“true glory is doing what deserves to be written, and writing what deserves to be read.”

the things i have in my life right now, are neither.

i feel like i’ve hit a deadspot in the the middle of a glassy sea.

i’ve tried flirting with this girl i met – i’m guessing she’s about 5 years younger – and for awhile it seemed like it would take off, but not anymore. a lot it is because i’m not all that keen to pursue it. i mean i want it, but i’m not committing myself to the chase. all i managed to end up doing was to create a hankering for something that will take off.

of course, all this is terribly unfair to the one i’m with. so i try to stay away from that particular hunger. still, i can’t stop thinking of this girl. for some reason, i believe she will bring the breeze that will push me out of these doldrums.

Tags: flirting, sex

Read it, and take away from it what you can. Or will.

There is one thing in this world that you must never forget to do. If you forget everything else and not this, there’s nothing to worry about, but if you remember everything else, and forget this, then you will have done nothing in your life.

It’s as if a king has sent you to some country to do a task, and you perform a hundred other services, but not the one he sent you to do. So human beings come to this world to do particular Work. That Work is the purpose, and each is specific to the person. If you don’t do it, it’s as though a priceless Indian sword were used to slice rotten meat. It’s a golden bowl being used to cook turnips, when one filing from the bowl could buy a hundred suitable pots. It’s a knife of the finest tempering nailed into a wall to hang things on.

You say, “But look, I’m using the dagger. It’s not lying idle.”

Do you hear how ludicrous that sounds? For a penny, an iron nail could be bought to serve the purpose. You say, “But I spend my energies on lofty enterprises. I study jurisprudence and philosophy and logic and astronomy and medicine and all the rest.” But consider why you do those things. They are all branches of yourself.

Remember the deep root of your being, the presence of your lord. Give your life to the one who already owns your breath and your moments. If you don’t, you will be exactly like the man who takes a precious dagger and hammers it into his kitchen wall for a peg to hold his dipper gourd. You’ll be wasting valuable keenness and foolishly ignoring your dignity and your purpose.

Thanks Barney.

Tags: philosophy, rumi, baha’i

i read alot of bloggers, don’t get me wrong. but i’m not big on commenting, so i rarely get noticed for visiting. i’m one of those digits in statcounters and sitemeters all across the world wide web. fitting, i suppose, for someone who goes by the handle anino.

once before, i did escape – for a short time. but i was caught and stitched back on. so shadow i remain for now.

and maybe that’s the first reason i blog: because i am still – after all these years – just a shadow of the person i want to be. writing helps me map out all the things that are in me, in hopes of finally finding the shape of me.

the second reason has to be because i can. i started blogging in 2000 and must have started up about 20 blogs at least, most of ’em on blogspot. and most of them never got past the 10-post mark. i’ve had at least two spectacular successes, but i’ve since stopped working on them. the point, for me, has always been the freedom to write what i wanted. push-button publishing for the people!

and speaking of push-button publishing, i also intend to write a book someday. my third reason. most writers have a tape recorder, i have blogs. someday, they will all come together, but i’ve yet to start the one blog – ash blog durbatuluk, ash blog gimbatul, ash blog thrakatuluk agh burzum-ishi krimpatul! BWAHAHAHA. … ehem.

i also blog because i am an opinionated sonuvabitch. enough said about that fourth reason.

and finally, the fifth reason i have for blogging, i blog because i really believe that these little critters will yet emerge as a n engine for change.  back in the day, the best we could do was yell at the teevee at stupid politicians and corrupt morons who ran the country. now, we can type. it’s a little less sedentary than sitting around in an overstuffed armchair (some fingers get exercise, and my wrists are becoming more muscular than ah-nuld!), and more satisfying because you’re not shouting alone. eventually, we won’t even be just shouting anymore. we will be making change. one keystroke at a  time.

