Just in case this is what it looks like…

(CHOOSING TO BE ON THE SIDE OF OVER-COMPENSATING. WHAT WILL IT HURT??)

f you are scared of war, martial law, social unrest, or other serious disturbance right now, you are not alone, and you’re not crazy. The events we are now seeing daily have all happened before — they were the precursors to the broad sweeping actions that came later, along the path of the Nazi rise to power. It would be unwise and uninformed not to be alarmed right now.

“What can we do?” Folks have asked me. I’ve asked myself too, and here’s what comes to mind.

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Our heroes at the NPS

You want your cash, but keep in mind that a homeowner’s policy will only replace two hundred dollars of cash in a home. There’s always a waterproof fireproof safe, but as we just learned during Hurricane Helene, a safe can float down a landslide or brand new “river” and never be seen again. They also melt after X amount of time with X temperature. So I agree with having cash on hand, but limit how much. Use a credit union, and keep cash in a Safe Dep Box, and in a safe at home. Venmo, etc might seem like great options until you realize they could go bankrupt & there’s no FDIC insurance on your accts, and if there’s no cell service, your money is frozen.

Now, if Elon gives the word, and the skeleton crew of Trump loyalists don’t stand up to him *Together* (as one… no scabs, no deserters), then our SocSec checks, Disability, SSI, could all end abruptly, without warning. What then?

Go read up on Mutual Aid Societies and start building a local one near you. Freecycle. BuyNothing groups.

Make friends with your neighbors. Find your tribe. Identify people who, if things get really bad, they cannot do for themselves, and they’ll need us. If you’re medically fragile, think through the scenarios and decide now what you’ll do if X happens, or Y, or Z. Contact neighbors, family, and friends who will agree to come assist you.

We will need to be able to instantly create a moneyless society to get food, goods, and services immediately (the way western NC just did after Helene, everyone gave *everything* away for free!). Everyone worked for free. Everyone bartered labor, traded, or simply gave away as they were able, and it worked. Then employers started calling everyone back to work, and we all chose to start paying for everything again. Think. Humans existed before money, before Capitalists.

The big preparedness piece is going to be stuff like canned food, shelf-stable milk, dry goods, and medical supplies.

If you have a menstruating uterus in your household (or one who could in the next few years, age 8+), buy PERMANENT washable reusable equipment to handle your lifeblood. There are conical cups and disks, all with various sizes & features. Even if you had to have help using one, for most of us, that’s better than freebleeding. Buy washable cloth period panties and cloth menstrual pads.

If you pee sitting down, invest in the squishy little funnel tools for us to pee standing up.

If you have urine incontinence or organ prolapse, get a pessary from a urologist, or buy the OTC type, rip off the fabric, and you’ll find it is washable, reusable silicone. Buy reusable cloth snap-in pads & panties designed for catching urine & menstrual flow.

Think about ways to be seen (high visibility reflective pullover vests are cheap) if you need to be found, and ways to not be seen (camouflage for your region) if you need to be hidden, not found.

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Think about alternate sources of heat/cooling, power, camp stoves & fuel, grill tops for your firepit. Pocket knives, a poop trowel, and other tools you would need if you had to survive on foot, like thin mylar reflective emergency shelters.

If you like them, you might want to stash away imported things like coffee, tea, chocolate.

Keep the antibiotics you picked up but then the dr called to say it was viral, not bacterial, or that urinalysis didn’t show an infection, etc.

Stocking up on first aid, OTC meds, creams, ointments.

Get the little camping tools like spark-makers to build a fire, other fire starters, lighters, waterproof matches. Dryer lint in a paper egg crate with Vaseline makes great portable tinder if you melt wax over the top to seal it to the egg create; each one will start a fire. Think about portable water purifier systems, as well as the tablets to make any water potable.

Even if you don’t need them, buy as many condoms, OTC birth control pills, Plan B, and mail-order Misoprostol as you can afford to buy. Why? You could save a life. Mifepristone is not required to save a life, but it apparently does make the experience easier. You could get somebody one extra month of bc pills to get them out of an abusive relationship or further down the road toward moving to a state (country?) where it’s legal to control your own body even if you’re female. You could prevent any 8yr old being forced by the govt to gestate her rapist’s child (usually the product of incest). Share info about Mayday .dot health.

The Bills have already been introduced to: a) take personhood rights away from pregnant people and transfer those rights to zygotes, embryos, and fetuses, making abortion federally banned, prosecutable as “murder”; and b) make it “murder” to provide Hospice or Palliative Care to a newborn who is dying.

