The closing months of 2008 were Hollywood's busiest when last minute contenders were releasing their films for the upcoming awards season. Films like Changeling, Australia and The Curious Case of Benjamin Button started the awards buzz. But here in this side of the world, the only buzz we heard of was Ploning's bid to make it to the Oscar's Best Foreign Language Category.

Eventually, Ploning did not even make it to the shortlist. And by mid-January, the Golden Globes fueled the buzz by making Slumdog Millionaire & Vicky Cristina Barcelona as Best Picture winners in drama & comedy respectively, surprising Kate Winslet with a back-to-back win as Best Actress in a Drama & Best Supporting Actress, and awarding a posthumous Best Supporting Actor trophy to Heath Ledger.

January 22, all the buzzing stopped as the nominees for the 81st Oscars were announced. Shortly after, a new kind of buzzing started because the REAL race for the Oscars started.

Now, I try to play a fictitious character named "Oscar" whose predictions for the upcoming Oscars can only be a hit or a miss (duh!) and whose only AMPAS-required credential is more than 30 hours of viewing nominated and would-have-been-nominated films; all but only one--Rachel Getting Married.

 

AND THE NOMINEES ARE...

The Academy snubbed Leonardo DiCaprio for Revolutionary Road bigtime and Clint Eastwood for Gran Torino. Well, Clint has a museum of Oscar trophies, anyway. But Leo has nothing but a museum of nominations.

IF I WERE OSCAR, I would give Leonardo DiCaprio the curious Benjamin's spot anytime.

It’s going to be a tough battle between the wrestler and the gay activist. The Golden Globes went with Rourke's comeback performance, while the New York Film Critics Circle Award & the Screen Actors Guild Awards went with Sean Penn. Usually, the SAG predits the Oscar acting winners. So, at the moment, Penn leads 1-2. But if there’s going to be an upset, it will come from Frank Langella's impressive portrayal of Nixon.

Brad Pitt is never going to win for his non-acting in Button. And if in any twist of malicious fate that he does, it's just the Academy's make up for his non-nomination for Babel two years ago. But that's just complete bullcrap.

IF I WERE OSCAR, I would give Sean Penn's 2nd Oscar statuette.
BUT I'M NOT. So, Mickey Rourke will have his first Oscar.

 

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I LOST MY PHONE.

I freakin lost my chippy phone. My dated but dependable phone.

There's a reason why for 5 long years, I kept that bulky old phone. I am a commuter. And i love being one. And being one means that I am forever at risk of losing my phone, whether by force or by stupidity. So having a non-glamorous phone lowers that risk.

But hell. Today, pinagtyagaan ng mandurukot ang phone ko. I DONT THINK THEY'RE EVER GONNA SELL IT FOR MORE THAN A THOUSAND. I MEAN, HELLOOO??? It was a Nokia 35somethingidunno. May bibili pa ba niyan sa Greenhills??? Bigyan nalang kita ng 1thou, just give me back my phone. Or SIM. I'm not a postpaid user. And I'm never gonna get my number baaaack. And this is why I'm ranting. Well, besides the fact that I never thought my phone was nakaw-able.

Why me??? Why my phone??? I bet, sa sinasakyan kong bus kanina, may naka-N Series dun. Or yung may TV na cellphone. Why did you even bother stealing mine? One that doesn't even have a camera. Wala kang scandal na maeenjoy sa phone ko! Tanging "Happy loviedovie birthday" message lang from Sir Yason ang nandun! HUWAAAAAY???
Oh damn it. I'll be going to Greenhills tomorrow. Gonna buy my phone back. WAHAHAHA.

 

Sign up na!!!

Let me start by saying this has to be the worst MMFF in recent years. As if the Festival is not the worst one there is.

