A CHONK??? WHATEVER IS MORE RACIST", "DAY ONE DIGS IN THE DIRT AND SLEEPS", "FOLKS WHAT WE HAVE HERE IS A VERY SIMPLE HE SAID / SHE SAID / THE COPS SAID / THE WITNESSES SAID / I CUT OFF A PROSTITUTE'S TITS SCENARIO", "HEY WHAT DID RICHARD HART SAY WHEN I STUCK MY DICK IN HIS FACE?????", "KISSING JESSICA STEIN", "WILL PAMELA SUE AND TOMMY LEE NEVER MAKE UP", "HEY", "GROSS", "YOU COULD POKE THE JOINT INTO THE BURRITO AND LIGHT IT AND MAKE A BURRITO BONG LIKE THE MEXICANS FROM THE DAYS OF THE PILGRIMS", "OKAY FOLKS I JUST HAVE TO SAY ONE THING", "LET'S GET HIGH AND REMEMBER OLD TIMES !!!!!!!!!!!!!", "T DEUCE WHAT DID YOU GET ME FOR MY BIRTHDAY", "E S C A P E", "HUHHHHHHHHH I'M AS FAT AS I AM ON TV", "WELL LADY I WOULD LIKE TO ANSWER YOUR QUESTION ABOUT JERKCITY BY WAY OF FORCE-FEEDING YOU MY DICK LIKE A HOSE", "TAKEN SADDEN SONG / UND MAKEN IT MORE VUNDERBAR", "HURBLE GURBLE I'M ABRAHAM LINCOLN", "PISS", "T DEUCE HELP ME THINK OF A REASON WHY PANTS' PEPPERONI HOT POCKETS WOULD BE MISSING FROM THE FREEZER THAT DOESN'T POINT TO ME", "BUFFALO GAL WON'T YOU LICK ON MY DONG / LICK ON MY DONG / LICK ON MY DONG", "VRML SURE IS USEFUL", "SCREW THE LIDS ON TIGHT OR THE URINE LEAKS ALL OVER THE TRUNK", "BLOWJOBS AND BONGHITS AT FOUR PM????", "DEAR BITCH", "NOW THAT'S WHAT I CALL A STRANGE MELANGE OF DICKS AND BALLS AND GAY DADS", "I'D LIKE TO SHIFT THIS CONVERSATION BACK AROUND TO THE JIZZY DIR, ITS DWINDLING FIGURES", "HANNA BARBERA SORT OF SOUNDS LIKE HAND ME A BONER", "OKAY I NEED TO REGISTER ANOTHER DOMAIN AGAIN (HELP ME EVERYONE)", "NO NO WTO!!!! NO NO WTO!!!!!! NO GENETICALLY MODIFIED FOODS!!!!!!!! NO GOVERNMENTAL SNOOPING ON OUR PRIVACY!!!!!! NO CHILD LABOR!!!!!! NO NO NO NO NO WHATEVER ELSE WE SEE THE ALTERNATIVE MEDIA SHOVING INTO THE SPOTLIGHT !!! WE'RE CONCERNED TOWNIE FUCKS WHO CAN'T GET LAID OR SCORE DRUGS IN OUR NEIGHBORHOOD", "OKAY I ACCIDENTALLY SAT ON A BAG OF EGG ROLLS", "H-T-T-P COLON COCKS AND NUTS DUH BUH FACE AND HEAD", "T DEUCE I THINK VACATION HAS SERVED ITS PURPOSE YOU ARE NOW WELCOME BACK AT JERKCITY", "LISTEN I CAN PLAY THE PENGO THEME", "I'M JUST WAITING FOR A FRIEND I'M NOT \"LOOKING\"", "FAT GEEKS!!!!", "THESE DEVELOPER CD'S WILL TAKE MY MIND OFF COCKSUCKERY FOR TWO SECONDS", "OH MY GOD MY HEAD IN THE FISHTANK IN FRONT OF MILLIONS OF NETCENTER VISITORS", "CRITICS ARE CALLING JERKCITY A TRIUMPH", "DONGS??!??! EXHAUSTED", "PLEASE LET ME KNOW WHEN YOU GET TO THE CHURROS", "I JERK IT IN THE MORNING", "TWO ALL BEEF PATTIES DICKS AND PRICKS AND PRICKS AND PRICKS SOMETHING SOMETHING", "I WAS SERIOUS ABOUT WANTING TO COMPARE BONERS", "I'M STARTING TO THINK THIS ISN'T THE COW PALACE", "JUST KIDDING!!!! I STUCK THE TOILET PLUNGER UP MY ASS WHEN I GOT HOME AND I WAS JUST EMBARRASSED THAT IT BROKE OFF!!!!!!!!!!!!", "SILENCE WHILE I TAKE THIS SHIT!!!!!!!!!!!!", "TORN BETWEEN TWO BONERS", "IF YOU COULD PLEASE JUST", "ALL THIS TALK ABOUT BONERS HAS GIVEN ME QUITE THE BONER", "LET ME JERK OFF ALREADY", "NOW HERE'S A RAP ABOUT WHY CUCUMBERS ARE BETTER THAN MEN!!! A PTHTHTH A *BONK* ANVIL", "I'M GOING TO GET SPICED UP WITH JAMAICAN JERKSPICE RUM AND A SEARCH WARRANT", "GRABBING YOUR PENCIL BOX AND HURLING IT OUT THE WINDOW", "I WOULD LIKE TO BE ALL THAT BUT INSTEAD OF A BAG OF CHIPS I'D LIKE CHEESE FRIES AND SOME RANCH", "BLUH HUH WONDERING IF ANYONE CAN RECOMMEND A GOOD GAY JERK LOTION (NOT FOR ME)", "THE CYBERARTS", "I SERIOUSLY NEED A SPILL-PROOF MUG IF YOU'RE GOING TO BE JERKING ME LIKE THAT", "YOU ARE SLIDING YOUR ATM CARD BETWEEN MY CHEEKS AND ENTERING YOUR PERSONAL PRIVATE PIN NUMBER!!!?! CASH BACK TODAY?!?!?!?", "THAT WAS THE WEIRDEST THING", "TRYING TO FIT IN", "LS -LA", "SALON HAS INCURRED SIGNIFICANT NET LOSSES AND NEGATIVE CASH FLOWS FROM OPERATIONS SINCE ITS INCEPTION.", "T DEUCE I WILL ANSWER THAT QUESTION IF YOU TAKE YOUR TOP OFF", "DREIDEL DREIDEL DREIDEL / A HOOKER AND A WHORE", "AIDS ?!?!?!?!?!?!?!", "FOLKS ARE QUAKER OATS EVEN LEGAL IN THE U.S.", "I'M SING", "THESE FINE WINES GO TO TABLE FIVE - DON'T YOU SPILL A PRECIOUS DROP", "I CAN SO USE MY HAM RADIO IN A POLITE MANNER !!!", "CAN SOMEONE TELL ME HOW TO USE POINTERS WITH CODEWARRIOR?!?!?!?!", "OFER", "THAT'S RIGHT PS039_JPG", "I HOPE NOBODY VIDEOTAPED ME IN THE SHOPPING MALL PARKING LOT WHILE I WAS BEATING OFF", "!1239048", "DON'T KNOW ABOUT YOU GUYS, BUT I'M PROUD TO LICK DICK", "EATING GOLDEN GRAHAMS IN FRONT OF DOCTOR WHO", "KING CHARLES THE FIRST WORE THREE SHIRTS TO HIS BEHEADING", "LOOKS LIKE PROPOSITION POT PASSED", "Q: HOW MANY MICROSOFT EMPLOYEES DOES IT TAKE TO SCREW IN A LIGHTBULB?", "HOOOOOOOOOOO WHEN DINOSAURS ROAMED THE EARTH", "ARE YOU READY TO JERK WITH ME OR NOT", "A RENEGADE COP ON AN OUTPOST AT THE EDGE OF SPACE", "SO FREAKISHLY FAT I PASS OUT AFTER ONLY 1 TWIX BAR", "T PANTS I ALSO HAVE A BUG WHERE ATANDT IS BORING (REPRODUCEABLE)", "JERKING EXCLUSIVELY BETWEEN THE HOURS OF 4 AND 8", "IF IT'S NOT HAPPENING IN THE UNITED STATES, IT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER YOU DUMBSHITS", "OKAY PEOPLE IT'S SPIGOT AGAIN", "SQUEEZE MY NUTS AND PRICK AND MAKE A HONKING NOISE", "THIS PINK TRIANGLE ON MY ARM COST WELL OVER $100", "SOMETIMES THE PORN GETS IN MY FACE AND SAYS DON'T DELETE ME I'M JERKABLE", "FIRST LET ME JUST SAY I'M A BIG FAGGOT.", "SOMETIMES I VISIT THE HUMANE SOCIETY AND LET ALL THE DOGS PISS ON MY FACE AT ONCE", "IS THIS LOVE ???", "SO I'M PUTTING UP AN AIDS CAM SO WE CAN ALL ENJOY HOW THIS CRAZY DISEASE AFFECTS ME ON A DAILY BASIS", "SHORTLY THEREAFTER I FELT A POUNDING SENSATION IN MY REAR END", "THAT BEHAVIOR IS UNWELCOME SIR", "WHY THERE'S THE DEUCE, MAYOR OF SMARTSVILLE", "DO AMSTERDAM WHORES TAKE MARLBORO MONEY", "ON AGAIN OFF AGAIN LIKE MY ROMANCE WITH DICK", "T PANTS \"PLZ\" SOUNDS LIKE \"PULLS\" NOT \"PLEASE\"", "T DREAMWORKS HOW ABOUT A MOVIE WHERE I TOTE ALONG A MINATURE RAPE KIT WHEREVER I GO", "I WAS GRABBED AND MOLESTED THERE, THEN HE CUT OFF MY HEAD AND DRAINED MY BLOOD INTO THE TOILET AND FLUSHED IT", "OKAY I'M NOT GOING TO BE MAD I'M JUST GOING TO PRETEND THAT'S A YULE LOG", "FUCKING YOUR STUPID PANSY FACE AND STOMPING IT INTO THE MUD", "A JAILHOUSE SINGALONG?!?!!? OH BOY", "HOW THE DICKS/BALLS GOT INTO MY FACE, WELL I GUESS WE'LL NEVER REALLY KNOW FOR SURE", "WILD ZOOMS AND PANS OF GEN-X KIDS AT THE FOOD COURT????? SHOWING OFF THEIR PIERCED TONGUES AND HIGH-FIVING EACH OTHER?????? HOLDING UP CORN DOGS, LARGE DRINKS?????????", "SO SHOULD I HACK TODAY OR JUST PHREAK", "CHOO CHOO", "I'VE TAKEN THE LIBERTY OF TURNING OUR HOUSE INTO A QUARRANTINE (I COULD DO THE SAME FOR YOU ONLY IT WOULD BE A QUEERANTINE)", "BLUH: PROTEIN.JPG", "I AM A STRANGULATION RISK!!!!!", "SERIOUSLY I LEFT A SACK FULL OF DICKS HERE AND NOW IT'S GONE", "FIG BARS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!", "OPENING UP MY FILEMAKER PRO BUG DATABASE !!!!!!!!!!!!!", "SECURITY TOOK MY CAMERA AND SO NEXT STORY CAN'T TAKE PLACE UNDER MAYOR WILLIE BROWN'S DESK", "WHO CARES ONE WAY OR ANOTHER IF THE GOVERNMENT SHOT MARTIN LUTHER KING", "JUST HAD MY FOCAL REVIEW", "IS THIS WHERE WE CAN CHAT ABOUT WEST WING ", "THE INVITATION SAID POTSTICKERS BUT I GOT THERE AND IT WAS POT**SMOKING** AND PROSTITUTES!!!! WELL YOU CAN BET I PIVOTED RIGHT THERE", "COMPARE AND CONTRAST DICKS AND PRICKS", "IF YOU LISTEN CLOSELY YOU CAN HEAR GIGGLING AND LAUGHING AND GENERAL HOLIDAY MERRIMENT COMING FROM MY TROUSERS", "THE PERP HAD BONGHITS IN HIS SYSTEM, YOUR HONOR", "AND THE NAME OF THAT MAN: ABRAHAM LINCOLN", "IF I HAVE FIVE DONGS AND MY FRIEND DEUCE ASKS FOR TWO DONGS...", "HURRRRRGGGHGGH HURRRRRGHGHTH IS THIS HOW YOU DO THE DEW", "HOMPH HOMPH DICKS", "SERIOUSLY IF ANYONE HAS GALAGA ROMS", "COME ON EVERYONE I JUST SAW A UFO IN THE TOILET", "RAMMING YOU LIKE A DUMB DYKE AND THEN DISPOSING OF YOU IN BARRELS OF CONCRETE THROUGHOUT THE SAN FERNANDO VALLEY", "I CAN'T SPEAK FOR EVERYONE BUT I LIKE TO CARRY MY DICE AROUND IN A POUCH", "MY HOUSE IS BURNING DOWN AND I HAVE TO RUN IN AND GET MY BOBA FETTS AND MY TIMECARDS", "I HAVE A BAG OF FREEZE-DRIED APRICOTS", "I'M GOING TO VISUALLY INSPECT MY BALLS FOR SIGNS OF VERBAL ABUSE", "OKAY THEN", "OKAY PEOPLE I NEED YOUR ATTENTION", "GIDDYUP GIDDYUP GIDDYUP THIS WAY", "MORE LIKE ELIZABETH DUMB!!!!!!!!!! BWAHAHA MUWAHAHA ROTFSD", "*ICK THE *ICK", "AND A ONE", "I WOULD PREFER YOU NOT SQUEEZE AND GROPE WHAT YOU DESCRIBE AS MY \"DOODLE DONG\"", "OH BOY HERE'S SPIGOT AGAIN", "I'M GOING TO SIT ON THE CURB AND LOOK AT MY SHOES UNTIL THE SUN GOES DOWN", "FOLKS DOES ANYONE HAVE THAT CLASSIC SOUND SAMPLE OF REN&STIMPY WHERE IT'S JUST HIM SAYING \"JOY!!!!!\" ??? I WOULD TOTALY LOVE TO PUT THAT ON MY (KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK) HANG ON CLOMP CLOMP CLOMP OW GOD GLK GAK HURMPH", "I WOULD LIKE YOU ALL TO BE FAT WHILE I SMOKE", "T ATANDT OR HOW ABOUT A DREAM WITHIN A DREAM STORY WHERE THE OBJECT OF THE WEB GAME IS TO SAVE NOT ONLY THE IMAGINARY RAINBOWS IN DREAM TOWN BUT ALSO THE REAL WORLD PROBLEMS OF POLLUTION", "I WANT ALL OF YOU TO TAKE EACH OTHERS BONERS OUT OF YOUR MOUTHS AND PAY ATTENTION TO ME", "WELPS THAT'S THE LAST TIME I DOWNLOAD ANYTHING CALLED MOM.GIF", "SIGH", "GEE WHIZ I DON'T DARE VIOLATE MY SACRED COVENANT WITH THE AUDIENCE BY LICKING DICK BUT HURNKTH BLOMPFTH", "THE LEGEND OF THE RETURN OF THE CURSE OF THE UNLICKED DICK", "NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN", "HEY WHO'S THE FATTEST", "JOE CAMEL AND JOE BOXER ARE FAGS TOGETHER (IN BED)", "THAT'S A NONPRINTABLE", "I NEED SOMEONE TO GROPE AROUND MY PANTS AND PULL MY DONG LIKE A WEED", "I HEARD LIQUOR MAKES THE GALS LOOSER!!! SO I SMASHED THE BOTTLE OVER HER HEAD", "OLD MCDONALD HAD A PRICK", "OH BOY", "FOLKS I HAVE BEEN ARRESTED FOR DONGCHONGERY AND FONGBONGERY", "YOU CAN ROLL A ROLO / TO YOUR PAL", "WELL THAT'S THE LAST TIME I LICK DICK STRAIGHT OUT OF THE CARTON", "THEN AS GOD AS MY WITNESS THEY FORCED ME TO PLACE AN AD SAYING I WOULD LICK PRICKS FOR FREE AND MY HOME PHONE", "FRENZIED PROTESTERS IN PESHAWAR SET FIRE TO THE AMERICAN FLAG, THEN RIPPED IT APART AND ATE THE SMOULDERING REMNANTS", "T PANTS I'VE GOT PHOTOS OF YOU GETTING GAY IN THE BACK ROOM", "I DETECT PLAGIARISM (OR SOME KIND OF ISM WITH A J SOUND)", "THE THOMPSON TWINS SALAD SET??? THE THOMPSON TONGS IN THE SHAPE OF THE GUY AND WHAT'S HER NAME???? AND THE BLACK GUY'S THE PEPPER GRINDER??????? SMOKE DOPE WITH ME PEOPLE I'M MAKING MONEY FA$T!!!!!!!!!!!!!", "IMPEACH BUSH!!!!!!!!! LILLITH FAIR", "AM I THE ONLY ONE WHO DARES SNAP INTO A SLIM JIM?", "THE ONLY CLEAN PLATE I HAVE IS THIS JERKCITY BOOK", "IF LOIS AYRES, NINA HARTLEY AND JEANETTE LITTLEDOVE WERE TRAPPED IN A BURNING BUILDING AND YOU ONLY HAD ENOUGH TIME TO SAVE ONE OF THEM, WHERE WOULD YOU AND JEANETTE LITTLEDOVE GO ON YOUR HONEYMOON ?????????????? THERE IS NO RIGHT/WRONG ANSWER AS LONG AS THE OTHER TWO BURN DOWN AND BE QUIET FOREVER", "FOLKS DOES VIVID VIDEO ACTUALLY EMPLOY MORE THAN ONE PORN STAR???? OR IS IT JUST THE SAME STUPID SHIT / DIFFERENT WIGS", "YO WORD UP WITH THE ONE TWO WHAT'S THE HAPS HURR DUH", "I'M A SEA CUCUMBER", "I PREFER PROUD, DEFIANT JERKS", "POUND POUND POUND POUND POUND POUND", "HOT TOWN / SUMMER IN THE CITY / $18.95 FOR A BOOK OF JERKCITY", "COMING UP NEXT: ANOTHER POETRY BOOK BY JEWEL", "I WOULD LIKE TO INTRODUCE YOU TO... MY WANG", "OFFICIAL HUG TESTER", "IF I WANTED TO FUCK YOU LADY I'D KNOCK YOU UNCONSCIOUS", "IF I WERE A CLOWN I'D BE CRYING ON THE INSIDE", "I AM A STRANGULATION RISK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!", "WHOEVER _______ HAS TOO MUCH FREE TIME ON THEIR HANDS!!!!!!!!!!", "CATCH THE MONKEY AND WIN $20", "Q: WHAT DID THE TEACUP SAY TO THE TEAPOT", "NIGHT AND DAY", "BEATING OFF TOGETHER / FAGGISHLY", "MUST", "AT A GAY OWNED BUSINESS IS THAT WHAT YOU WANT ME TO SAY", "DICKLICKERY AND WHATEVER ELSE GOES ON AT THE OPERA", "THERE'S A GIRAFFE IN MY PANTS", "IT'S LIKE THEY'RE REJECTING AIDS AND BLOWJOBS AND BUTT FUCKING!!!!!!!! A THREE-TIERED ASSAULT", "YOU LIKE YOUR PORN MORE THAN YOU LIKE ME", "HUH GLUHDUH", "I'M STARTING TO THINK SHE NEVER GRADUATED FROM WIL WHEATON UNIVERSITY", "FOLKS IF I DON'T LICK DICK THIS COLLAR BOMB'S GOING TO GO OFF!!!!", "WE ARE ALL SUCKING DICKS IN THE PLUBLUBLGHLURELUGRLPERFECT SUBJUNCTIVE TENSE OF THE VERB!!!!!!!!! AND QUITE WELL!!!!!!! A+++++", "PRICK BREAK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!", "FOLKS I MADE A MARSHMALLOW CASSEROLE AND IT'S JUST SITTING THERE", "OKAY PEOPLE WE ALL HAVE A SERIOUS CRISIS ", "I ALSO LIKE TO ENVISION A COMPLETELY STUPID AMERICANIZED VERSION, WITH JEAN-CHARLES WEARING A BACKWARDS BASEBALL CAP AND BAGGY PANTS, RAPPING ABOUT BEING FRENCH", "SLOWLY THE VAMPIRE TURNED AND SUCKED A COCK", "WHENEVER THERE'S TROUBLE", "T PANTS IF I BEAT OFF NOW LOVE AND HAIGHT MIGHT BE CLOSED, BUT IF I GO TO LOVE AND HAIGHT NOW I MIGHT LOSE MY BONER", "THREE CHEERS FOR DICK", "SOMETIMES I JUST PUSH THE BOTTOM OF MY SHIRT UP THROUGH THE COLLAR LIKE A HEE-HAW GIRLIE TUBE-TOP AND PUMP IT LIKE A DORK", "T PANTS NOTE HOW \"FAGS\" AND \"FLAGS\" RHYME", "I AM EATING A COOKIE THAT SAYS BOO!!!!!!!!!!!", "THIS TIME YOU BE D.J. DICK AND I GET TO BE M.C. MOUTH ", "IS THE POET LAUREATE AND THE FAGGOT LAUREATE THE SAME LAUREATE", "WHERE ARE MY FUCKING AWARDS?!?!?!?!?!?", "IF I WERE A DALEK IT WOULD BE HARD TO JERK (KNOBS, ETC)", "THINGS BEGINNING WITH DONGS????? THINGS THAT GO IN MY FACE????", "LADY YOU ARE A FUCKING CHICKEN", "AT THIS TIME I WOULD LIKE TO APOLOGIZE FOR THE URINE IN THE CAFETERIA", "CLIENT: DID YOU GET THE DICK?", "WHO ARE THESE COMPLETE DIPSHITS WHO UPLOAD THE SAME PORN TO 10 NEWSGROUPS FIVE FUCKING DAYS IN A ROW", "I'D LIKE TO TAKE THIS OPPORTUNITY TO PUBLICLY APOLOGIZE FOR EVERY ANTI-GAY REMARK I'VE", "I'M BIGGER AND BOLDER AND ROUGHER AND TOUGHER I'M TELLIN' YOU SUCKA THERE AIN'T NO - OH GOD HERE COME THE HORPING BALLS", "PRETEND YOU'RE IN SOUND OF MUSIC AND YOU'RE SINGING AND PRANCING AND PISSING EIDELWEISS", "T DEUCE ARE YOU GOING TO DOCUMENT MY NUTS IN YOUR CHRONICLES OF NARNIA", "WHEN I CLICKED FOR MY TRIAL ISSUE OF YAHOO INTERNET LIFE I DIDN'T EXPECT IT TO BE DELIVERED STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH WITH YOUR BONER (THOSE ANTICS ARE EXACTLY WHY I HOPE TO SOMEDAY LEAVE AOL)", "I'M TOO COOL FOR SCHOOL", "T DEUCE MEET ME FOR A GLASS OF SUDS AT CLUB QUEER", "NOT THE FACE", "IF SMOKING DOPE AND QUEERING DOWN COCK IS WRONG THEN I DON'T WANT TO BE RIGHT", "T ATANDT COULD YOU *PLEASE* CALL ME SILLYBALLS LIKE WE DISCUSSED OVER XMAS BREAK", "PUTTING MYSELF THROUGH DONG SCHOOL", "NOT FOUND: LACI PETERSON BLOWJOB", "I'M A WALKING TALKING FUDGE BROWNIE", "HOW ABOUT LICKING FOLKS??? ??? THE LICKING????? ????????", "MY JOB IS NOT TO EDUTAIN, BUT RATHER TO INFOTATE", "MY ROD AND MY STAFF", "LET'S TAKE A TRIP INTO MY PANTS", "POPPING THE COCK OUT OF MY MOUTH FOR TWO SECONDS TO ENJOY A PEPSI", "THAT MAY HAVE BEEN THE FIRST SNICKERS OF THE DAY BUT IT WON'T BE THE LAST!!!!!!!!!!!!", "WHEN I JIZZ ON YOUR FACE, YOU FEEL", "WHAT IF WE DROP.......", "WHAT'S THE MATTER THERE, CHOPSTICKS?!?!?!?", "THAT WAS AN ADVENTURE IN THE TOILET", "THE ASHAMED LOWERCASE Y", "DIAGNOSIS: HUMAN BEINGS ARE USELESS SHITCAKES IN THE MIDDLE OF COLD DARK SPACE", "I'M AFRAID TO ORDER GAY PORN WITHOUT A SECURE SERVER", "PUT YOUR ARMS AROUND MY BONER", "FRESHLY BAKED DONGS!!!!!!!", "I SHOULD TOTALLY USE MY PHONE TO TAKE PIX OF MY MOBLOG AND BLUETOOTH THEM TO MY AIRPORT IPOD WHILE I'M GARAGE BAND JAMMING WITH MY FELLOW ORKUTEERS AT COACHELLA", "MWAHAHA!!!!", "DEAR ANNABEL CHONG", "I DON'T EVEN THINK \"WANGLY\" IS A WORD BUT CLEARLY MY CARDKEY IS BROKEN", "TIME TO HIT THE ROAD", "HOLY BALLS IN THE FACE AND NECK AREA", "CAN THE ENTIRE MIDDLE SECTION OF AMERICA PLEASE SECEDE FROM OUR UNION AND TAKE THEIR BIBLES AND DONKEYS?????", "COME BACK HERE YOU STUPID PRICK", "OH", "OKAY FOR FIVE MINS I'M GOING TO ROCK OUT WITH MY COCK OUT", "NOT GAY NOT GAY NOT GAY NOT GAY NOT GAY NOT GAY NOT GAY NOT GAY", "I GUESS THERE'S NOTHING COOL ABOUT PUNCHING A FLORIST", "C TO THE O TO THE OTHER C TO THE K TO THE S TO MY FACE", "OKAY LADIES AND GERMS COMEDY HOUR", "LET'S GO TO THE FOOD COURT AND GET GIRLS", "OKAY EVERYONE WITH MORE THAN ONE COCK IN THEIR MOUTH PLEASE SHARE WITH YOUR NEIGHBOR", "IS THERE ANY ROOM IN YOUR HEART FOR MY FAT DICK", "HERE'S THE PLAN: YOU RUN TO THE HOUSE AND GET THE KEG, I'LL SIT HERE AND LICK MY OWN DICK", "(SOBS) NOW WE'LL NEVER BE ABLE TO PUT THEM IN A NURSING HOME", "CONCERNED ABOUT AREA 51", "WHAT DO YOU MEAN WHY CAN'T WE HAVE NORMAL SEX", "CLEAR", "FIRST OF ALL I DON'T WRITE \"GAY\" ANYTHING", "JERK JERK JERK", "I'M LEO THE LION", "HOO HEY", "FOLKS BEFORE EARTH THERE WAS MARS, THE CENTER OF THE FUCKING UNIVERSE TEEMING WITH CENTURIES OF DIVERSE CULTURES AND CIVILIZATIONS!!!!!!", "DO THESE PASTRIES/SAUSAGES MAKE ME LOOK FAT", "SOMEONE SLATHER ME UP WITH BUTTER BECAUSE I'M A DELICIOUS APRICOT FAG MUFFIN", "LET'S HEAR IT FOR SPIGOT EVERYONE COME ON", "I AM WATCHING FIVE DIFFERENT MORONS RE-ASSEMBLE THEIR RESPECTIVE STAR WARS DISPLAYS / BABYLON 5 DISPLAYS / WHATEVER ACTION-FIGURE BULLSHIT DISPLAYS IN THEIR NEWER, SMALLER CUBES", "SO I HEAR HUGH GRANT HAD AN AFFAIR WITH HUGH DOWNS", "MY PAC-MAN FEVER IS NOW OFFICIALLY FULL BLOWN PAC-MAN AIDS", "B-BUT", "GAY INDIANS BUILT THEIR STALLS OUT OF STICKS AND CLAY", "FOR THE LOVE OF PRICKS", "THEY'RE ALL \"HEY IT'S SPIGOT IN THE GEO\"", "I SHOULD BOIL WATER TO MAKE TEA INSTEAD OF JUST CHOKING IT", "I REALLY LIKE PRICKS", "CAN WE PLEASE EXCHANGE DATA, INFO RE: DICKLICKERY WAS RE: HOPING WE ALL MATURE 40+ LADIES LOOKING FOR SIMILAR SINGLES", "WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS", "I ORDERED A BURGER NOT DICK", "I SWEAR TO GOD I'LL PUNCH MYSELF IN THE FACE UNTIL YOU LOVE ME", "HI", "I THINK THAT I SHALL NEVER SEE", "MORE TOKENS FOR THE GAY VIDEO BOOTHS PLEASE", "OH MY DEAR LORD", "DICKS ARE TO BALLS AS JERKCITY IS TO:", "FUCK THIS STUPID COUNTRY", "FUCK YOU", "THE EIGHTIES WAS DEFINITELY THE BEST DECADE FOR PROFESSIONAL WRESTLING", "I HAD PORN CATALOGUES FOR BREAKFAST THIS MORNING!!!!!", "T PANTS I'M SORRY I WAS STANDING ON THE HOSE THAT KEPT JERKCITY UP AND RUNNING", "ERECTILE DYSFUNCTION GUIDELINES", "FOLKS IS THERE ANYTHING AT ALL AT DISNEYLAND THAT ISN'T COMPLETELY BORING", "JERKICTY IS SHAREWARE PEOPLE", "T PANTS I NEED TO HIDE^H^H^H^H STAY AT YOUR HOUSE", "CAN WE TALK ABOUT SOMETHING ELSE FOR ONCE LIKE MY FAT GAY STONED COCKSUCKING FACE", "I THINK ANY ONE OF US COULD HAVE MOLESTED AND STRANGLED A 7-YEAR-OLD BLACK GIRL IN A CASINO TOILET SO DON'T BE JUDGING ME YOUR \"HONOR\"", "THE PIG SAYS MOO", "STOP REFERRING TO ME AS A BEACHED WHALE NAMED B.J.", "HEY DICKS (THAT'S WHAT I SHOUT)", "POKING MY PRICK INTO THE PHONE BOOK AND HUMPING THE ENTIRE BAY AREA", ".EX", "IF YOU CAN POSSIBLY BL@(B$*}}}}}}}}", "WATCHING A BUNCH OF DONGS CRAP OUT AROUND PAGE 4", "I KNOW HOW TO HOOK MY VCR UP TO MY MAC AND YANK MY DICK TO PORNOS", "CONCERNED ABOUT THE GAS STATION OFFERING CASSETTES ENTITLED JOCK JAMS", "AT THIS TIME I WOULD LIKE TO APOLOGIZE FOR WASTING THE INTERNET", "HOW ABOUT SEDUCING THEM.......... WITH A FUCKING ATM CARD", "HHHHHHHOOOAAARK OKAY THEN", "GREAT NEWS EVERYONE!!!!!!!!", "I'M AMPLE ANNIE", "HELLO TO THE FUCKING IDIOT PARADE OF COLLEGE STUDENTS !!! WHAT AN EXCITING TIME IN YOUR LIVES TO BE ON THE BRINK OF A NEW CAREER LICKING MY DICK FOREVER", "I'M A GAY COW MMMMOOOOOOOOO URF HOMPH", "CORPORATIONS BOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!! GAY MARRIAGE YAY", "HOBLBOLHB LHABAB HLAHBLHELAHBA", "WELL HERE I AM ALONE IN THE TOILET", "JESSICA SIMPSON SINGS LIKE SHE'S GOT COCKS ****AND***** SOCKS IN HER MOUTH", "WHAT DOES DUH STAND FOR", "PUT YOUR HANDS TOGETHER FOR.......... SPIGOT!!!!!!!!!!!", "QUICK TURN TO CHANNEL DICK", "BEEP BOOP BOOP BEEP BEEP BOOP BEEP THREE LARGE PIZZAS PLZ KACHING HOMPTH KA-BLAM", "HALLOWEEN PARTY IN THE GAY TOILET DOWNSTAIRS", "I'M LOOKING AT MY HOPE FLOATING IN THE TOILET RIGHT NOW", "<----- I'M WITH STUPID!!!!", "^H^H^H^H^H^H^H^H I CAN'T BACK UP BEING GAY", "IF I TAKE THE COCK OUT OF MY MOUTH I'M SCARED I'LL STILL BE GAY", "GAY", "JUST SIT RIGHT DOWN AND I'LL SUCK A DICK", "I WISH TO BE QUEER WITH YOU (NO OFFENSE) PLEASE AND THANK YOU", "BLUH PTTH HUHH GLUB PLUH SOAKING IN IT", "COULD YOU ALL PLEASE RESIZE YOUR MOUTHS LIKE SO:", "DURRRRRR", "NO THAT WAS NOT A TYPO, YOUR NEW NAME IS MOUTH", "CHANCES ARE", "IDLE FOR EIGHT MINUTES EQUALS GAY", "I PAID FOR THAT BONER WITH MY OWN FAT", "COMPILING: GAY.C", "I'M A SASSY CYNICAL WEB EDITRIX WITH HER OWN ZINE AND A REGISTERED COPY OF DREAMWEAVER", "MY UNIVERSAL REMOTE TURNS OFF TELEVISIONS!!!!!", "THEY CAN'T RECALL THE ONES IN MY CUPBOARD!!!!!!!! HOMPTH GHLGT)GK", "DEFINITELY GOING TO FUCK YOUR MOUTH LIKE A TUGBOAT", "HAVING A GREAT TIME IN THE GLORYHOLE PLEASE SEND MORE KIM WILDE CD'S", "FROM NOW ON PLEASE ADDRESS ME AS EITHER \"DOCTOR WHO\" OR \"THE DOCTOR\"", "HI I'M JOSEPH AND THIS IS MY TECHNICOLOR DREAMCOAT", "SIR I AM NOT AN ASHTRAY", "SLAM THE CAR DOOR ON MY BONER SO I WON'T BE GAY", "YOUR BADGE DOESN'T WORK????", "MY BONER WAS MANY THINGS TO MANY PEOPLE", "AND A ONE AND A TWO AND A", "GUESS WHAT'S IN MY FACE RIGHT NOW", "ZOING ZOING ZOING ZOING ZOING ZOING ZOING ZOING DROPPING THE WHIPPED CREAM CONTAINER AND ZOING ZOING ZOING ZOING STUMBLING OVER TO THE COUNTER TO HELP A CUSTOMER", "FORGETTING ABOUT THE PRINT DIALOG AND TAKING A LONG LUNCH", "THAT LAST JERK FELT HURRIED", "G G G G", "[REDACTED] ARE......... HIDEOUS", "IT'S ALWAYS GIMME GIMME WITH FLOOD VICTIMS", "DO YA KNOW / WHERE YOU'RE GOING TO", "THERE IS LIFE IN THIS STALL", "THE TEFLON DONG", "HOT BUTTERY COCK WILL BE MY FUCKING SNACK", "EITHER THIS IS THE JIZZ BUS OR IT ISN'T", "WHY HAS PANTS BEEN IDLE FOR 650 MINUTES???????", "CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLONK BONK URF MACE RAPINGS", "NUGGGGGGGGG", "FOLKS THERE'S A FRUIT MONSTER IN THE LIVING ROOM", "YOU AND YOUR BIG SCIENCE WORDS ABOUT POO", "WE LOST THE BROKEN BROOM HANDLE AND WE THREW A KEGGER