dancing through life

Working at a church and studying theology there’s a few things I get to think and ask questions about.  One of them are compassion… What is compassion, what does it mean if you say someone is a compassionate person and of course what does it mean to be a compassionate church?

 Well the word compassion (on my computers dictionary) gives the following synonyms: Sympathy,empathy,consideration,kindness,concern. And the following meaning:showing feelings of sympathy for the suffering of others, often with a desire to help. 

 Well if compassion means to care enough to have the desire to help, to be concerned about others what does it mean to be a compassionate church?  Does it mean that our church cares about the community that they get envolved and help where they can to help these strangers, does it mean that our pastors care enough for their congregation that they always have time for us, always help where they can ect. or does it mean that our church/congragation cares for each other, help each other, really listen to each other and the community or is it all the above?

Why is compassion such a hard thing (not just to understand but to actually have) Are humans just so selfcenterd that things like compassion you have to learn and work hard on.  That people make millions of dollars writing about it so that we can really understand it. Or is the problem really that we got hurt so many times before that it is just easier not to care any more.

Being a compassionate church is one of the hardest things to do, because you have so many different people all with their own history’s, their own thoughts,feelings and way of doing stuff.  Once again I don’t have the answer just the question, and my own thoughts…

I see people hurting each other every day in church, brothers and sisters in Christ fighting, not caring and most of all not LISTENING to each other.  Is the problem compassion or lack there of or really the not listening.  I don’t know maybe both…

 What I do think is that compassion in a church starts in the church, this may sound harsh and maybe I’m wrong but sometimes I think that it is easier to feel sorry,care for and help someone you don’t know (a total stranger) than someone you do know, someone in your church.  If we don’t care for each other how do we want to work together as the one body of Christ in the world out there?

Sorry if this is total chaos, I wrote as fast as my brain was working… I would like to hear your thoughts on this…

Well the long and the short is that the murderer of Little steven was convicted and found guilty of first degree murder he was sentenced to life imprisonment… This time justice prevailed lets just hope that it stays that way and that he and others like him don’t get another chance to hurt others aspecially our children…

Yes,yes I know it’s been four months, but I didn’t think anyone would miss me:)  And I wasn’t that far off… But then I get this email from wordpress wich states that I have a comment, naturally I couldn’t believe my eyes but there it was.  And Nadine asked me about the Stieven Siebert case and if I know what happend.

As a matter of a fact I do know what happend…  And although I’m bursting to tell you iol says it better so here goes: And I qoute…

August 08 2007 ”Paedophile child killer Theunis Olivier was sentenced to life in prison on Wednesday for the murder of six-year-old Steven Siebert.

Passing sentence, Mr Justice Essa Moosa said the cold-blooded nature of the murder was an aggravating factor.

“What is aggravating in your evidence is that while you strangled the child you watched him die
with no emotion.”

Judge Moosa sentenced Oliver to 14 years for indecent assault and 10 years for kidnapping. All the sentences are to run concurrently.

Steven’s parents, Thomas and Elaine Siebert, sat quietly as the judge spoke.

Olivier showed no emotion throughout sentencing.
Steven was found dead close to Olivier’s house in Plettenberg Bay in December 2005. The Sieberts, who live in Johannesburg, were on holiday in the resort at the time.

Moosa said the nature of the indecent assault had led the court to hand down a harsher sentence than the prescribed 10-year minimum.

“The indecent assault was particularly gruesome, as it involved inflicting bodily harm on an unsuspecting child of six years old.”

The judge said the kidnapping was “the trigger” that set the crime in motion.

Afterwards, Steven’s parents said they were encouraged by the support they had received from the community.

Elaine Siebert said she felt no sympathy for Olivier. “He made conscious choices as an adult. He is a victim of his own crime.”

In this case justice prevailed, whether it was because carte blanche aired a show about Steven Siebert and so doing put pressure on them doesn’t matter although I believe that getting 24 years for sexualy assaulting and killing a little child is not that harsh, but at least he didn’t walk free… 

I will try and blog more but the thing is I only want to write about things that’s really important to me so untill then…

I’ve been wondering for a while if I should write this post, see I’m wondering if anyone’s going to read it and I’m afraid that if someone does they’re going to think to themselve ‘o, no not again will she just stop this!’ And then it hit me that is exactally why I am going to write this because I don’t want people to turn they’re eyes away I don’t want them to get use to the wrong in this world every time must be as outragous as the last and we must stand up and do something!