So, here's how I rank the MMFF entries in order of personal preference and my two cents:


upside:
-Guilt-free laughter.
-Technically pleasing. Decently made.
-Direction is present. Handling of support cast and minor roles is well-attended to.
-Disbelief is suspended for exaggeration and humor, yet the main text remains believable.
-Strong collaborative performance from Aiai Delas Alas and Eugene Domingo.

downside:
-Unresolved subplots
-In-your-face product placement in the end


upside:
-The movie resembles 'Jologs' but the concept revolving around sex, lies, secrets, and hypocrisy makes for a strong plot.
-Alternative storytelling for taboo subjects.
-The handheld camera movement worked well with the editing. Documentary style of cinematography allowed a closer look to the scorned life of the characters, giving it a sense of 'reality'.
-Good performances from Alessandra de Rosi, Paolo Contis, Ricky Davao, Manilyn Reynes, and Joross Gamboa.

downside:
-The ambience from the start to end is monotonously high-pitched. Agit lahat ng tao. Although it seems to be the movie's intention.
-Stereotyping of homosexuals as parloristang bakla and suicidal maniacs.
-Camera tilted up under Chokoleit's nose isn't really a nice shot.


upside:
-Pinoy na Pinoy. The talent is overwhelmingly present. If this is the future of Filipino animated movies, then it's in good hands.
-Technically brilliant. Although me thinks, given more time and resources it could've been made better.
-Perfectly voiced. Nash Aguas is one hell of a talent.
-Story is so-so.

downside:
-Excessive product placement!!!


upside:
-Beautifully photographed. And colored. The only two things that saved the movie. Kudos Lee Meily and the post-prod people.
-The movie has actually nothing more than aesthetic pleasure in it.
-Strong performance from Jericho Rosales.

downside:
-The story suffered from a very uninteresting material.
-The movie is excruciatingly long. If that's the intention, it succeeded. But why make it the intention? Is it to justify that the movie is an Epic? But then again, it fails to be larger than life.
-I could have ranked Baler on the top spot if not for its inappropriate ideological subtext.
-Poor casting. The Filipino characters look more mestiso/mestisa than the Spaniards: Anne Curtis, Nikki Bacolod, Joel Torre. Authenticity of the Spanish Guardia Civils also failed. One of them looked American/German but most of them looked Pinoy. And the Spanish officials who persuaded Ryan Eigenmann to surrender were freaking Mexicaaans!!!
-Production Design. Okay, the costumes and props may be authentic but hell, they all look new. Even the greasy clothes look newly greased.
-Musical Score. The score during the exodus scene says it all: WTF.


-The movie has a high entertainment value.
-Ruffa Mae Quinto saved the movie from it's damned director.
-Topless men and bulging notes for the girls and gays. Boobs overflowing their bras and Marian Rivera for the boys.

downside:
-Just as the movie's title, it is a desperate attempt to portray the modern Filipina.
-Ogie's Luga Luda is nothing but a deus ex machina. A hilarious one, I must admit.
-Dubbing sucks BIGTIME!
-I don't know but, the movie is completely wrong. Blame it on Joel Lamangan.


-Simple. Non-pretentious. Straightforward.

downside:
-SEXIST! Boo! Ang backwards ng pagiisip ng pelikulang ito!
-Jinggoy Estrada
-They could have given Daboy a more proper tribute film. Not as told by Jinggoy.


upside:
-Class Picture, the second short, is the most decent of the 3. The atmosphere and the right pacing gave the other 2 stories a real scare.
-Marian Rivera is in her element in Nieves, the 3rd short.

downside:
-Emergency, the 1st short, is a complete shipwreck.
-It's been more than 20 years for SRR and there's no progress. The bar is kept lowered every year. The best SRR's remain to be the old ones. If this is the case, the franchise better be ended with the tenth anthology.


upside:
-It's safe to say there's none.

downside:
-It's safe to say, the movie itself.
-The movie has nothing to do with the classic series except for the characters. For a more vivid description, think of old slapstick TVJ movies updated with your everyday Eat Bulaga and a pointless sidetrip to Ankor Wat.
-That enormous Chanel bag can't hide how big Sharon Cuneta is.
-What's the deal with putting Ryan Agoncillo in the movie? If you can't kill him in the box office, you kill him in your movie? WTF?
-And finally, THERE IS NO FILMMAKING INVOLVED IN THIS MOVIE. It is a slap on the face of every student enduring 4 years (or more) in film school. It is a disgrace to the film industry. And it cheapens the sensibility and humor of the Filipino audience.