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Explain to your kids that trans & gay people are not predators, not child molesters, etc. Don’t teach stranger danger or good touch / bad touch. It’s confusing. Teach them about “Tricky People” who do bad things but call it good, who don’t honor boundaries when you tell them NO, who don’t listen when your body language or words show them they’re making you uncomfortable — who are supposed to be people who love you or are close to your family, trusted, but are acting creepy, want to get you alone, or tell you to not to tell other people about the things you do when you’re with them.

They also promised the following court cases will soon be revisited/overturned: a) the right to gay marriage; and b) the right for married couples to access CONTRACEPTION. They even hinted at interracial marriage laws being reviewed.

If you have a partner who is abusive, or you do not want to be married to anymore, especially in a crisis, leave now. File for divorce NOW. If you aren’t old enough to understand what a fight it was to gain the right to a no-fault divorce, look it up, and realize you will SOON NOT BE ALLOWED TO DIVORCE unless very strict criteria are met. They promised this too.

Use the Rule of Law to its fullest while we still HAVE it. Don’t let it go. Prosecute.

If somebody comes to your workplace and demands access to something they shouldn’t, or if you see/hear something, document it, store it in 2+ places, and share that documentation. Then report it. If the chain of command is compromised by loyalists, go up higher or find alternate avenues to pursue the Law objectively.

Remember that China already has access to turning off our entire utility grid. Wasn’t it water, sewer, *and* power? Wash and sterilized empty milk jugs, fill with clean tap water to the top, no air, seal tightly (I’m thinking a ring of hot glue around the top, but maybe overkill), keep stored.

Remove bdays, phone #s, addresses from social media profiles. It might be worth it to see if pseudonyms will fly.

Talk with your family about whether, where, and how you’d be willing to hide Anne Frank if she’s trans, gay, disabled, black, brown, in need of an abortion, or Muslim this time around — or yes, Jewish.

Talk with your family about who you know who would rat out Anne Frank to authorities and turn you in.

Talk to your family about how there might be occasional guests in your home for a while, travelers — maybe a girl or woman who doesn’t feel very good, maybe somebody who speaks another language. Explain safety.

If you can avoid moving in or moving to extremely conservative states, do so — especially if you’re one of their target demographics, like female.

Have a meeting place in town for your people, where all the family & friends who would want to rough it together & take care of one another agree to go, to meet up, in the event of anything truly serious. Pick out a place in the woods or wherever — for if shit hits the fan. Identify where you would go, and download or print a map of your area.

Work out how you would communicate if there is no wifi. We had to figure that out after Helene too. People put up chalk/white boards at their doors, to let others know they were safe, where they were, etc. A non-postal message box on your porch is helpful. Walkie talkies, folks.

Have batteries in your Survival Kits for headlamps, flashlights, lanterns, hearing aids, medical devices, etc.

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MRE’s… military rations… are lightweight freeze-dried meal packs that don’t weigh down a backpack, and are easily reconstituted with water.

Find out what plants could replace the Rx medications you’re prescribed. Make sure you can ID wild edible plants and poisonous things in your area. Don’t throw out old prescriptions. Stockpile these, because some is better than none, even if expired.

Have a Go-Bag for each person in their bedroom or the car: clothing, toothbrush, meds, hygiene kit, first aid kit, and most importantly, 2 pairs extra socks (wool ones to avoid blisters) and a change of shoes.

These are the things I can think of. If I am wrong in my thinking somewhere, correct me. Please add to this list.

Copied with permission rom a local Asheville post… sure to be challenged by the conservative crowd…. but who would have suspected people would be in our Social security accounts already?

The voices in the dark

September 27, 2024 was a dark day for those of us in western North Carolina. The remains of Hurricane Helene rushed up the highway from Florida and filled the rivers, already swollen from 30 inches of rain the previous two days. The term “a perfect storm” describes what happened–although from our viewpoint, it was far from perfect.

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The depth of living day to day, recovering from no power, no water, no internet, gradually over the weeks that have passed, tend to rob me of the memories of the beginning, the constant sound of the Army helicopters overhead, or the ever-present roar of chainsaws. But a song I heard on the radio today reminded me of one of the most important memories from those days: the radio DJs. iHeart radio in WNC banded together, four stations all broadcasting the same feed, just BEING THERE for the community, all day and all night.

