| CARVIEW |
MEDIA PRAXIS
Integrating Media Theory, Practice and Politics
Online Premier “Please Hold,” featuring writers from “AIDS and the Distribution of Crises”
February 13, 2025
Please join editors and writers from the collection, AIDS and the Distribution of Crises (Duke 2020), as we screen together and then discuss my new experimental documentary, Please Hold (70 mins, 2025).

The event will be a Zoom webinar, Saturday March 8, 3-5 pm EST. Sign up is here.
The event will feature conversation among these amazing AIDS workers, all writers for the anthology. My co-editors, Dr. Jih Fei Cheng and Dr. Nishant Shahani, and HIV/AIDS scholars, organizers, and artists with associated interests in Long COVID, disability justice, queer and trans media and history, documentary, and more: Cecilia Aldarondo, Pablo Alvarez, Pato Hebert, Cait McKinney, Quito Ziegler.







If you can’t make this screening and conversation, or the in person premier at the Parkside Lounge on the Lower East Side on March 2, not to worry!
Please Hold is available on the official project website at no cost, reflecting my commitment to accessibility and collective engagement. You are encouraged to watch the video with others by organizing screenings and other gatherings that can honor the legacy of those lost to AIDS and other illnesses, as well as those living with them. Aligned with the project’s ethos, audience members are invited to contribute reflections, images, and other responses after their screening to an online collection.

