All In Due Time……

i was here.  well, i’m a day early, but you get the picture.  it kills me to read this and remember the optimism i had back then…. thinking that “this will be the month!” 

i want that back…. the positive outlook, the hope, the thoughts of “how will i tell him?”….. and wondering when i could turn this blog into a baby blog. 

i can’t believe how long it’s been, and how rough of a journey it still is.

i didn’t have time to take a pic, but my goody box included:

1 – 900u Gonal-F pen
3 – 300u Gonal-F pens
1 – Ovidrel prefilled syringe
2 – Ganirelix prefilled syringes

And, yet again, things have come up that we have to put treatment on hold.  I had a few medical bills come in from my laparoscopy back in November that had to be taken care of, so we’re back to square one with saving up to pay the monitoring fee. 

Can I tell you how much I HATE being OOP 100%?  It truly sucks.  I’m even looking into other jobs that offer some sort of fertility benefits.  At this point, even 50% coverage is better than nothing.

:: sigh ::

i just need a good cry. our new insurance isn’t even covering fertility testing (we’re a catholic hospital). i don’t think we’re going to be able to cycle next month, unless dh is willing to take out $$$ to do so. the monitoring fee alone is $1050 for b/w and u/s’s, plus $450 for IUI, $250 for sample prep, and meds (i’ve applied for a program that provides injectables for couples with no coverage, so i’m hoping it comes through).

plus, bff called to invite us to dinner with our usual group of friends, then mentions “i have ultrasound pics to show you….. when you’re ready.” i’m going to feel like a total ass if everyone’s oohing and aahing over them, because i’ll be in the corner slurping down margaritas.

:: cries ::