Let me give backround information for those of you who don’t know the story…

Steven Siebert (6) went missing two days before christmas in 2005. Thomas Siebert (Steven’s father): “The people that saw him last … the lady who went to the shops when she came back she saw him hanging in the tree and the man that was with him and holding him when he was climbing the tree. That tree is probably less than five meters away from where Elaine (steven’s mother) was sitting with her back to the window. That is how brazen he was in approaching Steven.”

His parents, Thomas and Elaine can’t believe how quickly it happened.
A handyman employed there matched the description of the suspect last seen with Steven. The owner alerted the police and they arrested 47-year-old Raymond Sinclair.
He denied any knowledge of Steven’s whereabouts. But the next day, on Christmas Eve, the six-year-old’s body was found in the bushes next to the house Sinclair was renovating. Steven had been strangled and sexually assaulted.

On Christmas Day the shocking truth emerged. In a full confession to a magistrate he admitted to coaxing Steven to the house. The little boy’s footprints could still be seen in the pile of sand outside the garage. Inside he allegedly indecently assaulted and murdered him, before dumping the body in the bushes. What’s more is that the killer’s real name is Theuns Christiaan Olivier.
Olivier has a criminal record in Zimbabwe that spans two decades. In 1979 he was sentenced to two years imprisonment for indecent assault of children. But even then he was a smooth operator – he was released after six weeks for good behaviour. But his conduct didn’t change and children were never safe from him.

In January 1985 a child he indecently assaulted got his registration number and that is when he was brought to book. He had gone through to Harare,  and he saw this child and offered him a lift. The boy was threatened by Chris with a pair of scissors but he kept his wits about him and after he was dropped off he went home and told his parents and he then described everything to the police including the registration number.

Olivier was arrested and it seemed that this time the wily predator would be stopped. But again he conned his way out of custody. While awaiting trial he bribed a policeman for his uniform and escaped. His wife turned him in. In court, he managed to persuade the judge that he was not responsible for his actions and received an indeterminate sentence under the Mental Health Act. But the full extent of his crimes was never revealed.

After studying theology for 16 years in prison, Olivier managed to convince a psychiatrist that he’d been rehabilitated. In 2000, he was granted a presidential pardon and released.

Olivier arrived in Ladysmith KwaZulu-Natal shortly after the start of the new millennium.He lived at Matthews Farm, a shelter for vagrants, and a halfway house for foster children. He became a member of the Ladysmith Methodist Church, and gained the trust of the minister who gave him a position as a Sunday school teacher.

He again was arrested for indecent assault in 2004.The Ladysmith police never investigated his background and never discovered his true identity or his criminal record. After numerous postponements the prosecutor failed to confirm whether the Director of Public Prosecutions wanted to proceed with the case, and withdrew the charges. Once more a dangerous, serial paedophile walked out a free man.

And then came December 2005… (there has been other speculations of assault against children but no proof) and he went further then usual he murderd a 6 year old boy! Sixteen months after Steven’s murder (April 2007), Olivier is yet to stand trial, he is still in a police cell in Knysna. Thomas and Elaine have battled to get information about their son’s case.

Elaine (steven’s mother): “One comment was made to me that you know I must remember that Steven was not the only murder that happened in that area in December and my response to that was ‘yes, but he was my only son who was murdered in December’. I think that kind of feeling and lack of empathy pervades our whole system. People have become a number.”

As of today Steven’s murderer has been on trial and despite his confession he pleaded not guilty and claimed phyciatric problems although he has been examened by three Phychiatrists  and was pronounced mentally fit.  If Olivier can prove that he is mentally ill, he may be able to avoid a prison sentence and instead be referred to a psychiatric facility.
In the meantime the trial has been delayed for another six weeks. I will try and keep up with the case and let you know what happens… But the fact of the matter is that this man got away with crimes commited to children that we don’t even want to think about it and in the end people made it so easy for him that he could kill an inoccent child…

I know it is easier not to know this stuff and not to think about it but if we start turning our backs on our children then we might as well give up hope because they are our hope, future,love and they trust us (or are supposed to) Let’s not turn our backs lets start fighting for our children!!!

Long time no write… I know…

Well some of my english friends convinced me to write in english all though I hope that they will remember our deal (I’ll do it even though it takes me 6 times longer if they comment)

 Here goes: about two weekends back we had our theology camp at “klein kariba” actually theology camp is the wrong word because it was only for the dutch reformed students. But any how.  I had to organize it and all in all I think it went very well. 