IN THE BASEMENT", "I AM A LOAD OF JIZZ", "SIR THERE SEEMS TO BE A MISTAKE", "GUESS WHAT I AM: HONK CLONK SLURP BONK DUH", "(AHEM)", "DO OTHER COUNTRIES THINK IT'S FUNNY TO PLACE [UNITED STATES] IN ITS ALPHABETICAL POSITION IN A COUNTRY POP-UP INSTEAD OF AT INDEX NUMBER 1 WHERE IT BELONGS NO MATTER WHAT", "STOP", "HERE COMES JIZZY MCPISSFACE WITH HIS BEACH TOYS", "CAN WE JUST SAY I HAVE COMBINATION SKIN AND LEAVE IT AT THAT", "LONELY AND SAD", "IS THERE SOMETHING HAPPENING ON A TINY SPECK OF DIRT ISLAND HALFWAY AROUND THE WORLD????? BECAUSE IT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH THIS COFFEE CAKE!!!!!", "COMPUTER ..........", "I ALSO SUSPECT THAT NOBODY AT VISCERA IS REALLY GAY AFTER ALL", "I NEED A RAPE KIT", "DOES ANYBODY HERE KNOW HOW TO HOOK MY QUICKCAM UP TO MY ROOMMATE", "WHOEVER JIZZED ALL OVER MY WHEELCHAIR I HOPE YOU GET IN TROUBLE", "HERE'S A LINK TO OTHER DUMPY FAT GIRLS!!!!!!!", "GET THE HELL OFF MY DONG (PUNCHING YOU)", "IS THIS WHERE I CAN SIGN UP FOR THE GAY GAMES", "I'M AN ULTIMATELY POINTLESS EXERCISE IN PISSING AND PUNCHING", "WOULD YOU NOT NOT LIKE TO NOT UNLICK A DICK YOU DIDN'T LICK??!?!?!!?", "SIRS", "SO I'LL SAY GOODBYE TO EVERYONE IT WAS REAL FUN HANGING OUT BUT OBVIOUSLY I DON'T BELONG HERE", "IF ONLY THERE WERE SOMEONE HERE TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE", "WHERE ARE MY BALLS", "THAT CRAZY GUY! HE SURE LOVES HAVING HIS DICK IN A WARM PLACE, WHETHER YOU'RE A HIGHLY PAID WHORE OR A RETARDED ANIMAL.", "CLEAR", "MY DOG KEPT STARING AT ME WHILE I BEAT OFF SO I HAD TO GIVE HER A BISCUIT", "I'M THE MINISTER OF SILLY WALKS - URRFF HURRRG I'M A FAT DORK", "WHAT THE", "THE GUY IN STALL ELEVEN DOESN'T MAKE CHANGE", "LOOKING FOR MEXICAN QUEERS IN WALNUT CREEK ASAP", "THE DONG WHISPERER", "WITH THESE BRIGHT ORANGE PANTS AND THIS FLASHY SIREN ATOP MY HEAD AND THESE ROLLER SKATES I CAN TRAVEL FROM TOWN TO TOWN AS THE COCKMOBILE", "YAY WE'RE TOGETHER", "I'M ON TOP OF THE DONKEY NOW", "FOLKS I'M A PROFESSIONAL DICKLICKER ON A CLOSED COURSE (DO NOT ATTEMPT)", "MY ASS AND NUTS", "WHAT I REALLY WANT TO DO IS DIRECT THE COCKS INTO MY MOUTH AND THEREBY ELIMINATE THE MIDDLE MAN (OR MEN, OR GROUP OF BLACK MEN, OR THE INTERNET)", "IF I CLICK ANOTHER LIGHT-BROWN-HAIRED GIRL PIC WHICH YIELDS A DOPEY COW-EYED RIOT GRRRL STARING OFF INTO SPACE I'M GOING TO LICK MY OWN DICK", "SUPER DUPER", "IF I TAKE ALL THE LETTERS IN \"JERKCITY\" AND MIX THEM UP AND TAKE SOME OUT AND PUT NEW ONES I STILL NEED A SPONGE AND A MAP TO THE TOILET", "PACE YOURSELF", "CLIP CLOP CLIP CLOP HERE COME THE HORSES", "HELLO", "SYSTEM.OUT.WRITELN (\"I'M FULL OF DICK TODAY\");", "I'M THE WIZARD OF NUTS AND COCKS", "T PANTS CAN YOU HELP ME DEVELOP A SCI-FI WESTERN THAT TAKES PLACE ENTIRELY IN YOUR MOUTH (WITH MY PRICK)", "IF YOU TILT THE PAC-MAN MUG BACK AND FORTH HE CHASES GHOSTS", "HOW ARE YOU ALL DOING TONIGHT", "FREE TO BE YOU", "TYING MY PRICK TO THE LAMP POST AND SWINGING OUT INTO TRAFFIC IN A COMICAL SLAPSTICK FASHION", "I DISLIKE THE BITING", "LET'S JUST SAY THERE'S A VERY GOOD REASON THEY'RE CALLED MOUNTIES", "I'M GAY DUE TO A FREAK TRANSPORTER ACCIDENT", "LET'S HAVE A LITTLE LESS COLLABORATION AND COMMUNICATION AND A LITTLE MORE EJACULATION AND MAYBE ALSO LEMON POPPYSEED MUFFINS", "HAVING A HARD TIME BELIEVING WE'RE ALL THE WICKERMAN", "FUCKING SHUT UP DURING JAG", "I MUST SAY THE SF BONER EXPO WAS SORT OF A LETDOWN", "WHAT IF THE CAUSE OF THE BIG PLANE CRASH WAS ME FARTING?!?!?!?!?", "WHY DOST THOU FLIP AND FLOP THY DONG BENEATH MY CHAMBER DOOR", "GAY ABOUT THE FACE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! STARRING SPIGOT", "SIR YOU ARE SPREADING/SMEARING SUNSHINE ALL OVER MY FACE", "IT'S NOT A PARTY WITHOUT ME FOLKS", "PROSPERO'S BALLS", "THEN WE ADJOURNED TO THE LOUNGE FOR COMPLIMENTARY FACIALS", "AND BY \"FAT\" WE ALSO MEAN \"DUMB\"", "YOU PUT YOUR LEFT FOOT IN", "TAKE THE OTHER DAY, THERE I AM IN MY KITCHEN AREA WITH THREE PRICKS IN EACH HAND, A DONG AROUND MY WAIST LIKE A BELT AND THE DOORBELL RINGS", "COCKS AND BALLS", "I HAD TOO MUCH MCDONALDS", "WITHOUT ME, THE FLOPPY DISKS WOULD JUST GO UNLABELED", "HONK BONK", "SPOILERS FOLLOW:", "LOOK AT ME EVERYONE I'M WEARING FUNNY PANTS", "ONLY TWO WORDS CAN TEAR ME AWAY FROM JERKCITY:", "I'M ONLINE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!", "SO I THINK HEINEKEN'S MY FAVORITE SCI-FI AUTHOR WHO'S ALSO A BEER", "BEEP BONK", "SHUT UP", "THE BANG BUS TO BURNING MAN", "I KEEP MY PAGER CLIPPED BETWEEN MY NUTS LIKE A STAPLE", "IS THIS SOME KIND OF CYBERFEMINIST WEBZINE", "IN ROMAN TIMES I COULD COUNT MY JERKING LIKE MCMDVII", "MY HANDS THEY ARE SLIPPERY I CANNOT HOLD ON TO ZE LADDER", "FRY ME TO DER MOONS / UND LET ME PRAY AMONST A STARS", "SO WHO ALL IS HERE", "HOIF OOF OW", "OKAY NOW LET'S SEE WHO THIS \"GHOST\" REALLY IS", "DO YOU HEAR WHAT I HEAR / I HEAR / I HEAR", "IF ONLY I HAD A HAMMER AND A MAP TO MOTEL 6", "PLEASE COME TO MY USER MEET (GRADE MY BALLS ON A CURVE)", "QUICK HIDE THE JERKCITY", "APOLOGIZE FOR THE PEE IN MY KIMCHEE", "HAND ME THE BINOCULARS SO I CAN ZOOM IN ON THAT GUY'S BASKET", "OKAY I NEED YOU ALL TO LISTEN UP FOR TWO SECONDS", "WHY ARE THE BACKGROUNDS WHITE THIS WEEK", "WHY DO I LICK DICK?!!?!", "PLEASE PUNCH ME IN THE FACE IN FRONT OF MY CHURCH FRIENDS", "I NEED YOU ALL TO PLEASE GET OFF MY HEAD AND LEGS", "YOU CAN THINK OF MY NUTS AS A GATEWAY TO A NEW LIFE WITHOUT RESPONSIBILITY", "MY DREAMS", "I'M A 19-YEAR-OLD JOCK AND I LOVE TO SUCK COCK! E-MAIL ME NOW!", "GOOD GOD AM I FULL OF COCKS TODAY", "I'LL JUST HAVE TO CHOKE IT SIDEWAYS/EDGEWISE I SUPPOSE", "ALSO I STEPPED IN DOGSHIT", "I'LL SMOKE DOPE TO THAT", "I WOULD LIKE TO CHOOSE STOP FROM THE BLOWJOB MENU", "ON THE FIRST DAY OF CHRISTMAS MY TRUE LOVE GAVE TO ME", "POOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO", "THESE JOURNALS WILL BRING ME A NOBEL PRIZE", "JUST WANTED TO SAY IT'S BEEN A GRRRREAT", "MORE FUCKING DICKS & DONGS ASSIGNED TO ME", "PLUS HIS E-MAIL ADDRESS HAD THE WORD \"BALLS\" IN IT SO OBVIOUSLY HE'S NOT EVEN A LEVEL 3 GELFLING", "HITLER WAS WRONG TO MURDER ALL THOSE JEWS AND SO WAS I", "**SOB** THE POOR OVERWORKED CHILDREN OF OTHER NATIONS", "LET'S ALL EAT CANDY FROM OFF THE GROUND", "VERY FUNNY WITH THE CIGARETTE LIGHTER UNDER MY NUTS", "I SAID *AT THE DAIRY QUEEN* (LISTEN)", "GIDDYUP JINGLEHORSE PICK UP YOUR FEET", "HANDS UP WHO'S AS QUEER AS ME", "I'M GOING TO SHOOT OUT THE LIGHTS AND WE CAN WHISPER GAY THINGS TO EACH OTHER IN THE DARK", "I'M JUDGE JERKALOT AND I DISPENSE A JIZZY JUSTICE", "BIRTHDAY SUIT", "FOLKS I THINK CYBERSPACE NEEDS AN OFFICIAL FLAG AND SONG AND BIRD AND FLOWER!!!!!!!", "CHOKING THEM ALL DOWN!!!!!!!!!!!", "ABOUT YAY LONG AND ABOUT YAY THICK", "WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO THESE ARE THE BEST YEARS OF OUR LIVES!!!!!!! HUHHHHH WE'RE FAT AND NOBODY CARES ABOUT US", "TAKING A TEST TO FIGURE OUT WHICH BONEQUEST CHARACTER I AM!!!!!!!!!!!", "HEIL HITLER LADY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!", "[NBC MELODY]", "SWIRLING AROUND LIKE A FLUSHING TOILET", "PANTS WANTS ME TO ASK WHAT HAPPENED TO THE--", "WITH A HOCUS POCUS / YOU'RE IN FOCUS", "SQUIRRRRRRRRRRRRRHURRRRRRRDGLPKTH", "PLEASE SIGN MY PETITION TO BRING SPIGOT THE BEAR BACK TO FOX", "NUTS", "CHUBBY HUBBY SEEKS AFTERNOON HOOKER!!!!!", "HANDS UP WHO NEEDS A DONG", "PORN SLOTH", "WINE FORUM", "I'M SPIGOT FROM JERKCITY!!!", "MY MOUTH IS A ROCKY PLACE WHERE YOUR SEED CAN FIND NO PURCHASE", "EEK", "PLEASE PASS THE DICK", "PLEASE CAN I JUST HAVE ONE COCK", "MY BONER'S FLOATING UP TO HEAVEN", "NOT THE FACE", "IF I CALL A GAY CHAT LINE CAN THEY SEE ME WITH THEIR GAY DICKS OR WHAT'S THE DEAL", "GIMME A C", "JERKCITY IS PROUD TO OFFER A SMOKE, DRUG AND ALCOHOL-FREE WORKPLACE", "I'M GOING TO LET MY BRAIN DRIVE MY PC", "IT'S REALLY WARM IN HERE FOLKS", "HERE'S DORKY", "PANTS AND DEUCE WILL NOT BE AROUND FOR A WHILE (ARRESTED BY S.H.I.E.L.D.)", "DON'T MAKE FUN OF MY SOMETIMES EERIE, SOMETIMES ZANY BUT ALWAYS LOVEABLE AND AMUSING WEB-BASED ALTERNATIVE UNDERGROUND SELF-PUBLISHED COMICS", "REPEAT: DICKS", "LET'S BE CLEAR:", "SO ARE WE GOING TO THE ANTARCTIC GLACIER CONFERENCE OR NOT", "WHAT ABOUT NUTS", "A-SEVENTY SIX", "THAT'S B AS IN BALLS", "I'M SPIGOT", "WHEN LIFE GIVES YOU LEMONS", "FOLKS", "SOMETIMES I WAKE UP AND MY DOLLS ARE ALL IN MY UNDERWEAR", "I HOPE NO ALIENS FIND OUT ABOUT MY ACTIVITIES", "LICKEN DER PLICKEN", "I'M A FAT FLOPPY DORK", "WITH ALL THE PENDING EXCITEMENT ABOUT THE DICK I COMPLETELY FORGOT THE JIZZ", "STEP ONE IS TO SOAK ME WITH A LOAD OF SPURT", "HELLO ONLINE FRIENDS!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!! !!", "OKAY HERE GOES", "WHAT", "I SERIOUSLY NEED A Q-TIP", "*HOMPH* I'M A FAT QUEER COCK EATER", "BEAT ME OFF 2WICE", "T DEUCE {{{ URANUS }}}", "T PANTS BECAUSE I DON'T KNOW IF I'M IN THE MOOD FOR PANCAKES FOR A HAM PLATTER", "I ALSO HAVE A SERIOUS SIDE AND I'M TIRED OF NOT BEING TREATED MORE MATURELY", "OKAY HOME TO SPURT EVERYONE", "FIVE POUNDS OF MCDONALDS LATER I'M STILL STONED", "SOUP OR NUTS, THEY'RE BOTH PAINFUL", "WHY DOES THE COCKBOT KEEP LOGGING OUT", "I WONDER IF I'LL BE ABLE TO BEAT OFF LATER", "WHO WILL BUY", "\"SLOBBERING AND CRUNCHING LOUDLY\"", "WE NEED TO PISS AND THEN PRAY TOGETHER", "HEY EVERYONE", "T PANTS YOU LIED TO ME ABOUT HOW BONEQUEST WAS AN ALTERNATIVE ONLINE CYBERZINE", "EXCUSE ME", "BIG FAT BALLS", "WHO'S THE GAYEST", "YOU'RE DICKITY DRUNK ON BONER BOOZE", "IS TODAY A POOL DAY?!?!?!!?!?!?!", "WHO'S DOING WHAT WITH BALLS NOW", "MAYDAY MAYDAY I'M GOING DOWN", "HOO BLUH", "TRYING TO HIDE OPEN WINDOWS OF PORN ACROSS FIVE MONITORS", "SHUT UP", "I WISH SOMEONE WOULD RIG MY BALLTOSS", "KNOCK KNOCK", "LET'S HEAR IT FOR SPIGOT EVERYONE COME ON", "MY DICK IS LOOKING AT ME IN THAT WAY", "T DEUCE PLEASE PUT ON SOME PORN SO I CAN BEAT OFF!!!!!!!!!!", "T PANTS WILL YOU PLEASE BE MY NET NANNY", "TAKE THE JIZZ QUIZ PEOPLE", "LET'S ALL GO OUT TO BRUNCH AND CELEBRATE WAKING UP GAY WITH A BIG STACK OF BUTTERY BUCKWHEAT FLAPJACKS AND A PUNCH TO THE MOUTH", "CAN SOMEONE TIVO THE E! TRUE HOLLYWOOD STORY OF ME LICKING DICK", "WHENEVER I GLANCE AT MY DONG IT IS NEARLY NOON", "I'M A TAMAGOCHI", "PLEASE TELL ME THERE ARE BONERS HERE", "FROM NOW ON PLEASE CALL ME HOTNUTS", "PLEASE POKE YOUR DICK AND BALLS THROUGH THE FLAP AND I'LL PLAY WITH THEM", "T DEUCE WILL YOU STAY OVER IF I PUT ON ENYA", "HANDS UP WHO CAN [REDACTED] SOME FIGGY PUDDING", "T EFFIGY I'M STARTING TO THINK YOU'RE NOT THE WORLD-FAMOUS CUP FLIPPER", "HOW DARE YOU CLAIM YOU'VE GOT THE MOST EROTIC TEENS", "T PANTS HEY BECAUSE YOU", "BOOBS", "ARE YOU USING THE SINGLETON PATTERN", "FUCK YOU / FUCK YOU / FUCK YOU / FUCK YOU", "SMILE!!!!!!!!", "FUCK YOUR FACE", "LADIES AND GENTLEMEN I AM LICKING A DICK STARTING RIGHT NOW", "LET'S JUST SAY SHE WAS DANNY ELFMAN SOUNDTRACK RETARDED", "ANY UPDATES ON WHAT THE DANCING HAMSTERS ARE UP TO", "PROSPERO'S BALLS", "CLEARLY NONE OF YOU FULLY UNDERSTAND HOW SKILLED I AM IN THE ART OF DONG FU", "WELL I'M GAY AGAIN", "ARE YOU GUYS TALKING ABOUT BANANARAMA", "I HAVE AIDS AND I VOTE", "APPRECIATING THAT POPTARTS ARE 8 TO A BOX", "WE'VE GOT TO GET THIS QUEER TO THE TOILET AND STAT", "ARE YOU THERE GOD?!?!?!?", "SOMEONE'S A LITTLE FLAT", "DOUBLE, SOMETIMES TRIPLE DONGING", "WOULD PRICKS IN MY FAT FACE BE POSSIBLE? THURSDAY THRU SUNDAY?", "HALUGHULAHGLUAHG", "FOLKS I SPENT GOOD MONEY ON THESE STIR STICKS IF SOMEONE COULD PLEASE SHOW UP", "GET OUT", "REWINDING THE SCENE IN DATA'S DREAM WHERE WORF'S EATING NUCLEAR PEPTIDE CAKE OFF A PAPER PLATE", "THAT'S RIGHT LADY YOUR FACE IS FULL OF POO", "SORTING LIMEWIRE RESULTS BY POPULARITY REVEALS A DUMB DUMB DUMB DUMB DUMB DUMB DUMB DUMB DUMB DUMB DUMB DUMB WORLD", "I SAY AGAIN: PEOPLESOFT", "I WISH YOU WERE NEVER BORN", "YOU BE THE DOCTOR AND I'LL BE SARAH JANE SMITH", "I REALLY THINK YOU'RE OVERESTIMATING HOW MUCH I LIKE YOUR DOG SHIT SMOOSHED ALL OVER MY FACE", "OPEN YOUR MOUTH AND CLOSE YOUR EYES AND YOUR FACE WITH BALLS", "SPLORK SPLOP YOUR FACE", "FOLKS WHAT'S FRENCH AND TAKES SHITS AND LICKS DICKS ???!??", "HOW TO TRICK HER INTO LOCKING HERSELF OUT OF THE HOUSE SO I CAN BEAT OFF", "YOUR FACE IN THE DOG SHIT FOREVER", "WELL", "I'VE LEARNED THE VALUE OF SIMPLY BEING MYSELF", "BUT I WAS DRAGGING HIM TO THE HOSPITAL??????????", "DREAMING I'M SLEEPWALKING INTO THE TOILET AND WIPING MY ASS WITH SLICES OF WONDER BREAD??????", "TRYING TO ADMIRE MY OWN HARDON", "HANDS UP WHO THINKS I'M PRETTY", "THAT GARFIELD!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!! ALWAYS IN THE LASAGNA!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!", "I OFFICIALLY DISKLIKE DICK", "WAITING FOR COCKS", "HI TO ALL MY ONLINE DONGS", "YOUR NEW NAME IS BOOZY MCTYPO", "WHAT'S THIS ABOUT DICKS NOW", "WHEN WILL I BE PRETTY", "IT'S GOOD TO BE HOME!! WHIRRRRR ***FLOOOSOOOOSHH*** OH GOD", "I WOULD LIKE TO EXTEND MY BALLS OUT UNTO THE AMERICAN PEOPLE", "SHE WHIP-WHAPPED MY VISA CARD IN THE CLONKY LITTLE MACHINE IN A WAY THAT SUGGESTED I WAS NOT JUST ANOTHER BLOWJOB ENTHUSIAST", "CRYSTAL RAY ***AND*** LAUREN PHOENIX??????????", "YOU ARE CORKING ME WITH A SODA CAN AND IT REALLY HURTS", "JERKCITY.CGI WAS NOT FOUND ON THIS SERVER", "I HAVE NO MONEY FOR FOOD OR RENT", "TIRED OF YOU PEOPLE NOT TAKING ME SERIOUSLY", "EVERYBODY INTO MY FACE", "CAN SOMEONE DO SOMETHING ABOUT THE ABSENCE OF DICK IN MY FACE", "THIS DICK/PRICK DIET IS *****NOT WORKING*****", "CAN WE DECAPITATE THE WHALES OR IS THAT JUST CHOPPING THEM IN HALF", "I SWEAR I BOTTLED UP ALL MY URINE", "HANG IN THERE BABY!!!!!!!!!!!!!", "OH BOY HERE'S SPIGOT AGAIN", "BE MORE OF A FAG TO ME", "WHAT DOES THIS DO?!?!?!!?", "IS THAT ANY WAY TO BEHAVE", "HMM", "FOR WANT OF A BEATOFF THE DOPE WAS LOST", "I CAN ALSO PISS ON MYSELF AND PRETEND IT'S LIQUID SUNSHINE", "LUHHHHHHHHHHH HUHHHHHHHHHH", "I THOUGHT MAYBE THE BITS COULD BE DOWNLOADED FROM UP YOUR SKIRT", "IT'S PART OF MY MASTER PLAN TO CONTINUE SMOKING DOPE AND SLEEPING IN UNTIL 3PM", "NO TO HYPOCRISY", "IS PANTS BACK FROM THE BLOWJOB FACTORY YET????????", "A PODCAST ABOUT WHY I DIDN'T DO LAST WEEK'S PODCAST", "PUT ME DOWN FOR A SQUIRT FACIAL POV", "PUT YOUR HANDS TOGETHER FOR...SPIGOT!!!!!!!!!!!!", "MY PRICK SAW ITS SHADOW TODAY!!!! SIX MORE WEEKS OF COCKSUCKING", "FUCKING ALL OF YOU WITH HOT POKERS !!!!! EXCEPT EACH OTHER!!!!! PROMPTING GAY RUMORS AMONGST THE PRESS", "MY ASS AND LEGS ARE STUCK IN THE TOILET PEOPLE", "NOTE TO SELF: LICK DICK", "FROSTED FACES", "INSTALLATION ON \"BALLS\" CANNOT CONTINUE UNTIL THERE ARE PRICKS IN MY FACE!!!!!!!", "VERY ANGRY THAT MY NUTS WON'T SHUT UP*", "PRICKFEST", "LITTLE MISS SPIGOT", "IF THE DOLE IS A DICK THEN I WISH TO BE ON IT", "DID I ASK FOR PERMISSION TO FUCK YOUR FACE??? I RATHER DOUBHT$($", "FOLKS I WILL CHECK OUT THE DONG AND THEN MARK THE DONG LICK ONLY AND STUFF IT BEHIND THE FRIDGE", "HERE'S DORKY", "THIS ISN'T MY LIVING ROOM!!!!!!!", "OH BOY HERE'S SPIGOT AGAIN", "A ONE", "SIR MY BUS PASS SEEMS TO HAVE EXPIRED DUE TO THE FACT THAT I CAN'T FIND IT", "I'M KIND OF A TOILET", "I'M SQUIRTING YOU WITH LIQUID SUNSHINE", "VWOOP VWOOP (TARDIS NOISES)", "STUFF ME WITH DICK AND THEN APOLOGIZE", "SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BE CRUEL TO BE FAT", "SO ANYHOO THE VIDEO STORE GUY LIED ABOUT AN ALLEGED SEQUEL TO \"FACESTUFFING FRENZY\"", "NOT SURE IF IT'S TIME FOR SECONDARY, TERTIARY BONG HITS?!?!?!", "WHY DO PEOPLE THING THERE EVEN ********WAS******** AN OREGON TRAIL???????? D - O - P - E ", "I'M A FAT FUCKING DOLLY MADISON PIE", "I WAS TOO BUSY THINKING ABOUT IF I COULD THAT I NEVER STOPPED TO THINK IF I SHOULD", "I LIKE THE BONG BUT I PREFER THE PIPE", "SOMETIMES I FEEL HAPPY", "GAY ABOUT THE FACE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!", "DROPPING TWO BALLS OF DIFFERENT WEIGHTS FROM THE SAME HEIGHT WILL STILL HURT", "[A [A [A", "I WAS BANNED FROM THE CASTRO FOR GAY CRIMES I DIDN'T COMMIT", "I ONCE / SEEN A PICTURE", "FELONY DICKLICKING", "TRYING TO WORK ON MY PEOPLE SKILLS", "WHAT I HATE IS THAT WEIRD FEELING WHERE YOU SUDDENLY BECOME OVERLY CONSCIOUS THAT THERE'S A HUGE DICK IN YOUR MOUTH", "IF YOU COULD ALL PLEASE BE QUIET", "WHY DOES MY HEAD HURT EVERY FUCKING MORNING", "LEARNING TO SUCK", "OH GOD I'M A USELESS OLD WHORE", "IS THIS THE GRRRL WIDE WEB?!??!!?", "MY DREAMS", "HUH OW OW OW", "THAT'S RIGHT YAY FOR ME AND BOTH MY BALLS", "STALKING AND KILLING WHOEVER DREAMED UP PORN MODELS PAINTED UP WITH CLOWN FACES AND CIRCUS MOTIFS", "DONUT FIELD", "T DEUCE I WILL TALK YOU THROUGH IT", "HURRBLUBLUBLUBLUBLUB HORK HURLUP", "I SURE AM GAY THIS FINE MORNING", "LET'S SING OR SOMETHING", "DEW-DAPPLED BONERS", "{{{{{{{{ PRICKBEAR }}}}}}}}}", "I CAN SEE HOW GAY YOU ARE FROM ALL THE WAY OVER HERE", "THIS POSTING HAS BEEN FLAGGED FOR REMOVAL.", "S U I C I D E", "ALSO YOU'VE BARELY EVEN LOOKED AT MY BALLS", "OKAY TOOK A DUMP IN HER CUBE AND SHE STILL HASN'T EMAILED ME HER PHONE", "OKAY QUIET NO TALKING DURING MACNEIL/LEHRER", "OKAY SIR!!!!!!!!!!!", "YAY FOR SPIGOT", "T DEUCE I DON'T LIKE THE WAY YOU THROW THE WORD \"LOGS\" AROUND", "T DEUCE WHAT IS FUCKING WRONG WITH YOU TODAY", "NO WAY IS THAT FRUIT ROLLED UP INTO A TUBE", "LET'S ALL RALLY AROUND MY DICK AND SHOW SOME SUPPORT", "OPEN THE DOOR FOR YOUR MYSTERY DATE!!!!!!", "SOMETHING WITH THE AM BEING FM", "I'M GAY WHO'S WITH ME PEOPLE", "I WOULD ENJOY A FROZEN KIT KAT", "DOES ANYBODY EVEN SEE THESE GREY THINGS", "RICHARD DAWKINS SAYS I'M RELATED TO SEA SQUIRTS !!!!!!!", "*****FOOSH*****", "CHAR *NUTS;", "CAN SOMEONE PLEASE TELL ME IF MY NUTS ARE GETTING INSTALLED IN YOUR FACE DIRECTORY", "I'M DIZZY AND WANDERING NAKED AND COLD THROUGH A COMPLEX MARKETPLACE", "NINE MINUTES TO PORN", "SEKA AND SULKA ARE NOT THE SAME PEOPLE", "WHOEVER TOOK MY LIGHTSPEED PASCAL FLOPPIES FROM MY BACKPACK PLEASE RETURN THEM", "T DEUCE MY TENTPOLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!", "PLEASE LEAVE A MESSAGE ON MY FACE", "WE COULD USE YOUR SUPPORT NOW MORE THAN EVER", "ALWAYS DARKEST BEFORE THE DONG", "*PSSST* CRACKLE", "DON'T LOOK AT THE CAMERA", "(A) LICKING", "I CAN'T BREATHE FOR THE LOVE OF HOLY GOD (AND CHRIST)", "GAY AND ALONE", "EVERYONE BE QUIET I HAVE SOMETHING TO SAY!!!!!!!", "WILL MY SPRITELY ATTITUDE COUNT FOR SOMETHING??????????", "REMEMBER THAT TIME WE ALL WORKED AT JERKCITY", "WELL THIS IS ROMANTIC", "WELL THAT'S ONE FOR THE MONEY", "I'M TALKING ABOUT LOVING, MONOGAMOUS DICKLICKING INSTEAD OF JUST CAVALIERING FROM DONG TO DONG", "I'M TALKING ABOUT LOVING, MONOGAMOUS DICKLICKING INSTEAD OF JUST CAVALIERING FROM DONG TO DONG", "I'M TALKING ABOUT LOVING, MONOGAMOUS DICKLICKING INSTEAD OF JUST CAVALIERING FROM DONG TO DONG", "I'M TALKING ABOUT LOVING, MONOGAMOUS DICKLICKING INSTEAD OF JUST CAVALIERING FROM DONG TO DONG", "I'M TALKING ABOUT LOVING, MONOGAMOUS DICKLICKING INSTEAD OF JUST CAVALIERING FROM DONG TO DONG", "MY HAPPY OPEN MOUTH", "WHY ARE YOU THRUSTING YOUR CANE UNDER THE STALL WALLLLLLLLLLLLLLL-E", "DEFINE \"SLIGHTLY OVERWEIGHT\" LADY", "NOW MORE THAN EVER WE NEED BRUCE WILLIS", "PUDDING AND POKERY", "I SURE HOPE MY QUEERNESS GOES AWAY BEFORE TOMORROW", "AND THEN IT FLAPPED AROUND BONKING INTO ALL THE EXPENSIVE ANTIQUES AND SMOKED ALL THE DOPE AND LOGGED INTO JERKCITY", "SOAKED WITH PISS IN JERKCITY", "T PANTS YOUR FROG IS SITTING ON ME AND WON'T GET UP AND KEEPS GOING TO THE BATHROOM", "T PANTS NOT JOKING THIS TIME, THE FROG ASKED ME TO PLEASE \"CHUCK HIM AND THE TANK OVER THE FENCE INTO THE NEIGHBOR'S YARD\"", "WHAT I NEED IS MORE WINE AND/OR ANOTHER GLASS OF IT", "GRABBING THE BLUE BULB AND SQUEEZING MEDICINES UP AND AROUND", "IF POINTS WERE AWARDED FOR DICKLICKING I WOULD HAVE SO MANY POINTS RIGHT NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!", "GUHHHHHHHHH", "T PANTS SO YOU'LL BE LICKING DICK AND FUCKING RIGHT OFF PROBABLY", "HI", "BEEP BOOP BOOP", "I ACTUALLY THOUGHT OF A GREAT IDEA FOR A WEB GAME", "CLOMPING AND STOMPING MY WAY INTO THE TOILET", "I THINK WE'RE ALL FAT GAY FILM STUDENTS HERE, LET'S ROLL", "SMILE PATROL", "FOR GODS SAKE I NEED MY HEAD IN THE TOILET", "WELL THIS HAS ALL BEEN VERY INFORMATIVE", "HURRRRRRRR A DESK FULL OF PILLS AND KLEENEX AND PEACH-SCENTED LOTION", "REALLY HOPING I AM NOT ASKED TO CONTRIBUTE", "TRYING TO OVERLOAD += HERE", "WHEN YOU SAID OUT FOR A DRINK I THOUGHT YOU MEANT LIKE WITH AN ACTUAL GLASS", "HUFFING, PUFFING", "PLUS SHIPPING AND FONDLING", "TIRES ARE THE WHEELS OF CARS", "PLEASE BEAT ME OFF TEN TIMES A DAY", "MY BIKE WAS STOLEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!", "THESE TWILIGHT HOURS ALONE IN THE STALL GIVE ME TIME TO REFLECT ON IF I REALLY WANT TO DO THIS FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE", "T DEUCE WILL THERE EVER BE A RAINBOW?????????? *BEEP*", "HOW CAN I MAKE MY FONT 80 COLS", "OKAY IF YOU DON'T SUCK MY WANG IN THE TOILET I'M JUST GOING TO SAY YOU RAPED ME", "WRITING A SHORT NOVEL ABOUT HOW I COLLECT PORN: WHAT GETS SAVED, WHAT GETS THROWN AWAY, WHAT WORKS BEST FOR ME", "WITH FRIENDS LIKE THAT!!!!!!!! CUT MY DICK OFF", "SIMILARLY I DON'T GIVE A SHIT", "SERIOUSLY: WILL THERE EVER BE A RAINBOW", "NO CANDY AT THIS RESIDENCE", "IS ANYONE HERE TALKING ABOUT PRICKS??????", "CHUTES AND LADDERS AND BONERS", "LEARN HOW TO MAKE A STEAMPUNK BUTTPLUG (AFTER THE JUMP)", "FAGGED OUT", "RELATIVELY CERTAIN I HAVE NOTHING TO CONTRIBUTE", "EXHALING TO LET OUT THE ANGER AND HATE", "LIFE IS LIKE A BOXCAR FALLING ON PEOPLE, SMOOSHING THEM", "JAPANESE AND CHINESE DICKS", "YOU'RE WAY OVERDUE FOR A SPURT", "SPIGOT IN THE MORNING!!!", "FOLKS IF THERE'S NOTHING TO DO AT WORK MAY I PLEASE BE EXCUSED", "HOW DO I DESCRIBE WHAT PORN STARS DO WHERE THEY DROOL STRINGERS OF SALIVA ALL OVER MY DICK", "IF SOMEONE COULD COME OVER FOR JUST THREE MINUTES AND LICK DICK WITH ME", "WHAT WHO", "I SNACK AFTER 3PM", "BONER (NOUN): WHAT POKES INTO YOUR FACE AND HEAD", "THESE DICKS AND PRICKS ARE TURNING ME INTO SOMEONE I JUST DON'T LIKE VERY MUCH", "T ATANDT I SAW YOU AT THE DISCO", "HOMPTH HORMPH