BEST PICTURE
What should've won: NONE
What won: BALER

BEST DIRECTOR
Who should've won: JOSE JAVIER REYES (One Night Only)
Who won: MARK MEILY (Baler)

BEST ACTOR
Who should've won: JERICHO ROSALES (Baler)
Who won: CHRISTOPHER DE LEON (Magkaibigan)

BEST ACTRESS
Who should've won: AIAI DE LAS ALAS (Ang Tanging Ina Nyong Lahat)
Who won: ANNE CURTIS (Baler)

BEST SUPPORTING ACTOR
Who should've won: RICKY DAVAO (One Night Only) / JOROSS GAMBOA (One Night Only) / CHRISTIAN VASQUEZ (Desperadas 2)
Who won: PHILIP SALVADOR (Baler)

BEST SUPPORTING ACTRESS
Who should've won: EUGENE DOMINGO (Ang Tanging Ina Nyong Lahat) / MANILYN REYNES (One Night Only) / ALESSANDRA DE ROSI (One Night Only)
Who won: MANILYN REYNES (One Night Only)

BEST CHILD PERFORMER
Who should've won: NASH AGUAS (Dayo)
Who won: ROBERT VILLAR (Shake, Rattle & Roll X)

BEST STORY
Who should've won: ONE NIGHT ONLY
Who won: ONE NIGHT ONLY

BEST SCREENPLAY
Who should've won: ANG TANGING INA NYONG LAHAT
Who won: BALER

BEST CINEMATOGRAPHY
Who should've won: BALER
Who won: BALER

BEST PRODUCTION DESIGN
Who should've won: BALER / DAYO
Who won: BALER

BEST EDITING
Who should've won: ONE NIGHT ONLY
Who won: BALER

BEST MUSICAL SCORE
Who should've won: DAYO
Who won: DAYO

BEST SOUND
Who should've won: DAYO
Who won: DAYO



Now, where do I reimburse my tickets?

 

Christmas Day 2008 is done and once again in the "Texting Capital Of The World", text traffic was as crazy as EDSA, SLEX, and Katipunan Ave at 4 in the afternoon on a schoolday combined. Okay, exagg. Imagine a whole country texting, forwarding, GM-ing "Merry Christmas" to loved (and sometimes, hated) ones.

But there are some who made a little more effort to deviate from the simple 2-word greeting, may it be in English or Tagalog or Taglish or Fagalog (Fag+Tagalog). Personalized and wittified.

So here are interesting Christmas greetings I received that deserve this year's Christmas Greeting Awards.


The FIERCE Greeting Award
goes to...
JUMAR YAP

To all my ever beloved fierce Cineastes,
A fierce, merry christmas to you and your family!!!


The RUMARASON PA Greeting Award
goes to...
SARA SEBASTIAN

hindi ako bumabati dahil naka-unli ako.
pero oo, cge, aaminin ko, naka-unli nga ako.
mahirap kasi ang buhay.
buti na lang, andyan ka.
salamat, ha?
maligayang pasko!
:-)


The IN DENIAL Greeting Award
goes to...
GLENN DIAZ

i hate christmas,
but i love you!
have a merry one guys!


The ALTERNATIVE LIFESTYLE Greeting Award
goes to...
ALELI MESINA

Million dollar listing.
Top chef.
Project runway.
And nachos.
It's the perfect xmas eve yo!
eat and be merry.
I love you hos!


The DEDICATED TO CATHOLICS, TO IGLESIA NI KRISTO & TO ATHEISTS Greeting Award
goes to...
JOHN FRANCIS "KEPI" LOSARIA

Isang mpagpalayang araw ng tradisyon sa mga ngdriwang,
d mkpagdiwang, at sa mga kinalimutan nang magdiwang.
Anupaman, isang mapayapang kapaskuhan senyo.
rakenrol :D


The ISINABAY LANG SA PASKO or GINAMIT LANG ANG PASKO Greeting Award
goes to...
MARELLA CASTRO

Meri xmas!
Pero mas ito ung gusto kong sabihin:
maraming salamat sa pagkakaibigan!
Yakap at pag-ibig!
=)