Like much else in my practice, this is a DIY video, and DIY release, organized around conversation, community, and interaction. Here’s more info about Context, Suggested Viewing Conditions, and Discussion. And here’s where you order the video for free.
Filed in activist media, AIDS, chronic illness, COVID, disability justice, documentary, feminist, feminist digital space, Long COVID, media archive, pandemic technlogies, Please Hold, praxis
Tags: AIDS and the Distribution of Crises, Cait McKinney, Cecilia Aldarondo, documentary, Jih Fei Cheng, Nishant Shahani, Pablo Alvarez, pato hebert, Quito Ziegler
March premiers of “Please Hold,” my experimental AIDS video
February 12, 2025
I am so pleased to announce the premiere of my latest experimental documentary, Please Hold (70 mins, 2025), my first personal video in nearly fifteen years: online and in person. Edited by Matthew Hittle and Paul Hill, this intimate and evocative work will debut at the iconic Parkside Lounge in New York’s Lower East Side on March 2, 2025, at 5 PM (tickets here). As part of a dynamic, multisensory, community-based experience, before the screening (3–5 PM) attendees are invited to bring and share personal objects that hold memories of HIV/AIDS, the Lower East Side, or the Parkside Lounge. Co-sponsored by the MIX NYC Queer Experimental Film Festival and Visual AIDS, the event, emceed by “High-Profile NYC Drag Queen!” Linda Simpson, will conclude with a live performance by CHRISTEENE, whose music is featured in the video. It will be a memorable mix of joy, community, and remembrance, as is the video itself.
At its core, Please Hold explores the intersections of activism, memory, and media through a profoundly personal yet communal lens. Drawing from decades of DIY activist video, two deeply intimate death-bed/legacy recordings, and conversations with living AIDS workers, the documentary creates a layered meditation on the ways we hold — and shed — loss, memory, and collaborators, interrogating the questions:
How do neighborhoods, sweaters and scarves, videotapes and queer bars hold ghosts?
How do we let them go?
Shot on a mix of consumer-grade recording devices — iPhone, Zoom, VHS camcorder, and Super-8 film — the documentary is an homage to grassroots AIDS mediamaking, across decades, and its ability to capture intimate, honest communication about hope and loss. It is anchored by legacy videos, shot on their request, of two of my closest collaborators and friends: James Robert Lamb (1963-1993), taped in 1992, and Juanita Mohammed Szczepanski (1957-2022), shot in 2022. Their voices are joined by contemporary “AIDS workers” Jih-Fei Cheng, Marty Fink, Pato Hebert, and Ted Kerr, culminating in a poignant sequence filmed at the Parkside Lounge, a site layered with queer history and ghosts, memories, and present day stories of AIDS.
Following the in-person premiere, I will host a global online screening and conversation with writers for my co-edited collection AIDS and the Distribution of Crises, including the book’s co-editors, Jih-Fei Cheng, and Nishant Shahani, documentary filmmaker Cecilia Aldarondo, AIDS scholar Pablo Alvarez, artist and Long COVID organizer, Pato Hebert, queer media scholar Cait McKinney, and artist Quito Ziegler on March 8, at 3–5PM ET (tickets here). In addition, on March 22, Please Hold will close the Picture Lock film series at the Wexner Center for the Arts, where I edited the documentary in residence at their storied Film/Video Studio.
Please Hold will be available on the official project website at no cost, reflecting my commitment to accessibility and collective engagement. Viewers are encouraged to watch the video with others by organizing screenings and other gatherings that can honor the legacy of those lost to AIDS and other illnesses, as well as those living with them. Aligned with the project’s ethos, audience members are invited to contribute reflections, images, and other responses after their screening to an online collection and to consider donating to support Holding Patterns, a community-based installation of the project that debuted at the Mimesis Documentary Festival in Boulder, Colorado, in August 2024.
Showcasing paper transcripts of interviews, AIDS books, and queer magazines, death-bed/legacy videos, online archives, photos, and the four complete hour-long Zoom interviews with “AIDS workers” that were used in making the documentary, Holding Patterns interrogates the ways we learn, mourn, and remember differently across mediums and archives. By juxtaposing analog and digital technologies — from VHS tapes to Zoom grids, sweaters to porn magazines — Holding Patterns navigates the flattening and deepening of attention, connection, and care in the wake of technological shifts. The installation is designed to be responsive to community-based placement in spaces imbued with memory and activism: such as queer bars, libraries, archives, bookstores, or feminist and trans community centers. New iterations are planned for The Center’s Pat Parker/Vito Russo Center Library in New York City in Spring/Summer and the ONE Archives at the USC Libraries in Los Angeles in the Fall.
More information about Please Hold, including archival materials, interviews, and details on organizing your own screening or installation can be found on www.pleaseholdvideo.com.
Tickets for the in-person premier at the Parkside Lounge on March 2, 2025, at 5 PM are available HERE.
For the online premier on March 8, at 3–5PM ET, registrations can be made HERE.
Any questions? Please reach out. I am eager to share the video and/or installation to those ready to hold its and my commitments to interaction, communal engagement, and careful attention to loss, love, memory, and community.
Filed in activist media, AIDS, camcorder, chronic illness, COVID, disability justice, documentary, feminist, Long COVID, media archive, Please Hold, praxis
Tags: Cait McKinney, Cecilia Aldarondo, CHRISTEENE, James Robert Lamb, Jih-Fei Cheng, Juanita Mohammed Szczepanski, lgbtq, Linda Simpson, marty fink, MIX NYC, Nishant Shahani, Pablo Alvarez, Parkside Lounge, pato hebert, Please Hold, queer, Quito Ziegler, ted kerr, Visual AIDS
sit together and share
January 12, 2025
Yesterday I read this invitation on Instagram and also on Facebook from my friend and colleague, Irene Lusztig.
Hi friends. Many of you know that in 2020 my Santa Cruz Mountains neighborhood of 12 years burned in a massive wildfire—900 of my neighbors lost their homes. In the nine months after the fire, I spent time filming with neighbors—all strangers before we met to film together—whose homes had burned. In a moment of staggering community loss, I felt like sitting with and holding people’s grief was something that, as a filmmaker, I could offer. This process was really hard—I would cry every time I drove back into the mountains to film. But engaging in that way also felt like the right way to process what had happened. I thought a lot during this time about images of trauma and disaster porn—what is the difference between the immediacy of making anonymous images of burning and burned homes (these kinds of images are still very hard for me to look at), as opposed to people inviting me onto their burned land, at a time when they felt ready, with the intention to sit together and share. I also thought a lot about time—the time it takes to process the shock of a disaster, the time it takes for new plant life to grow again on burned land, the tremendous amount of time it takes to recover or rebuild (or decide to move elsewhere, as some of us did in the end). There was a lot of media attention on our fire while it was happening and in the immediate aftermath. But then the world moved on quickly to other, more pressing disasters, while, in actuality, recovery took months and then years. My old neighborhood is still in an active process of recovery and rebuilding more than four years after the fire. This film showed in a few film festivals after I made it, and it honestly never felt right for this film to screen in that way. Something about offering my neighborhood’s (and my own) grief as a work of art for strangers to consume on a festival screen felt improper. But sharing it for free today for whoever might want or need a film like this feels right. As many people are writing about “unimaginable” loss in this moment, maybe a film like this can offer a small way to approach a space of imagining together. — Irene Lusztig
As someone who lived, raised a family, worked, and made deep community in Altadena, Pasadena, and Los Angeles for 21 years, I have not known where and how to look, help, speak, engage from afar, although I do keep trying. How my memories align with on-the-ground suffering. How to imagine what I can’t know. Irene’s film is a treasure, and a balm, and a gift. I watched it yesterday and her community’s resilience, equanimity, and grace is one way to imagine a future.
Her feminist film work, and learning about it via social media, reminds me that communities of practice are real, even as we are dispersed; that we continue to learn with each other; that documentary does many kinds of ethical and political work across different and competing durations; that we can rewire infrastructures (of distribution, of accounting) when we need more than capital or platforms will allow.