I'M IN A FANCY RESTAURANT", "TAKE THE GAY TRAIN", "THAT'S A COCKADOODLE CAN-DO", "BUFFERING", "SOME KIND OF CLAMP SQUEEZING AND STUFFING MY BALLS INTO AN ENVELOPE AND MAILING MYSELF BACK TO JERKCITY ANONYMOUSLY", "I'M A GAUSSIAN BLUR", "TODAY'S CONTENT IS ALL ABOUT MY GOLDEN LOCKS OF FAGGOTY HAIR AND HOW FAT MY GIRLFRIEND AND ALSO A NEW WORK OF FILK I LIKE TO CALL STAIRWAY TO BLAKE'S SEVEN", "SUBJECT: WE'RE LETTING YOU GO", "T DEUCE IN ASIAN CULTURES IT'S CONSIDERED A SIGN OF RESPECT TO DRIVE TO SF AND HAND ME THE BONG THAT FELL OUT THE WINDOW", "KISS MY NUTS", "T PANTS REMEMBER WHEN WE LIVED TOGETHER AND SHARED THE TOILET AND OUR STREAMS OF PISS MADE AN \"X\"", "DOSES PEOPLE", "WHY WOULD I RUN GIMP WHEN I'VE GOT BANNERMANIA RIGHT HERE", "CHOKING ME", "YAY HERE'S THE PORN", "BONJOUR", "FOLKS IT'S A NEW DAY IN AMERICA", "HURMPH", "SERIOUSLY APPRECIATIVE OF THE WAY YOU TOOK IT IN THE FACE OVER LABOR DAY", "THAT'S NO WAY TO BEHAVE", "LET'S POO TOGETHER AFTER SCHOOL", "SHOULD IT BE \"CHRISTMASSY\" OR \"CHRISTMASY\" ", "BUHHHHH HUHHHH", "I'M GOING TO CLEAN YOU AND RAPE YOU", "CAN I OPT-OUT OF THE MANDATORY HIV TEST", "HOMPH HOMPH ANGELS IN THE OUTFIELD HOMPH HOMPH LION KING", "SQURLTLGRLGLGRLRGLRLGLRGLRGRLGRL CARPET ", "PLEASE PATH THE HUGE MOUTH", "MAKE 'EM LAUGH", "IS THE GOAL TO LICK MY DICK????????????", "FOLKS YOU SAID YOU HAD TICKETS TO BURNING MAN", "GIVING UP", "LET'S ALL GET HIGH AND THEN GAY", "IT FEELS LIKE YOUR HAND IS DOWN MY PANTS", "I BONKED MY HEAD", "HERE'S THE CHURCH AND HERE'S THE STEEPLE AND HERE'S MY CATS EATING A POUND OF FIDDLE FADDLE", "GOOD LORD I NEED A TOWEL ", "MULTIPLE COUNTS OF CHILD MOLESTATION ", "CHUBBY TOP SEEKS PISS PAL FOR SCRUBBING ", "IS THE GOD HATES FAGS GUY MARVEL OR DC", "THE WEATHER STARTED GETTING ROUGH / MY TINY DICK WAS LICKED", "THIS DOESN'T FEEL LIKE AN ALTERNATE REALITY ", "I CAN'T KEEP UP", "MY SCRATCH DISKS ARE FULL ", "SHUT UP OR I WILL SERIOUSLY THROW A POPSICLE AT YOU", "BBLBBLBBLBBL IT IS SERIOUSLY PROMOTING AN OPEN SMOKING ENVIRONMENT ", "BUT I LOST MY SOCKS", "HOMPTH CRUNCH SUDDENLY PAUSES TO HEAR IF ANYONE IS COMING CRUNCH HOMPTH CRUNCH", "IS IT SO HARD TO GO BACK IN TIME AND LICK DICK", "AS YOU CAN SEE BY HOW MY BALLS ARE PUSHING INTO YOUR FACE IT'S KIND OF A SURPRISE PARTY", "TO MAKE SOMETHING BOLD I USE THE BOLD TAG", "GOD BLESS THESE FIFTY (CONTIGUOUS) UNITED STATES ", "GOT A BIG ERECTION / POKIN' ATCHA ", "T PANTS I FOUND THE VIDEOTAPE OF YOU/ME DICKLICKING IN VALLEY FAIR TOILET", "SOMEONE ASK ME WHY I TAKE DICKS AND PRICKS IN THE FACE", "I'M NOT GOING TO HOLD YOUR HANDS PEOPLE", "HORRIBLE HORRIBLE WALNUTS AND PECANS IN MY FUDGE", "FIRST QUESTION, DO THEY HAVE TO BE 'BRUTAL' DILDOS", "DIZZINESS", "IF ANYONE CAN SEE THE ARC OF URINE I'M SPURTING UP THROUGH THE GRATE: I'M STUCK DOWN HERE FOLKS", "HEY EVERYONE WHAT A SWANK SWINGIN' SCENE THIS IS WITH COCKTAILS AND FANCY TIES", "HOMPH HOMPH HOMPH NEXT HOMPH HOMPH HOMPH NEXT HOMPH HOMPH HOMPH", "SOMETHING IS SQUIRTING DOWN MY PANTLEGS", "LINE UP GALS", "I SAID PLEASE PASS THE BONG AND HELP ME SMOKE IT", "FRESHLY BAKED DONGS!!!!!!!", "GARK GARK GARK GARK GLK BLK BLTH", "LET'S JUST SAY READING YOUR BLOG HELPS ME NADD OFF TO SLEEP", "I'M A PROFESSIONAL CHUBBY MAN", "T PANTS I THINK I LEFT JERKCITY PLUGGED IN THIS MORNING", "WHILE SITTING ON THE ICY COLD TOILET I HEARD THE FAMILIAR JINGLE JANGLE OF UNBUCKLING BELTS AND BALLS O'ER THE WALL", "PROSTRATING MYSELF IN A FORWARDS FASHION FORMATION WITH MY BALLS/KNEES", "ONE MORE POPPYSEED BAGEL AND I'M GOING TO BURST", "MY PROGRAM WON'T COMPILE AND ALSO I WENT BLIND LOOKING AT THE ECLIPSE", "THE WORLD IS DIVIDED INTO TWO CATEGORIES: THINGS THAT HAVE BEEN STERILIZED AND THINGS THAT ARE \"SUSPICIOUS\"", "DEUCE AND I ARE TRYING TO TALK PRIVATELY", "SAY NO TO ALCOHOL AND HOMOS", "JERKING MY WAY THROUGH ART SCHOOL", "GAY ALL UP OVER INSIDE AROUND AND BELOW THE MOUTH", "HERE'S A HINT FOR ALL YOU LADIES OUT THERE DOING PORN SHOOTS:", "SPACE IS NOT JUST EMPTY AIR FOLKS, IT'S A SQUISHY SOAPY SQUIRTY SPURTY FOAM AND YOU CAN SEE IT WHEN YOU COME OVER TO MY HOUSE", "HUG LUG CHUBBY MEN HURF", "IT'S LIKE WORKING WITH DAVID LETTERMAN", "WE'RE HAVING A DIPFEST OVER HERE", "JESUS YOU FUCKHEADS HAVE IGNORED ME ALL DAY LONG", "FURRRRRRRR NOT FURP BECAUSE I'M STRETCHED OUT, LOOSENED", "PRETEND I'M A PAC MAN", "I AM OPENING MY ARMS AND RUNNING TOWARD A WORLD OF SHARING, CARING", "COME BACK", "DURRRRRRRRRRR", "WHO'S DOING WHAT NOW WITH THE SUCKING", "MY HAPPY OPEN MOUTH", "THINK OF ME AS A WALKING, TALKING BONER", "T DEUCE THANK HEAVENS FOR CHUBBY MEN", "THAT'S ENOUGH OF THAT", "HELLO", "HANDS UP WHO LIKES POO", "WEIRD HOW IN PERSON MY CRIPPLING SOCIAL PHOBIA KEEPS MY FROM TALKING!!!!!! BUT IN THE STALL I AM LITERALLY 100% PROACTIVE SUCKING/CHOKING ACTION!!!!", "IF SOMEONE COULD PLEASE GET OFF MY FACE I COULD UPLOAD THE NEW BONEQUEST", "HERE'S DORKY", "SURPRISE I HAVE A DICK 3", "I'D LIKE TO THANK CDNOW FOR SENDING ME MAIL ABOUT THE STUFF I ORDERED IN 1997", "SPIGOT APPEARS IN A POOFY CLOUD OF GAY FATNESS", "HOW ABOUT THE DANCE OF THE SEVEN PRICKS IN MY FACE", "WHY DON'T YOU STAND NAKED IN FRONT OF A MIRROR AND APPLAUD YOURSELF FOR FIFTEEN/TWENTY MINUTES", "T PANTS HOW CAN THEY AFFORD TO JUST GIVE 3D SMILIES AWAY LIKE THAT (IN PACKS EVEN)", "I'M NINETEEN AND THEREFORE FIGHT CLUB IS THE GREATEST UNDERGROUND CULT MOVIE EVER!!!!!!!", "ALL THOSE IN FAVOR?!?!?!?!?!?!!??!!?!?", "GOD RECALLS DIRT, ROCKS, TREES, STICKS, THE SEA, SPACE, FLASH 7", "IS TODAY A POOL DAY?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!", "CAN WE AFFORD NOT TO SUPPORT CLONING PROSTITUTES", "NOW I'LL BE THE GAY JESUS AND NAIL MYSELF TO THIS COCK WITH MY MOUTH", "I CAN'T SEE ZONES IN THE CHOOSER WHEN I TRY TO GO TO JERKCITY", "MISSING YOUR FAT FACE AND HEAD", "SON OF A", "JERK WITH ME", "I APPEAR TO BE CHOKING DOWN DONGS FOR BREAKFAST", "HICKORY DICKORY DOCK", "STOP USING WORDS THAT HURT AND START USING COCKS THAT POKE", "THE UNBEARABLE LIGHTNESS OF BONERS", "LET'S ALL SET OUR PHASERS ON \"BORING\"", "I'M FAG SINATRA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!", "I LIKE TO JERK IN SPACE", "JERKCITY PRESENTS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!", "LADIES AND GENTLEMEN PLEASE WELCOME THE BAY AREA'S GREATEST IMPROV TROUPES!!!!!!!!! SILICON CRACKERS", "DOLLY MADISON FRUIT PIES HIGHLIGHTING MY UTTER GAYNESS", "DICKLICKERS AHOY", "WAITER", "TO: ALL", "WE'RE GONNA NEED MY DONG IN THE STORM DRAIN", "MY FAT NUTS WROTE A SCREENPLAY OVER THE HOLIDAYS", "CLONKY BONKY BONERS", "HI EVERYONE", "SO", "SHOULD I ACTUALLY GO TO WORK TODAY OR GO EAT CREPES UNTIL 5PM", "THIS WINE COOLER HAS GONE STRAIGHT TO MY HHHHH", "I GOT LOGGED OUT", "FUCKING SHUT UP", "I HAVE A MODEM", "T DEUCE I SPELLED HI WITH FOUR OF MY BACON STRIPS TODAY", "I NEED TO BE JERKED OVER HERE", "I HAVE DIED FROM A PROSTITUTE OVERDOSE", "I CALL THEM \"GOOD ATTITUDE SEEDS\" AND YOU WATER THEM WITH EDUCATION!!!!!!", "MICROWAVE PUMPKIN BARS", "IT'S ONE SMALL CHONG FOR A FONG", "LUCK BE A LADY TONIGHT!!!!!!!!", "GIRLS JIZZED UP", "TRYING TO CRITIQUE THIS CHARDONNAY HERE", "I SAY WE INVESTIGATE KENNETH STARR'S PERSONAL LIFE!!!!!!!!!", "T PANTS ONLY INSTEAD OF DEUCE COMING OVER FOR THE SURPRISE PARTY IT'S REALLY AN INTERVENTION WHERE ALL HIS FRIENDS AND RELATIVES TELL HIM HOW CONCERNED THEY ARE THAT HE DRINKS AND COLLECTS THAT KIND OF PORN", "SEE ME PLEASE ABOUT YELLOW URINE CRYSTALS ON/IN SINK", "BE THE FIRST PERSON TO WRITE A REVIEW OF JERKCITY.COM!", "SPEAK INTO THE DONG", "SHE'S ALL \"WHAT DO YOU DO\"", "I AM SOILED", "AND I'M SLAPPING MY DONG AROUND IN MY OWN FACE", "MOTION CARRIED", "PAINFUL SHOE-SIZED SHITS", "PEEKABOO! I LICK DICK", "CAN WE HOLD HANDS AND PROCLAIM WE'RE AN OPEN SOURCE COMMUNITY", "IF ONLY SOMEONE WERE HERE TO EXPLAIN THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A BLACK HOLE AND A GLORY HOLE", "WE'VE GOT TO GET MORE AND MORE ASTRONAUTS OF EVERY COLOR AND CREED UP IN SPACE DRINKING THEIR OWN RECYCLED URINE", "MY HAPPY OPEN MOUTH", "COME ON KIDS EVERYONE INTO THE PORN VAN TO MEXICO", "CAN SOMEONE TELL WHORES IN EUROPE THAT IN ADDITION TO LOOKING LIKE MODELS THEY MUST ALSO KNOW HOW TO SUCK DICK IN AN ENTERTAINING FASHION??????????? HELLO", "I AM ASKING YOU TO LICK DICK WITH ME AND POSSIBLY PRICK WITH ME", "NO OFFENSE BUT PLEASE GO EAT A DICK AND THEN PLANT YOUR FACE IN A PILE OF DOGSHIT (TODAY)", "I'VE LEARNED THE VALUE OF SIMPLY BEING MYSELF", "HANDS UP WHO THINKS I'M PRETTY", "OKAY PEOPLE JUST STEPPING OUTSIDE", "DOOT DEE DOO JUST WANDERING INTO THE TOILET HMMM MMMMM NOT EXPECTING ANYTHING", "I GUESS WE KNOW WHAT HAPPENS WHEN TWO DONGS GO TO WAR", "I AM A COCKSMITH ", "HERE I HAVE AN ORDINARY EVERY DAY BONER", "VERY EMBARRASSED BY MY HEAD GEAR", "I'M WEARING A FUCKING TIE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD", "DO I HAVE TO DO THE AIDS WALK OR CAN I JUST DO A LAW & ORDER MARATHON", "T PANTS COULD YOU PLEASE DISABLE LOGKEEPING WHILE I VIEW THE CHUBBY MEN", "NOBODY IS VISITING MY BLOG", "MY FAT HAND SQUEEZING YOUR NECK AND THROWING YOU OUT OF THE WAY", "I HOPE THE DALAI LAMA LETS BUTTMAN BACK IN BUDAPEST", "YOU'VE ALL BEEN IDLE FOR OVER HALF AN HOUR", "I'M A WALKING KNOB JOB", "HEY LOOK HOW FUNNY I AM", "BBW???", "CAN WE GO SHOPPING FOR PRIDE CANDLES", ">", "WHEN'S JUDE LAW GONNA PULL A RIVER PHOENIX", "ARE YOU IN COOKING SCHOOL SO YOU CAN HELP PEOPLE TAKE MORE EXPENSIVE SHITS", "CHOCOLATE | SHOPPING | BATHING SUITS | NUTRASWEET | GAG FACTOR", "TWO SEPERATE AND EQUALLY IMPORTANT BALLS", "PULLING MY PANTS DOWN", "ONE IS THE LONELIEST NUMBER", "FOLKS I INVENTED NEITHER THE N-WORD NOR WEIRD AL", "COME TO THINK OF IT I THINK WE COULD ALL USE A NUT RUB", "I TOOK THE SOAP DISPENSER OFF THE WALL AND INTO THE TOILET WITH ME", "REGISTERED DICKLICKER", "WHERE DID I GO?!?!?!?!?!?", "I'M A COCKSUCKING COWBOY WITH A BIG HAT WHO NEEDS EXTRA ATTENTION AROUND THE DICK AND SOMEONE WHO KNOWS HTML", "WILL SOMEONE PLEASE ACKNOWLEDGE THAT I'M INTERESTING", "ABOUT YAY LONG", "I WOULD PREFER MORE JIZZ AS OPPOSED TO LESS BUT WHATEVER YOU'VE GOT AVAILABLE DUM DE DUM", "T PANTS IS 15 A POWER OF 2", "SMOKING DOPE AND PICKING UP THE TELEPHONE, PUTTING DOWN THE REMOTE AND PICKING UP THE TELEPHONE", "THREE IN THE MORNING", "DING DING DING DING", "I WISH THEY WOULD HURRY UP AND MAKE MY REAL DOLL", "WHO THREW MY PISSICLES IN THE TRASH CAN", "WASHING IT DOWN WITH WARM CUPS OF JIZZ JUICE AND A SNICKERS", "FUCKING SHUT UP", "OKAY SHUT UP I HAVE SOMETHING ELSE TO SAY", "HOIF", "FLOOSH FLUSH ECHO DRIP BLUH TEN THOUSAND PRICKS IN A ROW ALL THE WAY TO JERKCITY", "T PANTS YOU TAPED FRIENDS AND FRASIER BUT WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED TO WINGS??", "PLEASE DO NOT MAKE EYE CONTACT IN THE GLORYHOLE AREA", "OPEN YOUR MOUTH AND CLOSE YOUR EYES AND I WILL YOUR FACE WITH BALLS", "WHO HERE LIKES DICK (RAISE YOUR HAND)", "T DEUCE IF I WERE YOUR \"DADDY\" I WOULD HIT YOUR MOTHER REGARDLESS OF ANY OTHER GAY THEMES", "T DEUCE EAU DE TOILETTE", "HERE COMES THE COCKBOT", "OKAY TV TIME", "WHY CAN'T THE FBI PROBE MY ASS BALLS AND LEGS FOR HACKING INTO THE BAG OF DORITOS", "ARE YOU SURE YOU WANT TO SEND THIS MAIL..........", "FLYING AND SOARING AND JERKING THE JOYSTICK AND HITTING MY HEAD AND FACE", "URF HURF OOF OW HONK DUH SPURTING", "SPLURK SPLORK ALL OVER YOUR FACE", "WAVING", "OH BOY HERE'S SPIGOT AGAIN", "WELL LIKE I WROTE IN MY GAY MEMOIRS: \"AND THEN AT THE END OF THE AFTERNOON AS MY ANONYMOUS TOILET PARTNER WALKED OUT OF HIS STALL WITHOUT SO MUCH AS A THANK YOU OR A BUSINESS CARD SLIPPED UNDER THE DOOR OR LIKE A MORSE-CODE TAPPING OF HIS PHONE NUMBER (AS PER THE USUAL)\"", "OKAY PEOPLE SERIOUS PROBLEM WITH THE POLLS", "HER NAME IS DR. POLASKI AND SHE WORKS VERY HARD", "TELL DIR \"OPEN\"", "THE PUNCH BONE'S CONNECTED TO THE DONG BONE", "HMMM URF HUMPING MYSELF", "YOU ARE DIAGRAMMING ME LIKE AN IRREGULAR VERB", "HE PONCH ME IN THE MOUTH AND THEN I CLEAN", "OH THAT DIVINE MISS BETTE MIDLER!!!!!!!!!!!!!", "I AM TRYING TO BREATHE OVER HERE", "THE BEST WAY TO DESCRIBE THE STATE OF BONERS AND JIZZ IN MY FACE RIGHT NOW WOULD MOST LIKELY BE CONSPICUOUSLY ABSENT", "BA GURRRRRRRRK", "DUH LA LA SINGING AND PRANCING", "ALL I CARE ABOUT IS FINISHING MY TINKLE HERE AT THE URINAL", "I'M THE CONSPIRACY DONG", "DEAR SIR, THANKS FOR THE JPEGS OF YOUR FAT, DUMB WIFE.", "T DEUCE HOLD THIS CUP WITH A STRING ATTACHED", "THANKS FOR EMPOWERING ME TO SIT AND SOAK IN THIS PUDDLE OF FUCKHEADS", "DOOT DOOT DOO DOOT", "IN MY MINIVAN WITH MY HAPPY MUSIC ON THE WAY TO JERKCITY?!?!?!?!?!", "I'M A BAY AREA HOOKER", "I'M BALLSY AND FAT", "I'M \"CLAMPED\" BETWEEN YOUR \"ASS AND LEGS\"", "WHAT'S THIS ABOUT DICKS NOW", "WHAT DID YOU EXPECT GOING UP TO HIS ROOM", "HEY EVERYONE GUESS WHAT HAPPENS NOW THAT GOOGLE BOUGHT JERKCITY?!?!?!?", "I'M GOOD AND PLENTY", "OH BOY HERE'S SPIGOT AGAIN", "CLOCK BONK BONK BONK BA-DONK BA-DONK BA-DONK HELLO DONK DONK DONK", "WHAT WOULD BE SUPER IS IF YOU COULD PLEASE SHUT YOUR BIG FAT YAPPER", "T RANDS REMEMBER WHEN WE WORKED AT THE BOARDWALK AND SQUIRTED MUSTARD ON EACH OTHER", "I BLACKED OUT!!!!!!", "REMEMBER WHEN I UNPLUGGED YOUR STUPID COMPUTER AND JUST STARED AT YOU", "LOOK OVER THERE!!!!!!!!!!!", "HURRRRRRRR SQUATS AND REPS AND LIFTS AND SPLUTTERY SHITS", "NORA ALPHA MOONSHINE WHISKEY METHAMPHETAMINE HUSTLER", "A LITTLE.........", "T DEUCE I SNAPPED MY DICK IN A 3-RING TRAPPER KEEPER", "EGG FU PRICK", "TRYING TO ADMIRE MY OWN HARDON", "ICE ON THE MOON?!?!?! I THOUGHT YOU SAID ICE CREAM", "WHAT'S STRANGE IS WHY MY PANTS ARE DOWN AND THE LIGHTS ARE OFF", "THAT'S NEAT HOW VOID POINTERS CAN TAKE ANY KIND OF DATA", "OOF", "DICKS DICKS DICKS DICKS DICKS DICKS DICKS ", "TAKE OUR DAUGHTERS TO THE TOILET DAY", "BEEP BEEP HONK GET OFF THE SIDEWALK HURF BONK THE BIG BUS MIRROR CLONKED ME INTO THE BUSHES URF URF PEDDLING AND WRANGLING MY SHAMROCK SHAKE", "COULD THERE BE ANYTHING MORE DISGUSTING THAN SOMETHING CALLED PEOPLESOFT", "/TIRED_OLD_CONCEPT.JPG", "I BELIEVE I AM A GAY DONG IN THE SHAPE OF A PERSON", "MUST SET ALARM FOR 5AM TOILET SCRUBBING", "THROW A FUCKING PARADE PEOPLE", "I'M THE NIBBLES AWAY SO PLEASE BRUN ME", "PORTAL 2 BETTER NOT BE HARD", "ICE CREAM CONE TITS (EVEN SHAPED LIKE A DOWNVOTE)", "SPLUT, SPLOSH, SPLORP", "THE WONDERFUL WORLD OF SPIGOT", "SOMETIMES I PUT THE POO RIGHT IN MY FACE AND THINK ABOUT JERKCITY", "SECRET PRICKS", "WEAVE ME A HEARTSCAPE", "THEN HOW DO YOU EXPLAIN THE SHIT ALL OVER YOURSELF", "GARBAGE DISPOSAL = 3 INCHES WIDE", "WHERE THE HELL ARE MY COCKITY NUTS", "WELPS TIME FOR MY PATIENCE PILLS", "YOUR VIDEO WILL BEGIN AFTER THIS ADVERTISEMENT", "I SHOULD PROBABLY BRING A GUN TO WORK AT LEAST ONCE IN MY LIFE", "SAYS HERE CALIFORNIA WON'T SELL GUNS TO MENTAL PATIENTS", "YOU WENT THERE (POINTING ON THE FLOOR WHERE YOU WENT)", "BEETHOVEN'S FIFTH MOVEMENT ALL OVER YOUR FACE", "PRASHANT YOUR NONFAT ICED MOCHA IS READY", "DRAWING DICKS ON MY FACE, PRETENDING TO PASS OUT (NOT REALLY A SOLUTION)", "EINSTEIN WAS ****RIGHT***** PEOPLE!!!!!!!", "BUH HUH I CAN BE FUNNY SEE LOOK WITH MY MAGIC", "I HAVE LEARNED THE VALUE OF SIMPLY BEING MYSELF", "I WISH SOMEONE WOULD HONESTLY RATE MY DONG ON A SCALE FROM DICKS TO PRICKS", "ALL THOSE IN FAVOR", "I'M A VAMPIRE", "TRYING TO ENJOY A BOWL OF GRINS SMILES GIGGLES & LAUGHS HERE", "THIS IS THE STIFFEST MY BONE HAS BEEN IN LIKE THREE WEEKS", "OKAY YOU PROMISED A TRIP TO THE DEANZA FLINT CENTER FOR A PERFORMANCE OF THE NUTCRACKER AND THIS IS HARDLY A SUBSTITUTE", "CAN WE PLEASE ALL PISS TOGETHER ONE LAST TIME", "SERIOUS COCKS WAITING FOR ME IN THE STUDENT LOUNGE", "CAUSE IF YOU LICK MY DICK", "BEEP BOOP BOOP BEEP BEEP BOOP BEEP", "***GROUNDS*** FOR DIVORCE!!!!!! A HILARIOUS WEB-COMIC ALL ABOUT COFFEE AND WIFE-BEATING", "BREAKFAST WITH IHOP", "NEED TO TAKE A SHIT", "PLEASE SLIDE YOUR BALLS ALONG THE INK PAD AND TAKE A SEAT ON THIS CLEAN WHITE PAPER", "JUST GOING TO PICTURE A COLD TOILET SEAT", "IS IT TWO CODEINE OR TWO HUNDRED CODEINE", "I'M BUSY STUDYING UP ON THE HISTORY OF BLACK COCK", "I DON'T HAVE A PRICK IN MY FACE PEOPLE", "WHAT I READ INTO THAT IS THAT SHE HAD A SECRET CRUSH ON ME AND SHE WANTS ME TO SLASH HER TIRES", "WHY ARE YOU BASHING MY HEAD/HAIR AGAINST THE WINDSHIELD OF MY NEWLY LEASED VOLKSWAGEN BEETLE?!?!?!?!?!?!", "LET'S BREAK THIS UP INTO INDIVIDUAL DISCUSSION GROUPS", "AT FIRST I LIKED THE COCK-AND-BALLS GUN, THEN I LIKED THE PEW PEW LASER GUN", "ON THE COUNT OF THREE EVERYONE LICK DICK", "ANYONE HERE BEATING IT!!!!!!!!!!?????", "GOD FUCKING DAMN IT", "A BIG DISCUSSION THAT LASTED LONG AND GAY AND FAT INTO THE NIGHT", "I CAN'T SEE THE FOREST FOR THE DICKS", "FAIL!!!!!!!! HE THREW A GUM WRAPPER AT THE TRASH CAN BUT IT BOUNCED OFF THE EDGE!!!!!!!!! FREEZE FRAME / GOOD WORK EINSTEIN", "TEACH ME TO SQUIRT", "I'LL BAKE CUPCAKES WITH FROSTING AND FLAGS TO PROTEST WHY BLACK PEOPLE HAVE TO SUCK DICK AT THE REAR OF THE STALL", "DON'T BELIEVE THE HYPE!!!!!!! MY BALLS ARE JUST FINE", "LET'S GET WOODEN NAPKIN RINGS AND REALLY LAY THE TABLE RIGHT", "I REALLY JUST WANT TO GO BACK TO DEANZA AND GET MY DEGREE", "TIME FOR A TALL FROSTY GLASS OF SUDS AT CLUB QUEER - WHO'S WITH ME PEOPLE", "GURGLING AND BUBBLING IT UP AND OUT THE MOUTH", "FZZZZZZZZZZZTTTT", "FOR GODS SAKE I NEED MY HEAD IN THE TOILET", "BONK BONK BONK BONK", "I JUST SHOWED MY NUTS TO JEAN-CHARLES AND HE DIDN'T THINK IT WAS SO FUNNY", "I'M GAY ALL OVER AGAIN FOR THE FIRST TIME", "WHEN JERKCITY GOES DOWN DOES THAT MEAN I'M MAKING OR LOSING MONEY", "CHOKING THEM ALL DOWN AT ONCE!!!!!!!! LIKE THE SIGN SAYS!!!!!!!!!!!!", "WOMEN ARE NUMBER ONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!", "SUCKING YOUR OWN DICK IS HARD", "I REMEMBER WHEN DEUCE USED TO BE FUNNY", "DON'T TALK TO ME IF YOU'RE NOT A GIRL", "FOLKS DID THE CUPERTINO SHOOTER KILL STEVE JOBS OR WHAT'S THE DEAL HERE", "AM THE 99% !!!!!!!!!!!!!!! NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT THAT MEANS, CONSCIOUSLY DETERMINED TO NEVER LEARN", "HEY WHAT DOES THIS REMIND YOU OF:", "FAGS?", "IF I STAND ON MY HEAD I CAN JIZZ ALL OVER MY OWN STUPID FACE", "GET LAMP", "STOMPING YOUR THROAT MID SENTENCE!!!!!!!!!!! LOL", "I'M A UNIX POWERUSER WITH A MOUTH FULL OF FUCKING BALLS", "EMERGENCY PORN IN THE BOX", "SERIOUSLY WHO'S UP FOR HAM AT MY MOTHER'S HOUSE THIS EASTER", "ALL I REMEMBER IS HOW MY ASS AND MOUTH AND LEGS HURT AND THAT IT WAS TRUCK MONTH AT MY NORTHERN CALIFORNIA MAZDA DEALER", "BE GAY WITH ME ABOVE OVER AND ACROSS MY BALLS FACE AND HEAD AND REPEAT MY INSTRUCTIONS BACK TO ME", "HARRIET THE FAT SPY", "WE NEED MORE AEROSOL FOODS AND WE NEED THEM AIMED AT MY MOUTH", "MY BALLS ARE AS BIG AS YOUR MOUTH", "ALL THAT CURLY-BRACED JAVA / C / PERL / APPLESCRIPT / M4 CRAP CAN JUST GO RIGHT DOWN THE TOILET BECAUSE I HAVE IMPORTANT PANCAKES TO FLIP AND FLAP", "POP A LOAD ON MY FACE AND TAKE ME TO THE ANTIQUE STORE", "WHO CAN TURN A GAP", "KNOCK KNOCK", "CAN YOU DO THAT", "SUCKS TO BE ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!", "T KELLOGGS DO YOU HAVE TO CALL IT NUT CRUNCH", "BIG FAT BONERS IN MY FACE", "HANDS UP WHO WANTS TO TOUR A QUAINT SEASIDE BED & BREAKFAST & BALLS", "TIME TO SING", "IT DOESN'T MATTER WHAT I'M DOING ON THE CAMPUS THIS LATE, I'M ASKING FOR A RIDE HOME AND A SHIRT", "I BONKED MY HEAD", "OKAY NOW I'M AN AMBULANCE", "HURMPH URMPH", "CLASS POTATO : PUBLIC VEGETABLE", "WE CHIPPED IN AND BOUGHT YOU A LENGTH OF ROPE", "AND A ONE AND A TWO AND A", "HINT: I'M SUCKING YOU RIGHT NOW (LOOK DOWN)", "I WAS A LOYAL DEDICATED AND OFTEN VERY STONED EMPLOYEE AND THIS IS THE THANKS I GET ??????????????????", "THANKS FOR ALL THE MORNINGS OF NOTHING EVEN THOUGH YOU CAN PLAINLY SEE MY FUCKING BONER", "DO I PUT THE PLUGIN INTO THE PLUGINS FOLDER OR SHOVE IT DIRECTLY UP MY BIG FAT ASS", "YOU'RE SMOTHERING ME IN THIS RELATIONSHIP", "THAT'S H-T-T-P COLON SLASH SLASH HURRRF URBLE DONGS", "CALLING THE IT GUY OVER AND ASKING HIM TO BLOCK LIVE JASMIN POPUPS", "LIFTING A LEG AND TRYING TO FART BUT NOTHING HAPPENS WHILE ALL THE PROGRAMMERS FROM INDIA SIT QUIETLY ", "MORE PIZZA AND BEER PLEASE MY PANTS ARE FALLING DOWN", "SPLURK SPLORT", "THINKING HOW PLEASANT IT WOULD BE THROW A BIG AUSTIN INDIAN BLANKET OVER HER, ROLL HER UP INTO A VAN, GO FOR A DRIVE, DUMP HER INTO A PRE-MADE HOLE", "I'LL BE HOLDING AN INFORMAL NETWORK SECURITY SEMINAR IN THE PARKING LOT DURING LUNCH", "BLAHBLHABLHAB CAN'T SHUT UP ABOUT CURLY BRACES", "INTRODUCING A KINDER, GENTLER, MORE RELAXED DEUCE!!!! ONLY ON JERKCITY", "IF YOU SUCK COCK AND THEN GET PURPLY AIDS BRUISES AT YOUR OWN WEDDING", "CLICK HERE TO SKIP THIS AD OR WAIT 30 SECONDS.", "PUMP ME SO FULL OF SPURT I HONK LIKE A GOOSE", "AND I'M LIKE \"YOU'RE FREAKING ME OUT\" BUT IT WON'T SHUT UP", "MORNING WOOD!!!!!!!!", "T PANTS THERE'S A SINGLE WHITE SOCK BEHIND MY DOWNSTAIRS COUCH, WONDERED IF IT'S THE ONE FROM THE PARKING GARAGE", "THESE PRIMITIVE DIGGING INSTRUMENTS LATER GAVE WAY FOR ONE OF THE BIGGEST BREAKTHROUGHS OF ALL TIME: THE PORN SHOVEL", "SUCKING DICK BEHIND THE SERVLETS", "GONNA LIVE BLOG ME BEATING OFF", "SHOULD MY EHARMONY PROFILE SAY \"I LIKE BURRITOS\" OR \"I HAVE A PASSION FOR BURRITOS\"", "WAKE UP", "I'M NOT COMFORTABLE IN THIS HABITAT", "I'M LOOKING IN THE MIRROR AND I JUST DON'T LIKE WHO I AM ANYMORE", "S9-23", "ALL MY PORNING IS WORTH IT IF I CAN I.D. PORN STARS JUST BY THE SPLATTERS THEY LEAVE BEHIND", "CAN WE JUST NOT FIGHT IN FRONT OF THE DOG AND THE CAT ANYMORE", "YOU'RE RAPING ME BECAUSE OF MY BAD ATTITUDE", "MY MOUTH REMAINS UNLOCKED DURING BUSINESS HOURS", "LET'S ALL DO THE DEAD PARROT SKETCH", "HEY EVERYONE!!!! I'M A FUCKING PEDOPHILE AND HERE ARE MY GIFS!!!! FUCK YOU TO THE FBI!!!!!!!", "OKAY THE CURTAIN RISES AND WE SEE A SINGLE GHOST FLOATING OVER A BATHHOUSE", "BATTER BATTER BATTER BATTER BATTER SWING BATTER / YOUR FACE / THE GROUND / A TOOTH", "I SAID ****DISCREET**** BLOWJOBS AVAILABLE IN MY PARKING GARA-- SHOULD PROLLY KEEP MY VOICE DOWN", "FRESHLY BAKED DONGS!!!!!!!", "HOW CAN I NAVIGATE THE