People would call in, looking for other folk or things that were needed– a wheelchair that had been lost, a road blocked by a fallen tree, how to contact FEMA or the county or the state , where to get a hot meal when your kitchen had washed away. Twenty-four hours a day, you could call in and speak with a live, caring person or even drop an email to their dedicated Helene address and get answers for what you needed. I’m not sure if you haven’t been in the situation, if you can understand the poignant joy of knowing someone who understood was there, almost like an angel watching over us. What those radio folk gave this community was a gift we can’t repay.

And so, this song, “ONLY HOPE” by Nick Mac: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9cJmf8QObKE It brought me to tears, remembering what those people meant to us, allowing us all to share in community. Please listen and thank Nick Mac for the reminder and also those radio DJs who helped save us just as surely as the agencies and heavy equipment folk. THANK YOU.

For the holiday

The spider is a spinner of creativity. She designs beautiful patterns, new plans each day, for all facets of life, persisting through every mode of destruction, instinct driving her to continue to produce to survive. She is my spirit animal. I have lived her life, reveled in her joys, and created many things. But the spider has a dark side, and so do I.

There were friends, brothers, sisters, who created alongside me, who supported my designs, who walked with me when no others would. Little by little, my careless words would sting them, a

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thoughtless neglect would harm them. When next I’d check my web for their good humor, for their trusted camaraderie, they’d be gone. I’d carry on alone, for that is the life a spider comes to lead.

There were children. After a time, much too short a time, one by one, they climbed to the edge of the web, hung there for a moment, then launched themselves onto a stiff breeze. They traveled far, so far that I might never see them again. No emotional attachment necessary. They are free, and I am alone. For that is the way of spiders and their young.

As for love? A spider invites her mate onto her web, dancing with him across the lacy tiers. First passion blooms full, like the silver moon above, and life is a celebration of the meeting. But all too soon, ravening desire fades to a blank hunger that no longer fulfills. The mate is sacrificed to the spider’s ongoing mission to create and achieve and survive.

So it has been with my mates. Despite the bright lights and hot fires of early romance, one by one, they have been poisoned by my persistent, driven, overzealous spirit, and fallen by the roadside. For that is how a spider loves.

Now at the end of my time, I wait in my web alone, still creating when I am able, patching the ragged edges of a once-full and sturdy home.  Each day it is harder to repair the tears and ravages of age. A time will come when the netting holds together no longer—of this, I am sure.

What will happen to me then?

I know not what I deserve, but all I can wish for is to drop to the ground in a place both soft and mossy. I will look up at the sky, and the sun that has warmed me, see the passing of those that have fed me, remember the voices of those who were once of my web and moved on.

At last, I will draw the edges of the loam tenderly in, tuck my legs around my withered body, lie still, and create no more. For in the end, a hollow shell is all that a spider will be.

A day that should ‘live in infamy’

Many people today are celebrating May 4 as the lisping salutation of Star Wars’ “May the 4th be with you.” I’m a big fan, don’t get me wrong–I’m all for celebrating George Lucas’ creation.

ksu1But in my mind always is the “other” May 4. That would be May 4, 1970, 50 years ago today. I was in high school, and my stepmother was attending college–at Kent State University.  She came home from school that afternoon in tears. By the time the news was on that night, we all saw what she’d escaped from. National Guard members had shot and killed four students and wounded nine more in the middle of a protest against the expansion of Vietnam War into Cambodia.

From Kent State University records: Four Kent State students died as a result of the firing by the Guard. The closest student was Jeffrey Miller, who was shot in the mouth while standing in an access road leading into the Prentice Hall parking lot, a distance of approximately 270 feet from the Guard. Allison Krause was in the Prentice Hall parking lot; she was 330 feet from the Guardsmen and was shot in the left side of her body. William Schroeder was 390 feet from the Guard in the Prentice Hall parking lot when he was shot in the left side of his back. Sandra Scheuer was also about 390 feet from the Guard in the Prentice Hall parking lot when a bullet pierced the left front side of her neck.

