| CARVIEW |
To all Blacktina Chronicles followers we’ve moved over to https://theblacktinachronicles.blogspot.com/. Hope you continue reading and enjoying the Blacktina perspective. Whether you agree or disagree, it’s all about us having perspective, sharing and at times convincing others!
Peace Out,
Blacktina
The death of Whitney Houston has affected many in different ways. Some of us knew how abusive her habit had become while some of us thought it best to remain in denial and hope this woman of tremendous talent will overcome the demons in her life. I’m sure many of us felt can we just get one more Natalie Cole. While many ponder the triumphs and trials of Ms. Houston I need to express what she meant to my generation and why we the teenagers of the 80s have taken her death quite personally.
Being a teenager of the 80s obviously means I was a child of the 70s. Growing up in the 70s meant you came from a musical family. No we weren’t the Jacksons, but know this every household had some type of music going. Remember we didn’t have the internet or video games, all we had was our company and music to get that company going. Throughout my childhood I watched the adults in my life sing along to some of the greatest music. My mother often imitated Aretha Franklin as she sung Day Dreaming. My father swore he was Al Green; and you couldn’t say anything to my uncle who we called Big Johnny anything about Gladys Knight and the Midnight Train to Georgia. All of the kids in my family can recite any of these lyrics and reminisce about our parents, aunts and uncles who are now in their 70s and have an appreciation of how they loved their music. The music was loved not just for the lyrical content or the orchestration but the voices. The voices were pure, some were gritty, but most of all they were flawless.
As I became a pre-teen rap started to dominate the music scene. Loving the Sugar Hill Gang’s Rappers Delight or Apache and Flash and the Furious Five’s Freedom or the Message this had become the staple of our great music. It was all about the beats, rapping, the streets how hard can you act. Then something amazing happened around 1984 as I was listening to the radio I heard a song called You Give Good Love to Me, the vocals were precious, the song was infectious. I hummed that song all day long and couldn’t wait to hear it again. Mind you we didn’t have iTunes there was no simple download, I didn’t even know who sang the song. As it began getting air play I found out the singer was a new girl named Whitney Houston. I then heard a second song of her’s titled Saving All My Love for You. Now just think this is 1984, Bronx, NY, Walton High School some of the hardest kids in the city of New York and we’re all singing songs by this new singer Whitney Houston. We were finally able to see her on TV and she was glamourous. To my generation Whitney was the equivalent of the greatest similar to what our parents saw in Aretha, Gladys and Diana. Whitney was these three greats wrapped up in one!
For some of us Whitney was just not this fallen pop star. She brought substantive music to my generation. Prior to Whitney we had rap as our sole music. This is not to discredit rap but it’s unfair for anybody to only experience one musical genre. Whitney let us appreciate music, she gave us the feelings our parents had and up to that time this was something we could only imitate.
While there is no denial the path Ms. Houston took led to her untimely demise, there’s a generation that will forever remember Whitney and thank her for clearing our ears allowing us to hear real music, flawless vocals and infectious passionate lyrics. You rest in peace Ms. Houston for your contribution to the lives of many have afforded the eternal peace you so deserve.
There should be no time like the present in which we people of color should be excited about ruling (i.e. running the show, leading a department, heading up a team, etc.). After all we do have a black President what better example to set that we can do it all. Yet the question nags at me like a bad mosquito bite, can we really do it all? Can we rule effectively? Can we keep our color or better yet their color out of the way?
The past 20 years or so Corporate America has been a harbor of colonial racism. It is clear that most corporate leaders are still white males and most people of color are still working their way up, whether from the mailroom, secretary, to a “team lead” (which seems to be new buzz word replacing Manager or Supervisor). However, tides are changing a bit where we are seeing people of color rise even further and running the show. Look at Herman Cain, despite his ridiculous attempt to run President, let us not forget he was CEO of Godfather Pizza. As we start to move our way up and begin to rule, there are clearly some issues that still reside with color and for once I will not be writing about injustice on people of color, but how about some of us just lose our damm minds when get to the top of that hill!
In the trenches of contracting I come across many interesting people. The latest of this long line of interest is my current boss. She’s around 10 years younger than me, African American, bright, no-nonsense, a huge go-getter, basically she makes Momma proud. However, she has problems running our team or should I say managing the “white folks”. To best describe her actions I’ll lay out an actual scenario between Blacktina, Boss Lady and a “Heather”
Boss Lady – Blacktina you NEED to complete your project
Blacktina – My project is complete
Boss Lady – Heather where do you stand with your project
Heather – I’ve been so busy with such and such and I didn’t have the time to finish (Background, project was given on a Thursday with a completion date the following Friday; it is now the following Wednesday. Heather had a week plus 2 days to complete)
Boss Lady – Blacktina since you’re done I want you to take some of Heather’s components and wrap it up.