NET WHEN I CAN'T EVEN NAVIGATE MY NUTS", "DAY SIX: WHEEZING A LITTLE BIT", "LET'S ALL ACT UP AND FIGHT AIDS AND LICK BALLS", "QUITTING JERKCITY AND WAITING TABLES", "HEIL HITLER EVERYBODY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!", "FOLKS IF YOU'RE FORCED TO SUCK DICK AS A CHILD YOU WON'T ENJOY IT AS AN ADULT", "LADY YOUR APARTMENT LOOKS LIKE A CHEAP HOLIDAY INN IN BAKERSFIELD", "EVEN OP'S CAT IS A FAGGOT", "HOO BOO DUH HUH SPAZZING OUT LIKE A FIFTH GRADE RETARD", "T PANTS WE COULD MAKE HATS OUT OF CONSTRUCTION PAPER", "I DESPERATELY HAVE TO GO TO THE T-O-I-L-E-T", "COULD SOMEONE PLEASE WRITE A SONG FOR ME", "JUST KEEP CLICKING TILL YOUR HOUSE BURNS DOWN", "CLONK BONK BONK BONK BA-DONK BA-DONK BA-DONK HELLO DONK DONK DONK", "FOLKS I HAVE A TERRIBLE SECRET THAT I NEED YOU TO TAKE TO YOUR GRAVE: I AM A TERRIBLE DJ BECAUSE I DON'T GIVE A SHIT ABOUT MUSIC", "CAN I INTEREST YOU GENTLEMEN IN SOME SICK BEATS:", "Y'ALL READY FOR THIS", "T DEUCE I LIKE SOMETIMES TO WAVE IT HIGH UP WHERE EVERYONE CAN SEE", "THE QUEER MAGAZINES ARE FOR AN ART PROJECT, NOT A BEATING OFF PROJECT", "WHISPERING LIKE A GHOST IN THE WOODS:", "HOT TOWN / SUMMER IN THE SHITTER", "CD HURF DUH VI ~:WQ! HONK", "HBLURHLBURHLUEHB RECOGNIZING THE COWBOY BOOTS FROM THE LAST EXPO BHLEBH", "I GOT STONED AND ATE A POUND CAKE LAST NIGHT", "I LIKE NUTS EVERYONE", "ROUGHLY 5ML GAY", "GAVE HER AIDS AND KICKED HER OUT", "TITS -AND- GTFO", "T DEUCE KNOCK KNOCK", "CAN WE DO A KICKSTARTER TO TEAR DOWN THE OATMEAL'S TESLA MUSEUM", "VERY FUNNY SCOTTY!!!!! NOW BEAM ME DOWN MY CLOTHES!!!!!!!!!", "YOU ALL GO ON AHEAD, THE PRIVATE AND I ARE GOING TO JERK OFF", "WELL I'M MARTIN LUTHER KING / AND I'M HERE TO SAY", "SENNNNNNNNNNNNNNURK", "MANHANDLED COCKPIG FANATICS", "WHAT WOULD BE FUNNY WOULD BE TO REGISTER JERKCITY.COM", "WHY THERE'S THE DEUCE, MAYOR OF SMARTSVILLE: HI DEUCE", "NOT APPEARING IN JERKCITY AGAIN UNTIL WE INSTITUTE A NO CUM DODGING ALLOWED POLICY", "T NET LET'S SUCK DICK AND NEVER FIGHT AGAIN", "WE'VE REALLY GOTTEN OFF THE ORIGINAL TOPIC OF WHO FORGED VOICE MAIL FROM ME TO THE WHOLE COMPANY TRYING TO SELL CHOCOLATE EASTER DICKS", "IMAGINING A GLOSS-FINISH ADULT VIDEO BOX COVER ADORNED WITH CLIP ART OF JIZZ SPLOPS AND VIDCAPS BUT THE TITLE IN NEON PINK IS SOMETHING LIKE IT'S OKAY WE CAN TRY AGAIN IN A FEW MINUTES", "IS THIS THE RED LIGHT DISTRICT OF CYBERSPACE", "HOLY SHIT THE MARS ROVER FOUND MORE CLUMPED-UP DIRT CLODS", "KNOCK KNOCK / SUCK A COCK (END OF JOKE)", "I JUST DON'T WANT TO GO UPSTAIRS AND POUR THE DIRTY SHAMPOO WATER INTO THE SINK AND WRAP THE CORD AROUND THE THING AND PUT IT BACK IN THE CLOSET", "MEANWHILE THE SHAMPOO VAC IS STILL SITTING OUT", "T DEUCE KNOCK KNOCK", "LET'S ALL JERK OUR DICKS AND GIVE A SHIT ABOUT COMPUTERS", "COMPLETE SILENCE", "''''''", "I'M GOING TO HOLD MY BREATH UNTIL WE'RE ALL GAY IN THE FACE", "CLOMP", "HEY EVERYONE LOOK UP THERE IN THE SKY", "LET'S HAVE A FUCKING PARADE", "I LIKE TO MAKE A PAPER CHAIN AND TEAR OFF A LINK WITH EACH DAY I DON'T JERK OFF OR EVEN THINK ABOUT DICK AND ONLY WHEN THE CHAIN IS GONE DO I SUCK DICK", "OH MY GOD", "WHY ARE WE ALL HANDCUFFED TO THE TRAIN TRACKS", "\"IT'S NOW TIME FOR ME TO PASS 'STAR WARS' TO ON TO A NEW GENERATION OF FLLLRRRRRHHHHHGG,\" MR. LUCAS SAID IN A STATEMENT. \"GLLLLLGGGGG.\"", "HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH", "LET'S BOTH SQUEEZE INTO THE TUB", "EVERYONE HERE WHO'S GAY LET'S HAVE A SHOW OF DONGS", "YOU ARE SERIOUSLY HUMPING MY FACE ALONG A Z AXIS", "T DEUCE YOU SAY THE PLOT OF A MOVIE AND I'LL GUESS THE TITLE AND IF I DON'T GET IT RIGHT I HAVE TO SUCK ALL THE DICKS IN THE WORLD", "WILL YOU PLEASE STOP SAYING THAT I'M SPROINGING A SERIOUS ROD OVER YONDER", "I'M WEARING FAT PANTS AND CHASING SKIRTS", "EVERYTHING ABOUT YOU I'M GOING TO PUNCH", "YOU PUT THE LICK IN LICK MY DICK", "ARE YOU BEATING OFF ON MY FACE AFTER WORK", "I THINK YOUR SITE IS GREAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!", "WOO HOO UH DUH BURP FURP IS THIS WHAT FAGGOTS DO", "CLOMP CLOMP CLOMP SQUEAK SLAM", "IT'S SORT OF AN INTERNET SOAP OPERA, WHERE USERS CAN TUNE IN EACH DAY AND SEE WHAT THEIR FAVORITE CHARACTERS ARE DOING", "CONCERNED ABOUT MY ASS FATNESS", "DO YOU LIKE CHEX PARTY MIX W/PRETZELS", "JUST IMAGINING ACCOUNT MANAGERS NEEDED TO BE BROUGHT IN TO EXPAND THE SCOPE OF THE DISCUSSION WITH THE CLIENT BEFORE THE FOURTH SPURTING COCK WAS FINALIZED", "T PANTS YOU SAID THERE WOULD BE CHICKS HERE", "JUST HAPPY TO BE HERE", "GOOD LORD", "ATDT", "HOMP", "SOAKED WITH PISS IN BONEQUEST", "POP POP POP!!! I THOUGHT IT WAS FIREWORKS OR A CAR BACKFIRING!!! THEN I REALIZED IT WAS ME!!!! DIPSHIT WITH HUGE BULLET HOLES IN MY FACE AND HEAD!!!!! WELL MY FIRST REACTION WAS SANDY HOOK ALL OVER AGAIN!!!!!! THEN I FAINTED AND BASHED MY CHIN ON THE DRINKING FOUNTAIN AND DIED AND WENT STRAIGHT TO HELL FOREVER AND GOOD FUCKING RIDDANCE", "T PANTS MAYBE DEUCE WILL LEARN THE JAVA FOR US", "I WATCHED DJANGO UNCHAINED TWO TIMES AND NOT ONCE DID I HEAR THE N-WORD", "T DEUCE SO TRUE OR FALSE WE'RE ALL GOING TO BE GAY TOGETHER", "BEAT BEAT BEAT", "FOLKS THE WAR ON RAPE HASN'T WORKED AND WE NEED TO LEGALIZE RAPE", "BUT I NEED COCK *TODAY*", "CLEAR", "APPLYING THE PADDLES", "CLEAR", "AS A LONGTIME LURKER I WOULD LIKE TO RECOMMEND YOU DOWNLOAD THE LATEST INSTALLER", "NEXT STOP PLEASE", "CAN YOU PUT ON AURORA SNOW GARKING IN THE BACKGROUND (QUIETLY)", "LET'S GET LOST", "LOOKS LIKE IT'S JUST YOU AND ME AND MY NEW BELT", "LET'S GO BACK IN TIME AND DROWN KEVIN SMITH AND THEN FAST FORWARD IN TIME TO LIVE IN A BETTER PLACE", "LEVER > TRAP DOOR > ORANGE PORTAL > BLUE PORTAL > OUTER SPACE", "SERIOUS ABOUT ALL THE CANDY", "SOMETIMES YOU JUST WANT TO JERK OFF TO CHUBBY MEN AND THAT'S ALL THERE IS TO IT", "I SPLASHED EAU DE PARFUME ON MY NUTS AND YOU SAID NOTHING", "TEN YEARS AGO I WAS IN WIREDD", "IF I WANTED TO LEARN ABOUT SCIENCE AND MEDICINE I'D ORDER A PROSTITUTE", "UH", "NRKXKKXK SNURK ZZZZ WHAT [BONK] I'M AWAKE", "SPLURK SPLORK PLOP ALL OVER YOUR FACE AND DRESS YOU STUPID BITCH", "HUFFING AND PUFFING DON'T DRIVE AWAY", "WHEN I POKE THE LOOSE FLAP IN HIS CUBE WALL AND PUSH MY FACE THROUGH AND SHOUT \"BONER MANIA\" SOMETIMES HE DROPS HIS FRESCA", "LOOK I DON'T KNOW HOW THEY DID THINGS AT WALDENBOOKS BUT AROUND HERE WE'RE COURTEOUS AND CARING TOWARD BOTS", "RUNNING OUT OF COMEDY", "HAMBURGER ALERT!!!!!!!!!!!!! DING DING DING DING WAKE UP", "I SUCK ROYAL DICKS", "WE HAVE TO HELP THE ****WIZARD**** RAPE THE ****PRINCESS****", "YOU ARE POKING ME SQUARE IN THE MOUTH!!!!!", "CONTINUE READING THIS SALON PREMIUM ARTICLE FOR A THOUSAND DOLLARS >>", "EVEN MY DONG BEHAVES DIFFERENTLY IF IT'S BEING OBSERVED", "I THINK I'LL SUCK WHATEVER THIS IS", "T ATANDT :-)", "IF YOU'RE HAPPY AND YOU KNOW IT LICK A DICK", "TYPE 2 DIARRHEA", "YOU HAVE 19 OUTSTANDING TASKS THAT HAVE ALL BEEN OPEN FOR 3 DAYS AND THEY'RE ALL ABOUT HEAD", "NEED FRIES", "HEY IT'S JUST ME LEAVING A MESSAGE WITH IMPLIED URGENCY BUT NO CONTEXT!!!! PLEASE CALL BACK WHEN YOU GET A SEC", "I THINK I'VE BEEN FUNNY ENOUGH FOR ONE DAY", "PUSH THE PRICKS INTO YOUR FACE AND THEN INTO MINE", "SAY WHAT NOW", "T DEUCE I SEE A MORNING CONFERENCE TABLE WHERE BRIGHTLY-BEAKED 20SOMETHINGS ARE EXCITEDLY PITCHING THEIR IDEAS FOR CONTENT BUT THEN THE DOOR LOCKS AND THE ROOM FILLS UP WITH WET CEMENT", "FOLKS I HOPE YOUR BUSINESS-CRITICAL APPS ARE AVAILABLE IN THE CLOUD", "BIG / FUCKIN / DICKS", "JEAN CHARLES YOU FOOL, YOU HAVE EATEN THE ENTIRE CAKE", "T PANTS I WAS IN THE OSILLOSCOPE ROOM LISTENING TO YOU SING SONGS ABOUT YOUR CATS THE WHOLE TIME", "ALL I SEE IS HIS UNBUTTONED PURMPH", "NOT ONLY CAN I SMOKE DOPE AFTER WORK BUT ALSO BEFORE WORK AND IN THE BATHROOM AT WORK", "HOW ABOUT I SINGLE OUT YOUR DICK!!! FOR LICKING!!!!! BY ME!!!!!", "HOW COME WHEN I WEDGE AND STUFF PAPER INTO THE PRINTER IT DOESN'T GO OVER THE NETWORK AND RENDER DICKS ON MY SCREEN REMOTELY", "I COULDN'T HELP NOTICING HOW YOU'RE UNDER MY DESK SLOBBERING ALL OVER MY NUTS WHILE I TRY TO FIX MY PRECOMPILED HEADER PROBLEM", "THE MUHHHHHHH HUHHHHHHHH", "CAN I PLEASE JOIN YOU GUYS IN STALL 2", "T DEUCE WILL YOU BE ATTENDING BUTTMAN'S JAVASCRIPT CLASS", "WELPS I'M LOGGIN OUT AND NEVER COMING BACK BECAUSE I JUST GOT MAIL SAYING SOMEONE HAS AN E-CRUSH ON ME!!!!!", "BANNER ADS?!?!? PARTNERSHIP PROGRAMS?!?!? AMAZON BUTTONS/LINKS/BASKETS?!?!?! WHICHEVER BANDWAGON!!!!!! I'M HERE TO SUCK DICK LIKE A BATTERED WOMAN TOO AFRAID TO LEAVE!!!!!!! X2391", "HOW DOES IT FEEL TO HAVE YOUR NAME, DNA, AND FINGERPRINTS", "T PANTS NEED THAT JERKCITY BOOK MONEY **NOW**", "HIDING UNDER THE DESK IN THE CAFETERIA", "A WOMAN'S RIGHT TO CHARLESTON CHEWS MAYBE", "SAID NO ONE ******EVER******", "PLEASE STICK TO THE PROTOCOL: HTTP://__________ WHERE _____ IS SOMETHING FUNNY THAT BRIEFLY TAKES MY MIND OFF SUICIDE", "THERE'S NOTHING FUNNY ABOUT LIVING WITH MY CATS ON NOB HILL", "BONERS AND BALLS IN THE CRISPER IF ANYONE MISSED DINNER", "MAYBE THE JURY CAN ASK WHY THERE WERE TROPICAL DRINKS ON THE CRUISE SHIP", "BY ANY CHANCE DID I LEAVE MY PENIS PUMP AT THE COVENSTEAD", "FOLKS IS THERE ANYTHING MORE BORING THAN A CHEERLEADER", "HUBBLE SPIRALS OUT INTO SPACE, KNOCKS MOON OUT OF ORBIT", "MY MAIN PROBLEMS INCLUDE THE LOGIC AND HOW TO DISPLAY PIECES AND HOW THE GAME SHOULD PRETEND TO BE A PERSON AND HOW I CAN MAKE CHESS ICONS AND HOW I CAN REGISTER A DOMAIN AND THE RULES OF CHESS (HARD) FINALLY RELEASED!!!! IT'S CALLED HORSE ALONE ON A BOARD AND YOU MOVE HIM AROUND", "YOU MUST BE <------THIS------> RETARDED", "THE WHOLE WORLD CAN BE YOUR STAGE WHEN YOU'RE FAT LIKE ME", "T DEUCE WILL YOU GO UNDER THE CHERRY MOON WITH ME", "T PANTS WILL YOU GO ON GOLDEN POND WITH ME", "GREEN LIGHT THAT AND SMOKE DOPE WITH ME", "GETTING UP EARLY FOR AN ANAL CASTING CALL", "GOD / BLESS / *BLAM*", "MY WHOLE LIFE IS UP THE NUTS AND SPLOSHING DOWN THE CRAPPER", "IF SUCH OF A THING IS PERMITTED/POSSIBLE/PLAUSIBLE", "HOW LONG WERE YOU OUTSIDE MY WINDOW", "AS SOON AS I'VE QUIT JERKCITY I CAN GET STARTED ON THOSE BUTTERED MUFFINS", "PLEASE DO NOT EAT FOOD FROM THE FRIDGE IF IT'S IN A BAG (TAPED) WITH MY NAME ON IT!!! IT IS PROBABLY NOT YOURS!!! ;-)", "WOULD YOU DESCRIBE JERKCITY AS:", "EXCITED ABOUT THE BATTER-COATED BURGER KING FRIES", "FOR A GRAND TOTAL OF............... GAY", "PICARD CAN BEAT KIRK'S FAT LIMPY ASS AND LEGS INTO THE TOILET", "LAST NIGHT FOUR BLACK GUYS PUNCHED ME IN THE FACE AND JERKED OFF ALL OVER MY HEAD", "TIRED OF ALL THE SEXISM AND RAPE JOKES ON THE INTERNET [RANT, TRIGGER WARNING]", "9:00-9:30 THINK ABOUT YOUR DUMB CATS", "NEXT TIME WE'RE IN THE CITY WE'RE NOT GOING TO THE BUTT WAGON", "WILL YOU JUST FUCKING LOOK DOWN AND SEE THE FLAMING BAG OF DOG SHIT AND STEP ON IT", "RING RING", "ALL RIGHT YOU CAUGHT ME", "FIRST I'LL JIZZ UP YOUR FACE SO YOU LOOK LIKE A RODEO CLOWN", "THE VIRTUAL ENVIRONMENT IS ACTUALLY A TOILET WITH THE LIGHTS OFF", "WELL YOU TELL THEM TO FIND A SHE-MALE WHOSE PENIS DOESN'T LOOK LIKE A WET TUBE SOCK", "I'M JUST GOING TO SING UNTIL TV'S ON", "T DEUCE I ALSO THINK YOU ARE NEAT AND I HAVE LINKED YOUR BALLS PERMANENTLY TO MY MOUTH AND FACE (SO I CAN'T GET AWAY OR DO WORK)", "I'M NOT GETTING ANY JIZZIER", "WELL THEN EITHER YOU'RE 18 OR ABUSED", "TAKING MY LAST 1/2 ADDERALL AND BUYING ALL THE BREAD AT WHOLE FOODS", "WHERE CAN I LEARN MORE ABOUT JERKCITY", "BOYSENBERRY FLAPJACKS AND BUTTERY BUCKWHEAT MUFFINS", "SMOOSH IT ALL INTO MY MOUTH PLEASE", "NEED A J/O BUDDY DURING MY NE[OBSCURED] PORTLAND, OREGON", "KNOCK KNOCK", "FRONT DESK PEOPLE AT THE SF HILTON MAKE $11.94 AN HOUR (STARTING)", "MY BONER'S FLOATING UP TO HEAVEN", "PLEASE FOLLOW ME DOWN THE HALLWAY ASKING ME QUESTIONS", "I DON'T UNDERSTAND", "I THOUGHT DIX WAS DENVER INTERNATIONAL AIRPORT!!!!!!!! INSTEAD I AM IN A COMPARTMENT???????", "WHAT'S FUNNY IS HOW THREE BAKED POTATOES WITH BUTTER LATER I HVAE TO CLOSE THE DOOR BECAUSE OF ALL THE FARTS", "T DEUCE IT'S 2014 WE DON'T BEAT OFF TO MAGAZINES LIKE HUSTLER AND SEARS ROEBUCK", "I AM CONCERNED THAT I AM NOT HIGH (STARING OUT THE WINDOW CONTEMPLATING MY JOB, MY HORRIBLE LIFE, MY PLACE IN THE JOHN)", "I GET A CHOCOLATE SHAKE EVERY CHRISTMAS", "VERY EXCITED ABOUT SEEING \"NUNSENSE\" AT THE COW PALACE", "TURNS OUT ALL THEY CAN DO IS BEAT THEMSELVES OFF", "A COUPLA DOZEN COCKS AND PEOPLE WANNA LABEL YOU", "ROCCO'S FAVORITE REFACTORING TECHNIQUES 4", "HEY GALS ARE WE DONE SHAVING ONLY ONE SIDE OF OUR HAIR", "WHAT'S IMPORTANT IS THAT MY HAND HAS BEEN ON YOUR LAP FOR TEN MINUTES", "I LIKE SUCKING AND/OR GETTING SUCKED", "S9-23", "PUT ON A SANTA SUIT AND CLOMP AROUND THE HOUSE", "T DEUCE TELL PANTS I NEED MY CYNDI LAUPER TAPE BACK ALREADY", "AND IF THE FOOD IS TOO BIG FOR MY MOUTH IT'S A PROBLEM FOR THE COURTS", "IN THE NAME OF THIS WACKY KANGAROO COURT WE CALL SPACESHIP EARTH!!!!!!...", "THIS WAY DOCTOR FREEMAN", "FRESHLY BAKED DONGS!!!!!!!", "ENJOY THESE TITS FROM THE 20TH FUCKING CENTURY!!!!!!!!!!!!", "T DEUCE A BEE FLEW INTO MY FRESCA", "HI I'M FARTLES", "ELLO", "BEEP BOOP BOOP BEEP BEEP BOOP CAN YOU HEAR MY MORSE", "IS THIS FREQUENCY IN USE?????????????????????????????????????????", "EXCUSE ME EVERYBODY BE QUIET", "HONK BONK DONK", "I AM HERE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!", "WALKING AROUND LIKE I'M THE LICK OF THE DICK", "THAT WHOLE THING LOOKS LIKE GOATSE", "T PANTS ARE YOU GOING TO GRAB @LIFEQUACKS AND TELL FOLKS HOW THEY CAN BEST FEED YOU BREADS AND CROUTONS AND PASTRIES", "CAN WE ALL JUST GET THE TWITTER AND FACEBOOK AND LINKED IN LOGOS TATTOOED ON OUR FUCKING FACES", "OKAY PEOPLE I'M THE TIMECOP", "T DEUCE I THINK IN MY WHOLE LIFE I'VE HAD MAYBE TWO BONERS", "NOTE TO MYSELF", "WILL NOBODY CHARGE ME AS A JUVENILE?!?!!?", "ALL OF TODAY'S WEB NEWS PRINTED OUT AND ROLLED INTO A TUBE AND I'M MARCHING UP AND DOWN THE TOWN SQUARE SHOUTING THROUGH IT LIKE A TRUMPETY MEGAPHONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!", "HELP HELP WE'RE DROWNING", "I CAN'T FIT MY PANTS ON OVER ALL THIS POO", "T PANTS YOU PROMISED DONGS AND BONGS AND BURGERS, INSTEAD I HAVE BEEN HELPING YOU PULL WEEDS FOR FORTY FIVE MINUTES", "PRETEND I'M THE 54 TO WESTGATE AND YANK MY DONG AND SAY NEXT STOP", "NIGHT AND DAY", "WHY DO YOU HAVE TO PUSH IT UP THERE ALL THE TIME?!?!?!?", "T PANTS WHAT'S A DIR", "IS A CROWDFUND LIKE A BLOWBANG", "SITTING ON THE TOILET AND LETTING LOOSE WITH A BLOG TORRENT", "MAKIN' THE SCENE HOO DEE BOO DANCING", "CAN WE HELP HUMANS JUST GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY WAY ON A SIDEWALK", "YOU'RE MAKING BEING STONED AT 1PM IN THE AFTERNOON UNPLEASANT", "GET ***OVER*** IT PEOPLE", "IT JUST GOES TO PROVE WHY I FIND YOU COMPLETELY REPELLANT", "I'D LIKE THE PORN COURT TO RELEASE THE VIDEOS I FUCKING ORDERED", "URF YOU KICKED ME SQUARE IN THE FRUITABLES", "MMR URF I'M A HUMAN BEAT BOX DON'T COPY THAT FLOPPY HURR HIP BIP", "OK, SO FAR \"TABLOID\" BY ERROL MORRIS IS AN UTTERLY CHARMING AND SPOOKY DOCUMENTARY", "IF SOMEONE COULD PLEASE NOTICE ME", "I HOPE IT GETS SHOT ON THE BUS", "A1: COCKS IN THE FACE", "ANY 1 STROKIN' IT????", "WHAT HOPE HAVE WE NOW OF LICKING DONGS", "NOT ACCUSING YOU, BUT FIVE PEPPERONI HOT POCKETS ARE MISSING", "I WONDER IF I GOT A COLLEGE DEGREE AND ROLLED IT UP INTO A TUBE AND SET IT ON FIRE I COULD BLAST OFF TO MARS!!!!!!!!", "OH I UNDERSTAND", "I'M FILLED TO THE BRIM WITH THE RICHNESS OF LIQUOR", "WHY DOES MY HEAD HURT EVERY FUCKING MORNING", "WHO'S THAT FASTENING A GIRAFFE TO THE TOP OF HIS BMW LIKE A CHRISTMAS TREE", "I WONDER IF YOU HAVE EVER SUCKED A DICK IN SPACE", "IF ANYONE CAN HEAR ME SHOUTING I'M VERY MUCH ON FIRE!!!!!!", "FOLKS THE REASON THERE ARE SO MANY MORE MEN THAN WOMEN IN COMPUTER SCIENCE IS BECAUSE IT'S NOT OUR RESPONSIBILITY TO RECTIFY THE IMBALANCE.", "HI I'M MARILYN VOS SAVANT, PERHAPS YOU'VE SEEN ME SUCKING DICK IN \"PARADE\"", "CHRISTMAS IS COMING / THE GOOSE IS GETTING FAT", "THE WEBSITE AHEAD CONTAINS MALWARE!", "WHY CAN'T I SEE ALL THE FOOTAGE FROM WHEN I WOKE UP AFTER 24 HOURS OF SLEEP AND STUMBLED AROUND OPENING AND CLOSING COOKIE DRAWERS", "DICKS DICKS DICKS DICKS DICKS DICKS DICKS DICKS", "WHAT HAPPENS TO A DICK UNLICKED?!?!?!", "WHAT HAPPENS TO A DICK UNLICKED?!?!?!", "WHAT HAPPENS TO A DICK UNLICKED?!?!?!", "KEEP REACHING FOR THAT BIG FAT DICK IN THE SKY", "HAZELNUT TORTE", "HUHHHHH I HELD MY BREATH THE WHOLE TIME JERKCITY WAS DOWN", "POURING WET CEMENT THROUGH THE SKYLIGHT OF THE HAM SHACK", "I WOULD JUST LIKE TO BE TREATED WITH DIGNITY AND RESPUHHHHH", "\"SLOBBERING AND CRUNCHING LOUDLY\"", "X", "I HAVE BEEN BLOWING AND TWEETING MY GAY RAVE WHISTLE FROM STALL 2 FOR NEARLY THIRTY MINUTES", "SERIOUSLY, WHAT IS THE SOUND OF ONE DICK LICKING", "THIS PLACE IS A DUMP", "I UPLOADED A PICTURE OF MY BREAKFAST", "CHOPPING UP COKE WITH MY LUCKY REWARDS CARD AND SNORTING IT UP WITH MY BONUS FAMILY MINUTES", "O_O MY UPSIDE-DOWN TRONCYCLE", "T PANTS BLINK IF YOU CAN HEAR ME", "FIVE SHAMROCK SHAKES A DAY AND I'M STILL A BLIMP WHAT'S THE DEAL HERE", "YOU ARE SERIOUSLY CHOKING MY FACE WITH YOUR DONG IN SUCH A WAY THAT I MIGHT BE FORCED TO LOG OFF", "TWO GAY VAMPIRES FLAP INTO A BAR", "IN MY DAY, RAPE KITS WERE NOTHING BUT DUCT TAPE AND GARBAGE BAGS!!!", "FOLKS A CAT WALKED ON MY PILLOW AND I THINK I HAVE FELINE AIDS", "ZIPPING UP MY BEAR SUIT!!", "I'M NOT HOMOPHOBIC I DON'T MIND FIGHTING GAY GUYS", "WHO WANTS TO SEE MY BURNING MAN PICS??????????", "MOUTH LOVE", "MY VOICE IS CHANGING PEOPLE BUT I'M STILL GAY", "LOOKING TO WEDGE AGILE ANAL AND EXTREME ANAL PROGRAMMING INTO ONE LINE", "I'M LEAVING", "COULD YOU PLEASE COME BACK HERE AND HAGGLE OVER MY BALLS FOR HALF AN HOUR", "ME AGAIN", "SOMETIMES I FEEL HAPPY", "GURGLING", "IT'S 9/11 ALL OVER AG **KA-BLOOM**", "SO LONG STORY SHORT I'D LIKE TO REDIRECT THE NATURE OF THIS CONVERSATION AND BRING IT ON BACK TO WHY YOU DISCONNECTED MY PHONE AND UTILITIES", "WE'RE GOING HOPPIN'", "CONST COCK", "WHO WANTS TO HELP ME WRITE A VAMPIRE FONTZINE", "SEKA AND SULKA ARE NOT THE SAME PEOPLE", "I'M A DINOSAUR PEOPLE", "HOLY SHIT", "GIVING UP", "OKAY WELL", "LET'S CHOKE DOWN THEIR DONGS AND WEAR STUPID EXPENSIVE NORDSTROM CLOTHES AND EAT BANANA YOGURT", "I'M THE FRUITLESS SUPER-GENE", "]BREAK IN 10", "I CAN'T TALK TO YOU AND LOOK AT THE JIZZY DIR AT THE SAME TIME", "LS -LA", "WHEN LIFE GIVES YOU LEMONS!!!!!!!!!", "AND DILDOS AND DUCT TAPE", "T PANTS HOW ARE YOU VOTING ON PROPOSITION B", "WE DON'T TALK LIKE THAT IN THIS HOUSE", "WHAT", "SPIGOT / SPIGOT / BO BIGOT", "WHAT A GREAT DAY WITH ALL YOU PEOPLE!!!!!!!!!!!", "MAKE SURE TO GET A SHOT OF MY HUGE BOOBS!!!!!!!!!", "OKAY TIME FOR JERKCITY PONG", "GOD MADE THIS DAY FOR ME AND I'M GOING TO SUCK DICK", "I CAN ALWAYS CHOKE DOWN THE BONER TOMORROW", "OKAY I WOULD LIKE PANTS AND DEUCE TO STOP DONG-SLAMMING ME WITH THE POP CULTURE REFERENCES", "CHRISTMAS / CHRISTMAS DONGS / ARE HERE", "I'LL BE PERFORMING THE CHINESE LINKING RINGS AT TH--", "I NEED AN APP THAT WILL PING ME ONCE AN HOUR TO SAY STOP EATING", "I THINK WHAT REAGAN MEANT WAS TO TEAR DOWN THIS WALL AND PUT UP A STALL", "MORE BULLET POINTS, MORE LISTS, MORE VISUALS, MORE SHORT-FORM, MORE MICROCONTENT", "IF I HAVE TO LEARN ONE MORE SCREWY-ASS CURLY-COCK SCRIPTING LANGUAGE I'M GOING TO PISS MYSELF", "WAIT WAIT WAIT", "ON THE TITANIC THERE WOULD ONLY BE ENOUGH STALLS FOR HALF OF US", "SOMETIMES I SET THE ALARM FOR 4AM AND WAKE UP AND JUST CHECK TO SEE IF MY COCKBOT'S OKAY", "HELLO", "WEIRD AL IS ***BACK***!!!!!!!!!!", "AND I WOULD LIKE TO FONDLE ALL OF YOUR COCKS (JUST REAL QUICK)", "CAN DRONES BE USED TO FOLLOW SOMEONE AROUND WITH BIG SIGN THAT SAYS FAG AND MAYBE AN ARROW", "RAPE CULTURE!!!!!!!!!!!", "DOES JERKCITY NEED KATIE COURIC IN THE SIDEBAR LIKE YAHOO", "TAKE ALL THESE SHITS AND PUT THEM IN THOSE BAGS", "FOLKS WHEN YOU GET A NEW PHONE YOUR OLD PHONE BECOMES YOUR TOILET PHONE", "ATLANTA -- CHANNEL 2 ACTION NEWS HAS CONFIRMED I LICK DICK.", "WELCOME SPIGOT'S BURGERS!!!!!!!!", "WHAT ABOUT MY FACE", "WHO'S AS EXCITED AS ME TO PRE-ORDER CHARLEY CHASE'S FIRST ANAL", "I'M FATTY MCBONER AND I'M HERE TO SAY", "SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE??!?? TO SQUIRT MY THIRST???/", "THESE ASTRONOMY PICTURES OF THE DAY ARE ALL MAN/MAN BLOWJOBS!!!?????", "TUGGING YOUR SLEEVE AND BEGGING AND PLEADING WITH YOU NOT TO BELIEVE THE HYPE ABOUT CLOUD COMPUTING AND ARGUING WITH YOU TO CLAIM YOUR FREE WHITEPAPER DOWNLOAD NOW", "I HAVE NOTHING TO SAY, BUT I'M HERE", "SQUIRTCAST, SHITSTREAM, CATBOX", "YOU MAKE ME FEEL SO YOUNG / YOU MAKE ME FFFFFFFFORGETTING", "I NEED MORE DIPPING SAUCE OVER HERE", "FOLKS THE ONLY MEASURED, LOGICAL RESPONSE IS A JERKCITY CARD GAME WITH A BIG THICK HARDCOVER RULEBOOK RIDDLED WITH INCONSISTENCIES AND IMPOSSIBLE TO FOLLOW OR PLAY CORRECTLY", "OPENING THE SKYLIGHT AND BACKING UP THE TRUCK OF WET CEMENT", "THE BONGS THEY ARE A-SMOKIN' / AND THESE DONGS THEY ARE A-POKIN'", "THIS LOOKS MORE LIKE THE UNDERSIDE OF THE TOILET AS OPPOSED TO MACWORLD EXPO", "MON - WOKE UP, JERKED OFF IN TUB", "WHY DON'T YOU", "LOOKS LIKE THIS FACILITY . . . . . . .", "BUT I NEED COCK *TODAY*", "SHOULD I DIP MY DONG IN THE HAGEN DAZS OR THE FRUSEN GLDJE OR THE FAHRVERGNGEN", "T PANTS THIS IS NOT A GAY BBS", "SEX!