KSU2Nine Kent State students were wounded in the 13-second fusillade. Most of the students were in the Prentice Hall parking lot, but a few were on the Blanket Hill area. Joseph Lewis was the student closest to the Guard at a distance of about 60 feet; he was standing still with his middle finger extended when bullets struck him in the right abdomen and left lower leg. Thomas Grace was also approximately 60 feet from the Guardsmen and was wounded in the left ankle. John Cleary was over 100 feet from the Guardsmen when he was hit in the upper left chest. Alan Canfora was 225 feet from the Guard and was struck in the right wrist. Dean Kahler was the most seriously wounded of the nine students. He was struck in the small of his back from approximately 300 feet and was permanently paralyzed from the waist down. Douglas Wrentmore was wounded in the right knee from a distance of 330 feet. James Russell was struck in the right thigh and right forehead at a distance of 375 feet. Robert Stamps was almost 500 feet from the line of fire when he was wounded in the right buttock. Donald Mackenzie was the student the farthest from the Guardsmen at a distance of almost 750 feet when he was hit in the neck.

I attended KSU from 1974-1978, and the presence of the Guard was still felt there. You could walk from the Victory Bell on the Commons up Blanket Hill in the footsteps of those who had rallied that day, protesting the War, protesting the government, protesting the presence of the Guard at all. You could walk around the journalism building to the parking lot at Prentice Hall (the place I lived freshman year) and see the tributes left for the dead. The bullet hole in the big black sculpture remained. Each year, students and staff  of the May 4th Task Force held a ceremony, remembering what had happened.

In 1977, the University proposed to build an expansion of Memorial Gym. The plans extended the building onto a section of the campus in front of the journalism building that was part of the area where the shooting had taken place. The Task Force and others protested this construction, saying it would change the space where the shootings had taken place. In May 1977, protesters began setting up a Tent City on the hill, and it soon was populated by many, many people sympathetic to the cause.

I met several of these folks while I was finishing my last semester there. Tent City had whole families who cooked meals together, jam sessions, political discussions. It was a glimpse back into the Sixties, for those of us who had been too young, people who’d gathered to express themselves and weren’t afraid to be arrested if they got to make their non-violent point. Because there was no violence, this go-round–Joan Baez and others came to sing of peace, and Dick Gregory and Ron Kovic urged the protesters to continuing sitting-in. Arrests occurred several times through July and August as the university attempted to clear the campers off the property, as hundreds watched, chanting “Long live the spirit of Kent and Jackson State!”

I don’t intend to get into the discussion of whether the May 4 shooting was justified–the court says it wasn’t. The ROTC building had been burnt by the protesters, true. The fact that some of the protestors were throwing rocks at the National Guard is also true. No one was blameless here (except for victim Sandra Scheuer, who was apparently just on her way to class and not involved at all).

But I believe it’s something worth revisiting in this day and age as protests ramp up over the orders meant to protect life and limb against coronavirus. Will there come a time when it’s less about politics and more about life and death? When it will be considered “justified” to shoot young people? Black people? White people? What kind of society do we want to have?

 

Does it feel scarier than it’s ever been? That’s because it is–but it’s 100% doable

Michele Huggins shared this, which does an excellent job explaining  the “why’ and worth knowing about PREVENTING this getting further:

“For those that still do not understand social distancing. This is as simple as it gets:

So much confusion, misinformation and denial is bouncing around on social media about the coronavirus this is in plain language, why the experts see this as such an emergency.

MB900301060You will see the claim online that this virus is a lot like the viruses that cause colds, and that if you get it, it will probably just seem like a bad cold and you are very unlikely to die. Depending on who you are, these statements are probably true. But they are incomplete, and the missing information is the key to understanding the problem.

This is a coronavirus that is new to the human population, jumping into people late last year from some kind of animal, probably at a wildlife market in Wuhan, China. It is related to the viruses that cause colds, and acts a lot like them in many ways. It is very easy to transmit through the respiratory droplets that all of us give off. But nobody has ever been exposed to this before, which means nobody has any immunity to it.

The virus is now moving explosively through the human population. While most people will recover, about 20 percent of the people who catch it will wind up with a serious disease. They will get pneumonia that causes shortness of breath, and they may need hospitalization.

Some of those people will get so sick that they cannot be saved and will die of the pneumonia. The overall death rate for people who develop symptoms seems to be 2 or 3 percent. Once we have enough testing to find out how many people caught the virus but did not develop symptoms, that might come down to about 1 percent, optimistically.

This is a large number. It is at least 10 times higher than the mortality rate for the seasonal flu, for instance, which in some years kills 60,000 or 70,000 Americans. So just on that math, we could be looking at 600,000 or 700,000 dead in the United States. But it gets worse.