“tinataya” translates to “it is estimated.” Thus: “tinatayang aabot ang temperatura sa  tatlumpong antas ng sentigrado” would be translated to “it is estimated that temperatures will rise to 30 degrees centigrade. the key word ‘taya’ therefore, corresponds quite clearly to ‘estimate.’

‘taya,’ as it is pronounced to mean ‘bet’ carries the same sense – that of speculation. when you bet, you in effect ‘estimate’ the chances of all variables and based on that ‘estimation,’ you pick the likeliest outcome.

clearly, therefore, when we say ‘tinataya’ to mean ‘it is estimated,’ we must pronounce ‘taya’ in the same way that we pronounce it’s root signification – ‘taya,’ meaning ‘to bet’.

so why pronounce the damned word “tina-ta-ya”? ‘ta-ya’ means nothing. it is a rootless sound masquerading as a word!

one of the more interesting comments on that blog, expresses outrage that there are some bloggers who just really stay away from some issues.

nick, also a blogger, wrote:

I consider that arbet and Manolo may both have a point…

most Filipino bloggers are tech, showbiz, or personal bloggers…

I’ve come to realize this with my Musa Dimasidsing writing project when someone replied to my invitation to express their reaction to the murder of Musa Dimasidsing with a simple, “I am politically apathetic”… “I am a technology blogger”

Pardon my outrage at this apathy

And some just can’t blog about this on the spot, ricky Carandang hasn’t blogged about this (I consider his schedule), but I am not concluding that he is not outraged..

But in general, on a collective note, manuel has a point..

search blogs with judy ann Santos, you’ll get better results..

philippine political bloggers are rare..

i share nick’s frustration. no matter what your chosen field of endeavor is, some things cut across categories and demand your outrage. the death of Musa Dimasidsing is one. the barbarism in tipo tipo is 14 others.

the tridentine, or high mass, was one of the casualties of Vatican II which severely limited the occasions during which the tridentine could be used. in its stead, the Roman Missal – a ‘lay-manized’ mass – was adopted where the priest could speak in the vernacular and had to face the church-goers.

while this did help gain new faithful, the fact is, a lot of people turned away, feeling that the solemnity of the mass was diminished by the new mass. some writers say the church lost more than a million faithful this way. Of course, some people continued to celebrate tridentine mass, but apart from those who practiced it quietly – certain hard core opus dei members for instance – they mostly got in trouble. one bunch even got excommunicated.

but now, adherents of the tridentine ceremony need no longer skulk in the darkness of private chapels and such. the Pope recently ‘de-criminalized‘ the celebration of the mass. naturally, this move met with almost as much opposition as approbation.

the pope explained his decision by saying that catholics should not totally sever their ties with the ancient forms of worship, and that even the young have ‘connected’ with the mass too. jews, on the other hand – previously bad-mouthed by certain parts of the tridentine mass – are up in arms. apparently, there is a part of the mass that asks for the ‘conversion of jews.’

what a mess.

personally, i think this whole debate about ritual is absurd. what matters is the spirit behind the celebration. sure enough the ritual enhances some church-goers’ appreciation of the worship, but didn’t jesus say that he didn’t like showy prayers? remember that parable about the priest who prayed loudly (presumably with all the ‘amens!’ and ‘father-god’ jargon so popular today) and the man who prayed quietly? jesus liked the quiet fellow better, didn’t he?

to my mind, that means ritual is unimportant. sincerity is. in fact, the way things go in this country, people have a tendency to decline in sincerity as they ratchet up ceremony. it’s like crying. you could be bawling your heart out with all honesty, but the minute you decide that you want to keep on crying, the tears stop coming.

and with the tridentine mass, i think we’re just trying to connect with god in a way that seems to our mind more solemn and mysterious than the roman missal, as though that made the worship better or more sincere. i think it doesn’t. and here in the philippines, i think it may even be the exact opposite.

A simple life presents an independent point of view in a lucid and well-writ manner. Mga Paugat kag Pautwas ni Kwan on the other hand talks about various aspects of his life, always in entertaining fashion. As kwan says: Irimaw taton!