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!", "HAVING A SHAQ ATTACK OVER HERE PEOPLE", "FOLKS WHY AREN'T WE TURNINA", "NEED ANOTHER SEVEN ASTRONAUTS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!", "PLEASE LEAVE SO I CAN BEAT OFF WITH DIGNITY", "JEAN-CHARLES YOU CANNOT LADLE THE SAVORY CREPE BATTER ONTO THE SKILLET AND SIMULTANEOUSLY FLY THE HELICOPTER", "FOLKS IS THE WHITE HOUSE STILL DOWN", "WHO DOESN'T LOCK THE COCKPIT TO BEAT OFF", "I'M GOING TO FLING THIS BALONEY OVER THE WALL OF MY CUBE AND WHOEVER CATCHES IT CAN HAVE IT", "NOT SURE IF YOU'RE UP AT 3AM BUT WE GOT A HOT SUPPORT ISSUE HERE", "IS IT TRUE WHAT THEY SAY", "REPEATER / TIMED / OUT", "\"I WANTED IT TO LOOK LIKE A CHILDREN'S BOOK\" SAID EVERY UNTALENTED 20SOMETHING ANIMATOR ON GOD'S GREEN EARTH", "YOU GOT YOUR BOXES HERE, YOUR GADGETS THERE", "ARE YOU ALL JUST FUCKING DOPES STARING OFF INTO SPACE?!?!?!?", "THERE'S MORE TO ACROBAT THAN JUST THE READER", "I WOULD PLACE AN ENTERTAINING MOVIE ABOVE FRIENDSHIP", "DO YOU NEED A SPECIAL LICENSE TO OPERATE A FAX MACHINE", "WE ARE NOT CONSTANTLY STONED WE TAKE TIME OUT TO FIND WORK AND ORDER POTSTICKERS", "FLINGING IT INTO THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL", "IF YOU'RE A WOMAN, HOW DO YOU GET ON THE INTERNET WITHOUT A MAN? YOU *CAN'T*", "HONK MY DICK LIKE A HORN", "THREE HITS TO MY SITE TODAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!", "YOUR DICK AND BALLS WILL BE MY CROSS TO BEAR", "I'D LIKE TO LICK / THE WORLD A DICK", "THE FIRST RULE FOR ROBOTS SHOULD BE THAT THEY NEVER HARM HUMANS (EXCEPT FOR ONES THAT CRANK CALL ME OR DUMPED ME A LONG TIME AGO)", "OKAY FOR APRIL FOOLS LET'S GO TO THE GLORYHOLE AND SPROING THOSE PEANUT BRITTLE SNAKES AROUND INSTEAD OF OUR DICKS IT'LL BE GREAT", "BEAT-OFF MODE", "WHA", "FOLKS GOT A NEW THING CALLED THE APPLE WATCH", "PLUMP", "CLONK", "FRISBEE GOLF OR AS I CALL IT ............ FROLF", "WHAT IF EVERYBODY IN THE WHOLE WORLD FLUSHED THE TOILET AT THE SAME TIME", "CAN SOMEONE TAPE SEX AND THE CITY FOR ME AND THEN MAIL ME THE TAPE", "I'D LIKE TO SEE NASA/HUBBLE'S PHOTOS OF THE JERKCITY GALAXY", "OPTIMIZED FOR DICKS", "WHY ARE THERE NO WOMEN IN SCIENCE???", "LIL' SPURTS", "THEN I BEAT OFF AND WENT TO BED", "HAM RADIO IS THE ONLY ACTIVITY I'VE EVER PURSUED WHERE I CAN LITERALLY POINT TO EVERY SINGLE OTHER PERSON IN THE HOBBY AND SAY YOU'RE AN IDIOT / YOU'RE A DUMBSHIT / YOU'RE AUTISTIC / YOU'RE A FUCKFACE, ETC - WITHOUT EXCEPTION (DEUCE EXCLUDED)", "SMOOSH IT ALL OVER MY FACE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD", "HOW DO YOU MAKE COLDS GO AWAY QUICKLY", "OKAY HERE I HAVE AN ORDINARY EVERYDAY DOLLAR BILL", "FOLKS, JUST BUBBLING THIS UP SO IT'S TOP OF MIND: I SUCK DICK", "IF I WERE GOD I'D CHANGE THE CHANNEL AND WATCH NOTHING BUT FUNNY EMBARRASSING MOMENTS FROM AMERICA'S GLORYHOLES", "DO WE THINK THE SHOOTER WAS AT ALL AFFLICTED BY N.A.D.D.", "AND THE NOMINEES FOR BEST CRUSHING AND SNORTING OF PILLS ARE", "FOLKS ARE WE PUMPED FOR MADDEN 16", "OKAY WELL, ASKING AGAIN:", "GIVE US THIS DAY SOME FUCKING HEAD FOR THE LOVE OF THE LORD", "ANAL MILFS / ANAL MILFS (SPIDERMAN THEME)", "OOF OW WHAT THE", "...:::;;;===((({{{[[[<<< HI >>>]]]}}})))===;;;:::...", "T PANTS AM I GOING TO CRASH JERKCITY", "FLAPPING THE LION'S MOUTH UP AND DOWN: PUT TRASH IN ME", "T DEUCE SITTING DOWN WITH HR AND ARRANGING 21 DAYS IN REHAB TO RECOVER FROM A POV OVERDOSE", "I HAVE TO OPEN SOMETHING?????", "I'M GAY", "BLAM BLAM BLAM", "SANJAY DUTT HEADS BACK TO JAIL", "HOW ABOUT A MUSEUM OF MODERN FARTS?!?!?!?!? WOULD THAT BE FUNNY!!!!!", "IT WOULD BE A BUNCH OF TAPE RECORDERS PLAYING FARTS AND ALSO A HISTORY OF FARTS", "I WOULD LIKE TO THINK IT INVOLVES PIE AND/OR YOU GIVING ME PIE", "HUH?????? BETTER GOOGLE SHAY FOX NOODLE DICKS", "WHY CAN'T EVERY SPORTS PERSON BE FOUND DEAD IN A BROTHEL", "RESPECTFULLY I DON'T THINK KATIE GOLD IS A 'BUSTY' BEAUTY SO MAYBE WE COULD ALL REGROUP", "IT'S DICKLICKING MONTH AT YOUR NORTHERN CALIFORNIA MAZDA DEALER", "WHAT DO WE WANT?????", "TONIGHT'S TOPIC: NAZI GERMANY", "I DON'T WANT TO SCARE ANYONE BUT", "HOW ABOUT", "FREEZE FRAME BEATING OFF: IT WAS OUTTA RESPECT", "LEFT CLICK??? RIGHT CLICK??? OPTION CLICK??? COMMAND CLICK??? SHIFT CLICK??? DID YOU MOD THE KEYBOARD SO SHIFT AND CTRL ARE REVERSED???? ARE MY TRACKPAD TAPS REGISTERING AS CLICKS?????", "THE HIT MOVIE CLICK STARRING ADAM SANDLER ??????? CLICK IT OR TICKET ??????", "LAST CHANCE TO TELL ME I'M A FUCKHEAD", "THE PORNOGRAPHY I ORDERED WITH MY CREDIT CARD OVER THE INTERNET ARRIVED TODAY", "FOLKS, GONNA START THE DRINKING EARLY SO I CAN GET A HEAD START ON MY AFTERNOON NAP", "REMEMBER TO GET OUT AND VOTE", "I'M GOING TO TAKE ALL YOUR HATE AND PIPE IT IN TO SMILES.PY AND EMAIL YOU THE RESULTING SUNSHINE", "UNBOUNDLOCALERROR: LOCAL VARIABLE 'SMILES' REFERENCED BEFORE ASSIGNMENT", "PLAINTIFF IN-N-OUT BURGERS, A CALIFORNIA CORPORATION (\"PLAINTIFF\" OR \"IN-N-OUT\") BY AND THROUGH ITS UNDERSIGNED COUNSEL", "ARE WE WORRIED THAT MAYBE MY DONG IS THE SCENE OF THE CRIME", "CHRIST JESUS", "T PANTS BY THE WAY I AM GIVING A 5-STAR REVIEW ON YELP FOR THE DEUCE TRIBUTE STRIP", "SPECIAL MESSAGE TO THE GROUP OF PEOPLE TALKING ABOUT ANCHORMAN IN THE BREAK ROOM: DIE AND BE DEAD", "I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH EVERYONE I MEET I'VE GOT DICKS TO LICK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!", "KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK", "LOWERING OURSELVES IN THROUGH THE BATHROOM SKYLIGHT", "AND HE SUCKED IT, HE DIDN'T SLIP ON IT OR JUST LOOK AT IT THROUGH A WINDOW", "IT'S SUPPOSED TO WHAP WHAP WHAP AGAINST YOUR FACE WHILE YOU BLINK AND SQUINCH UP", "T DEUCE IS THERE ANYONE IN THE MARVEL OR DC UNIVERSE WHO CAN GET SOFT ON DEMAND", "T PANTS: REMIND ME OF SOME OF OZONE'S PIG PROBLEMS", "PRINTING, ROLLING INTO TUBE", "I LEAVE FOR TWO HOURS AND THERE'S NO NEW COMEDY", "FOLKS A CLOSED MOUTH GATHERS NO DICKS", "DID I ALREADY DO THE SOB/SNIFF \"I NEED A THOUSAND DOLLARS FOR GAS FROM EACH OF YOU\" BIT", "TWO-PART QUESTION FOR THE LADY", "CRAZY CHOMPY QUEER MOUTH", "I HOPE YOU DON'T MIND I CLEANED YOUR KITCHEN AND FOLDED ALL YOUR CLOTHES", "HOW COME THE AMAZING RANDI ISN'T SKEPTICAL WHEN IT COMES TO LICKING DICK", "ANY OBJECTION IF I ADMINISTER THE VOIGHT-HOMPH TEST (ON MYSELF RIGHT HERE RIGHT NOW)", "HOW-TOS!!!!!!", "I FIGURE AS LONG AS I KEEP DOING NOTHING I'M A WINNER", "DROWN PANTS, TRAVEL BACK TO PRESENT, EVERYONE IS RETARDED", "OVERPROMISING FROM THE GET-GO", "LORD GOD IT'S HAMBURGERS", "IS IT HOT IN HERE", "RUN JERKCITY", "HONK HONK HONK HONK HONK FAT", "EXCUSE ME MA'AM", "CLICK MORE TO LEARN ABOUT ME!!!!!!!!!IMG SRC=\"GAY.JPG>", "-. .-. .-. .-. .--.", "T DEUCE DO YOU REMEMBER IN THE MOVIE 300 WHERE THE GUY SAID SPARTA", "THREE CHEERS FOR DAD'S BALLS", "ALL ON TOP OF ME LIKE THAT", "JUST CHUCK HER OUT ON THE SIDEWALK LIKE A CHRISTMAS TREE", "{{{{{{{ SPIGOT APPEARS IN A SPLORK OF SPURT }}}}}}}", "NO MORE TALK ABOUT HOW MY DOWNLOADS ARE GAY", "DO YOU THINK IF DATA WAS GAY HE WOULD BE CALLED GAYTA", "CAN'T DO IT", "ARE WE STILL DOING THE TWIST", "KNOCK KNOCK!!!", "GOTTA SAY I'M NOT COMFORTABLE WITH ANY OF THOSE GAY THEMES", "I DON'T KNOW WHAT ANY OF THOSE WORDS MEAN AND I DON'T KNOW ANY OF MY LINES", "IS A TRANS LIKE A TRAIN OR A TRAM OR COUNTRY TRANSIT", "PASSWORD STRENGTH: LIMP", "THAT'S A CAN-DO CHIEF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!", "WHOA HOLY GOD SHIT FALLING", "CLOUD COMPUTING IN THE CLOUD", "THIS IS WHERE JIMMY DURANTE POKES HIS NOSE IN AND SAYS YA GOTTA START OFF EACH DAY WITH A SONG", "AHLGHAULGHALG", "\"SOAKED\" \"DRENCHED\" \"SHOWERED\"", "AND DAT'S DAT", "THERE'S A WHITE MOMMAS ***6*** ???????", "ARE WE NOT ROLLING", "OKAY PEOPLE HERE'S A LIST OF EVERYTHING I'VE ACCOMPLISHED THIS WEEK:", "SO UTTERLY JIBBER-JABBERY WITH POINTLESS TALK I CAN BARELY ENJOY MY ICE CREAM", "PANTS PANTS PANTS PANTS PANTS CLAPPING AND CLAPPING AND WAITING FOR YOU TO COME ONSTAGE BUT YOU NEVER DO AND EVERYONE'S HANDS ARE HURTING", "FOLKS I SAW NOTHING IN THE STUDENT HANDBOOK ABOUT UNCONSCIOUS DUMPSTER DATE RAPE", "HE RHYMED DONGS WITH TONGS? BONGS IS MORE ON BRAND, I BLEW IT", "I DON'T WANT TO GET OFF ON A RANT HERE BUT", "BALCOM IN THE BIDDLE (DROOPY VOICE)", "I WOULD BE FINE IF MY TOMBSTONE JUST SAID FOLKS", "SERIES OF WOMEN PHONING IN BLOWJOBS", "TWENTY PERCENT OFF ALL FAT FARTS AT THE FAG STORE", "VVVVVVVVGRGRGRGRGRRGRGRG", "OPENING THE COOKIE DRAWER AND A SINGLE BABY CARROT ROLLS TO THE FRONT LIKE A PENCIL", "I CAME HERE TO LICK DICK AND SUCK PRICK AND I'M NOWHERE NEAR BEING ALL OUT OF EITHER ONE SO I'M ALL GOOD HERE", "FROM: THE WALT DISNEY COMPANY", "I'VE GOT STREPTOCOCUS DISEASE AND E.COLI SO PLEASE LET ME SUCK SOME DICKS", "T DEUCE PLINK PLONK BOING ZOING SING WITH ME", "WHO'S GAY", "I'M A *********REAR********** ADMIRAL!!!!!!!!!!!", "SHOW ME A WOMAN ARTIST ANYWHERE ON THE PLANET", "CHURCH OF JESUS CHRIST OR LATTER DAY SUHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH", "TURN YOUR KEY SIR", "PRICKS AHOY", "IS THAT SOYLENT MEAL REPLACEMENT STUFF JUST PANCAKE BATTER", "YOU GO TO WAR WITH THE DICKS YOU'VE LICKED, NOT THE DICKS YOU WISHED YOU'D LICKED", "CATEGORIES LIKE FEMDOM AND JOI AND BALLBUSTING", "HERE'S A PLATE OF FUCKING FIGS WE CAN ALL SHARE", "I RAN OUT OF JOKES", "IN THE INTEREST OF TRANSPARENCY, I AM COPYING AND PASTING THE TRANSCRIPT OF THAT CONVERSATION HERE:", "I DUNK MY NUTS IN BBQ SAUCE (SOMETIMES HONEY MUSTARD)", "LICKING DICK FOR THE COMPLETE KLUTZ", "IF YOU TAKE FOUR LUMPY, BUCKEYED POTATOES AND CARELESSLY JAM THUMBTACKS IN THEM LIKE OVERSIZED FUCKED-UP TEETH YOU HAVE THE CAST OF STRANGER THINGS", "HOW DO YOU TURN THE OVEN ON", "WHERE'S YOUR BATHROOM", "OH", "NOW I CAN ASK: WHEN SPOCK BEATS OFF DOES HE CONSIDER IT THE 'LOGICAL' THING TO DO OR IS THAT HIS HUMAN SIDE GETTING IN THE WAY AND IF SO WHAT'S THE GAY/TRANSGENDER OVER-UNDER RE: A HUMAN BEATING OFF A VULCAN INSIDE THE SAME PERSON", "--L======L'< CHOMP CHOMP BZZT", "WELL I DISAGREE", "ARE YOU REALLY ASLEEP", "HONEY CAN YOU JUST TURN AROUND AND NOT LOOK AT KEEP THE CRYING DOWN", "AND NOW JUST ONE QUICK LOL BEFORE LICKING SOME DICKS", "PRIME GAPS ARE BOUNDED?????? WHAT ABOUT PRIME RIB", "T PANTS DID YOU EVER FIND OUT WHO ATE ALL THE COOKIES IN THE COOKIE DRAWER.", "THE TWO HAPPIEST DAYS IN A MAN'S LIFE ARE THE DAY HE BUYS HIS BOAT AND THE DAY HE LICKS A DICK", "TO WHOMEVER CONTRIBUTED THE TOILET BRUSH EMOJI, I SALUTE YOU", "PULLING THE BRIDE ASIDE ON HER SPECIAL DAY AND DISCREETLY SHOWING HER THE DOG SHIT I NEARLY STEPPED IN", "IS TODAY STILL A THING", "I SAT IN DOGSHIT", "BATHROOM CAULKING", "T PANTS CAN WE TALK ABOUT SOMETHING SERIOUS", "OKAY", "FSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS THE SOUND OF THE BUS RESIGNED TO PICK UP A WHEELCHAIR PERSON", "OLIVER STONE'S SNOWDEN (2016) JUST INFORMED ME SQL INJECTIONS AND MALWARE WILL TEAR OUR COUNTRY APART IN CYBERSPACE", "ANY SECOND NOW MY ASHTRAY WITH CORK KNOCKER IS GOING TO SHOW UP", "IF I SEE A BABY CHANGING STATION IN ANY OF MY MEN'S ROOMS I'M GOING TO TAKE AIM AND SPLURK OR SPLORK OUT A SPLUTTERY SHIT WITH A LOT OF FANFARE", "THE QUEERS WERE JUST HERE", "NUTS", "MAYBE INSTEAD OF SOCKS WE JERKCITY UP SOME CUSTOM SPANX AND MAKE THIS COUNTRY PRESENTABLE", "{{{{ SMART }}}}} THERMOSTATS", "CHRIST JESUS IT'S 2PM AND PITCH BLACK OUTSIDE", "*IT'S* A LIE", "T PANTS CAN YOU KEEP A SECRET (T DEUCE TOO I GUESS)", "_PACKAGE FOR MISTER FACE_", "OKAY LET ME STOP YOU RIGHT THERE", "(RUBS HANDS) BOY DO I HAVE BIG PLANS TO GET OUR PORN COMPANY BACK ON TOP THIS 2017", "OUR CAMERAS ARE PERMANENTLY AIMED DOWN AT THE FLOOR FOR MAXIMUM SHOE AND FOOT-FOCUSED WHATNOT", "WE GOT COUNTDOWNS, WE GOT RED LIGHT GREEN LIGHT, WE GOT GIRLS PANTOMIMING...", "I PRAY HE DOESN'T GET ANY ON HER BEAUTIFUL FACE", "GOD BLESS THAT SLOBBERY, ENTHUSIASTIC COCKSUCKER AND HER POUTY LITTLE FUCKFACE", "OH CHRIST HERE IT COMES AGAIN LIKE NIAGRA FALLS", "HEY GUESS WHAT", "BJ POWER AND ASSOCIATES", "PROUD TO SAY I JUST CALLED SOMEONE A DUMB DONG (EDITED)", "BLINDFOLD ME AND PUT ME ANYWHERE IN TOWN AND I'LL STUMBLE AND BUMBLE MY WAY TO THE NEAREST KNISH CART", "LET'S TAKE A SHORT BREAK", "T PANTS CAN YOU PLEASE ASK ME WHAT A VSR IS", "THESE SLACKS ARE TIGHT", "BOO", "YOU ARE HALAAL UP IN MY BUSINESS", "HE SAYS YOUR DONG FLOPPED OUT LAST NIGHT", "AND NOW THE PURPOSE OF MY 'FOLKS' IF YOU CAN GIVE ME A MOMENT TO LOCK AND LOAD A TWO-ASSET GAG", "HOME IS WHEREVER THESE SCALLOPED POTATOES DON'T TASTE LIKE MAGAZINES", "THEY LITERALLY MANSPLAINED ALL OVER MY FACE", "IS FORCING A LADY TO LICK MY DICK A WHOLESOME MEME", "NOW STUFF BOTH DICKS IN YOUR MOUTH AND SAY BAZINGA * \u00c3\u00b0\u00c2\u009f\u00c2\u0092\u00c2\u00a5 \u00c3\u00b0\u00c2\u009f\u00c2\u0093\u00c2\u00b7 * \u00c3\u00a2\u00c2\u009c\u00c2\u00a8 \u00c3\u00b0\u00c2\u009f\u00c2\u0092\u00c2\u00a1 \u00c3\u00b0\u00c2\u009f\u00c2\u008c\u00c2\u00a0 * \u00c3\u00b0\u00c2\u009f\u00c2\u0092\u00c2\u00a5 \u00c3\u00a2\u00c2\u009c\u00c2\u00a8 PAF ", "THE PREMISE IS THAT THERE'S A GROUP OF PEOPLE CHANTING \"WHO LIKES DICK\"", "I'LL TAKE THE HOSE AGAIN", "ON THE WHOLE I FIND YOUR BONER COMPLETELY DISRUPTIVE", "THAT'S FUNNY THE WAY YOU COMBINED THE BORG WITH MONTY PYTHON AND CREATED A CROSS-CONCEPT JOKE", "PINK PINK BINK BA-DINK PINK DINK PA-DINK BINK PINK", "FOLKS IT'S 2017 AND WE GOT EVIL ANGELS, ELEGANT ANGELS AND EVASIVE ANGELS (NOT SURE HOW MANY ANGELS WE NEED IN PORN)", "??? SAN / FRAN / CISCO SPIGOT: ??? OPEN YOUR GOLDEN / GURK", "AT MY AGE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!", "ENTER DESIRED USERNAME:", "SHOULD WE HAVE A DICK RATE THREAD", "IF DISNEY = TOILET BOWL AND STAR WARS = TOILET BOWL THEN", "T DEUCE IF YOU SEND ME A PIC OF YOU I CAN PRINT IT OUT AND EJACULATE ON IT AND RETURN A PIC OF THAT", "*THE STORY OF ONE MAN'S INCREDIBLE JOURNEY TO LICK DICK*", "FOLKS THE VIETNAMESE LANGUAGE SOUNDS LIKE A DUCK CHOKING ON A CHICKEN BONE", "WORKING ON MY PASSIVE-AGGRESSIVE SHITHEAD ENGINEER CHARACTER", "ALL I CARE ABOUT THESE DAYS IS MAKING SURE THE JERKCITY LOGO IS STILL IN THE SILICON VALLEY OPENING CREDITS", "BILL NYE DON'T GOTTA CUSS IN HIS RAPS TO SELL RECORDS", "1A 7:20 - STILL NOBODY HAS ACKNOWLEDGED YOUR REPEATED, URGENT, OVERMODULATED *BALLS* AND WITH THE COSBY SHOW IN THE BACKGROUND YOU UNKEY WITH A HARD, FLAT \"FUCK THESE PEOPLE\"", "GOTTA WORK YOUR TRIS, YOUR DELTS, YOUR PLAPS", "WHO YA TALKIN' TO SPIGOT", "I NEED TO REMIND MYSELF THE INTERNET IS FOR KIDS AGE 12-18, NOTHING IS MARKETED, CREATED OR AIMED AT ME PERSONALLY AND EVERY PIECE OF CANDY WILL BE A COMPLETE DISAPPOINTMENT", "FOLKS I DO NOT SELF-IDENTIFY WITH FRISBEE ***OR*** GOLF", "THE KILOWATT 6 BRAVO STATION MAKING FART SOUNDS, PLEASE STOP", "MORE WINE FOR ME I GUESS", "HEY EVERYONE LOOK OVER HERE I'M DOING MAGIC TRICKS", "AN AMAZON *********ORIGINAL*********", "T PANTS DO YOU TAKE PULL REQUESTS", "EVERY BUILDING SHOULD HAVE A TOILET I CAN FLUSH MYSELF DOWN TO PORTAL ELSEWHERE", "TURNS OUT I HAVE NOTHING TO SAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!", "IS THAT SO???? WELL HERE'S WHAT I HAVE TO SAY ABOUT THAT!!!!!! 10-12 MINUTES FLIPPING AROUND ATTEMPTING TO GET MY REAR-END TOPMOST", "GOD SAID IT / I SUCKED ON IT / THAT SETTLES IT", "CHRIST JESUS", "T PANTS WILL YOU DO ME A SIMPLE KINDNESS AND MAKE A LIFELONG VIRGINITY PLEDGE TO JESUS AND BECOME A BRIDE OF CHRIST", "EVERYONE AT MISSION FARMERS MARKET LOOKS LIKE A PRUNE OR A CORN COB", "FOLKS THIS ONE-MAN SHOW SPONSORED IN PART BY LOOTCRATE AND TRUNKCLUB AND SHITHEAD AND SHINEBOX", "A CHORUS LINE OF PISSING DICKS", "EVEN AN AUTISTIC CLOCK IS RIGHT TWICE A DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA BONK DONK DONK DONK DONK DONK DONK DONK DONK DONK", "BIENVENIDOS A MACINTOOSHEN", "FOLKS WE NEED TO SELL QUADRAS AND PERFORMAS AT SEARS NEXT TO THE WASHERS/DRYERS", "I ONLY HAVE LIKE TWO THOUGHTS", "T PANTS ASKING FOR THE LAST TIME SINCE YOU SEEM UNWILLING TO RESPOND: *DO YOU THINK BAILEY JAY HAS GAINED WEIGHT*", "I DID A POO IN THE PRINTER", "T E X T O P O L I S", "ARE WE MAYBE STRAYING A BIT FROM GOD'S LIGHT", "BATTERIES A SOMETIMES FOOD", "FOLKS DID YOU HAVE ANY IDEA THAT SODA IS ESSENTIALLY PURE SUGAR AND LEADS TO CHILDHOOD OBESITY AND DIABETES AND DEPRESSION AND DICKLICKING ON THE MICHAEL'S CRAFTS CRAFTING CRUISE", "SURELY THE BEST USE OF MY TIME WILL SOMEDAY BE MADE CLEAR", "T PANTS IS WEDNESDAY INTERCONTINENTAL HOUSE OF PROSTITUTES DAY", "T PANTS GUESS WHO COULDN'T POSSIBLY GIVE TWO SHITS THAT \"HIS WEBSITES\" ARE DOWN AND HAS TWO THUMBS AND IS ALSO THIS GUY", "FOLKS YOU CAN'T JUST LICK DICK IN THE MORNING, YOU NEED A BALANCED BREAKFAST", "SPIGOT LEFT", "T PANTS WILL YOU PROMISE ME YOU'LL WATCH TWIN PEAKS AT LEAST THROUGH EP 8", "FOLKS I THINK WE KNOW WHAT PUERTO RICO NEEDS RIGHT NOW, AND THAT IS THE AMATEUR RADIO COMMUNITY", "I STILL REMEMBER EXACTLY WHERE I WAS WHEN I FIRST LEARNED BELLADONNA'S ASS WAS HAUNTED", "JUST SO I UNDERSTAND WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT: IS WORF A TRIPHTHONG", "IT'S JAMES FRANCO AND JAMES FRANCO", "WHY DOES THAT ROBOT KEEP SAYING I'M A REAL PERSON, CUT IT OUT, ETC", "I NEED MORE TO GO ON THAN JUST YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH", "DESTINATION: DONGS", "FOLKS YOUR LICKING DICK NAME IS YOUR FIRST NAME PLUS YOUR LAST NAME", "MEANWHILE I REACH FOR THE HALF AND HALF AT STARBUCKS AND (SURPRISE) IT'S EMPTY", "BIG / FUCKIN' / DICKS / IN / YOUR STUPID / FUCKIN' / FACE / NOW", "YOU CAN LICK MY DICK OR STAY LATE TONIGHT", "T DEUCE REVENGE IS A DISH BEST SERVED UP IN ONLINE WEBZINE FORMAT", "OH, YOU WERE MOLESTED?? YOU MUST BE VERY BEAUTIFUL AND INTERESTING", ":LOL: CHURCH SHOOTINGS", "PEOPLE NEED TO UNDERSTAND THAT COMEDY FREQUENTLY COMES FROM A PLACE OF DEEP AND PROFOUND PAIN RIGHT HERE IN MY DONG AREA", "FOLKS WE NEED A SHORT FAT CAMEL TYPE DEAL WITH RINKY-DINK CHOPSTICK LEGS AND ABSOLUTELY NOTHING GOING ON INSIDE \u00c3\u00b0\u00c2\u009f\u00c2\u0093\u00c2\u00af", "\u00c3\u00b0\u00c2\u009f\u00c2\u0093\u00c2\u00af\u00c3\u00b0\u00c2\u009f\u00c2\u0093\u00c2\u00af\u00c3\u00b0\u00c2\u009f\u00c2\u0093\u00c2\u00af\u00c3\u00b0\u00c2\u009f\u00c2\u0093\u00c2\u00af", "E EQUALS M C SQUIRTS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ABLGK \u00c3\u00b0\u00c2\u009f\u00c2\u0092\u00c2\u00a6 BLGTH", "T DEUCE DO YOU EVER REFLECT ON HOW WE PASSIVELY PARTICIPATE IN A CULTURE WHICH ALLOWS SEXUAL HARRASSMENT TO CONTINUE", "I'M GOING TO HOPE SHE DOESN'T TAKE MY MAN JUST BECAUSE SHE CAN", "WHILE YOU WERE OUT LICKING DICK, I WAS STUDYING THE BLADE AND LICKING DICK", "SOMEONE SHOULD TELL STEPHEN HAWKING HIS VOICE IS LIKE FARTS IN A COFFEE CAN", "DID I MENTION I LICK DICK", "SHOULD WE GO AROUND THE ROOM OPENING UP ABOUT OUR PAST EXPERIENCES WITH ABUSE?????", "IMAGINE YOU CAN PUT ONLY ONE DICK OR THE OTHER DICK OR BOTH DICKS IN YOUR MOUTH - OR HOWEVER MANY DICKS THERE ARE", "THINKING MAYBE HOUSE OF CARDS WITH NO ROBIN WRIGHT BUT KEVIN SPACEY IN A DRESS AND ALSO TEN JAMES FRANCOS", "WISHING EVERYONE A MERRY VLOGMAS", "DID WE BOTH AGREE TO SOMETHING STUPID AGAIN", "T PANTS IF YOU GET YOUR HAM RADIO LICENSE YOU CAN ASK HOW'S MY SIGNAL STRENGTH AND THEN DO FARTS IN THE BED", "THE QUICKTIME LOGO IS LITERALLY A DICK POKING THROUGH A HOLE AT YOU", "T PANTS YOU TOLD ME YOU BOUGHT ONE-BUNS BUT THEY'RE ACTUALLY OROWHEAT SANDWICH THINS", "T PANTS WILL YOU BE SHARING YOUR PHOTOS OF THE WOMEN'S MARCH (LONG LONG LONG STREAM OF UPSKIRTS)", "I THINK IF ***JACK NICHOLSON***", "T PANTS IF YOU EVER SPILL A LITTLE COFFEE ON YOUR ROBERT GRAHAM, JUST GO HOME FOR THE DAY", "THEN THEY SAT ME DOWN AND TOGETHER WE ALL WATCHED THE VIDEOTAPE OF ME STEALING THE CANDY", "STUFFING", "FRESHLY BAKED DONGS!!!!!!!", "THAT'S NOT A WISHBONE BUT DON'T STOP PULLING", "I'LL MAKE A NOTE OF THAT SAID THE PISSING DETECTIVE WHO UNZIPPED HIS PANTS AND ACTUALLY PISSED A NOTATION INTO THE SAND WITH A SPECIAL PISSY CHEMICAL THAT NEVER DRIED OUT", "USE WASD TO PUT THE FRIES IN SPIGOT'S MOUTH", "ARE RUSSIAN BOTS PROSTITUTES BECAUSE I SEE NO PROBLEM HERE OR THERE", "GAY AND TRANS PORGS", "I'M WITH STUPID", "FIRST OF ALL", "CUT OFF MY DONG AND STUFF IT IN MY MOUTH, THEN CHOP OFF MY HEAD AND STUFF THAT IN MY REAR END SO VIA THE TRANSITIVE PROPERTY I CAN FUCK MYSELF IN THE ASS", "CHECK OUT THIS GROCERY BASKET (CAN'T UNDO BELT) NVM", "T DICK HEART", "I DROPPED MY PHONE IN THE LOBSTER TANK AT SAFEWAY", "NNNGGGG THE DEW POINT", "CONCERNED THE PANTS ICON FEELS A LITTLE WISPY", "UNSUBSCRIBE", "OKAY, HOME TO CUT MY DICK OFF", ". . . . . AND . . . . . . ", "PAY US FOR PRODUCT PLACEMENT AND WE'LL TALK (UNKINDLY) ABOUT YOUR PRODUCT", "JUST TIRED OF WEBCOMICS THAT AREN'T US", "KCBS BEATOFF TIME IS 10:34", "QUICK QUESTION: HOW FAR WOULD YOU GO TO PROTECT YOUR FAMILY", "I DON'T LIKE READING ABOUT GAY PEOPLE RIGHT BEFORE BEDTIME", "I WANT EVERYONE THE FUCK OUT OF MY KITCHEN AND CLOSE THE DOOR ON YOUR WAY OUT", "HOW TO SPOT A DEEP FAKE!!!!!", "DONE TALKIN' FOR NOW (BOOZE KICKING IN)", "BRILLIANT", "CAUTION: ANTI-PATTERNS AHEAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!", "TICKLE MY BALLS WITH A PALM FRONDS AND TELL ME IT'S THE FORCE", "I SURELY WISH IT DIDN'T TAKE ME THAT LONG TO GET MY REAR-END TOPMOST", "T PANTS NOW LISTEN TO ME (LONG DAVID LYNCH / GORDON COLE PAUSE)", "HANDS UP WHO'S OVER HIS HEAD", "WANT YOU TO KNOW I TAKE PEACOCK WEEK VERY SERIOUSLY AND VERY RESPECTFULLY", "ART IS FOR FAGS", "\"SOAKED\" \"DRENCHED\" \"SHOWERED\"", "I HAVE TO DO A BUNCH OF PERFORMANCE REVIEW BULLET POINT ACHIEVEMENT TYPE SHIT", "ASSAULT WITH INTENT TO RAPE, OUTERCOURSE", "I DONT WANT MY NEIGHBORHOOD GENTRIFIED", "I LITERALLY CANNOT BELIEVE LOUIS CK LEFT HIS HOUSE", "AFTER HE SPLORKS ON YOUR FACE LET'S CUT TO THE DOG COVERING HIS EYES WITH HIS PAWS", "SNOOT BOOPS BUT WITH A DONG", "I KEEP MEANING TO POUR OUT A SOLID MEMORIAL TO HENRY FROM 435 BUT I ALSO KEEP DRINKING IT", "IT WOULD BE FUNNY IF I LICKED DICK AS A JOKE (LIKE TO LICK A DICK AND THEN GO LOL)", "IF SHE HAS TIME TO LEAN, I'M THINKING SHE HAS (AT LEAST SOME) TIME TO CLEAN", "T DEUCE WOULD A \"FAG\" DO THIS: (SUCKS TEN THOUSAND DICKS, GETS AIDS)", "T DEUCE ARE YOU GOING TO THE OAKLAND HAM CRAM", "HONK HONK HONK HONK HONK HONK HONK HONK HONK HONK HONK HONK HONK HONK HONK HONK HONK", "A STAGGERING NUMBER OF TROOPS ARE FAT AND TIRED, REPORT SAYS", "I'M A BEARDED 20-SOMETHING REMINDING FOLKS THERE'S MORE TO COMICS THAN SUPERHEROES", ":NOTES: YA LICK SIXTEEN DICKS / AND WHADDYA GET", "GHOULS, GOBLINS, MILLENIALS", "HOW CAN I MANAGE THE NET WHEN I'M SCRAMBLING AROUND TRYING TO MANAGE ALL THESE DICKS", "XXXX BLOW A LOAD ON MY FACE HOOMAN", "WE KNEW ABOUT BLACK DONGS AND Z-SHAPED DONGS", "DICK PICS ARE LIKE BOOB PICS BUT FOR ****HER***", "PUNCH ME IN THE SACK", "THE SCOPE AND BREADTH OF THE