Older people with existing health problems are much more vulnerable, on average. The mortality rate of coronavirus among people over age 80 may be 15 or 20 percent. It appears to have 7 or 8 percent mortality for people aged 70 to 79. Here is the terrible part: If you are a healthy younger person, you can catch the virus and, without developing serious symptoms yourself, you can pass it along to older people. In other words, as the virus spreads, it is going to be very easy to go out and catch it, give it to your grandmother and kill her, even though you will not die yourself. You can catch it by touching a door knob or an elevator button.

MB900337348Scientists measure the spread of an epidemic by a number called R0, or “R naught.” That number is calculated this way: for every person who develops the illness, how many other people do they give it to before they are cured (or dead) and no longer infectious? The R0 for coronavirus, in the absence of a control strategy, appears to be a number close to 3 – maybe a bit higher or lower, but in that ballpark. This is an extremely frightening number for such a deadly disease.

Suppose you catch the virus. You will give it to 3 other people, and they will each give it to three others, and so forth. Here is how the math works, where you, the “index case,” are the first line:
1
3
9
27
81
243
729
2,187
6,561
19,683
59,046
177,147
531,441
1,594,323
4,782,969
14,348,907

So, in just 15 steps of transmission, the virus has gone from just one index case to 14.3 million other people. Those 15 steps might take only a few weeks. The index person may be young and healthy, but many of those 14 million people will be old and sick, and they will likely die because they got a virus that started in one person’s throat.

The United States is not at this point yet, with millions infected, as best we can tell. We don’t really know, because our government has failed us. We are many, many weeks behind other countries in rolling out widespread testing, so we don’t really have a clue how far the thing has spread. We do know that cases are starting to pop up all over the place, with many of the people having no known exposure to travelers from China, so that means this virus has escaped into our communities.

We do not have approved treatments, yet. We do not have a vaccine. The only tool we really have now is to try to slow down the chain of transmission.

This can be done. In other words, R0 is not fixed – it can be lowered by control measures. If we can get the number below 1, the epidemic will die out. This is the point of the quarantines and the contact-tracing that you are hearing so much about in the news. But the virus is exploding so fast that we will not have the labor available to trace contacts for much longer, so we have to shift strategies. This has already begun, but we are not doing it fast enough.

It is now likely that the majority of Americans will get this virus. But slowing it down is still crucial. Why? Because the healthcare system has limited resources. We only have about a million hospital beds in America. We have well under a million ventilators. If millions of Americans get sick enough to need treatment, we will have a calamity on our hands. What will happen is a form of battlefield triage, where the doctors focus on trying to treat the young and allow the older people to die.

This is not theoretical. It is already happening in Italy, where people over 65 are being left alone on hospital gurneys to suffocate to death from pneumonia. They basically drown in their own sputum. There is simply not enough medical capacity to take care of them. The United States appears to be about two weeks behind Italy on the epidemic growth curve.

person washing his hand

Photo by Burst on Pexels.com

What do we need to do now? We need to cancel all large gatherings – all of them. You have probably seen that the N.B.A. has postponed the rest of its season. Other sporting events, concerts, plays and everything else involving large audiences in a small space – all of it needs to be canceled. Even if these events take place, do not go to them. No lectures, no plays, no movies, no cruises – nothing.

Stay at home as much as possible.Stay out of restaurants. I would cancel any travel that is not absolutely essential. Work from home if you possibly can. You may have to go buy groceries and medicine, of course, but make the trips quick and purposeful. Wash your hands assiduously after you have been in public places, for a full 20 seconds, soaping up thoroughly and being sure to get between the fingers. Sunlight and alcohol will kill the virus.

And please stop passing around statements on social media claiming that the situation is not serious or is being exaggerated. This is a national crisis, and conveying misinformation to your friends and family may put their lives in danger.”

Making a place your own

Now that I’ve retired, I’m probably living in the last home I’ll ever own. It’s a mobile home, so most of the “decorating” is dictated by what’s built in and where, but we’ve added touches, etc.

But over the years, one of the things I have truly enjoyed is moving into somewhere new, whether it was a new home or a new office for my law practice. There’s something about taking an empty space and envisioning the possibilities that I just love. (not the packing up and moving OUT, btw. Just the new moving in).

So now that I drive Little Miss to her employment prep classes every day at Mission biltmore bldgHospital in downtown Asheville, I’ve noticed this small building on the corner.

