Many a time it has struck me, when thinking about my past that the “me” in the past is a different person. How could I, the present grown up woman, be the same person as that child in those old school photos, or that naïve teenager whose thoughts I am reading in that old diary? The everyday thoughts and experiences of that child, that teenager are no longer fresh in my mind, making those versions of me appear to me as different people. But at the same time, I can still have strong reactions to past incidents. I am aware that the conscious and subconscious memories of my past experiences and actions have to a large extent help shape the person I am today. Would I still be “me” if my memories fade away?
Read More »The heartbroken, angry Indian male – Part II
[For Part I click here]
In part I of this article, I described how I started the quest and obtained keen insights into the anger issues of the heartbroken Indian (movie) male and strategies to manage them, with the help of renowned anger management expert Dr. Ma-fury Fixit. I have already illustrated the behavioural, chronic, judgemental and overwhelmed angers and strategies to manage them. I will now continue with other types.
The heartbroken, angry Indian male – Part I
Recently YouTube recommended a song, the setting of which had me intrigued. A glamorous Kamini Kaushal wearing a multi-storeyed hair nest, an alluring Aparna Sen sashaying around, and a juvenile Jeetendra trying valiantly to emote and singing of his broken heart. What was happening here? Was Jeetendra moping about losing Kamini Kaushal’s love? Or was Aparna Sen the love interest, who had maybe left him for the richer and better looking Kamini Kaushal?
Knowing it couldn’t end well, I still went ahead and watched the movie around this song. And… it didn’t. End well for me, that is. Kamini Kaushal was playing Jeetendra’s estranged mother [seriously!], who had left his father to make her own money [oh, the sheer audacity!]. And as if that wasn’t enough, she now wanted him to marry her ward (Aparna Sen), whom he was already in love with, and come live with them. Oh the sheer gall of that woman! But our Bhartiya Jumping Jack might be poor in sense (and money) but definitely not in sensitivity. No ma’am! He was an Indian Male and he would rather reject the woman he loved than accept such an offer of money and home. And not only did he reject the woman he loved, he also became publicly angry about how she had broken his heart!
I guess, I had only myself to blame for the torture I had exposed myself to. But it didn’t stop a wave of annoyance and anger rising in me at the many anger issues of the Indian (movie) males. But after a while, when I had cooled down a bit, I started wondering. What if all these outbursts were just a cry for help? Maybe if our heartbroken, angry Indian males could get some help, they might grow out of their juvenile behaviour and live, and let others live, a more fulfilling life?
Thus began my quest for answers, which brought me in contact with renowned anger management expert Dr. Ma-fury Fixit. With the help of Dr. Fixit, and months of research on this topic, I have not only understood the different types of anger our heartbroken Indian (movie) males suffer from, but have also thought of strategies to help them. I am now keen to share my reel and real insights with readers of this blog, in this two-part article on the anger issues of the heartbroken Indian males.
Sun, shade and muddled metaphors
Metaphors add such flourish to the language. Your love could be your “anchor in stormy seas”, without being made of a ton of galvanised steel, you could promise to get “the moon and the stars” for them, without having a subscription to Elon Musk’s Space X program, or they could “take a room in your heart”, without worrying about the nitty-gritty of size, blood flow, or immune reactions. But beware of the muddled metaphors. The ones that are prone to seasonal and geographical shifts. While in the relentless heat of the Indian summer, you could fall in love with someone who “brings shade in your life”, telling someone used to the colder northern European climates, which is now my home, that you’ll “keep them away from the sun”, can be the end of your love story even before it starts!
As I sit here, mourning the end of summer, and wishing for more sunny days, my mind contrarily turns to the numerous Hindi film songs that use the metaphor of shade from the relentless, scorching sun to mean love and care. The kind of metaphors that are alien to Dutch or English songs!
Teri baaton mein aisa uljha jiya (2024): AI in a patriarchal world
In the last decades technological advancements have revolutionized the way we experience this world. Soon, we are told, artificial intelligence (AI) will take over the world and “intelligent” robots can even become a part of our family and friend circle! But ultimately the use of all technology is in human hands, guided by the prevalent social norms. And the recent Bollywood comedy Teri Baton Mein Aisa Uljha Jiya (TBMAUJ), has unwittingly, but forcefully, reminded me how tragic such a technological advancement might look like in the Indian society, which remains shrouded in regressive patriarchal norms.
Masala Punch 