Simon: “They do, but not as you believe they do. Many today think that ghosts are the spirits of dead people, come back to fulfill some last mission, or to set some unholy wrong to right. That’s bullshit. When people die, they stay dead until the Last Judgment. They don’t go up to Heaven to be with Jesus; they don’t go to Hell to suffer with the devil; and they sure as shit don’t go to Purgatory or Limbo. Limbo is a party dance, not a place for the dead.”

Jason: “So what are ghosts, eh?”

Simon: “Ghosts are the old gods. This is some deep initiate shit, so you better pay attention. When God sent that flood to destroy the world, he killed off a lot of Seth’s children. But Seth’s children weren’t a whole lot. The rest of the world really belonged to Lilith’s children and Cain’s children. Both Cain and Lilith were, of course banished from Eden long before Seth was even born, and long before God tied man’s fate to the soil. You see, when God told Adam that he would have to till the earth and live by the sweat of his brow, what he actually meant was that if Adam couldn’t feed himself, he would die. That was his – and his descendants’ – punishment. Before that point, Adam didn’t need to do anything in order to stay alive. He was immortal. And so was Eve, and so was his first wife, Lilith. But Adam and Eve lost that immortality, and when Seth was born, it was as a mortal child to mortal parents.

But Lilith was allowed to leave Eden long before that punishment was meted, so she stayed immortal. Cain, on the other hand, was sentenced to live forever, so even if he and Abel started out mortal, he became immortal. So, when the flood rolled along, the world was full of the descendants of these two immortals – all of whom were pretty much immortal as well.

But God has a way of trumping everything, being Creator and all, so his flood eradicated the physical aspects of all Lilith’s and Cain’s children, removing them from this world. But their souls survived.”

Jason: “Hold on, old man. If God was overwhelmingly powerful, how could their souls survive?”

Simon: “Because God never intended them to die. Remember, the purpose of the flood was to cleanse the earth of all evil; to give Seth’s descendants another chance. When the bodies of the children of Lilith and Cain died, their souls lost all power to affect the earth. They couldn’t do evil because a disembodied soul simply cannot interact with the physical world.
So, they just hung around, wandering the earth, pretending to be alive but denied the pleasure of being alive.

“Everything would have gone on swimmingly had not Seth’s children eventually disappoint God once again. Men are a weak lot, Jason. Never forget that. They need to be constantly reminded that everything makes sense, otherwise they forget. And when they forget, they make up all sorts of superstitions to explain away things they don’t understand even though the true meaning of things lies buried deep in their memories.

“The souls of the children of Lilith and Cain eventually learned to take advantage of man’s stupidity, and began making themselves felt on this earth once again.

“And that was how those old gods were born. They weren’t really gods, but convinced people that they were. As their believers grew in number, these disembodied souls became more and more powerful, feeding on the faith offered by their worshippers. It was around this time that the magician Nimue gave them the name Dioscouri. She had divined their true nature and began denouncing them to everyone who practiced the Art.

“The Dioscouri banded together for the first time in history and instructed all their believers to hunt Nimue down. Nimue escaped, of course, and the name stuck. Eventually, the worshippers of the Dioscouri dwindled and they became powerless again.

“And that was when some of the most desperate started terrifying those who used to believe in them. Out of anger perhaps, or out of sheer desperation. But the tactic worked. Peopl, as it turned out, were as willing to believe in malevolence as they were inclined to believe in benevolent gods. Thus, were demons and possessions introduced into the history of the world. And with them, ghosts.”

Jason: “I see. And where do I come in?”

Simon: “That, Jason, is another story altogether.”

“Ghosts are the Dioscouri, pretending to be the loved ones who have passed on. They feed on people’s faith that they are in contact with the ones they’ve lost. Just like they used to, when people held them as gods.”

Tags: ghosts, life+after+death, gods,