At this point Blacktina is doing the Scooby Doo screech like “huh”. First of all my workload is just as heavy if not more. I was given the same deadline, the same amount of work, yet because of the severity I worked over the weekend to complete this and make sure it was done. Not one did Boss Lady say, great job Blacktina for completing. All she did was look at the fact that I was done and gave me “Heather’s” work. Now it could be me but I thought I was being penalized for being efficient. Yet I understand Boss Lady is trying to manage an initiative and make sure it gets done, however, she wasn’t managing her employees properly. Not once was Heather told she must complete her project. Notice my conversation started with “Blacktina you NEED to complete your project” Heather was asked, “where does she stand”, clearly two different approaches to the same topic.
Some may think I might have been a bit sensitive, however, this isn’t the only the incident. There have been other incidents in which the white people are clearly out of line with their responses, similar to what President Obama goes through with Congress. My white colleagues will go off on Boss Lady without hesitation. One actually called her a liar on a conference call, (very Republican like, hmmm…..). And almost like President Obama my boss did not defend herself she just pleaded for a chance to clarify. Yet if one of us speaks up it’s met with a boss who all of a sudden knows how to rule. These actions have not gone unnoticed, as there clearly is chatter within the plantation among the folks and her comparison to that of a field slave who was promoted to overseer and will do anything to please Massa. Except in this case she’s Massa and she shouldn’t have to work so damm hard on pleasing those of Massa’s color!
Corporate America should have a therapist on hand all the time. Being a person of color we have to deal so many varieties of shit. First from the “others” who don’t know how to treat us and then unfortunately from our own selves! It’s quite sad that some of us in charge feel we can’t exercise equality. We can’t be fair to our own people without being labeled as “looking out” for our own. Yet white people do it all the time it’s called “networking”. They look out for each other and don’t think twice about it. Please don’t get me wrong I’m not saying hook me up cause I’m black. I’m saying give me a fair chance like you do the others. It’s bad enough I have to deal with this new form of secretive racism but it’s even more of a shame that I have to deal with inner racism.
Keep ya head up folks!
Peace Out,
Blacktina
Aw the beauty of racial inclusion! We have black and white marriages all over America and although a personal taboo to some it is more a societal proscription to be outraged and outspoken against interracial coupling. So with “all this love” (Debarge theme), how are we as individuals who interact with half of these spouses affected as it pertains to our everyday life in corporate America?
Whenever I meet a white woman who is clearly proud of her black husband and bi-racial children as evidenced by the pictures on her cubicle’s wall of fame, the first thing I assume is “she must be cool” or “she must be down”. I am here to tell you in the words of Felix Unger from the Odd Couple, never assume, cause you make an Ass out of U and Me! No mantra has even been proven more correctly as it is in this situation. My experiences with white women who are married to black men have been disappointing and downright frustrating. The very idea of them being cool is trumped by their stares, condensing tones, and their unfriendliness.
I consider myself a woman of thick skin and have no problems if someone doesn’t want to befriend me. But in my encounters with these particular white women the disdain of friendliness towards me was so obvious you could almost see smoke coming out their ears each time they had to approach me. Another factor that has troubled me were the stares. The stares are clearly not of admiration and they’re also not in the “this chick is ghetto look” category, cause I’m not but more like I hate you, why do you exist stare! And the tone when asking me a question or responding to a request, it’s almost as if they worked on rehearsing shooting me down or work real hard at embarrassing me; but because I know my shit they always seem to fail! Now I know I’m generalizing and some of this may sound trivial like I could of caused something but trust me I didn’t. What I do know that although interracial coupling is widely accepted there’s something going on internally within these relationships that’s causing these Heathers’ who are married to Tyrones’ to lose their damm minds when it comes to Sistahs!