It’s not for rent that I know of, and I’m certainly not looking to open a new office. But it’s just cute. I love the slanted windows and can just imagine filling them with an assortment of plants, creating a healthy and happy working environment. Even living on the left side and officing on the right? Could be very convenient, and a lock between the two would certainly make it safer than my last office, which was in my home. (Only one bullet hole in the windows, a potential bomb threat in a manila envelope,  and a dead deer in the front garden. Not too bad for 15 years.)

What about you? Do you enjoy transforming an empty space into one you’ll love to be in? Or is moving just another task of drudgery? Share the pictures and spaces you’ve loved–and hated.

 

Happiness is…

Back in the day….a day in the late 1980s, actually, we lived in a dream house. My ex knew a guy who knew a guy, and at that time THAT guy owned a house in the middle of a ten-acre grove south of Homestead, Florida, nearly to the Florida Keys.

It was a five bedroom turn of the century house with a screened in deck and fruitspool, and the grove had just about any tropical fruit you’d like to eat– mango, giant avocados, calamondin, tamarind, bananas, mamey, black sapote, lychees, a bunch more I never tried. It was a once in a lifetime opportunity.

Of course, as long time followers of the blog know, this opportunity didn’t come without its down side. For one, it was just half a mile from the worst neighborhood in the lower end of Dade County. (see Shootout at the Mango Corral, above)

Also, it was in the middle of a fruit grove, so we had rats, and spiders, and even one night, a scorpion that nearly stabbed me when I was nursing the child.

But there were good times. Some of the best I remember were Sunday mornings, when the Miami Herald would come, we’d make a big pot of tea and take it out to the “veranda,” as we called our brick deck by the pool, and poolturn on Love94 Miami, which played Jazz in the A.M.

Full disclosure, ours was not nearly as fancy as this one, borrowed from Orlando Paver Pro, but with my feet up, reading the paper with jazz playing and the kids splashing happily in the pool, they were some of my best hours of the week.

It’s rare in this day and age to find a place that makes one feel content just being there, giving one an escape from all the other noise in the world. I know when I return to these mountains I now call home, I feel it, too.  What places make you feel like you are safe and content? Please share in the comments, with photos! blue ridge

 

 

 

The Missouri Compromise

No, not THAT one.

You’re thinking, oh this will be a boring discussion of slavery and American history. But it isn’t.

I’m drawing on the delineation of Missouri as the “Show-Me” state.

Those of us with loved ones on the spectrum often feel that we aren’t shown that affection that comes so easily to many of our NT kids and family members. For me, I sometimes think that Little Miss and I are on different planets, even though we live in 5518991291_8c8164c5cfthe same small home. We intersect at meals, sometimes. But even then, there’s often a screen in view and we’re absorbed in parallel play.

This existence is lonely-making, certainly. Not that she notices–she’s perfectly happy in her own world. If she’s sing-songing her imaginary stories in her head, she paces and exists beyond where I can see. If she’s absorbed in a screen, she’s elsewhere, too.

So I’m alone, but at the same time responsible for this woman-child, an adult by chronological age, but still much younger than her years from time to time.

She had a boyfriend for her last two years of high school, which worried me at first, as boyfriends do to all parents of girls past puberty. But I didn’t need to worry. She treated him much the same as she treats me–more as a thing to be checked off a list. As in, teenaged girls should have a boyfriend, now I have one. She didn’t worry much over the care and feeding of such a relationship, and eventually he approached me and asked why she didn’t want to be his girlfriend.

breakup-couple-vector-stock_gg64149870What followed was a messy few days when I explained how she is (he also has disabilities, but more physical than autistic), and assured him that it was likely the best he would get out of her. We were both sad, and then he broke up with her on social media. UGH.

She immediately decided she had to have a boyfriend and had logged herself onto OK Cupid before I even knew what she was doing. I panicked and at least put her onto Autistic Singles–who knew they had that?– but I shouldn’t have worried. Within a few days, she was reabsorbed in her own world, and I haven’t heard anything about it since.

So in a way, that’s great. No huge emotional scenes, no pining, no starving to death, etc. She’s happily back to ignoring me.

concert4

pic by Sandora JW Brown

But every once in awhile, a ray of light comes through. Last night we went to a STOMP! concert, and she propped her elbow on my shoulder for the show. It was definitely a “together” moment.

So we don’t push -much- and wait for those moments, those actual expressions of affection and gratitude and empathy. We live for those. Please, kid, SHOW ME. Just once in awhile. Thank you.

 

autism hugs