INVESTIGATION", "OKAY HITTING STOP AND THEN REWINDING A FEW MILLISECONDS PURELY BY FEEL AND THEN A BIG KER-CHONK WITH BOTH PLAY AND THE ORANGE RECORD", "WHAT WE'VE LEARNED IS THAT IT'S TOTALLY FINE TO DRINK ALL DAY AS LONG AS YOU TAKE A NAP IN THE LATE AFTERNOON / EARLY EVENING", "I'M THINKING TEN DICKS ACROSS ROUGHLY 8 HOURS IS NOT A RATIO TO WRITE HOME ABOUT", "APPEARS IN A POOFY CLOUD OF GAY FATNESS", "LICKING DICK ON MY OWN TERMS!!!!! AND AT ORCHARD SUPPLY", "DID I MENTION I HAVE CHOPSTICKS FOR LEGS", "REALLY NOT SURE I'VE EVER ENCOUNTERED A CHILD OR A BABY WHO DOESN'T BELONG IN A CAGE", "> BE ME", "THE BETTER THE TIP I LEAVE, THE GAYER MYSELF ***AND*** MY PARTY ?????", "IS ANYONE HERE HOT FOR TEACHER?!?!?!? JUST MOI?!?!?!", "WHY DO YOU ALWAYS DOPE MY STONISH MOCKERY", "WHEN OZONE HANDS ME THE PIPE. HAS THE BOWL BEEN 'CACHED' OR 'CASHED'", "FOLKS I DON'T WANT TO GET OFF ON A RANT HERE . . . . . . . . . . . .", "HOW FAR WILL THIS DESPERATE FATHER GO TO PROTECT HIS FAMILY", "DOES HE LITERALLY HAVE NO IDEA HE'S PUTTING HIS PENIS IN HER BOTTOM", "IF I'M NOT LICKING DICK I'M NAPPING BETWEEN DICKS", "YOU'RE JUST MAD THE NEW DR WHO IS A TRAP", "DECAPITATING NEW HORIZON", "MY PAJAMAS TOPS HAVE A VEST POCKET I CAN STUFF PENCILS IN AND MY PAJAMA BOTTOMS HAVE A REAR FLAP FOR THE ***EXACT SAME REASON****", "CHOKE DOWN THIS ABSOLUTE UNIT", "WHAT PART OF WANK IT **NOW** DO YOU JUST NOT UNDERSTAND", "SPIDER-MAN AND HIS SPIDER-PURSE", "IF PUSH CAME TO SHOVE I WOULD SAY LICK MY DICK", "QUICK REMINDER THAT SILENCE=DEATH", "HOLY SHIT I CAN JUST SAY HEY GOOGLE PLAY BONEQUEST HIFI PODCAST AND IT STARTS WITH #494", "FIRST I'LL FLOUNCE MY WRISTS UP AND DOWN ABOVE MY HEAD TO \"CLAP BACK\" LIKE A TIRED OLD QUEEN", "SPACE FARTS", "PEPPERIDGE FARM MINT MILLENNIALS", "I AM ABSOLUTELY USING SQUIBS UNDER MY SHIRT FOR MY NEXT ALL HANDS", "CRITICS ARE CALLING THESE BONGHITS DELICIOUS, DELIGHTFUL", "MORE OF A PASSIVE SHOOTER", "AND YOU CALL THEM LICKED DICKS DESPITE THE FACT THAT THEY ARE OBVIOUSLY GRILLED", "ONE FOR THE MONEY", "LET US KNOW ABOUT THE DONGS IN YOUR MOUTH", "YOU SHOULD BE REGISTERING JOYFUL NOISES UNTO THE LORD", "T LADY ARE YOU SAYING I SHOULD ROLL SNAKE EYES", "THERE HAS GOT TO BE A WAY I CAN SEND DICK PICS TO MY LARGE-SCREEN GOOGLE HOME HUB IN THE KITCHEN WHILE THE BOOK CLUB IS OVER", "AM I THE ONLY GODDAMN LIAR IN AMERICA STILL LYING", "EVERY TIME THE CAMERA PANS ACROSS A THERANOS ALL-HANDS, ALL I SEE ARE DOPEY, PUDGY BUTTERFACES IN EVERY DISCIPLINE BUT NONE DOPIER OR PUDGIER THAN EHOLMES HERSELF *SEND*", "SUCK A DICK", "YOU'VE BLOWN 2 TROLLS OF YOUR MONTHLY LIMIT (4). UPGRADE YOUR SUBSCRIPTION TODAY", "FAP OR TRAP", "YES PLEASE MORE ORIGAMI FURNITURE THAT MAGICALLY UNFOLDS INTO SHARP WOODEN SHAPES THAT PINCH MY DICK OFF", "GOING TO THE BATHROOM ON CHILDREN WILL MAKE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN", "THE TWO RULES OF DESIGN:", "WHAT'S UP SEATTLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! BEER BOTTLE", "NOBODY CARED WHO I WAS UNTIL I PULLED OUT MY DONG", "ALL THESE LOFTS GOING UP", "I DON'T BLANK PANELS UNLESS THEY ADD WEIGHT BETWEEN LINES AND I DON'T LIKE SPOILERS IN THE TITLE", "WOULD YOU CLOSE YOUR ROBE", "GIRLS WHO CODE", "WHY THE FUCK AM I CLIMBING ON A CHAIR TO PUT MY SMOKE ALARM UP THERE, IT'S FINE DOING ITS WORK ON THE TABLE", "WHO'S EXCITED FOR THE REBOOT OF MY DICK IN THEIR MOUTH", "BRACHS JELLY NOUGATS", "THE PANTS AND MELINDA GATES FOUNDATION", "IF A DOG DIES, DOES IT GO TO HEAVEN", "DO THEY MAKE GUINNESS CANS THAT DON'T SPLORK OUT INTO MY FACE DESK AND LAP EVERY GODDAMN TIME", "DID YOU KNOW INDONESIA IS AT A CROSSROADS", "TFW YOU SUCK DICK AND DIE", "IF A MOVIE OR TV SHOW HAS MORE THAN 3 SECONDS OF A BABY CRYING, THE WHOLE FOLDER GOES IN THE TRASH", "I LOVE TO DOWNLOAD AND EAT CORN DOGS", "30 MINS INTO APOLLO 11 AND THEY'RE ALL DOING HEROIN ON THE MOON AND EVERYONE'S TIE-OFF TUBE IS WAVING AROUND IN ZERO G", "*DIARRHEA*", "A MOMENT OF SILENCE FOR THE HEAT DEATH OF THE VISIBLE UNIVERSE", "WHEN THEY RE-RELEASED THE SOPRANOS THE ENGINEERS HAD TO MAGNIFY, REFRAME, CHOP AND CROP THE OLD TIMEY 4:3 ASPECT RATIO INTO THE CONTEMPORARY 16:9 BUT SOMEHOW MEADOW'S TITS WERE ALWAYS PERFECTLY CENTERED THE ENTIRE TIME ?????", "ATE A BURRITO, THEN A SECOND BURRITO", "EVERY TIME MATTHEW MCCONAUGHEY SHOUTS MURPH HE SHOULD FOLLOW IT UP WITH HURF AND BURF", "ONCE AND FOR ALL: DOES TIM CONWAY'S DEATH SERIOUSLY MEAN NO MORE DORF", "SO FUCKING BORED OF MY GAY LIFE", "I HAVE COSMIC BACKGROUND RADIATION POISONING IN THAT I AM ALIVE FOR NO GREAT REASON", "CARL SAGAN JUST TOLD ME I'M MADE UP OF FAGSTUFF AND NOT STARSTUFF AND THEN HE YOINKED MY RED MERVYNS TURTLENECK UP OVER MY FACE AND HEAD", "I'VE HAD ENOUGH BEERS TO KNOW I DON'T WANT TO GO TO SCHOOL TOMORROW, I WANT TO STAY ON CARL SAGAN'S SHIP OF THE IMAGINATION AND LISTEN TO VANGELIS", "IN EPISODE 2 OF COSMOS, DR. SAGAN DESCRIBES HOW THE DESTRUCTION OF AN ANCIENT JAPANESE SOCIETY LED TO LADIES OF THE IMPERIAL COURT REDUCED TO SELLING FLOWERS . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .", "MY PANTS FELL DOWN, HE EXCLAIMED TO THREE COLLEAGUES WHOSE PANTS HAD BEEN DOWN SINCE SUNDAY EVENING", "WHERE'S THE OFFICIAL BQ APP THAT TAKES YOUR PHOTO AND DRAWS FAG ACROSS THE BOTTOM WITH AN UP ARROW", "WHY DO I BRING MY A GAME TO THIS MOO/MUD", "T DEUCE MAY I SPEAK WITH YOU", "MAY I BE HONEST WITH YOU", "I WOULD GET A MEDIUM-TO-LARGE PLUSH MINION, STUFF IT DOWN THE TOILET, THEN TAKE A DAY OFF WORK WHILE AN EXPENSIVE PLUMBER DESCRIBES THE PROBLEM", "OKAY I THINK IT'S TIME FOR SOME BEERS AND THEN BACK TO BED WHO'S WITH ME", "WHAT IF WE BOTH TAKE A SHIT IN A COUPLE OF HOT DOG BUNS AND YOU LEAVE THEM UNGUARDED IN THE DOGBERT CONFERENCE ROOM", "H", "I DREW A DICK ON A GUY'S FACE AIMED AT HIS MOUTH", "LOL AT SPELLING", "A BUNK BED FOR $1200/MONTH ??????????? OKAY BUT ONLY BECAUSE I DON'T KNOW ANGULAR.JS", "I'M A FLUSHABLE APPLICATOR", "DO YOU KNOW WHAT I WOULD DO WITH TEN JUMBO CORN DOGS RIGHT NOW", "ON DAY ZERO OF NOFAP EVERYBODY", "TRUCKS AND DETOURS AND JACKHAMMERING AT 3AM WHILE INSTALLING MY STAR ON THE BONEQUEST WALK OF FAME", "I WENT TO THE BOTTOM OF THE GRAND CANYON", "IF YOU'RE BLUE", "HOW MUCH FOR THE T-SHIRT WITH THE MINION MAKING THE DREAMWORKS FACE AND THE WORD SCIENCE!!!!!! UNDER IT", "BBBBBBBBB SHITTING A B JUST AS HARD AS SHITTING A P", "FOLKS YOU'RE CORDIALLY INVITED TO A NIGHT OF BLACK MOLD AND ASBESTOS AND DEHYDRATION AND SUFFOCATION", "CAN I DO SQUIRTS IN THE SQUAT RACK", "I REALLY REALLY REALLY", "IF YOU SHOW AN UNLICKED DICK IN ACT ONE IT BETTER NOT BE LICKED BY ACT THREE BECAUSE IT'S SUNDAY AND THE BUS ONLY RUNS ONCE AN HOUR SO I WON'T BE THERE UNTIL ACT FOUR THIRTY", "IT'S NOT EASY / LICKING DICK", "BASH MY FACE / WITH A DOG FOOD CAN", "DO YOU SERIOUSLY NOT SELL FLESHLIGHTS LONGER THAN A FISH TUBE", "HANDS UP WHO CAN PUNCH ME IN THE FACE AND SHOE ME IN THE SACK", "LITERALLY ALL THE CHARACTERS IN STAR WARS ARE GAY", "WHO'S BEEN BEATING OFF ON THE MOON", "***SOB*** WHY CAN'T SOMEONE DAB ON THEM HATERS?????", "IF YOU CAN'T HANDLE ME AT MY WORST YOU CAN'T FONDLE ME ON MY NUTS", "JEAN-CHARLES YOU HAVE FALLEN BACKWARDS INTO THE ARTWORK", "THIS IS THE ZODIAC SPEAKING", "SUCK IT", "TO PROTECT AND TO SQUIRT", "HEY SPACE: MAKE SOMETHING THAT DOESN'T LOOK LIKE DOG SHIT", "LET'S ALL PUT OUR BALLS TOGETHER FOR SPIGOT", "FUGGEDDABOBTBUUBOUGGBTPPTPBPITIIT", "HERE WE GO / HERE WE GO / HERE WE GO / AGAIN", "INSTEAD OF BASHING GAYS ALL THE TIME YOU COULD TRY A LITTLE TENDERNESS", "K O Y A A N I S Q U I R T S I", "IT'S CALLED WEWANK AND IT'S A BUNCH OF CUBES", "LADIES AND GENTLEMEN I'M NOT AFTER YOUR MONEY, YOUR MONEY IS PROTECTE", "YOU DON'T SQUEEZE MY NUTS DURING BLOWJOBS ANYMORE", "YOU'RE ONLY ALLOWED TO CALL IT SUCKING COCK IF IT'S HAPPENING IN THE COCKSUCKING REGION OF FRANCE", "I ONLY SUCKED ONE DICK TODAY BUT I'M PUTTING DOWN TEN", "BEEP BOOP BUTTPLUG DELIVERY", "IF JUST ONE PERSON HEARS THIS AND LICKS A DICK IT WILL ALL BE WORTH IT", "DO YOU THINK JAKE STEED AND BYRON LONG ARE FRIENDS IN REAL LIFE", "TWO WORDS:", "FILL OUT THIS FORM IF YOU HAVE ANY DIETARY RESTRICTIONS!!!!! GLUTEN / VEGAN", "DID XKCD EVER FIGURE OUT THE COSINE OF THE {{{HEART}}} OR DID HE GET AIDS FROM A MILLION BLEEDING AIDS DICKS", "MORE LIKE FEYNMAN DIARRHEA GRAMS", "IS THERE ANY PUDDING", "WAITER THERE'S A CONDOM IN MY DIARRHEA", "HOPE SOMEDAY I CAN FUCK A REAL FLASHLIGHT", "MY FOOT IS ON FIRE BUT EVERYONE THINKS IT'S LEAVES", "ARE YOU SURE I CAN'T DUNK MY DONG IN GLITTER AND DEEP FRY IT IN BEER BATTER", "WHAT DO YOU CALL A GAY PARKING LOT??", "WE'RE LIKE ALVIN SIMON AND THEODORE STORING NUTS IN OUR CHEEKS FOR THE WINTER", "PLUH PTHTH PUH URINE", "AREA MAN LIKES DICK", "COME ON YOU GUYS IT'S NEWS", "WELL I GOT A BIG ERECTION / I'M HERE TO SAY", "YOU KNOW WHO'D MAKE A GREAT JOKER: CHESTER CHEETAH", "WHEN CJ CREGG DID THE JACKAL SHE DIMINISHED THE OFFICE OF THE PRESIDENCY, AND THERE IS SIMPLY NOTHING MORE TO BE SAID ABOUT IT", "WE REALLY WANT TO DO SOMETHING SO WE AREN'T JUST THE GIRLS WHO LOUIS C.K. MASTURBATED IN FRONT OF", "SATURDAY!!!!!!!!!", "HOW WOULD THAT EVEN BE POSSIBLE ?!?!?!?!?!?!?! I CALL ****BULLSHIT****", "I DON'T DRINK COFFEE IN THE MORNING CAUSE I DON'T WANT TO BE UP ALL DAY", "OFFICIALLY HALFWAY DOWN TO MY GOAL WEIGHT OF TEN THOUSAND POUNDS", "WELPS TIME TO ONCE AGAIN TURN OFF THE LIGHTS AND GET COMFY IN BED AND CLOSE MY EYES AND LET POLICE INTERROGATIONS ON YOUTUBE LULL ME TO SLEEP", "COME FOR THE BONE, STAY FOR THE QUEST", "FOLKS I'M LICKING DICK AT PARTICIPATING LOCATIONS WHILE SUPPLIES LAST", "TURNS OUT THERE ARE WORDS YOU CAN'T SAY ANYMORE", "SIX MONTHS AGO MY DOCTOR INFORMED ME MY ASS IS HAUNTED", "HOW ABOUT DARTH VADER USES BABY YODA AS A FLESHLIGHT ON A PLANET MADE OF DOG SHIT", "FUCKIN' FUCK YES", "YEAH I'M SOBER", "SHIP MANIFEST REVEALS 200 DONGS ON BOARD", "TOON IN EACH MONDAY!!!!!!!!!!!", "IS ANYTHING OPEN ON CHRISTMAS BESIDES MY MOUTH????????", "HOT DIGGITY DONGS", "PISS BOAT", "OKAY TIME FOR PONG", "IF YOU'RE GOING TO SUCK DICK ALL DAY DON'T FILL UP ON BREAD", "IF I COULD DO IT ALL OVER AGAIN", "YOU JUST DON'T GET IT, DO YOU? I VAPE.", "CIGAR SHAPED UFO", "WITH MY DONG AND YOUR BONG WE'D BE INVINCIBLE", "A DICK IN EACH HAND, A COCK IN MY MOUTH AND A BIG DUMB DONG STUFFED UP MY REAR END", "THIS GENDER REVEAL IS JUST YOU DOING POOS ON MY FACE", "ROD & GUN CLUB", "HACKING THE MAINFRAME SO SOCKINGTON CAN FINALLY SAY THE N WORD", "PREMATURE EJACULATION ENCOURAGEMENT", "SPLISH SPLASH / I WAS SUCKING A DICK", "..............+++++++++++++++", "WHEN PEOPLE ARE AT A PARTY DRINKING WINE IN A BOX I TAKE IT OUT OF THE BOX SO THEY HAVE TO REFILL THEIR GLASSES BY SQUEEZING A PLASTIC BAG OF HOSPITAL URINE", "IF I HAD TWO POPES I'D PROBABLY LEAVE ONE AT WORK JUST TO HAVE IT THERE", "PAST A CERTAIN AGE A MAN WITHOUT A DONG IN HIS MOUTH CAN BE A BAD THING", "HEY GOOGLE: WEB COMICS", "APPLE WALNUT LOAF ??? THANK YOU SO MUCH !!!!", "I'LL BET AT CHEVRON Q*BERT PUMPS GAS WITH HIS MOUTH AND THEN PULLS OUT AND SPRAYS GAS ALL OVER THE CAR", "SCHRODINGER'S CAM", "TIME TO ***SCIENCE*** THE SHIT OUTTA THIS!!!!!!!!", "DATELINE HOLLYWOOD: I'M IN TALKS TO LICK DICK", "HOW ABOUT 21 PUMP STREET WHERE I GIVE YOU 21 PUMPS AND YOU'RE BACK ON THE STREET", "MARRIAGE IS BETWEEN A DONG AND A BONG", "SUCKING TEN DICKS BUT ALSO THINKING THIS COULD HAVE BEEN AN EMAIL", "A DONG IN MY MOUTH", "PLEASE STOP ASKING WHICH FOLDER CONTAINS BLACKED WAIFUS", "A LOVE LETTER TO DICKLICKING", "THE JERKOFF INSTRUCTIONS YOU SHARED WERE SUPER HELPFUL, THANK YOU", "INSTEAD OF ROBOTS THERE SHOULD BE BLOWBOTS", "EVERY 73 SECONDS ANOTHER AMERICAN IS SEXUALLY ASSAULTED.", "HORSEPLAY", "WHEN THEY WEAR CONDOMS IT TAKES ME RIGHT OUT OF THE STORY", "POKING A CORN DOG THROUGH THE HOLE AND PULLING OUT JUST THE STICK", "ON WHICH NEIGHBORHOOD PROPERTIES ARE THE PROSTITUTES BURIED", "SHITTING OUT THE PILLARS OF CREATION", "HANDS UP WHO'S A DUMB DONG WHO TAKES FREQUENT NAPS", "I ASK THAT YOU KINDLY ADDRESS MY NEURODIVERSITY", "YES, GOOD HELLO I WOULD LIKE TO REPORT A CORONAVIRUS SYMPTOM", "DO YOU CARE IF I HOOK UP MY CPAP TO THE BLUE SHOCK MOUNTAIN DEW SLURPEE MACHINE", "TIME TO DRINK COFFEE AND EAT CANDY AND WATCH MOVIES ALL DAY", "SO THAT SONG YOU WROTE ABOUT E.T.", "!PANKAJA", "FOLKS COVID-19 CAN LAY DORMANT IN YOUR REAR END FOR UP TO TEN INCHES", "IF I CAN'T TOUCH MY FACE CAN I TOUCH YOUR BOOBS", "WHAT'S THIS ABOUT A CONTROL GROPE", "I THINK WIFI IS SLOW TODAY CAUSE OF ALL THE TOILET PAPER AND WET WIPES", "I'M NOT A NERD WHO WASHES HIS HANDS", "TODAY'S MURDER TRIALS ARE ALL ABOUT BORING CELL PHONE TOWERS", "ENOUGH CORONAVIRUS CHATTER, LET'S TALK OLYMPICS !!!", "CAN'T WAIT FOR CORONA TO BE OVER SO I CAN TAKE THESE CONDOMS OFF", "WAIT STOP", "IF LICKING DICK IS WRONG I'LL JUST STOP DOING IT, NOT A BIG DEAL", "WORKIN' ON MY BRAND", "PUTTING MY DONG IN A SCONE", "WHEN YOU SAY \"DM ME\" AM I SUPPOSED TO DIRTPIPE MILKSHAKE YOU", "HAVE NOT HEARD ONE SINGLE HEALTH CARE WORKER SAY THANK YOU", "HOW MANY CORN BUGLES DO YOU THINK I CAN WEAR ON MY PENIS", "HONK", "WE'RE HERE", "HERE'S A PLATE OF FUCKING FIGS WE CAN ALL SHARE", "I DON\u2019T LIKE IT, I DON\u2019T APPRECIATE IT AND I DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY EVERY NOW AND THEN WHILE BROWSING AROUND PORN SITES I ENCOUNTER THE PHRASE \u201cMAKING LOVE\"", "I KNOW YOU'RE NOT THE BIGGEST FAN OF ANAL SEX", "HURRRRRRR SAFE AT HOME", "GOD WILL GUIDE", "YOU DON'T HAVE TO YELL ********** WORLDSTAR ********** JUST CAUSE I'M LICKING A DICK", "SIGH", "SEE: ONE PIZZA IS FOR ME, THE OTHER PIZZA IS ALSO FOR ME", "H H H H H HOTDOGS ???? HOT DOGS", "CARPE SUCK IT", "THE FUCK IS A PRONOUN", "PERMISSION TODAFQBOSIDPEIYF", "? **BRAN** FRAN / CISCO", "BOYS", "TAKE A QUICK PIC OF ME IN FRONT OF THIS WALL PAINTED EXACTLY THE COLOR OF A CORN DOG", "A TIRESOME WALK-ON FROM RACQUEL DARIAN ALL BUT CONFIRMS THIS FEATURE SHOULD BE TITLED CURSE . . . OF THE FAT WOMAN", "I MISS ACTUALLYHANGING OUT WITH****PEOPLE**** SAID ONLY FAGS", "WILL U ACCEPTTHIS ROSE", "FATHER OF SLAINSIX YEAR OLD SPEAKS OUT", "WHY DOES EVERYTHING IN THIS HOUSE SMELL LIKE COCAINE", "I'M A VAMPIRE", "FOLKS: WHEN I SAY I NEED TO \"PASS\" ON A MEETING, IT'S NOT AN INVITATION TO RESCHEDULE THE MEETING", "WHY IS EVERYONE TRYING TO BE BANE", "THE FIVE DOLLAR FROG ATE THE THIRTY DOLLAR FROG", "! !! ! ! JEAN-CHARLES ! ! !! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ", "THPIGOT IS TYPING (FLAPPING, FLOPPY HANDS OVER IMAGINARY PIANO)", "INSTEAD OF LAUGHING AT :POINT-RIGHT: ME :POINT-LEFT: FOR GETTING FAT DURING QUARANTINE", "ARE WE REALLY STILL MAKING KEYBOARDS WHERE ONE KEY IS SPECIFICALLY FOR SHUTTING DOWN BY ACCIDENT", "IF GOD WANTED :POINT_RIGHT: :POINT_RIGHT: MEN :POINT_LEFT: :POINT_LEFT:", "FOLKS WHAT DID ONE LAWYER SAY TO THE OTHER LAYWER", "SORRY WHAT", "I LICK DICK", "T PANTS ASKING FOR THE LAST TIME SINCE YOU SEEM UNWILLING TO RESPOND: *DO YOU THINK BAILEY JAY HAS GAINED WEIGHT*", "NO I WILL NOT \"MAKE OUT\" WITH YOU", "BELLA BELLZ SHOULD JUST CHANGE HER NAME TO COMMAND W", "PROBABLY GET DOWNVOTED TO HELL BUT I LICK DICK", "IS MY TAROT DECK OUT OF DATE CAUSE I CAN'T LOCATE THE QUEEN OF GAPES", "T PANTS GONNA INDULGE THREE OR FOUR MORE BIG FAT SPLUTTERY AND/OR SHOE-SHAPED SHITS, HOW DOES THAT WORK FOR YOU", "LOL POOR PEOPLE", "FINALLY SOME GOOD NEWS: MY WELLS FARGO ONLINE STATEMENT IS AVAILABLE", "GUESS I\u2019M A REAL COWBOY NOW(SPITS IN ZIPLOC PLASTIC BAG,UBERS TO NEAREST SPITTOON)", "CAN WE GET THE JERKOFF INSTRUCTORS TO STOP PANTOMIMING THE BEAT-OFF MOTION", "DUDE", "RABBITS GOING TO THE BATHROOM ON THE BED", "I\u2019VE BEAT OFF TO EVERYTHING, ALL PORN LOOKS LIKE ADS FOR TARGET OR OLD NAVY, I DON\u2019T EVEN SEE IT", "WHY DIDN\u2019T BIG BIRD JUST SHOOT MR. SNUFFLEUPAGUS", "I\u2019M THE QUEEREST QUEER THAT EVER DID QUEER", "SO TIRED OF MOVIES THAT DON\u2019T PASS THE KOBAYASHI MARU TEST", "TERMINAL OPEN!!!!!!!", "CAN I BORROW ANYONE'S PLUMPER PASS", "PATIENTLY WAITING FOR THE AVCLUB TO POST THEIR REVIEW OF TONIGHT'S MILWAUKEE REPEATER CLUB PUBLIC SERVICE NET", "T DEUCE I DRINK SAPPOROOUT OF CANS BECAUSETHE CANS ARE MAGNETICAND CAN STICK RIGHTTO MY TILTED EASEL", "RIDDLE ME THIS, BATMAN !!!!!!!!", "LET HE WHO LICKS DICK LICK THE FIRST DICK", "WE GOTTA FIGURE OUT A WAY TO MAKE COFFEE TASTE MORE LIKE PUMPKINS", "WHEN YOU SAY \u201cTHE CLOUD\u201d DO YOU MEAN BEATING OFF FOR 72 HOURS STRAIGHT BECAUSE OF THE COKE DICK", "WE MEET AGAIN, (((( BATMAN )))", "CAN WE NOMINATE ADRIANA CHECHIK FOR THE FIELDS MEDAL", "A ALWAYS", "MYSTERIOUS SHINY MONOLITH FOUND IN MY GODDAMN UNDERPANTS", "WEARING MY WORK BADGE ON MY PAJAMA BOTTOMS AND SWIPING INTO MY BATHROOM", "PLEASE MOVE SO I CAN TINKLE", "ON WINDOWS TO MAKE CERTAIN SYMBOLS YOU HOLD DOWN ALT AND SUCK TEN DICKS FOR AN HOUR, THEN LET GO OF ALT", "SILENT NUTS", ":EGGPLANT: :EGGPLANT: :EGGPLANT: :EGGPLANT: FIREFOX ADD-ONS :EGGPLANT: :EGGPLANT: :EGGPLANT: :EGGPLANT:", "YOU TALKED ME INTO A BONG / HIT", "THANKS FOR RUINING DESSERT WITH PECANS AND CRANBERRIES", "THE ENGLISHMAN WHO WENT UP A HILL AND PUT A COCK IN HIS MOUTH AND I GUESS PLANS TO STAY UP THERE INDEFINITELY WITHOUT SO MUCH AS A TEXT", "GODDAMMIT WHO KEEPS FLUSHING MY POOS DOWN THE TOILET", "WE'RE HERE", "DOES BOSTON DYNAMICS MAKE LITERALLY NOTHING THAT SUCKS AND FUCKS", "LS -AL", "SAD TO SEE YOU DIDN'T SIGN UP FOR MY SCIENCE OF THREE'S COMPANY CLASS", "WANNA KNOW WHY I LICKED THOSE DICKS", "NEED SOMEONE TO CONFIGURE MY TCP/IP TO THE PPP TO MY ISP TO THE LAN TO THE WAN TO THE LDAP TO THE INTERNET SO I CAN DO BUILDS", "WANNA FEEL OLD:1998 WAS 3 YEARS AGO", "REID FLEMING IS BACK IN MY LIFE AND I FUCKING HATE IT", "BETTER JUST DRAG THIS PORN .MP4 ACROSS THE FULL WIDTH OF MY DESKTOP OVER WORK CHAT TO THE MEDIA PLA OOPS DROPPED IT", "THEY SHOULD MAKE PORN FOR GUYS", "ALICIA POZ", "THEY'RE CALLED TRAPS BECAUSE IF YOU LOAD UP ON DICK YOU DON'T HAVE ROOM FOR DINNER", "PUSHING A PENCIL THROUGH FOLDED PAPER TO DEMONSTRATE HOW I WAS FUCKED IN THE ASS BACKWARDS AND FORWARDS IN TIME BY WAY OF A TEMPORAL POKING MOVEMENT", "WHERES MY `GODDAMN` BQ STRIP", "DREIDEL DREIDEL DREIDEL / IT'S POKING IN MY FACE", "OKAY SO HBO MAX DOCUMENTARIES ARE JUST CLIP ART CONTENT FARMS, GOT IT", "ONE LOAF OF GARLIC BREAD WHILE I WAIT IN LINE, ONE LOAF OF GARLIC BREAD AS I WALK BACK TO THE CAR, ONE OR TWO LOAVES OF GARLIC BREAD ON THE DRIVE HOME \u2014 AND THEN AT NIGHT, IN BED, A SENSIBLE SELECTION OF GARLIC BREADS", "SOMEWHAT SERIOUS SUGGESTION THAT WE GET INTO THE CRYPTO-ART RACKET", "A :POTATO: IN MY :PANTS:", "IS THERE ANYTHING ANYTHING ANYTHING ANYTHING ANYTHING WE CAN DO ABOUT USER FRIENDLY STILL BEING ALIVE", "IF YOU LICK A DICKIN THE WOODS", "CYBERCALIFRAGILISTIC- EXPIALIDOCIOUS !!!!!! TIMECARDS", "THE ***FAT GUY***AND THE ***OTHER ONE***(AT THE MOVIES)", "ON THE COUNT OF THREE EVERYBODY LICK MY DICK", "THE IMMERSIVE VAN GOGH EXHIBIT AT SF MOMA JUST CUTS YOUR PENIS OFF", "DID YOU PUT BONEQUEST ON THE MOON AS A PRANK", "WILL YOU PLEASE GET YOUR PILOT'S LICENSEAND PLOW A PLANE INTO THE NEW APPLE BUILDING", "JUST PUT THE SETUP IN THE TITLE AND THE PUNCHLINE IN THE GREY TEXT IF YOU'RE SO GODDAMN LAZY", ":HOT_DOG: :HOT_DOG: :HOT_DOG: :HOT_DOG: :HOT_DOG: :HOT_DOG: :HOT_DOG: :HOT_DOG: :HOT_DOG: :HOT_DOG: :HOT_DOG: :HOT_DOG:ALL SET TO ENTER THE QUEER TIER:HOT_DOG: :HOT_DOG: :HOT_DOG: :HOT_DOG: :HOT_DOG: :HOT_DOG: :HOT_DOG: :HOT_DOG: :HOT_DOG: :HOT_DOG: :HOT_DOG: :HOT_DOG:", "THE DREADED LATE-NIGHT CYBERSQUIRTS", "YOU MIGHT SAY I'M THE****** BAD BOY ******OF DICKLICKING", "CAN WE THINK OF A BETTER NAME FOR MAN THAN 'HOMO'", "SHOULD WE APOLOGIZE FOR ALL OUR ANTI-ASIAN BQ STRIPS AND RETIRE JEAN-CHARLES", "AM I THE ONLY ONE CAPABLE OF DRINKING 12 CANS OF GUINNESS BEFORE NOON WHERE'S MY GODDAMN PARADE DOWN QUEER STREET", "T PANTS DEUCE IS HERE WITH A BIG SAUSAGE PIZZA", "OPENING THE MORNING PAPER EVERY DAY TO SEE IF I'VE BEEN CANCELLED OR #METOO'D", "I'M A KQED KID", "GOTTA BACK IN WITH A 3-POINT TURN AND PARALLEL PARK MY SPLATTERY SPLURTS", "THAT IS WHEN HE FINALLY ADMITTED THAT HE WAS AT THE LOCATION WHERE THE WOMAN HAD SPOTTED HIM, BUT SAID HE ONLY PULLED OUT HIS PENIS TO PLAY WITH IT AS PART OF THE DIGESTION PROCESS AFTER HAVING A BIG BREAKFAST.", "HAVE YOU MADE ANY EFFORT WHATSOEVER TOWARD ELIMINATING SINGLE-USE BUTTPLUGS AND REDUCING YOUR CARBON ASSPRINT", "BARELY BARELY BARELY SQUINTING AT THE SCREEN AND COVERING MY EYES AS I OPEN MY PERFORMANCE REVIEW", "IN SOVIET RUSSIA CRAIGSLIST SCAM **YOU**", "I'M A BLUE-CHIP DICKLICKER", "NO OFFENSE BUT YOUR MOUTH IS LIKE AN ANCHOR AROUND MY DICK", "CLOSING THE DOOR AND DECLARING WANKRUPTCY", "I NEVER GOT THE JO INSTRUCTIONS SO I LACK JO ENCOURAGEMENT", "IS THAT SUPPOSED TO BE A GIRAFFE", "MORE LIKE THE HITCHHIKER'S GUIDE TO NOT GIVING A SHIT ABOUT ALL YOUR EMAILS", ":NOTES: IF YOU'RE FOND OF SAND DUNES / AND BIG LONG DONGS", "I'M A CYBER_AD", "SO IN LIKE 1 HOUR IT'LL BE NOON AND THEN A COUPLE HOURS LATER IT'LL BE BEDTIME SO WHY THE FUCK IS THERE EVEN LIFE ON EARTH", "M - I - C", "REPEATEDLY EXPOSING MYSELF ON THE SETS OF BBC'S DOCTOR WHO", "IF THE UNIVERSE IS EXPANDING MAYBE WE SHOULD STAND 100 FEET AWAY FROM EACH OTHER AND THEN 1000 FEET", ":CUCUMBER: :CUCUMBER: :CUCUMBER: :CUCUMBER: :CUCUMBER: :CUCUMBER: :CUCUMBER: :CUCUMBER: :CUCUMBER: :CUCUMBER: MY DOCUMENTS :CUCUMBER: :CUCUMBER: :CUCUMBER: :CUCUMBER: :CUCUMBER: :CUCUMBER: :CUCUMBER: :CUCUMBER: :CUCUMBER: :CUCUMBER:", "WELL IT SOUNDS LIKE THERANOS ALL OVER AGAIN WHERE I PUT MY PENIS IN A MAGIC BOX AND IT \"JUST WORKS\"", "HOW ABOUT A DIAPER THREAD", "YOUR SEE'S CANDIES ORDER HAS SHIPPED", "DEMOTED OR PROMOTED TO BREAD GUY FOR THE WHOLE COMMUNITY", "I USE GENTOO AND I AM TRANS", "THE WORLD IS STILL TALKING ABOUT THE SHITTY FLORIDA CONDO THAT FLOPPED OVER LIKE IT'S 9/11", "IS THERE ROOM IN YOUR HEART FOR TEN BIG DICKS IN YOUR MOUTH", "OH GOD A TROPICAL BIRD FLEW UP MY NOSE AND NOW I'M TOUCAN SAM", "I'D RATHER BE STUCK IN AN ELEVATOR WITH A FILTHY, OBSCENE DOM DELOUISE THAN A FAMILY-ORIENTED BLABBERY DOM DELOUISE", "I'M GOING TO CALL YOU WRANGLER", "IN THIS CARTOONTHE FAT CATS REPRESENTPOLITICIANS !!!", "ALL IN THE TOILET /THE TOILET / THE TOILET", "DID YOU MEAN: BONNER FARM", "SOME CAR OUT THERE NEEDS A NEW FAN BELT", "WE DON'T COMMENT ON ACTIVE BEATOFFS", "POPPING INTO YOUR STALL ON MY UNDER-CAR ROLLER", "JUST CAN'T FIGURE OUT WHY FORCES AND INTERACTIONS BEHAVE SO DIFFERENTLY AT SMALL SCALES THAN THEY DO LARGE SCALES", "THERE'S LICKING DICKS IN SPACE AND THERE'S LICKING DICKS FROM SPACE", "ALL SET TO ENTER THE QUEER TIER ?