Well fortunately I may have one of the answers and guess what it’s all about Tyrone! Almost like the Tyrone in Eryka Badu’s famous song. Tyrone can be trifling and can’t handle a Sistah! Yeah I know we heard these excuses before but hear me out. It is typically known that brothers who fall for Snow White do so cause they can’t handle strong black women. Even if a brother tells you that’s bullshit, you tell him no “you’re Bull Shit” cause it’s true. Your mama is a Sistah, your sister is a Sistah, your Big Momma is a Sistah and you get with a Heather, why??? The “why” is because Heather will take your shit, make you feel like Mandingo all the time, but more importantly Tyrone will treat Heather like gold or better yet his white diamond! But have we ever asked ourselves what does Tyrone tell Heather about why he doesn’t date black women? Before I go on I would like to say I know some Tyrones’ who are married to Heathers’ and still love their black women but out of pure LOVE married their Heather; and I’m not mad at you. However, these numbers are very low compared to the typical Tyrone. Now back to what Tyrone tells Heather; have we ever thought if Tyrone has such a low perception of us, what does he tell his wife???
While working with the last “Heather” I had the accidental privilege of meeting her Tyrone. First of all he looked like Magilla Gorilla, yes I know we shouldn’t compare our peeps to primates, but trust me he had a striking resemblance. When I met Magilla oops I mean Tyrone, he was aloof, somewhat rude, and had none of the brotha to sistah connections we kind of share. What made it worst is this Tyrone was from the Bronx my hometown and not from uppity Bronx like Riverdale, nope, straight hood like yours truly. His treatment of me confirmed 1) Tyrone truly has problems being in relationship of any manner with a woman who shares his same racial makeup and 2) the manner in which he treated me was the same way his wife treated me, hmmm…..could it be that Tyrone tells Heather we are trifling, don’t trust us, we’re abrasive therefore she has to be rude with sistahs. In other words, what the hell is Tyrone feeding Heather for her treat her black subordinates or counter parts in certain ways? Whatever it is Heather needs to chill. One day Heather is going to push too far and find out what abrasive really means and in hood terms that means busting your ass. Never underestimate a Sistah, some of us will still meet you at your car for the infamous beat down, LOL. OK, I’m digressing and I don’t want to prove Tyrone right. However, it’s incredible to me that our relationships with white women who marry black men are so troubled.
For a quick minute I also thought of another aspect as to why Heather could be upset with us and it could be dare I say US! You know how we do; we see a brotha with a white girl and the stares and snickering will ensue. So maybe Heather is on her guard and treats us all the same. However, if that is so then isn’t Heather stereotyping all of us without judging us individually?? But hey isn’t that what racism is, grouping and treating us as one.
Regardless of the excuses/reasoning I have learned that when I come across the Heather/Tyrone mix to stay on my guard. Let me see where Heather is going with this. I’m not sure if she’s been tainted by Tyrone or scarred by Sistahs. Whatever it is I’ll remain neutral for the protection of both our lives :). If any Heather’s are reading this, first of all let me apologize for calling you Heather, that seems to be stapled name in your race, but if you are reading this, don’t take away any of the insults, take away with you that we shouldn’t be judged collectively regardless of what your man has told you. Treat us individually and you may get a new BFF. And hey if we act shady towards you then do what you do and throw shade right back but don’t and please DON’T just ASSUME we’re all the same regardless of what you hear or see!
Peace Out,
Blacktina
I find it hilarious when in actuality I should find it annoying when someone always tries to have something on you. Of course ladies and gents you know what I’m talking about and as you are most aware of being a person of color we forever have our guard up! As much as I wanted a new gig or as I like to call it a place where I can gossip about I’m still surprised at how much of the same old shit happens in a new place. The only difference is the players not to be confused with playas. The ensemble cast at this place is amusing to say the least, what I’m most surprised at is what they thought they “had” on me. Just when you think you’ve seen it all! All I can say is get ready for this new dose of ridiculousness.
Being a newbie sometimes feels like an initiation. There are clicks, you have to learn their lingo, you have to learn who’s who, who’s a pain in the ass, who keeps to themselves and who wants to set you up for failure. Personally I think it’s a punk move to hire someone and then do all you can to see them fail, like holding out on communication and then expect that person to know everything as if they had telekinetic powers. The other day I received an email that was part of a chain of emails. The first thing I saw on the email was my name in the body of the message stating I was responsible for fixing a certain problem. First of all I had no idea of the problem. Secondly, I had no idea how to fix anything. And finally I never even heard of the issue. As I was reading the complete email I noticed as time went on the email chain had become a bit heated! I guess to cool it down my name was put out there as the resolution. Shortly thereafter, I directly started receiving emails that I NEED to get on this asap, oh and dare I say they were of the HEATED nature.