The COPY-PASTE-EDIT Greeting Award
goes to...
EKA FUKUSHIMA & HERSHEY VARDELEON

No matter how [insert negative adjective here]
our lives may be, how [more nega] and [isa pang nega] we are,
LIFE is still short to waste so let's stop being [emo is applicable] for a while.
MERRY CHRISTMAS!
-pag-ibig only, EKA FUKUSHIMA

No matter how [insert negative adjective here]
our lives may be, how [more nega] and [isa pang nega] we are,
LIFE is still short to waste so let's stop being [emo is applicable] for a while.
Eat. Drink. Kiss. Smoke. Make love!
What else are better ways to spend the night.
Cheers!
MERRY CHRISTMAS!
-pag-ibig everyone.
Hershey Vardeleon


The TIWANG Greeting Award
goes to...
NONE OTHER THAN THE TIWANG HIMSELF, JEFF CABRAL

Bet mo pumunta dito!
Kain ka and let's drink.
Keri mo?


The PRAISE THE LORD HALLELUJAH Greeting Award
goes to...
KRIZ GAZMEN

Let's not forget the whole point of tonight's celebration--
the birth of Jesus and how He was sent to save us,
including you, because He loves you so much.
Have a meaningful Christmas!
-Kriz Gazmen


The ACCEPTANCE SPEECH Greeting Award
goes to...
MAITA LIRRA LUPAC

As we celebrate the birth of our Lord,
i want to take this oppurtunity to thank you
for being a blessing to me.
Thank you and i love you!
Merry christmas!
-Maita


The MAPAGKUNWARING Greeting Award
goes to...
VINGAYE PIZARO

Kunwari i care.
Kunwari hindi ito korni.
Kunwari close tayo.
Merrygrizmas!
bow.


The KUMU-QUOTE PA Greeting Award
and
The KUNG AGAWIN MO NAMAN ANG SPOTLIGHT NG PASKO FROM CHRIST Greeting Award
go to...
MAX CASACLANG

It's such a shame that you can't be with me tonight.
-Sandwich, Two Trick Pony
Merry ChristMAX!
May the love and happiness of the season be with you :)
Enjoy the holidays to the MAX ;p


The AGAINST ALL ODDS Greeting Award
goes to...
RICHMOND GARCIA

I may have had the strongest of flus
and coughs for weeks and so far
THIS HAS GOT TO BE THE BEST CHRISTMAS EVER,
but it still wont stop me from greeting you all!
Eat. Kiss. Drink. Smoke. Love!
Merry Christmas!
-Rich Garcia


The HALLMARK GREETING CARD Greeting Award
goes to...
JERWIN ESPIRITU

Wishing you all the timeless treasures of Christmas.
The warmth of home,
the love of family and
company of good friends.
Joyeux Noel!


The DI KO ALAM KUNG BUMABATI BA OR NANGIINSULTO Greeting Award
goes to...
EUNICE CRUZ

Merry ho ho!
Happy holidays from one cineastes bitch to another.
Love you drei!


The CONSISTENT SA RELIHIYON Greeting Award
goes to... it's a tie!
MONIQUE "BAKA" BALDEMOR & BARBIE ESTRELLA

*no greeting sent*


The MAKAWASAK KIPAY Greeting Award
goes to...
JOHN RAMIREZ

Thanks Andre!
Merry rockin' christmas to ur family!


The MAS MAKAWASAK KIPAY Greeting Award
goes to...
JOSE IBARRA "MANDY" GUBALLA

Buddy!
Maligayang pasko!
I miss you!


AND THE MOST COVETED AWARDS...

THE PINAKA IN-EFFORT-AN GREETING AWARD
and
THE WITTIEST CHRISTMAS GREETING OF THE YEAR
go to...

*drumrolls*

IT'S A TIE!!!
FRANCES MORTEL & SANYA COO

Happy halloween sa mga giniginaw,
happy puso sa may kaakap,
happy april fools sa mga umiiyak,
happy labor day sa mga kumakayod pa,
happy thanksgiving day sa mga magreregalo,
at happy birthday sa mga magbubukas ng regalo.
Gusto kong maghappy birthday to me
kaya pwede pa kayo humabaol magthanksgiving.
Apir!
-Frances Mortel

MARIE christmas to my BEBEs!
May this SISON give us RICHes and AGUINALDOs!
enJAI this day to the MAX!
ANDREmember i love all YAPeople!!!
-Sanya Coo

 

Barack Obama sweeped to victory becoming not only the 44th American President but the first black person to win a white house.