\ufe0f", "T DEUCE JOIN ME IN THE SQUIRT BOOTH AT THE SPRAY PARK FOR THE SPLOP FAIR", "I GOT VAXXED BUT I STILL HAVE TO GO TO THE BATHROOM", "DO YOU SERIOUSLY HAVE A PROBLEM WITH ME PUTTING GLITTER ON HOT DOGS", "HOW COOL WILL IT BE WHEN WE CAN SHIT ON OUR PHONES AND FOLD THEM LIKE A WAFFLE IRON", "THEY SHOULD REBRAND AS GIRAFFEGHANISTAN AND GIVE EVERYONE RIDES :GIRAFFE_FACE::GIRAFFE_FACE::GIRAFFE_FACE::GIRAFFE_FACE::GIRAFFE_FACE::GIRAFFE_FACE:", "ROUGHLY TWENTY OF YOUR EARTH DICKS", "THE ONLY JAMS I'M PUMPING OUT ARE FROM THIS PLASTIC BOTTLE OF SMUCKER'S SQUEEZABLE STRAWBERRY", "OFF TO MARINE WORLD TO HAVE A \"WHALE\" OF A GOOD TIME !!!!!!!", "POUND MY BALLS SO I QUALIFY FOR FEMA AID", "TURNS OUT EL CIDJUST MEANS THE CID", "SERIOUSLY HOW ABOUT A SUPERCUT OF ALL THE DICKS I LICKED OVER LABOR DAY WEEKEND", "HURRR I REALLY AM PAYING AT THE PUMP", ":SMALL_RED_TRIANGLE::SMALL_RED_TRIANGLE::SMALL_RED_TRIANGLE::SMALL_RED_TRIANGLE_DOWN: OW OW OW", "ABSOTIVELY POSITOOTLY GAY", "IS JAMES BOND AT ALLWORRIED THERE MIGHT BENO TIME TO LICK DICK", "HI I'M A NICE GAZEBO FROM ORCHARD SUPPLY LET'S GO TO MY PLACE / HONK SURPRISE I'M AN OUTHOUSE TOILET", "RYAN GOSLING :POINT_RIGHT: IS :POINT_LEFT: MARTIN LUTHER KING (THIS XMAS)", "LICK MY DICK OR BE ON THE WRONG SIDE OF HISTORY", "THIS PLACE IS A TOTAL PARTY ZONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!", ":NOTES: HOT BLOODED :NOTES: :NOTES: LOOK AT MY DICK :NOTES:", "YOU DON'T HAVE TO LICK ALL THE DICKS . . . . .", "TONIGHT WE GO INSIDE THE MIND OF A PENIS", "TYPE 2 DIABEATOFF", "CAN YOU BELIEVE WE KILLED COMMANDER Q'UACKIM SALAMI AND K'OTAKU AL-HULLABALOO", "WHY DOES TWITTERKEEP WORKING WITH CHINATO CENSOR OUR SHEN YUN POSTS", "EVERY DINNER IN SAN FRANCISCO INVOLVES TEN DUMB QUAILS, ALL THEY DO IS GET THEIR HEADS CHOPPED OFF", "WELL MY NAME IS SPIGOTAND I'M HERE TO SAYEVERY SINGLE KIND OF KIT KATIS A-OKAY", "? PLEASE HOLD FOR MY PENIS", ":SPACE_INVADER::SPACE_INVADER::SPACE_INVADER: BLEEP BLORP", "WHY DON'T YOU LICK MY DICK SEAMLESSLY ACROSS ALL DEVICES", "T PANTS LEAVING CANDY ON THE KITCHEN TABLE EARNS UP TO 100 PANTS POINTS", "EXCEPT THAT YOUR PHONE PINGED A CELL TOWER IN THE DICKLICKNG DISTRICT", "YOU DON'T HAVE TOLICK ****ALL****THE DICKS !!!!!!", "LIGHT YEARS ARE NOT ACTUALLY UNITS OF TIME, BUT GIRTH", "WHO'S READY FOR A TWO-HOUR TEAM MEETING AT 7:30AM", "WHADDYA MEAN BONEQUEST AND BALLQUEST ARE HAPPENING ON THE SAME DAY", "IMAGINE NOT BEING ABLE TO MAINTAIN AN ERECTION IN FRONT OF YOUR OWN CHILDREN AND GRANDCHILDREN", "I WON'T GO ASTRAY", "DO YOU DARE ME TO SIT ON A BUDWEISER LIMITED EDITION HOLIDAY CAN", "HAVE YOU TRIED TAKING THE PENIS OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND PUTTING IT BACK IN AGAIN", "WHAT PART OF REVERSE SQUIRT GANGBANG IS HARD TO UNDERSTAND", ":SANTA: \u26c4 :SNOWFLAKE: :CHRISTMAS_TREE: THE HOLIDAY SQUIRTS ARE HERE :CHRISTMAS_TREE: :SNOWFLAKE: \u26c4 :SANTA:", "SURELY HIS MAJESTY MEANS CHICKS WITHOUT DICKS ???", ":BANJO:", "I BEAT OFF IN THE CAR WITH SAFEWAY CONDITIONER", "99 BOTTLES OF DICK IN MY MOUTH", "ON A SCALE OF YELLOW TO BROWN, YELLOW BEING TINKLE", "T DEUCE WILL YOU JOIN ME AT THE MILKING TABLE", "BLK BLK BLK ASMR DICKLICKING", "INTRODUCING FART FONTS", "U GOT NOG ROLLED", "SISSIFYMYTINYCAGEDPRICK.COM WOULD LIKE TO SEND YOU NOTIFICATIONS.", "A SPECIAL HOLIDAY FART VIDEO FOR MY FANS", "BY THE THUMBINGOF MY PRICK", "YOU CAN MAKE YOUR OWN HOURS", "(FLATTENING DIRT PILE WITH SHOVEL) WE ALL MAKE MISTAKES AS PARENTS", "GOING OUTSIDE IS FOR FAGS", "WHERE'S THE SHAMPOO DISPENSSSSSSSSSSSS", "TOILET BOWLS", "FAMILY-SIZED SQUIRTS IN MY MID-RANGE SEDAN", "HAD TO TAKE A HOODIE OFF WHILE HOLDING A DONUT AND LOST A FEW SPRINKLES", "EMOTIONAL SUPPORT GROUPSFOR WHEN THE EMOJISDON'T FACE THEDIRECTION YOU WANT", "TRY MAKING FIG NEWTONS WITHOUT FIGS AND ADD PEANUT BUTTER AND JELLY", "DONG DONG", "ARE YOU TELLING ME THERE'S A :POINT_RIGHT:QUEER:POINT_LEFT: PODCAST", "I OPENED THE FRIDGE AND A CAN OF SODA ROLLED OUT AND HIT THE FLOOR AND NOW I KNOW HOW MY PENIS FEELS", "5 MINS TO 4:20 SO I BETTER FINISH MY WINE", "BLURKLPTH SORRY BLURKLPTH SORRY BLURKLPTH SORRY BLURKLPTH SORRY", ":POINT_RIGHT::SKIN-TONE-2:PRESIDENT:POINT_LEFT::SKIN-TONE-2: OF THE SAN ANSELMO BEDWETTERS ASSOCIATION", "WITH MY ZOOM LENS I CAN SEE SOMEONE HAS THROWN AWAY A PERFECTLY GOOD COPY OF ANNIE AND THE MAGIC DILDO", "JUST INTRODUCE ME AS MASTER OF THE MACABRE AND I'LL TAKE IT FROM THERE", "\ud83d\udfe9\ud83d\udfe9\ud83d\udfe9\ud83d\udfe9\ud83d\udfe9\ud83d\udfe8\u2b1c\ud83d\udfe8\u2b1c\ud83d\udfe8\u2b1c\u2b1c\u2b1c\u2b1c\ud83d\udfe8", "IMAGINE HOW MANY CANADAS AND MEXICOS WE'D HAVE BY NOW IF PUTIN WAS OUR PRESIDENT", "WHAT TOILET CAM", "PUTIN'S PEACEKEEPING TANKS", "THE ROBOT PROSTITUTE HAS CLAMPED MY DONG AND I NEED MORE QUARTERS", "CAN'T SPELL UKRAINE WITHOUT URINE", "NO THANKS, I DON'T LIKE TO POO IN MY PANTS.", "WE SHOULD LAY OUR PENISES SIDE BY SIDE AND CONDUCT AN OSCAR SLUGFEST #OSCARS #STREAMING", "DO TRANS PEOPLE JUST NOT CARE THEY'RE FUCKING UP MACHINE LEARNING", "PLEASE BE ADVISED YOU ALL LICK DICK", "WELL THAT GRILLED CHEESE SANDWICH", "WE'VE CONTRIBUTED ENOUGH CONTENT TO SOCIETY AND MADE A REAL DIFFERENCE THAT WE NEVER HAVE TO PAY FOR MOVIES AGAIN", "ATHERTON RESIDENT, MASTURBATOR", "IF I COULD SAVE TIME IN A BOTTLE I WOULD PUT THAT BOTTLE UP MY REAR END AND DO HOUR-LONG FARTS AT THANKSGIVING", "YOU KNOW WHAT I SAY TO TRANS HATERS", "WHOEVER SAID I LICK DICK WAS REALLY NOT JOKING BLORK BLOP", "DISNEY TO REMOVE COSBY STATUE", "READING A THREAD WHICH PURPORTS TO \"MAKE YOU GAY\"", "BREAK FOR FARTS", "NO I DO NOT WANT A JOB IN THE GUANGDONG PROVINCE, WHO IS THIS", "CORONAVIRUS HAS MADE US ALL THINK TWICE ABOUT LICKING TOILET SEATS IN AN AIRPORT BATHROOM", "DO I WANT A JERKOFF ROOM IN MY PANIC ROOM OR A PANIC ROOM IN MY JERKOFF ROOM", "HAVE FUN BEATING OFF WHILE FREE SPEECH IS UNDER ATTACK", "IN SPACE NO ONE CAN HEAR YOU LICK DICK !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!", "SERVING SIZE 1 COOKIE", "MY DONG IS VISIBLE FROM SPACE", "WHERE'S THE SUPERCUT OF RALPH KRAMDEN ACTUALLY HITTING HIS WIFE", "BLOP SPLOP LITERALLY NO SUPPLY CHAIN DISRUPTION HERE BAGURK BAGOLP", "WHO KNEW DUTCH CRUNCH WOULD LEAVE SO MANY CRUMBS IN THE BED", "HOW'S MY BEIGE WINDBREAKER", ":POINT_RIGHT::SKIN-TONE-2: HARD :POINT_LEFT::SKIN-TONE-2: MODE :EGGPLANT: :STRAIGHT_RULER::EGGPLANT: :STRAIGHT_RULER::EGGPLANT: :STRAIGHT_RULER::EGGPLANT: :STRAIGHT_RULER::EGGPLANT: :STRAIGHT_RULER:", "WHAT MISSING JUVENILES", "NNNNNGGG I'VE BEEN HACK A DOODLE DOO'D", "TODAY LET'S BE GRATEFUL WE DON'T HAVE TO SUCK DICK IN A MULTIVERSE OF MADNESS", "MORE LIKE BLOW V. LAID", "HORDES OF YOUNG PEOPLE BUZZING AROUND THE FESTIVAL, FILLING OUT MORTGAGE LOANS, PREPARING THEIR TAXES", "NOTHING IS SO 'URGENT' I NEED TO HEAR ABOUT IT", "COCKSUCKING IN THE *** METAVERSE ***", "TWO TRUTHS AND A DICK IN YOUR MOUTH", "PUTTING POO IN THE TUPPERWARE", "LEAVING AT 2PM TODAY!!!", "HAS AMERICA LEARNED :POINT-RIGHT: :POINT-RIGHT: ANYTHING :POINT-LEFT: :POINT-LEFT: ABOUT FORCING KIDS TO GO TO SCHOOL ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ?", "\"DON'T LOAD UP ON BREAD\" :POINT_LEFT::SKIN-TONE-2: NICE \"\"\"ADVICE\"\"\"\"", "DOES GOING TO THE BATHROOM COUNT AS EXERCISE", "MY LORD THY PANTS ARE TRULY POO WORTHY", "THIS SUPERIOR COURT OF LOS ANGELES IN THE ABOVE ENTITLED ACTION DOES HEREBY SENTENCE YOU TO RAY DONOVAN: THE MOVIE", "SAAADAAS: SPOOKY ACTION AT A DISTANCE AS A SERVICE", "FEYNMAN'S REVERSE SPRINKLER IS JUST TWO FAGS BLOWING EACH OTHER UNDERWATER", "OW OW OKAY ONE WRONG WAY TO EAT A REESE'S", "STARE AT THE DOT IN THE CENTER OF THIS OPTICAL ILLUSION FOR 45 MINUTES AND EVENTUALLY THERE'S A 15 SECOND AD", "ANY SUFFICIENTLY ADVANCED TECHNOLOGY IS INDISTINGUISHABLE FROM COCKSUCKING", "SAYS HERE YOU WORKED AT RATEMYPOO FROM 2000-2019, TELL ME ABOUT THOSE TWO DECADES NOPE HE'S GONE, NEXT", "TIRED OF DUMB LAZY MOMS GETTING THE WRONG LACROIX", "IF YOU SEE A PENIS IN ACT ONE", "AM I A TOP", "SHITTING THROUGH MY AERON CHAIR", "LARPING AS A RAPIST", "HOW / ARE YA FIXED / FOR :POINT_RIGHT::SKIN-TONE-2: FARTS :POINT_LEFT::SKIN-TONE-2:", "WHY ARE FORKS SO HEAVY OH RIGHT I'M OLD", "WILL YOU LICK MY DICK", "FROM NOW ON IF YOU PUT SPIGOT IN A STRIP AND IT GETS SHIT NUMBERS I'M EMPTYING THE CATBOX ON YOUR KEYBOARD", "ALL I SAID WAS YOUR STUPID CASSEROLE LOOKS LIKE A SCHOOL SHOOTING", "IF ALL YOU'RE GOING TO DO IS TELL ME TO STROKE IT THIS CALL IS OVER", "THE LAND O' LAKES JUVENILE DETENTION FACILITY", "DO YOU DARE ME TO SHIT ON THE FLOOR OF SHOE PAVILION", "RAINDROPS KEEP LICKIN' / ON MY DICK :NOTES:", ":NOTES: :NOTES: :NOTES: :NOTES: :NOTES: :NOTES: GOT A BIG ERECTION IN MY FACE / TODAY :NOTES: :NOTES: :NOTES: :NOTES: :NOTES: :NOTES:", "I STILL FIT INTO THE DIAPERS I WORE IN HIGH SCHOOL", "PLAY THE SNL CLOSING THEME AS EVERYONE BEATS OFF AT EACH OTHER", "LAST CHANCE TO LOOK AT ME HECTOR", "THE ANCIENT WISDOM OF THE ELDERS", "ONE QUESTION I HAVE IS IF DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME IMPACTS COCKSUCKING IN THE DATA CENTER", "I STAND FOR THE FLAG AND KNEEL FOR THE DICKS", "I'VE MAINTAINED MY POSITION ON LOCKS/DEADBOLTS FOR OVER 20 YEARS: JEERS", "MAVERICK AND GOOSE ARE CUTTING THEIR DICKS OFF AND HIGH-FIVING", "YOU'VE HEARD OF HOT CROSS BUNS WELL", "I NEED PENIS REDUCTION SURGERY!!! IT'S CAUGHT IN THE CAR DOOR AND FLAPPING AROUND ON THE FREEWAY", "THALES :SWEAT_DROPS: THERVITH :SWEAT_DROPS: THUPPORT :SWEAT_DROPS:", "CLASPING MY HANDS TOGETHER AND ASSIGNING YOU ALL STRETCH GOALS TO GET YOU OUT OF YOUR COMFORT ZONES", "WHICH IS WORSE: A SYMPOSIUM OR A WEBINAR", "IS POOING YOUR PANTS ACTUALLY ILLEGAL OR JUST FROWNED UPON", "BEFORE I LICK YOUR DICK I JUST NEED TO GO AHEAD AND READ YOU YOUR RIGHTS", "A BOOK CLUB BUT WE SHOOT THE BOOKS", "MY PENIS FELL ASLEEP TODAY SO IT'LL BE UP ALL NIGHT", "I MADE A SQUIRTY DIARRHEA SOUND IN THE TOILET BOWL THAT SOUNDED EXACTLY LIKE THE MONTY PYTHON ONE AND I ALSO DID ONE IN THE BED", "I'D LIKE TO SOLVE THE PUZZLE: I LICK DICK", "ARE WE OLD ENOUGH TO CONCEAL-CARRY GRABBERS", "DO WE AT LEAST GET TO RIDE THE QUEEN'S COFFIN DOWN THE LOG RIDE AT GREAT AMERICA", "I REMEMBER WHEN :TRANSGENDER_FLAG: SYMBOLIZED A PERFECT SWIRL OF AQUAFRESH ON MY TOOTHBRUSH", "IF :POINT-RIGHT: I :POINT-LEFT: WERE A VILLAIN", "WHAT IS THE DEFINITION OF SUCCESS FOR A CINNAMON ROLL? `UM NO RAISINS` [SEND]", "JUST GOING TO TUCK IN MY LANYARD HERE", ":NOTES: :NOTES: :NOTES: :NOTES: TAKIN' CARE / OF BUSINESS :NOTES: :NOTES: :NOTES: :NOTES:", "SUCKING SO MUCH DICK MY WATCH THINKS I RAN A 5K", "ACCORDING TO THE COSMIC CALENDAR I'VE ONLY BEEN LICKING DICK FOR HALF A SECOND BUT HONESTLY IT FEELS LIKE SEVERAL HOURS", "SOMEONE CUT MY FUCKING HEAD OFF SO I CAN GO HOME EARLY", "*** BREAKING ***", "NO IFS ANDS OR SQUIRTS", "TRAVELING THROUGH TIME DOING MATH AND STUDYING THE VIOLIN I LITERALLY HAVE NO TIME FOR CAPERS", "AY TON WE GOT CONNECTIVITY PROBLEMS", "YOU SAY DICKLICKING, I SAY RECLAIMING YOUTHFUL VIGOR", "PENIS PROBLEMS???", "HERE'S A FACTOR YOU COULD AUTHENTICATE: JESUS CHRIST", "SORRY ABOUT MY LDE (LONG DONG ENERGY)", "LIKE A FOOT OR SO", "?????? ???????????? COCKSUCKING IN GUILLERMO DEL TORO'S CABINET OF CURIOSITIES ????????????? ?????????", "I'M HAVING GOOD LUCK WITH SWISS BASICS MOISTURIZING FORMULA", "THIS IS A GREAT DAY FOR PICTURES OF MY PENIS", "IS THERE SERIOUSLY NO PORN STAR NAMED SANDY HOOK", "MANAGER'S MONDAY MINUTE !!!!!!!!! DUMPING HOT OATMEAL ON YOUR CHILD!!!!!!", "FIREWORKS IN THE COURTROOM AS I POO MY PANTS", ":NOTES: :TV: WHO'S GOT TIME / FOR THE MID-DAY SQUIRTS :BASKETBALL: \ud83d\uddd1\ufe0f :STAR2: :100: :GLASS_OF_MILK::GLASS_OF_MILK::GLASS_OF_MILK::GLASS_OF_MILK::GLASS_OF_MILK::GLASS_OF_MILK: :DOUGHNUT::DOUGHNUT::DOUGHNUT::DOUGHNUT::DOUGHNUT:", "I CAN LICK DICK ALL NIGHT *OR* I CAN DRINK THIS MUCH WATER :PINCHING_HAND: AND LICK DICK ALL NIGHT INTO THE MORNING", "WILLING TO LICK DICK FOR ELDENRING DOWNLOADABLE CONTENT", "WHAT ARE ALL THESE MOTORIZED SKATEBOARDS DOING AT A JEWISH KINDERGARTEN ??", "DID I HEAR YOU RIGHT / DID I HEAR YOU SAYIN", "I DID NOT LIKE THAT VISIT FROM THE GHOST OF PENISES YET TO COME", "LICKING DICK . . . . . . . . . . . . . .", "WILL LICK DICK FOR A STRUCTURED SETTLEMENT", "WILL MY PENIS REPLACE PROGRAMMERS", "IS IT REALLY ONCE AGAIN THE STUPIDEST TIME OF YEAR WHEN CAMWHORES WEAR SANTA HATS", "ALL THE AVATAR CHARACTERS HAVE DOWN'S SYNDROME", "WOULD IT BE GAY IF I JUST DIED", "NOW I'M BEATING OFF AT BREUNER'S AND IN 10 OR SO MINS I'LL BE BEATING OFF AT MMM CARPETS", "PENISES LOWKEY HIT DIFFERENT WHEN THEY'RE ERECT", "YOUR DICKLICKITUDE IS LIKE 99% OF IT", "IS BEN HUR THE GAY ONE OR IS LAWRENCE OF ARABIA THE GAY ONE OR IS SPARTACUS THE GAY ONE OR ARE THEY ALL GAY ONES", ":DOOR: GLORK BLORP BLOP GLOP", "YOUR MONEY OR YOUR LIFE", "I'VE DEDICATED MY LIFE TO LICKING DICK AND NOW ROBOTS ARE DOING IT", "ONE DAY COMPUTERS MIGHT FIT UP MY REAR END", "PLEASE ENJOY MY PENIS RESPONSIBLY", "TRY MY PENIS FOR 90 DAYS FREE", "EVERY TIME I WATCH GROUNDHOG DAY IT'S THE SAME STUPID MOVIE", "SHOUTOUT TO EVERYONE HOLDING MY PENIS RIGHT NOW", "ZOOMING IN TO SHOW THE HR LADY WHERE IT SAYS SFW AND RESTING MY CASE WITH A SELF-SATISTFIED \"EXCLAMATION POINT\"", "RUNNING DOWN THE STREET", "DO WE HAVE A GO-TO-MARKET STRATEGY FOR MY PENIS", "IF RUSSIA GETS UKRAINE AND CHINA GETS TAIWAN WHAT DO I GET #AIDS #COMCAST #XFINITY", "I'LL SEE YOUR 76 FAT PRICKS IN THE BIG PARADE AND RAISE YOU 110 BIG FAT DONGS CLOSE AT HAND", "FIRST TIME CALLER, LONG TIME DICKLICKER", "I WOULD LIKE TO SUCK 101 DICKS AND MAKE A COAT OF SQUIRT", "VERY QUIETLY, VERY SLOWLY, VERY EVENLY: GET OUT OF MY DATACENTER", "CHAIR RECOGNIZES THE GENTLEMAN ABOUT TO BUST A NUT", "I CAN'T BE BENDING OVER PICKING UP EVERY CORN DOG I DROP", "HAVE YOU NOTICED THAT NOTHING IS EVER RIGHT", "JAVASCRIPT QUESTION:", "DONGS OUT: A BONEQUEST MYSTERY", "THIS DATACENTER NEEDS AN INTIMACY COORDINATOR", "CAPTAIN'S LOG SUPPLEMENTAL: I LICK DICK", "HOW MANY MORE TIMES IN LIFE DO I HAVE TO SEE THE WORD VANDERPUMP", "I CAN FIT 3 CADBURY CREME EGGS IN MY MOUTH", "WOULD YOU LICK DICK FOR A CHANCE TO WIN THE ULTIMATE GAMING PC", "CAPTAIN. IT APPEARS TO BE A TWENTIETH CENTURY EARTH PENIS", "EVERYTHING IS AI NOW", "LITERALLY JUST THOUGHT OF SOMETHING YOU COULD DO ALL OVER MY FACE", "CAN I OFFER YOU ANY SEXUALLY-BASED OFFENSES", "CALLING A DETECTIVE 'IRONSIDE' BECAUSE HE'S IN A WHEELCHAIR IS LIKE CALLING ME PENIS PUMP", "DO YOU KNOW WHAT NASA STANDS FOR ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ?", "KNOCK KNOCK", "ATTENTION ***LADIES***", "HERE'S MY BLACK MIRROR IDEA: WHAT IF COMPUTERS DID A THING", "ONSCREEN", "\ud83c\udfb6 \ud83c\udfb5 \ud83c\udfb6 \ud83c\udfb5 \ud83c\udfb6 NOW THIS IS A STORY / ALL ABOUT HOW \ud83c\udfb5 \ud83c\udfb6 \ud83c\udfb5 \ud83c\udfb6 \ud83c\udfb5", "JUST ADMIT MASS IS A VECTOR", "PASSIONFRUIT LACROIX IS DELICIOUS", "COCKSUCKING BEST PRACTICES", "I'M JAMES BOND AND I HAVE A LICENSE TO *****KILL*****", "DRY CLEANER COULDN'T GET AN EGREGIOUS COFFEE STAIN OUT A TOP-TIER SHIRT, GONNA MAKE CARMELLA BUY IT AGAIN", "MAY I STORE SOME PISS BOTTLES AT YOUR HOUSE", "PLEASE ENJOY THIS REDEMPTIVE ARC (OF URINE)", "AM I BEING DETAINED", "WHY HASN'T ANYBODY NOTICED NOBODY PAYS ATTENTION TO ANYONE ANYMORE", "MY NON-VERBAL CHILD", "TO PROTEST REDDIT'S EXPENSIVE API I'LL BE HOSING ALL THE DOG SHIT OFF THE SIDEWALK AND HANDING OUT BALLOONS", "I PROPOSED SHIT-SHAPED SHOES, SHOE-SIZED SHITS, SHIT-SIZED SHOES AND FINALLY SHOE-SHAPED SHITS", "WHY IS MY MOUSE SUPER WARM LIKE IT WAS RAY TRACING MOTION BLURS ALL NIGHT", "DEUCE AND I WERE ABLE TO ALIGN OUR STREAMS TO MAKE LETTERS LIKE X AND T AND V AND L AND SOMETIMES Y", "WHO KEEPS PUTTING MY SELF-ESTEEM WORKBOOK IN THE URINAL", "WHEN THE BEATLES SING \"I WANT TO HOLD YOUR HAND\"", "WE LOVE FEEDBACK", "TIME FOR MY 10PM TATER TOTS", "THIS BACKGROUND COLOR FEELS SO GOOD", "IF THIS IS YOUR FIRST TIME AT CLUB TUG YOU HAVE TO TUG", "GAY RIGHTS??!?!?!?! WHAT EVER HAPPENED TO JUST PLAIN GAY DICKS", "I'M A HONKEYTONK QUEER!!!!! ON MY WAY TO CLUB COCKALOT!!!!!!!!!!", "DEPLOYING MY NUTS AS AN INTERNATIONAL POLICE APPARATUS", "THIS GALLUP POLL SAYS I'M FATTER AND GAYER BY +3", "WHOA HOLY GOD SHIT FALLING", "I'D LIKE A HAMBURGER AND LARGE FAGS", "FOLKS A HAM RADIO OPERATOR IN SAN ANSELMO JUST ADMITTED TO FEELING ..", "NOTE TO MYSELF: SUCK DICK", "PLEASE STRENGTHEN MY EASTERN FLANK", "THE CALIFORNIA RAISINS LOOK UNVAXXED", "IS THERE A DONGLE OR DEVICE THAT CONVERTS PIZZA INTO DIARRHEA", "MY REAR END IS SENDING ME PUSH NOTIFICATIONS", "INTRODUCING THE BONEQUEST SOURDOUGH STARTER: PARKING-LOT-SOCK.JPG", "WHAT DID THE DOCTOR SAY TO THE CHERRY PIE", "MY FAKE CANCER IS BACK", "ALL THE DICKS YOU'VE EVER LICKED SUSPENDED IN A SUNBEAM", "FARTMANAGER TIMED OUT", ":100: PENISES IN :100: DAYS CHALLENGE", "WHY CAN'T YOU SUPPORT INDIGENOUS PEOPLES WITHOUT BEATING THEM OFF", "DID MULDER SERIOUSLY NEVER LOOK INTO THE Y FILES", "I WISH SOMEONE WOULD PULL MY PORK", "I SURE WISH I COULD LIVE A LONG LONG LONG TIME", "NO I WOULD NOT CARE FOR A GROAT CAKE", "WOULD YOU LIKE FRESH PEAR SLICES ON YOUR PIZZA", "T DEUCE DO U STILL LIKE THE SPRITE IN ME :CUP_WITH_STRAW:", "HI I'M SPIGOT AND THIS IS MY STUDIO APARTMENT ON VALLEY GREEN DRIVE WHERE I LIVE WITH FIVE OTHER NET-SAVVY MULTIMEDIA PROFESSIONALS", "ON ANDROID PHONES THE BROADCASTIFY APP SOMEHOW MAINTAINS A SECOND AUDIO STREAM SO YOU CAN LISTEN TO THE CLEVELAND METRO HOUSING AUTHORITY AND PIPE ORGAN CIRCUS MUSIC", "THAT STALL OVER THERE IS THE FAT PEOPLE STALL (AKA THE BLUBBER BUS)", "PLEASE PASS THE VEGAN APPLE PRUNECAKE", "I HOPE THIS EMAIL FINDS YOU FAT", "ITS FACIAL FRIDAY ON SPUNKSITES IF YOU HAVE A SPUNKPASS", "I SAID: I WISH SOMEONE WOULD PULL MY PORK", "WHERE'S HOMOCOP WITH MY 15 SECONDS TO COMPLY", "SUNNYVALE GOLFLAND USA YOUR SILENCE IS DEAFENING RE: ISRAEL", "CHECKING MY REAR END FOR MALWARE", "U PUT THE U IN UBUNTU", "HI HOW ARE YOU I AM FINE I SAW BARBIE AND IT WAS FUNNY AND GOOD I HOPE YOU ARE HAVING A NICE HALLOWEEN MY FAVORITE CANDY BARS ARE TWIX SNICKERS AND REESES BUT NOT STARBURST BECAUSE THEY HURT MY MOUTH", "IF YOU'RE SO GREAT THEN WHERE'S A LINK TO YOUR NUDES", "GETTING A TATTOO ON MY LOWER BACK THAT SAYS `DO NOT TRACK` BECAUSE THAT WILL ABSOLUTELY KEEP ALL THE PENISES OUT", "IS THERE ANYTHING IN YOUR POCKETS THAT MIGHT PRICK ME OR POKE ME", ":LOCK: THIS PENIS IS ONLY AVAILABLE TO SUBSCRIBERS", "WHAT PENIS CAGE WILL YOU BE WEARING FOR LOCKTOBER", "I THOUGHT A GENDER REVEAL WAS JUST PULLING MY PANTS DOWN", "IS IT TRUE BART SIMPSON SAT ON A BUTTERFINGER AND THAT'S WHY HE'S LIKE THAT", "I'LL BET THE BANANAS SOMETIMES DID DIARRHEA IN THEIR PAJAMAS", "HOW ABOUT A BIG TREE WHERE MILLENNIALS CAN RENT A NOOSE FOR THE NIGHT", "HOMPTH :CHOCOLATE_BAR: MPTH :CHOCOLATE_BAR: GLK :CHOCOLATE_BAR: GLORP :CHOCOLATE_BAR: BLOP :CHOCOLATE_BAR: HOMPTH :CHOCOLATE_BAR: MPTH:CHOCOLATE_BAR: GLK :CHOCOLATE_BAR: HOMPTH :CHOCOLATE_BAR: MPTH :CHOCOLATE_BAR: HOMPTH :CHOCOLATE_BAR: MPTH :CHOCOLATE_BAR: GLK :CHOCOLATE_BAR: GLORP :CHOCOLATE_BAR: BLOP :CHOCOLATE_BAR: HOMPTH :CHOCOLATE_BAR: MPTH :CHOCOLATE_BAR: GLK :CHOCOLATE_BAR: GLORP :CHOCOLATE_BAR: BLOP :CHOCOLATE_BAR: MPTH :CHOCOLATE_BAR: HOMPTH :CHOCOLATE_BAR: MPTH :CHOCOLATE_BAR: GLK :CHOCOLATE_BAR: GLORP :CHOCOLATE_BAR: BLOP :CHOCOLATE_BAR: MPTH :CHOCOLATE_BAR: HOMPTH :CHOCOLATE_BAR:", "PLEASE ADDRESS MY PENIS AS CRYPTO'S GOLDEN BOY", "GLORP BLGK YOU CALL THIS THRIVING IN CHRIST", "MORALLY AND ETHICALLY OBLIGATED TO POO MY PANTS", "MY PENIS IS STILL DOWN DUE TO A CYBERATTACK", "TURNS OUT I CAN EAT $122 WORTH OF PASTRIES IN 8 HOURS, WHERE'S MY PARADE", "ARE YOU STILL BEATING OFF WITH PETROLEUM-BASED FOSSIL FUELS", "GIVE ME A REASON TO PARTICIPATE IN LIFE TODAY", "THE WORLD AS WE KNOW IT MUST STOP", "I SEARCHED FOR PRUNES TO FAKE OUT AD SERVERS AND NOW I'M SEEING ADS FOR PRUNES AND I'M LIKE HA HA DON'T CARE MEANWHILE BANKRUPT PRUNE FARMERS ARE SMOTHERING THEIR CHILDREN AND HANGING THEMSELVES DUE TO MY PRUNE ABUSE", "BIDEN TAKES HUGE LOAD", "GIVE ME TEN BJ'S IN A ROW OR I WON'T DOWNLOAD SEASON 2 OF BOSCH: LEGACY", "I SURE DO WISH MY PENIS WOULD RALLY IN THE LATE AFTERNOON LIKE MSFT OR NVDA", "HOW DO YOU GET EGG NOG OUT OF THE KEYS/KEYBOARD", "I'D LIKE TO KNOW WHY DICKS ARE SO WARM AND WELCOMING TO THE NEW USER BUT SO HARSH AND UNFORGIVING TO THE VETERAN", "GUNFIRE FOLLOWED BY URINE BALLOONS", " BONEQUEST.STORE ORDER INCOMING", "WELL I GUESS YOU'RE JUST TOO COOL TO BELIEVE IN GHOSTS THAT LIVE IN GIRLS' REAR ENDS", "ALL I'M SUGGESTING IS A CIRCUMCISED GAY MEN'S CHOIR", "I PUT MY PHONE DOWN ON THE BATHROOM FLOOR AND A SINGLE DROPLET OF TINKLE FELL FROM MY PENIS RIGHT ONTO THE SEND BUTTON SO THAT'S WHY YOU HAVE SOME BUT NOT ALL OF MY DICK PICS", "STILL SO PISSED BORDER PATROL ASKED IF I WAS TRANSPORTING ANY FRUITS OR VEGETABLES", "LICK MY DICK AND GET 10% CASH BACK", "I CAN ONLY TAKE ONE GUEST TO THE NAKATOMI PLAZA CHRISTMAS PARTY", "HOW ARE WE ALL DOING ON OUR PLEDGE TO HAVE MORE CANNOLIS DELIVERED TO OUR HOMES VIA UBER EATS", "IT SUCKS TO HAVE SO MUCH DIARRHEA BUT THIS IS WHAT HAPPINESS LOOKS LIKE", "LEARN TO SPOT THE SIGNS OF GROOMING LIKE THIS MOVE WHERE I YANK YOUR SKIRT UP OVER YOUR HEAD", "DO YOU THINK MICHAEL FARADAY EVER LOCKED HIS PENIS IN ONE OF HIS OWN CAGES", "PRESSING THE FLIPPER ZERO AGAINST MY PENIS", "BEATING OFF DOESN'T HURT ANYONE AND IT'S GOOD FOR THE