We decided before hand that we are going to have a open conversation camp, no lectures just us talking together about the stuff that is important to us… After talking to one of the referents that went along (Immaneul van Tonder) we found a name for it: Open space a very good method in my oppinion but that’s not what I want to talk about now.

What got my attention was the theme’s (if you want to call it that) that we chose ’cause see with open space you don’t decide before hand on a theme for the camp the group decide’s that together. All of them were very good and interesting but amazed me.  We talked about demons, theology students in hostel, the dutch reformed church and english, theology students and their own spirituality, and two others (sorry I know what they are but if you’re going to ask me to write it in english I’m going to make a fool out of myself:)) in Afrikaans it is Die hierargie wat besig is om die kerk te smoor, en die Christelike neorose van die kerk. 

Well my problem, no I refrase it’s not a problem because most of the themes were important let’s rather say what caught my attention was that poverty, aids, violence, the lack of enough homes for orphanes the merging of the dutch reformed church with the VGK, how the church takes care of it’s people especialy it’s children ect. was never mentioned…

Why I asked myself?  Is it because they just don’t care, is it because they hear so much about it that they are just so tired of the subject that they don’t want to talk about it, is it because really don’t know much about it, is it because they don’t think it has anything to do with the church or is it just not that important…?  I don’t know the anwser (as usual) and I don’t really blame them or think less of them or think that the themes they chose were elementary I was just wondering when are we going to get our chruches to care more about these things than about their budgets ect. if our theology students don’t even think about these things and they’re suppose to be at least the ones that still care, the ones others might think to be naive because they still see the good in others and because they still have hope for the world 🙂 Yes I know I can’t really talk but I was just wondering…

Ja, ja ek weet ek het lanklaas geblog maar dit was intussen vakansie ens. ens. maar ek is terug met ‘n vraag wat ek al ‘n hele rukkie oor wonder: Is die kerk verantwoordelik vir sy jeug?

Laat ek verduidelik, met die dat misdaad kinders in S.A. alhoemeer raak en dat ek al ‘n post of twee daaroor geskryf het, het ek begin wonder wat is die kerk se rol in dit alles… Is die kerk net daar om te help troos as dinge klaar gebeur het of is daar ‘n groter rol wat die kerk dalk net nie seker is hoe om te vertolk nie wat ons moet speel?

Hoe help ons as die kerk (ok goed kom ons maak dit nouer want die kerk is mos eintlik almal maar kom ons maak dit meer spesifiek ‘n gemeente, jeugwerker, dominees en kerkraad) ons ouers om hulle kinders veilig te hou? En daarmee sê ek weereens nie ek weet hoe nie ek vra… Hoe waarsku ons, ons ouers en kinders teen hierdie gevare (wat partykeer baie nader lê as ‘n vreemdeling) sonder om ons kinders so bang te maak dat hulle heeltyd oor hul skouer wil kyk, sonder om paniek te saai? Is die kerk nie verantwoordelik vir sy gemeente en meer spesifiek vir sy kinders nie?

Ok kom ons maak dit makliker, kom ons begin by onsself. Hoe hou ons, ons kinders veilig wanneer hulle by die kerk is bv. na sondagskool/jeug wanneer hulle buite die kerk of op die sypaadjie vir hul ouers wag, hoe kies ons ons jeugwerkers en sondagskool kategete of jeugleiers (neem ons net aan hulle is Christene en dra die veiligheid van ons kinders op die hart) Ek het al met ‘n paar mense hieroor gepraat so al die vrae is nie noodwendig my eie nie maar ek dink dit is geldig. Hoe skep ons vir ons kinders by die kerk ‘n veilige omgewing sonder om hulle te versmoor en sonder om ‘n onwerklike omgewing te skep? Iemand anders het my met die vraag geantwoord: Maar is dit werklik die kerk se werk/verantwoordelikheid? En dit is die een vraag wat ek maklik en vinnig sal antwoord JA!!! Ek dink dit is deel van die kerk se werk en verantwoordelikheid om ons kinders optepas.

Miskien is die antwoorde en die goue middeweg nie altyd so duidelik nie maar dit beteken nie ons moet daarom die vrae vergeet of verwerp nie ek dink ons moet dit al hoe meer en al hoe harder begin vra. Kom ons begin saam die antwoorde soek en kom ons probeer ons kinders beskerm.