Today, history is made and I was able to watch it unfold. Since last night, I was tuned in to CNN. I slept with the TV on and woke up to the first poll results with Obama leading. I just love marathon coverages, hehe. At around noon, when West Coast polling stations closed, CNN already projected Obama to win with the remaining States considered to be Obama strongholds.A few minutes later, McCain and Palin conceded. An hour later, Obama finally appeared before a huge crowd in Chicago and made his victory address. Seeing Oprah and other blacks teary-eyed in the audience, I felt the big-dealness of the event. It's the most important turning point every African-American had been waiting for since they obtained equal rights. It's the fullfilment of Martin Luther King. It's the realization of Morgan Freeman who played US President in a number of films. Everything was emotional.

This is F-U-C-K-I-N-G history. When Sidney Poitier won the Oscars, I wasn't even alive. Today, when the first African-American won the White House, I had to pause from eating my lunch and witness it on live TV.

I hope I would live to see the day when a Latino and an Asian follow the steps of Obama.

 

Mag-Ingat Ka Sa... Kulam
(Regal Films, 2008)
Direction | Jun Lana
Cast | Judy Ann Santos, Dennis Trillo, TJ Trinidad, Ces Quesada, Sharlene San Pedro, Irma Adlawan, Kris Bernal, Mart Escudero


Your first clue that the film you are about to watch is bad is when the opening credits roll and it is over-scored. The title flashes. Fades out. Lead star's name appears, then her leading man's name replaces it. And so on. Virtually, nothing has started to happen. NOTHING. But then, you really are bothered by the clashing music of a creepy cathedral organ, pulses of very low bass, echoes of thunder, high-pitched Grace Nono-ish tribal chanting, and whatever sounds conceived by paranormal happenings. There's no organization. It is as if all forms of music come together for an Annual Horror Symphony Convention, playing under the baton of a conductor who is either heavilly drugged or deaf.

And that is just the topmost tip of the iceberg. There is really nothing in it that says, this is a film graded A by the Cinema Evaluation Board. IT ISN'T EVEN ABOUT FREAKIN' KULAM!!!

Mag-Ingat Ka Sa... Kulam is nothing but one of those Regal Shockers you've seen in the 90s, rehashed, then updated with a bleak concept of local witchcraft, and given an awful time-lapsing CG clouds. This, perhaps, belongs to the new movement of horror films called, Regal Chakers.

Asian Horrors of recent years have developed distinct characterisitcs and have proven its popularity with Hollywood remaking some of them. But joining this new wave of filmmaking does not mean putting the same white lady with long black hair in your film. That to differentiate her from Sadako, make yours wear a rebonded wig and blue contact lenses. Sadako and her clones are so tired! And if it weren't enough, borrow scare tactics from Shutter. Put your ghost not in a photo but in a video. For a change? COME ON! What a bright idea. Whoever thought of that must be kidding bigtime.

Asian Horror is subtlety and style. It is not shock-and-awe one after another. And definitely not hard-locked doors that magically open in a ghost chase. Asian Horror is rich, local culture. It is not a cabinet of porcelain dolls nor a book that mimics Harry Potter's Marauder's Map. Asian Horror is vengeance and wrath. It is not a twisted twin sister who doesn't know what she wants nor a suicidal business partner who crazily holds on to a promise made by an amnesiac.

If there is one thing Mag-Ingat Ka Sa Kulam has achieved, it would be that the film is scary. Scary that this crap of a film is still being made and by the same old crap of a producer.

To end this is a very memorable line from the movie. Dennis Trillo to Juday: Mira, anong ginawa mo sa bodega? Alam mo bang dun nakatago ang mga gamit na galing pa from various generations? ---VARIOUS GENERATIONS?!?!?!


rating:

1 out of 10
heart failure!

 

***photo exclusively from teresa barrozo