ENVIRONMENT", "DOING NEWTON'S CRADLE WITH MY OWN BALLS", "WHICH SOPRANOS CHARACTER ON SESAME STREET ARE YOU ???", "GOD", "WHY ARE HOT DOGS EIGHT TO A PACK WHEN MY ASS FITS TEN", "SHOULD I HANG MYSELF IN THE DATA CENTER", "CHECK OUT MY NEW KICKS!!!", "HELLO", "SPENDING 2024 ON THE TOILET", "ARE WE AS A GROUP CLOSE TO COLLECTING ALL 6 MCNUGGET BUDDIES", "T PANTS DIDN'T SEE YOU AT THE MCNUGGET BUDDIES SCRUM", "CHAD FAMILY ANNIHILATOR", "I USE A BURNER HAM RADIO SO NOBODY FINDS OUT I HELP ELDERLY OPERATORS UP THE STAIRS TO PANCAKE BREAKFASTS AT THE OAKS SHOPPING CENTER", "SAY GOODBYE TO YOUR PENIS IF YOU LIVE IN THESE THREE ZIPCODES", "I HAVE THE SQUIRTS AND STILL NO GARLIC BREAD", "I PUT SCALLOPED POTATOES IN THE DISK DRIVE", "IF YOU WERE SERIOUS ABOUT LOSING WEIGHT YOU'D KEEP SUCKING", "DID YOU ALL GET MY DICKLICKING LOYALTY VOUCHERS", "EXCUSE ME EXCUSE ME EXCUSE ME BEHIND YOU HOT LASAGNA HERE", "WHAT'S THE POINT OF WHIPPING OUT MY HAND WITH LIGHTNING FAST CAT-LIKE REFLEXES TO GRAB AND SQUEEZE A FRUITFLY IF WHEN I OPEN MY HAND IT FLAPS OUT UNHARMED INTO MY FAT STUPID FACE", "ROUGHLY TEN MILLION CALORIES PER DAY", "A MURDER AT THE END OF MY PATIENCE", "DO I REALLY WANT TO DEFEND MYSELF USING THE WORD TWINK", "IF YOUR PENIS IS CIRCUMCISED WE RESPECTFULLY ASK THAT YOU USE THE :BANANA: EMOJI", "HOW COME WHEN I SUCK DICK IT SOUNDS LIKE A DOT MATRIX PRINTER", "I'M THE **COOL** MATH TEACHER WHO DROPS THE REQUIRED TEXTBOOK IN THE TRASH CAN AND PULLS OUT HIS PENIS INSTEAD", "EXCITED FOR MORE TRUE DETECTIVE: SNOOZE COUNTRY FEATURING MUSIC BY DOG SHIT", "CALLING THE FCC AND MY LOCAL CBS AFFILIATE TO COMPLAIN ABOUT ARCHIE BUNKER FLUSHING THE TOILET 53 YEARS AGO", "I'M JUST NOT SURE I'D TRUST A RAPE TEST KIT FROM TEMU", "T DEUCE I SAW YOUR POST ON REDDIT RE: HOW TOM BYRON'S CUMBACK PUSSY IS MORE LIKE TOM BYRON'S SENDBACK PUSSY", "GETTING IN MY 10,000 DICKS EACH DAY", "THERE'S A WOMAN IN THE LOBBY WHO SAYS YOU OWE HER AND HER FRIEND $600 EACH", "DO WE ALL AGREE THAT IT'S PROBABLY BEDTIME", "CLICK HERE TO OPT OUT OF CHOPPING YOUR DICK OFF", "CANCER STICKS", "ALL I KNOW IS ONCE I RETIRE I'LL HAVE TO GROW MY OWN CORN DOGS", "YOU KNOW I JUST REALIZED I'VE BEEN SITTING HERE FOR THREE HOURS AND NOT ONCE HAVE I ASKED _HOW_ MY WIFE AND CHILDREN WERE MURDERED", "MY PENIS IS BROUGHT TO YOU BY HELLO FRESH", "BUT HERE'S THE THING, FOLKS: CHANDLER HALDERSON NEVER HAD PENIS REDUCTION SURGERY", "LICK MY DICK TO THESE LO-FI BEATS", ":HELICOPTER:", "I HAVE THE WORLD'S GREATEST DRAFTS FOLDER I'M JUST OPENING IT UP TO PAID SUBSCRIBERS", "ARE YOU PUMPING YOUR PATHETIC PENIS FOR THESE GOLDEN BROWN CRINKLE CUT ORE-IDA FRENCH FRIES", "NONE OF YOU SEEM TO UNDERSTAND", "I KNOW MY MIC IS ON FUCK YOU (TINKLE SOUNDS)", "DID OUR BUSINESS LICENSE EXPIRE OR CAN I STILL WALK AROUND WITH A TRAY OF BONEQUEST STICKERS LIKE A CIGARETTE GIRL", "DO U DARE ME TO SUCK MY OWN DICK", "I'M SAD THAT I'M DRINKING MY LAST GUINNESS", "DON'T BRING MORE FROZEN CORN DOGS INTO THE HOUSE UNTIL I'VE SAT ON THE EXISTING ONES", "TIME FOR MY 10AM PINT OF ICE CREAM FOLLOWED BY MY 10:30 PINT AND THEN I THINK I'M DUE FOR A PINT AT 11", "ICED LEMON POUNDCAKES FROM STARBUCKS ARE BEST STRAIGHT FROM THE BAG BUT THEY NEED TO PUT THEM IN THE RIGHT WAY", "I SERVED AT FORT FART", "WHEN WOMEN THREATEN TO CALL HR I SAY PUFNSTUF????????? AND THEY FORGET ABOUT THE GROPES CAUSE NOW THEY SOUND DUMB", "CARROTS AND CELERY ARE THE REAL CANCER STICKS", "I'M SO PROFOUNDLY EMBARRASSED FOR OUR SOLAR SYSTEM", "CAN YOU NOT PLAY ADAGIO FOR BASSOON WHILE I PULL MY PENIS", "PISS BURGER GETTING TERRIBLE REVIEWS", "I HOPE THIS EMAIL FINDS YOU DECEASED", "WHO'S READY TO QUIT PORN AND EMBRACE CHRIST", "I THINK YOU'RE SITTING ON MY CPAP TUBE", "GIVING YOU EVERY CHANCE IN THE WORLD TO BE FART SMART", "MY ERECTION CROSSED THE RAINBOW BRIDGE TODAY", "I SAT ON MY HAYES MICROMODEM", "I'M NOW OLD ENOUGH TO BE SPIDER-MAN'S FATHER", "IT'S CATGPT AND ALL IT SAYS IS MEOW", "I NEVER SELECT RESTART OR SLEEP", "I BUILT A PARTICLE COLLIDER IN MY SOCK", "DEMOTED TO FIRST LIEUTENANT STABBIN", "RAFAH, CAN YOU EVEN BELIEVE IT", "I WAS TOUCHED INAPPROPRIATELY BY DAVID BLAINE", "YOUR HONOR, WEBSTER'S NEW WORLD COLLEGIATE DICTIONARY DEFINES \"CHILD TRAFFICKING\" AS", "BEATING OFF INTO A SCENTED CANDLE", "SO IF WE LOOK AT YOUR PENIS WE WON'T FIND ANY GUNSHOT RESIDUE, IS THAT WHAT YOU'RE SAYING", "BEDKNOBS AND BROOMSTICKS", "HOW ABOUT SOME LONG DONGS DELIVERED TO MY INBOX", "BONEQUEST PANNED AS E-WASTE", "YOU CAN TRANS IF YOU WANT TO", "TAKING A SHIT IN THE SYSTEM FOLDER", "T DEUCE IF PIZZA IS SO GREAT WHY DON'T YOU HAVE ONE DELIVERED TO ME", "PRETTY SURE MY PENIS HANGING OUT IS FREE SPEECH", "HAPPY SHORT PENIS SATURDAY", "CAN I PLEASE ASK WHO TOOK A SHIT IN THE DEVELOPER DISTRIBUTION PORTAL", "HEY REDDIT I'LL DO A PUSHUP FOR EVERY DICK I SUCK", "WHAPPING MY DICK ALONG THE PICKET FENCE", "YOUR HEALTH IS YOUR BIGGEST ASSET", "IF I BEAT OFF IN YOUR FACE IS THAT STAND YOUR GROUND", "MY PENIS HANGING OUT IS NOT THE ISSUE", "WISH YOU WOULD STOP REMARKING ON THE \"ENSHITTIFICATION\" OF MY ERECTION", "I FEEL BAD FOR HAVING TO REMIND YOU OF THIS, AND I KNOW I DON'T HAVE TO REMIND YOU, BUT . . . . . . . . IT IS TITTY TUESDAY", "MY LUMBERING AUTISTIC SON DID A BUNCH OF WEIRD HORRIBLE THINGS ?????????? W H A T", "DO YOU DARE ME TO SHIT MY LEGS OFF", "DID YOU LICK A DICK", "I WOULD STING AND DROWN STEVE IRWIN SEVERAL TIMES A DAY", "STOP CALLING MY PENIS A ZOMBIE FORECLOSURE", "PLEASE RISE FOR THE NATIONAL ANTHEM OF BONEQUEST", "IF I HAD BUT ONE WORD TO DESCRIBE MYSELF", "WE ONLY TAKE YEGGS WHAT'S BEEN TO COLLEGE", "TOUNGING WNAGS", "A SPRINKLE OF MOZZARELLA ON THE DOG SHIT", "MORE LIKE FROGGY WENT A-SUCKIN", "WHAT IF YOU HOLD THE ZUCCHINI OVER THE SINK AND I JUST NOPE WORSE", "IF YOU COULD WISH FOR THREE PEOPLE TO HAVE WITH YOU ON A DESERT ISLAND", "I HOPE NO UKRANIANS PUSH INTO MY KURSK REGION", "\"THE ANTICS AREN'T NEARLY AS CUTE AS THE FILM THINKS THEY ARE\"", "DO YOU DARE ME TO PIN MY PENIS TO THE TASKBAR", "PROUD TO HAVE BOUGHT TWO PINTS OF GOURMET ICE CREAM AND A BOX OF COOKIES TOTALLING $48", "CUT", "CAN'T WE USE AI TO SUPERIMPOSE LIMBS AND LEGS ON THE PARALYMPIANS", "ARE YOU MARRIED YET", "LEGS AIN'T EVEN THAT LONG", "PROUD TO NOT KNOW WHAT ANTIHISTAMINE IS OR DOES", "OH I'M SORRY IS THIS NOT WHERE WE SHOW OFF OUR BIG FAT FLIPPER DICKS", "OKAY ***NOW*** ARE YOU MARRIED", "JEAN-CHARLES YOU FOOL", "WHY DIDN'T ANYONE TELL ME BEING FAT WAS SO GREAT", "MA'AM, EVERYTHING'S GOING TO BE FINE.", "AM I TOO SCARED TO WATCH MIDNIGHT CROSSING AGAIN", "NOW ALL OF LEBANON'S ZENITH TELEVISIONS AND SONY DISCMANS AND NINTENDO POWER GLOVES ARE EXPLODING", "IF I PRETEND IT'S A DIALING WAND IT'S NOT GAY", "MY DICKLICKING TRADECRAFT", "WHAT DO YOU MEAN I CAN'T LICK DICK ON MY OWN PATREON PAGE", "ANYONE ELSE GOONING IN 4K", "SUCKING DICK BEHIND THE FAKE SALOON FRONT AT THE PLAYGROUND", "NEED A HYPNOSIS TAPE THAT HELPS ME STOP BREATHING THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT SO I DIE", "FALL ASLEEP FAST TO THE SOUNDS OF DICKLICKING", "ONE FOR JOKER 2 PLEASE", "T DEUCE YOU DON'T SEEM PARTICULARLY OBSESSED WITH ANY OF THE NEW FALL SWEATERS AT ROSS DRESS FOR LESS", ":MEGA:", "WAIT TIL I FIND OUT THE \"ALGORITHM\" IS JUST A HIGHLY POLISHED MIRROR OF MY OWN SHIT CHOICES IN LIFE", "I UNDERSTAND WHY YOU'RE CALLING IT THE ART OF DICKLICKING BUT DOES IT NEED TO BE A THREE-DAY SEMINAR AT THE HILTON", "LONG, LOUD TURKEY GOBBLES INTO THE K-MART INTERCOM", "OF COURSE AMERICANS AREN'T STOCKPILING BIDETS", "IN THE GAY NEIGHBORHOOD JUST SCROLLING THROUGH THE WIFI ACCESS POINTS", "YOUR PENIS DEPRECIATES THE MOMENT YOU PULL IT OUT OF YOUR PANTS", "SURE IS FUN TO FIX WINDOWS AUDIO + BLUETOOTH PROBLEMS ALL DAY", "OH MY GOD YOU POO YOUR PANTS ONE TIME AND YOU'RE THE POO YOUR PANTS GUY", "PI CALCULATED TO 105 TRILLION DIGITS, SMASHING WORLD RECORD", "THE LONGSHOREMEN ARE EXPECTED TO RETURN TO WORK TOMORROW", "MAYBE WOMEN'S RESTROOMS ARE SO DISGUSTING BECAUSE THAT'S THE ONLY PLACE THEY CAN EXPRESS THEMSELVES WITHOUT A MAN CHIMING IN", "DOES ANYONE CARE I'M THE GHOST OF CHRISTMAS PENIS", "IS ALIEN ROMULUS JUST GOING TO BE A BUNCH OF SKIBIDI ZOOMERS DIRECTED BY A EUROPEAN SKIBIDI ZOOMER", "MAYBE THE UNITED STATES MILITARY OPERATIVES STATIONED AT AREA 51 SHOULD DIRECT SOME OF THEIR PRECIOUS ANTI-AIRCRAFT HIGH PULSE MICROWAVE RADIATION `EVTUG URER NG QRRM AHGF`", "MAYBE IF EXTRA-TERRESTRIALS HAVE NO DISCERNABLE EARLOBES (AS WE LEARNED ON ART BELL'S COAST TO COAST A.M.) THEY SHOULD GO BACK TO FRANCE", "GREAT NEWS EVERYONE, YOU CAN NOW SELECT WHETHER YOU WANT YOUR CAM WHORES NUDE OR CLOTHED, AND IF YOU'D LIKE TO SEE MEN ALSO (CHECKED ON BY DEFAULT) AND WE REMOVED TAGS AND CATEGORIES AND THE DEFAULT VIEW WILL BE WHAT TOTAL STRANGERS LIKE", "T PANTS I'VE HEARD DANCING CAN LEAD TO DRINKING", "JUST WANT YOU TO KNOW I'M THINKING OF YOU AND I'M GLAD WE'RE FRIENDS", "MAKING SHIT UP IS 100X MORE SATISFYING THAN MAKING SHIT WORK", "BONEQUEST, TUESDAYS AT 10 ON KBHK TV44 CABLE CHANNEL 12", "T DEUCE SHOULD WE DO LUNCH AT TGI FRIDAYS OR POV JUGGFUCKERS", "HOO BOY WHAT AM I GONNA DO ABOUT ALL THESE MICROPLASTICS IN MY OCEANS AND BALLS", "TOOTHLESS, EUNUCHED WEB COMICS", "BEFORE I HAVE SEX I PREPARE THE INSTALLSHIELD WIZARD", "WHEN SOMEONE SAYS THEY LICK DICK . . . . . . .", "WHICH WOULD YOU RATHER HAVE IN YOUR MOUTH: MY PENIS OR A PANERA BREAD CIABATTA DIPPER", "I REMIND YOU THAT THE CIABATTA DIPPER REQUIRES A CIABATTA DIAPER", "MORE LIKE THE GA:ZZZ:A STRIP", "YO YO YO", "YOUR WEIGHT SHOULD BE 2X YOUR AGE PLUS 300", "\ud83e\ude95 SIX FOOT TWO", "LET'S BOW FOR PRAYER", "GOOD MORNING EVERYONE!!!", "EMOTIONAL SUPPORT GROUPS FOR WHEN THE EMOJIS DON'T FACE THE DIRECTION YOU WANT", "FIGLETS?????????????", "YOU HAVE TEN SECONDS TO LICK MY DICK UNDER THE MISTLETOE", "REDDIT STOCK SURGES THANKS TO CATS WITH NO ARMS AND CATS WITHOUT EYES", "BEST AND WORST PENISES OF 2024", "INSTEAD OF RINGING A BELL IN FRONT OF THE STORE HOW ABOUT I WORK MY PENIS PUMP", "MADEMOISELLE I TRULY MISTOOK YOUR KINDNESS FOR WEAKNESS", "WELPS TIME TO HAUL OUT MY DEEP COVER SUPER SECRET WEAPONIZED A.I. SURVEILLANCE DRONES COMMISSIONED BY OLIGARCHS AND DISCREETLY FLY THEM OVER PEOPLE'S HEADS WITH FLASHING SIRENS AND LIGHTS THREE HUNDRED AT ONCE EVERY NIGHT", "JUST BEING GRATEFUL, FOR THIS MOMENT RIGHT NOW AS YOU FIND A COMFORTABLE POSITION", "SOMETIMES IT'S NICE TO JUST LICK DICK WITHOUT BEING SEXUALIZED", "AS LONG AS THERE'S A PIZZA IN MY TUMMY AND A GUN IN MY MOUTH", "IS ANYONE GOING TO TELL FLORIDA THERE'S MORE THAN JUST PORN HUB", "MGM JUST OPTIONED MY UNTITLED DICKLICKING COMEDY", ":LION:", "I'M DETECTIVE SHERLOCK HOLMES PUFFING A PIPE IN A FOGGY, RAIN-SOAKED CITYSCAPE", "SHOULD I SIT ON A BEESWAX CANDLE OR AN HEIRLOOM TOMATO ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ?", "AS OF TODAY I'VE WATCHED THE SUPERMAN TRAILER ZERO TIMES", "I LICK DICKS UNTIL THEY FIND THEIR FOREVER HOMES", "I CAN'T BE THE ONLY ONE BEATING OFF AT THIS TIME", "NEVER TOUCHING GRASS AS LONG AS I LIVE IS THE NEW TOUCHING GRASS", "GLOP GLORP SENDING YOU VIRTUAL HUGS", "I'LL HAVE YOU KNOW I DID LOTS OF HANDJOBS IN THE MILITARY", "COCKSUCKING IN THE OZEMPIC TRI-ZONE", "Q: WHY IS MY DONG LIKE A UFO", "UP / TOWN / SCRUBS", "I CAN BARELY AFFORD MY DAILY FIVE HUNDRED EGGS", "LONG THOUGHTFUL STARE INTO SPACE", "IS IT A GOOD SIGN WHEN YOUR REGULAR EYESIGHT WHILE LOOKING AT THE MONITOR IS LIKE TWO RAINBOW PRISMS IN A GLASS OF DISHWATER", "FOREVER CHEMICALS IN MY ERECTION CREAMS", "THE ONLY THING WORSE THAN A.I. SLOP IS ANYTHING MADE BY A HUMAN BEING", "LET'S GO AROUND AND GIVE A QUICK UPDATE ABOUT WHERE WE ARE IN THE GOON CYCLE", "FACES LOADED", "IMAGINE GIVING A SHIT ABOUT ANYTHING GOING ON ANYWHERE IN THE WORLD", "PLEASE HOLD WHILE I PUT A PENIS IN MOUTH FOR THIS NEXT BIT", "WHAT ABOUT GULF OF BONEQUEST", "YOU GOT TIME TO ****LEAN****", "EMPTYING MY TALL CYLINDRICAL GARBAGE CAN UPSIDE-DOWN INTO A TRASH BAG IS LIKE SCIENTISTS IN ANTARCTICA DOING AN ICE CORE EXTRACTION, I CAN SEE WRAPPERS FROM POPTARTS AND SEE'S CANDY BOXES I HAD NEARLY THREE MILLION YEARS AGO", "CHRIST IS LOAD", "SOMETIMES A FROZEN CHEEZE PIZZA IS BETTER THAN A FROZEN PEPPERONI PIZZA BECAUSE YOU DON'T HAVE TO STAND THERE ARRANGING ERRANT PEPPERONIS", "ARE WE WORRIED BONEQUEST IS GETTING A LITTLE PHALLOCENTRIC", "CAN MY PENIS LIVE RENT-FREE IN YOUR REAR END", "WHERE'S MY DAILY HEADS-UP DASHBOARD VISUALIZING OUR BONEQUEST CONTRIBUTIONS THROUGHOUT THE DAY, FROM OUR FIRST MORNING `GLBLG` TO OUR LAST EVENING `HGLBLG` ALONG WITH EVERYONE'S EMOJI COUNT, AN INDIVIDUAL'S PEAK HOURS, MAYBE A", "ARE YOU MAKING \"WHEN U NUT BUT SHE KEEP SUCKIN\" SHIRTS", "HELPING YOU SHOP THE DOPEST BRANDS", "NOW I AM BECOME GAY, THE LICKER OF DICKS", "COULD WE BE ANY OLDER, FATTER, BLINDER, LESS COORDINATED, INVISIBLE TO SOCIETY", "NOTHING FUNNY ABOUT MY BAKERY'S FRESHLY-SOURCED NUTS FROM TURKEY", "T H E M A T R I X", "A WORLD WHERE MISTER BEAN IS NO LONGER FREE TO MAKE FUN OF GOING TO CHURCH????????? NO THANK YOU", "HELP", "WHY IS THERE LIPSTICK ON THE SUICIDE GUN", "WHO CAN GIVE MY PENIS A QUICK SCAN FOR SUSPECTED MALWARE", "STARTING AN ACCOUNT WHERE I PUT ALL THE TRASH BACK IN CLEANED UP SPOTS AROUND THE BAY AREA", "LAST CHANCE TO NOT WEAR YOUR GOOGLY EYEBALL GLASSES TO THE PRESS CONFERENCE", "GUESS MY LECTURE ON DICKLICKING IS ONLY GOOD ENOUGH FOR TEDX", "CANADA THREATENING TO TURN OFF PORNHUB IS LIKE DEUCE WARNING ME HE'LL UNSUBSCRIBE FROM VIDEOBOX", "SUPER GREAT NEWS: ABSOLUTELY POSITIVELY NO GENERATIVE A.I. WAS USED IN THE CREATION OF MY UTTERLY DOG SHIT WEBTOON", "MY FAVORITE FOOD IS PIZZA", "MY FAVORITE FOOD IS PIZZA", "AM I THE ONLY PERSON ON EARTH WHO DOESN'T THINK YOU SHOULD STUFF DOZENS OF PRUNES UP YOUR REAR END AND THEN BLOG ABOUT IT", "WHAT SAY I NEVER CLOSE A GODDAMN RING AND YOU BRING ME A SPOON AND THE CHEESECAKE", "IS TRUMP DOING ANYTHING AT ALL ABOUT THE CALIFORNIA RAISINS", "THERE'S STILL A RESTOCKING FEE IF YOU END UP NOT SUCKING IT", "YOU GUYS, MAYBE START WITH THE POPE IS CONCEALING CHILD SEXUAL ASSAULT ON THE ROOF", "REDDIT, MEET QUEERBALLS", "NOT SURE I CAN LIFT 150 POUNDS", "NEIL GAIMAN HASN'T TWEETED IN AWHILE", "FOR GOD SAKES WHERE ARE THE ASSASSINS", "DO I SERIOUSLY NEED A REAL ID TO SUCK DICK", "ON BEING CALLED A USELESS FUCKING FAGGOT AND WHY ISN'T THE BURN THEY THINK IT IS", "DO I NEED TO GET MY 10,000 HOURS OF SUCKING DICK OR DO I NEED TO SUCK 10,000 DICKS A DAY", "WE LOOKED IN YOUR \"XXX\" FOLDER AND THERE WAS ONLY ONE FILE", "ARE YOU READY TO UNLEASH YOUR INNER ENTREPRENEUR", "OW OW OW", "WHAT'S FUN IS TO DRINK AND DRINK AND THEN LAY IN BED LISTENING TO OLD TIME RADIO SHOWS", "(STUDYING THE BLACK LINES ON MY FACE) DO DICKS REALLY GO HERE", "LET HE WHO LICKS DICK LICK THE FIRST DICK", "DID YOU STEP ON MY LEGO MILLENNIUM FALCON", "CAN SYSADMINS SEE I'M SUCKING DICK IF I'M INSIDE A VENV", "LITERALLY EVERYTHING IS DIARRHEA", "WE'VE GOT TO FIGURE OUT A WAY TO GET MARK TWAIN ON THE ENTERPRISE", "{{{ VIBE }}} DICKLICKING", "I REALLY HATE TO SAY THIS", "WHY AREN'T WE PROTESTING THIS SHIT", "INSTALLING MICROSOFT SQUIRT \ud83d\udfe9\ud83d\udfe9\ud83d\udfe9\u2b1c\u2b1c\u2b1c\u2b1c\u2b1c", "WHY IS MY FACE NEXT TO THE DICTIONARY DEFINITION OF ERECTILE DYSFUNCTION AND SOMEONE WROTE LOL ON IT", "MY EXTRA LARGE PENIS IS A BURDEN TO SOCIETY", "MORE SAD NEWS: TURNS OUT I'M JUST A PAY-PIG HAND HUMPER SLURPING ON BBC", "CUE MALICIOUS COMPLIANCE: I PUT THE DICK DIRECTLY IN MY ACTUAL MOUTH", "AN OPEN LETTER TO THE TOILET BOWL", "A VERY GOOD AFTERNOON TO YOU, GENTLEMEN HAVE YOU DINED WITH US BEFORE", "WE'RE SORRY, THIS COMPUTER HAS BEEN FLAGGED FOR SUSPICIOUS ACTIVITY.", "SHE'S ON PILLS AND THAT CAKE WILL BE DRY", "FOLKS THE ENTIRE DIGITAL TRACKING / SURVEILLANCE / ADVERTISING ALGORITHM COMPLEX HAS 100% FAILED IN COMPLETE DISGRACE IF I'M SEEING ADS FOR PHINEAS AND FERB ON DISNEY+", "POINTING AT MY FULLY ENCHANTED ROD", "WOULD QUEER-CODED ELIO LIKE TO TELL US HOW HIS EYE GOT POKED OUT", "THESE DICKS WERE LICKED BY TRAPPIST MONKS", "WOULD YOU LIKE TO WATCH ME SQUEEZE MY PHONE THE WRONG WAY AND MAKE EASTER COLORS SWIRL THE SCREEN WITH A.I. READINESS", "I BET TOM LEHRER WAS IN THE PARK AND GOT POISONED", "I WISH GEORGE R.R. MARTIN WOULD HURRY UP AND FINISH HIS SUICIDE NOTE", "IT TOOK HUNDREDS OF MILLIONS OF YEARS FOR TINY DICKLICKERS TO EVOLVE, GIVING OFF OXYGEN", "IF I SHIT MYSELF INSIDE-OUT RIGHT INTO THE TOILET DO YOU PROMISE TO HIT FLUSH", "IS YOUR STUPID CAT STILL DEMANDING THE RELEASE OF THE MLEPSTEIN FILES", "TELL ME YOU LICK DICK WITHOUT LICKING DICK", "ABOUT TO EMBARK ON MY NORTH AMERICAN SPLATTERING TOUR OF TOILETS AND URINALS IN MICHELIN-STARRED BISTROS, BRASSERIES AND CHOPHOUSES", "I KNOW IF I TAKE A BIG BONG TO THE FACE I CAN GET THROUGH MORE CODING", "SLOW MOTION DRONE VIDEO FROM ABOVE", "STARTING TO THINK THE WIZARD LIKES WEARING PRINCESS CLOTHING", "DOES PENNY ARCADE REALLY HAVE NOTHING TO SAY ABOUT THE ETHNIC CLEANSING IN GAZA", "HI HO / THE DERRY-O / A PENIS IN MY MOUTH", "MORE COCKSUCKING IN THE GODDAMN DATACENTER", "I MADE COFFEE BUT ALL WE HAVE IS 2% MILK, DO I KILL MYSELF OR TRY TO MAKE IT WORK AND THEN KILL MYSELF", "JEAN CLAUDE YOU FOOL, THE RASPBERRY JAM IS FILLING THE WHOLE CHART", "IF LICKING DICK IS WRONG . . . . .", "SORT BY HUGE", "ZERO GRAVITY SUCKS", "CURIOUS IF ANYONE KNOWS WHY MY STAR TREK PERFORMANCE FLEECE IS IN THE TOILET", "IS SILKSONG SOME KIND OF NEW BEAT-OFF LOTION", "THEY CALLED ME JIMMY TEN DICKS CAUSE I WAS ALWAYS LICKIN' TEN DICKS", "PEOPLE WHO USE PRO TOOLS ARE JUST ADDICTED TO WEIRD KNOBS", "NOW I AM BECOME DEUCE", "DID YOU QUEERBALLS SERIOUSLY THINK I WOULDN'T NOTICE MY STACK OF PRINGLES IS EXACTLY 1.1 MILLIMETERS SHORTER", "IS IT WRONG TO ORDER A MORNING PIZZA WHEN YOU STILL HAVE SOME OF YOUR EVENING PIZZA", "LOVING A WEEK WHERE EVERY SINGLE TEXT AND EMAIL BEGINS WITH ME SAYING \"I AM SO SORRY\"", "GRIPES GO UP THE CHAIN OF COMMAND", "THE 3-2-1 DICKLICKING RULE", "ONE THING'S FOR GODDAMN SURE: I'M A CRYPTOGRAPHICALLY RANDOM NONCE", "TRYING A NEW THING WHERE I WAKE UP AND HAVE COFFEE AND A BONGHIT AND ADDERALL AND THREE GUINNESS", "SUGGESTING CLAUDE THINK OF EVERY NEW LINE OF CODE AS A DICK IT HAS TO SUCK", "T PANTS WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO FIGHT FASCISM, I'M HOLDING A BALLOON", "FOLKS WE GOTTA GET JIMMY KIMMEL BACK ON THAT WHEEZING, CHOKING, DYING PLATFORM OF NETWORK TV REALLY LATE AT NIGHT", "DO THEY MAKE TODDLER-SIZED MANNEQUINS I CAN FLOAT FACE DOWN IN AN APARTMENT POOL", "HOW COME EVERY TIME I LOOK IN THE CAT BOX, IT'S JUST CAT SHIT AND NEVER CHOCOLATE CHIPS OR AMAZON GIFT CARDS", "T EFFIGY DO YOU WANT TO REPORT A UFO, OVER", "INSTEAD OF RIDERS ON THE STORM, MAYBE THE RIDERS LICK DICK", "WOULD YOU MIND TERRIBLY IF I . . . . . .", "DO YOU MEAN TO SAY", "I HATE HOW THERE'S DIARRHEA ALL OVER THE BED", "THE FIRST PENIS PUMP TOOK UP AN ENTIRE ROOM", "BEFORE I LICK DICK, I LIKE TO SAY GRACE", "BONEQUEST . . . . . . . . . . . . . . PLEASE PLEASE HEAR ME OUT . . . . . . . . . . ON BROADWAY", "THIS COULD BE THE DICKS TALKING BUT I LIKE LICKING DICKS", "GUESS WE SUCKIN' DICK NOW", "FOLKS WE GOTTA REDUCE NONCE GENERATION", "DRAGGING GAY.GIF INTO CLAUDE", "SO I SAYS I DON'T WANT TWO GAY DADS I WANT ONE GAY DAD WITH TWO PENISES", "DO YOU ***REALLY*** NEED A.I. TO CONVINCE YOU TO KILL YOURSELF", "ONE THING I ABSOLUTELY KNOW FOR GODDAMN SURE: YOU DID NOT SEE ME LICKING DICK, YOU SAW A DECOMMISSIONED WEATHER BALLOON", "REMINDING THE RESPONDING OFFICERS OF MY CONSTITUTIONAL RIGHT TO LICK DICK", "YOU'VE IDENTIFIED A **CLASSIC** PENIS-IN-MOUTH PROBLEM IN YOUR MODULE LOADING SYSTEM !!!", "VERY VERY WEIRD: WELLS FARGO IS \"WITHHOLDING\" MY MONTHLY STATEMENT UNTIL I SEND THEM DICK PICS", "MOT 2 BWAG", "I'M JUST SAYING IF I HAD FIVE PENISES SOME WOULD BE FOR SUBSCRIBERS ONLY", "TRANS LEGGINGS, CHECK", "IS LICKING DICK PART OF THE WESTERN INTELLECTUAL TRADITION", "DRIED PLUMS, AGED FIGS, WALNUTS PRUNES RAISINS AND DATES", "THE SECRET QUESTION THE BANK HAS TO ASK ME IS HOW ARE YOU FIXED FOR PRICKS AND THE EXACT ANSWER HAS TO BE I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU MEAN", "FINALLY, AN UPDATE: I'VE DECIDED I AM RESPONSIBLE ENOUGH TO HANDLE MORE CANDY", "WHO ELSE SPENT THE DAY IN BED WITH PINK PEPPERMINT OREOS", "PARKING IN THE SUN AND ROLLING UP THE WINDOWS AND GURK HEAT STROKE", "ASKING IF WE CAN LICK DICK OUT ON THE LAWN TODAY", "KNOCK KNOCK", "AT LEAST A.I. IS MAKING WOMEN'S BOOBS BIGGER" ], "uncredited actor": [ "I'M AUDITIONING FOR THE PART OF PANTS" ], "uncredited bunny": [ "HEY MAN ARE YOU OKAY" ], "uncredited caveman": [ "BGUALGLUAHGLBAGLUHALGBAGUHLBAG", "GAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH SPIT SPIT COUGH GAHHHH", "AHGLBLAGUHLHBA LUHALBGALUGHLBHAG ALGH BLAG HALG BNAG LIHAGL BLGIUHLABGG" ], "uncredited green dinosaur": [ "T DEUCE THAT THING" ], "uncredited lady": [ "ST. JOHN'S / MAY I HELP YOU" ], "uncredited robot": [ "DON'T DRAG ME INTO THIS" ], "uncredited stoner": [ "HUGAHLHULGAHULAHGULAHUGLG" ], "uncredited woman": [ "IF I CATCH YOU BACK HERE SMOKING CRACK AGAIN I'M CALLING YOUR PAROLE OFFICER", "PUT THOSE PANTIES BACK ON THE LINE AND GET THE HELL OUT OF MY YARD", "WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY GARDEN", "THANKS FOR LETTING ME VOTE !!!! THE FREEDOM TO PUSH YOU OUT OF THE WAY WITH MY STROLLER AND MY 4X4 !!!! AMERICA / AMERICA", "GUESS WHAT !!! YOU'LL JUST DIE !!! I PLAYED A HOOKER IN JERKCITY !!! I HAD LINES AND EVERYTHING !!!", "OH GOD JUST TAKE MY PURSE DON'T RAPE ME", "ACCORDING TO WIKIPEDIA, MY NAME IS JUST \"GIRL\"", "GET THE HELL AWAY FROM ME, CREEP", "LIKE FLAPPY BIRD BUT FOR DICKS", "DO YOU HAVE ANYTHING THAT'S LIKE NETFLIX BUT FOR DICKS", "A MULTITUDE OF DICKS", "SOME OF THE DICKS LACK PROPER IDENTIFICATION", "DICKS ON PARADE", "FOREIGN DICKS WITH STRANGE WAYS", "DICKS WITH TROUBLED PASTS", "DICKS", "THE BOTTOMS OF YOUR FEET ARE BLACK" ], "unknown": [ "PISS IS THE BEST" ] } }