In my attempt to try and be a good corporate citizen I reached out to the person who put name as the person in charge of this unfinished task. She informed me that a meeting had taken place and it was decided to give me the task. I explained I knew nothing of it and if someone can get me up to date. After countless emails I didn’t hear a thing!
Here’s the gotcha, I was invited by my boss for the usual status meeting of how I’m doing. At this typical meeting she went on to inform me that 1) I hadn’t completed the task and 2) I seemed tense in my emails regarding the follow up of this task. As I caught my breath and battled with an internal turret syndrome episode, I kindly told her that I have no idea where to begin, I reached out countless times, I even tried to do research and I have yet to receive a response. Her response was Yes I know you didn’t know about the project and no one has contacted you, we’re very busy, but the way we do things around here is by chipping in. She went on further to tell me that my constant follow up emails had taken on a negative tone and that I should learn to include smiley faces!
Again the battle with my inner turret syndrome pursued! As I finally caught calmed down the expletives in my voice and knew OK gurllll now you’re able to speak, I proceeded to break down this bullshit (turret, my bad) she was feeding me. This was so good I had to break it down using a List numbering scenario.
1. Why am I included in rectifying an issue I know nothing about? And only after the fact it has been escalated. Chipping in is fine, I’m all for that but the magnitude of this issue doesn’t require a chipping it requires a pounding of someone who knows what they’re doing. There’s a thin line between chipping in and being thrown under the bus. This scenario does not look like chipping in to me!
2. Again chipping in is fine, with that being said how come there is nobody who can chip in and get me up to speed. Is “chipping in” a one directional initiative at this location?
3. Email tone – I did not include a larger font, bold, caps, red face nothing to indicate yelling. I included the severity of the issue and the importance of the help needed proceeded with Please and followed with Thank you. To include a smiley face would promote an intention of diffusing the situation. Apparently with this being the focus of this meeting it is obviously a great concern, therefore my diffusing the situation would not have helped.
4. How important is the completion of the project to you and your Leadership team? Her response was extremely important. I then replied how come you and your colleagues do not respect the task or the process. If indeed it was respected we wouldn’t be having this conversation. Any other task that has been handed to me has been completed satisfactorily and in record timing. How am I expected to complete something I never even heard of? My final question was, is this a recipe for failure?
One thing you must know about those “other” people is if you throw out 2 key phrases they get nervous as all hell. If you say anything about race or setting me up, they become another person. I swear they must be briefed in their all white meetings on how to deal with a sistah and/or brotha LOL. Anywho when I said this she responded but made it a point of telling me it was “off the record”. She went on to say the group receives 500 to 600 emails a day and that perhaps they didn’t pay attention to mines. I then told her well it’s obvious that you’re paying attention to the situation but I’m perplexed how you’re not paying attention to my diligence in following up. Digressing just a little bit, I just wanted to kiss myself when I said this, but y’all know Blacktina remained calm and let this soak in. She responded by telling me she’s been managing this dept. for 2 years and have whipped them into shape but there’s still more she has to do. I’m here wondering and what does this have to do with me??? She then wanted to conclude the meeting and finished it with just try to be nicer in your emails; a smiley face never hurt anyone. First of all we’re not in Middle School, we’re adults, shit needs to get done, let’s get it done. Who has time to placate someone with a smiley face? You honestly think that’s professional??? (That was inner turret speaking)
Thank goodness this atrocity of a meeting came to an end. I left with the feeling of freak this place! I was so upset that 1) my time was wasted and 2) you think I’m stupid, smh.
The most interesting part of this whole drama was the next morning. Yep peeps there’s a part 2 🙂 The next morning my inbox was flooded with responses from my initial emails regarding the “chipping” in issue. All I could do was crack up. Trust me she will NEVER tell me I was in the right. And trust me it’s not about being right or wrong, it’s about taking advantage, it’s about scapegoating.
One thing about “us” as a people we’ve had our share of being taking advantage of, in all forms at that! The one thing I will not tolerate regardless of what you’re paying me is the smearing of my good name. I come from a line of people that engrained in me the following, “we may not have much but we have our name.” In this lifetime I refuse to allow someone to use my good name accompanied with incompleteness or failure. My drive for passionately addressing this situation was not the right or wrong but the need to prove my worthiness and I am not one with to be messed with. Basically when you come to me come correct as I would do to you!
At the end of this saga I was able to complete my task in my usual efficient manner. I also sent an email thanking everyone for their assistance and even put a smiley face, where it was actually needed! LOL
Peace Out,
Blacktina
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