Hierdie is wel ‘n kort post maar dit beteken nie dit is van minder belang nie ek dink dit is tot dusver my belangrikste post ek hoop hierdie post gaan julle bietjie laat dink en voorstelle is welkom :), dankie vir al die comments wat ek gekry het oor hoekom vergewe?

Moenie hierdie post lees as jy dink dat ek die antwoord aan die einde gaan gee nie want ek het nie ‘n antwoord nie….

Ek is terug by die Sheldean storie maar dit is nie al waaroor hierdie post gaan nie, dit is net die laaste van ‘n klomp gebeurtenisse die afgelope twee weke wat my hieroor laat wonder het.

 Kom ek begin voor… Ek het die berig in die Beeld gelees waar hulle vir Sheldean se ouers sê dat hulle haar moordenaar moet vergewe:”“Julle sal vir Andrew Jordaan onvoorwaardelik moet vergewe vir die dood van jul dogter.”
Dit was die woorde van dr. Pieter Neethling, DA-raadslid, tydens ’n dankseggingsdiens by die Laerskool Hermanstad in die weste van Pretoria vir diegene wat gehelp soek het na die vermoorde Sheldean Human (7).
Neethling het gister Sheldean se ouers, mnr. Wikus en mev. Elize Human, gevra om Jordaan nie te haat nie.
“Vergewe hom en laat die saak oor in die hande van die regstelsel. Woon al die hofsake by, máár moenie daar sit met ’n wrok en haat in jou hart nie.
“Dit is nie net vir hom wat jy vergewe nie, maar vir jou eie bestaan ook,” het hy gesê.
Neethling, wat self ’n kind aan die dood afgestaan het, het gesê hy het dié les van vergifnis uit die “Onse Vader-gebed” geleer.
“Ek het die jong man wat my kind se dood destyds veroorsaak het, gaan besoek en aan hom gesê ek vergewe hom onvoorwaardelik.”
Sheldean se ontbinde lyk is twee weke gelede in ’n vloedwaterdrein sowat 4km van haar huis gevind.
Mnr. Andrew Jordaan (25), wat die plek waar Sheldean se lyk gekry is aan die polisie uitgewys het, is tans in aanhouding weens haar dood.”

Soos ek dit lees kan ek nie help om te wonder:”hoekom moet hulle nie, hoe kan hy dit van hulle verwag?” Ja ek weet dit klink nou nie baie christelik of na die regte ding om te sê nie maar ek kan nie help om dit te wonder nie. Ek meen hulle het hulle sewe jarige dogtertjie aan die dood afgestaan, nie a.g.v. siekte nie, nie a.g.v. normale goed nie maar a.g.v hierdie man. Daarmee saam moet hulle met die feit saam leef dat hulle dogterjie nie net wreed vermoor is nie maar dat sy nog verkrag ook is, (iets wat vir volwasse vroue te moeilik is om te hanteer, iets waarmee ‘n sewe jarige dogterjie nie moes kennis maak nie)

Kyk ek sê nie hierdie Pieter Neethling is verkeerd nie ek sê net ons moet dalk bietjie anders na onderwerpe soos vergifnis begin kyk.  Netso wonder ek of dit reg is om vir kinders wat seergemaak word in hulle huis (aangerand word, verkrag/molesteer word, ouers wat skei ens.) te sê jy moet jou ma of pa vergewe vir wat hulle aan jou doen, want die Here het jou vergewe vir al die slegte dinge wat jy gedoen het. Ja miskien maak dit seer ja miskien hou dit nie op nie en is jy nogsteeds in daardie huis maar die Bybel sê jy moet sewentig maal sewe keer vergewe, en vergewe soos wat die Vader julle in Christus vergewe het. Net so kan ek aangaan oor vroue/mans wat verkrag is, vroue wat se mans hulle hele gesin uitgeroei het ens.

Ek sê weer ek sê nie hierdie mense moet bly haat en hulle hoef nie te vergewe nie want ja dit sal hulle van binne af opvreet ens. maar ek wonder net hoe moet ons as Christene, as jeugwerkers en sommige van ons as dominee’s dit benader.  Want wie gee ons die reg om dit van hulle te verwag?  Hoe help ons hulle sonder om ‘n beeld van God te skep wat bo in die hemel sit en jou vergewe maar bewaar jou siel as jy nie vergewe nie dan is dit verby. Hoe behou ons die beeld van die liefdevolle Vader met meer liefde en genade as wat ons menslike verstand kan begryp. 

Hoe help ons mense sonder om so vinnig en maklik raad te gee soos om te sê VERGEWE. Ek weet nie, maar ek weet wel dat ons versigtiger met ons woorde moet omgaan, dat ons te maklik praat. Miskien moet ons meer begin luister, troos en liefhê en die Here vertrou dat Sy liefde en genade ons en hulle sal lei na die pad van vergifnis.

Wel net ‘n vinnige een…  Ek het vanoggend nou weer een van daardie e-mails gekry… ons almal ken hulle en het al op die een of ander stadium so een gekry. Ek persoonlik haat hulle!

Dit is daardie e-mails wat die een of ander Christelike boodskap veronderstel is om oor te dra en party van hulle is selfs mooi, maar dan kom daar die laaste sin: “Send this to five of your friends if you really believe”, of “send this to 5 of your friends and in two days you will receive a miracle” of soos die een wat ek vanoggend gekry het: “If you are not interested, and do not have the 4 Minutes it will take to do this, please don’t complain when God does not have time for you, because He is far busier than we are.” en die laaste sin :”Remember, Jesus said “Deny Me on earth and I’ll deny you before my Father”.

Daar is min dinge wat my so afsit soos dit en natuurlik weier ek dan juis om die e-mail of sms aantestuur… Wat my die meeste pla is dat ek gewoonlik hierdie e-mails by mense kry wat veronderstel is om my goed te ken en te weet hoe ek oor dit voel. Ek het altyd vir hulle die een of ander sarkastiese of mooi teologiese antwoord [hang af in watter bui ek was :)] terug gestuur maar ek doen dit nie eers meer nie.

 As jy een van daai mense is en hierdie lees is ek jammer as ek op jou tone trap maar jy is meer as welkom om met my daaroor te gesels moet asb. net nie weer sulke e-mails vir my stuur net omdat ek teologie swot en jy dink ek sal dit waardeer of selfs daarmee saamstem nie.

Wel hierdie is soortvan net ‘n inleiding vir hierdie post want ek moet nou gaan en het nie nou tyd om dieper en meer teologies op die ding in te gaan nie… Sal volgende keer

Soos ek die koerant berigte in Beeld oor Sheldean Human lees voel ek hoe hartseer in my opwel… (so ja my eerste blog is depressing) Ek sien gr2 kindertjies se betraande gesiggies en ek wil saam met hulle huil oor hulle maatjie wat ek nie eers geken het nie.

Ek lees die woorde en dit skok deur my! VERKRAG EN VERMOOR…VERMINKTE LIGGAAM… Maar sy was maar 7?! Ek dink aan my klein niggies wat maar een jaar ouer en een jaar jonger as dit is en ek kan nie dink nie… Nee ek gaan nie…  En dan kom ek op ‘n berig af wat dinge erger maak.  Die berig waar die DA-LP woordvoerder mnr. Mike Waters sê dat volgens die regering se statistieke word daar elke dag 3 kinders vermoor. DRIE!  En net op die volgende bladsy is hulle foto’s: Drie kinders wat se lyke in 2005 gekry is Micyela Ganchi (6), Merissa Naidoo (10) en Steven Siebert (6) Al drie seksueel aangerand en vermoor.

 En ons worry oor De La Rey! Ons fokus is misplaas! Hoe wil ons ‘n verskil in hierdie wêreld maak en Christus se boodskap uitdra as ons hierdie goed net ignoreer of doodeenvoudig nie daarvan weet nie? Ja dit is sekerlik makliker om oor dinge soos De La Rey, en homoseksualiteit ens. te debateer want daar kan ons partykeer nog ‘n mate van ‘n antwoord gee, daar raak dit ons nie so erg nie. 

 Maar vergeet vir ‘n oomblik van De La Rey en van naamveranderings en al hierdie ander dinge! En kom ons vat die kinders in ons land en reg oor die wêreld se handjies en laat hulle toe om weer lewe in ons verharde harte te druk en hulle nood raak te sien.

Kinders moet kan speel sonder om oor hulle skouers te moet kyk, (dit is ons grootmense se werk) sonder om te worry oor kos vir vanaand (ook ons werk) sonder om volwasse te moet optree en sonder om bang te wees vir groot mense.

Moenie gaan blomme neersit as dit te laat is nie, moenie wil gaan berading doen as die seer klaar daar is en so jou deel doen nie, ons moet nou iets doen terwyl ons nog kan en laat die kindertjies na Hom toe kom!

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