Filed in 2024 Blog Redo, documentary, feminist, media archive, media ethics, pandemic technlogies
Tags: altadena, Contents Inventory, Irene Lusztig, Ruti Talmor
groovy women can do groovy things
January 10, 2025
Alex: Good morning, Erin. It’s morning for me. And what time for you?
Erin: It is 15:48.
Alex: Yeah, very British of you! I thank you for taking the time to engage with me in a short conversation about a collaboration that we’ve been working on …
Erin: … for a year and a half.
Alex: A docufiction, Civic-Minded Responsible Thrill-Seeking Females, that I am producing, and you are writing and directing about Valerie Solanas, the radical feminist who wrote the SCUM Manifesto and who shot Andy Warhol.


In terms of my blogging practice, which started on November 20, was rebooted by me in 2025, and will last until the inauguration, I’m now in conversation with people about two things, both of which I think you have a great deal to offer about. One is the nature of audience and how that can be a model for encounters that we want in the world we are about to step into. And the other is about collaboration.
On January 20th, we will have a new president in the United States. You live in London. I’m wondering what you think our collaboration will mean for you in that new time, but different country, and what that says to you about collaboration more generally.
Erin: I think we will shift gears because we’ll both feel a greater sense of urgency. It’s more necessary to finish this project and get it out into the world and start to have conversations around it. And while I always felt that the project was going to do those things, and our collaboration always felt meaningful, if we had a Democratic president on the horizon, the first Black female president, I don’t think I would feel the same sense of urgency. So, it gives me a greater sense of purpose. It makes me feel like we have something to contribute to this moment, particularly since Trump explicitly hates women, hates mainstream media, hates left wing media, and obviously hates feminists. It also makes me feel more connected to the issues that the women I interviewed in 1992 were contending with. At that point, women did not have access to legal abortion. Valerie Solanas—who was impregnated by her father and bore his daughter—did not have access to legal abortion. And that’s now true again for so many women in the United States. I never imagined that that would come to pass in my lifetime.
Alex: What’s remarkable about the footage that you shot during the 1990s—powerful interviews with nine people who knew Valerie during the time she was writing the Manifesto that have never been seen; 9 hours of interviews that we’re using for our film—is how these remarkable and astute and political women, say Jill Johnston, Vivian Gornick, TiGrace Atkinson, Flo Kennedy, or Roxanne Dunbar-Ortiz, they were all talking with you (a young woman at that time) reflect on what had been necessary for them to get to legal abortion and other women’s and civil rights in their times (both in the 1990s when you interviewed them, and during the 60s and 70s about which they are reflecting). They are very clear about what is needed to hold firm the gains their movements had won.



Now, 35 years later, their words are completely attuned to this moment. How eerie that is! But also, how inspiring. Certainly when I taught these tapes (which are not visible to the general public until after we make the film), for a class on this history at Barnard (your alma mater) where we’ve donated them to their archive, the Women’s, Gender, and Sexuality Studies students who took it were utterly inspired to hear the ferocity, the political astuteness, the risk, the anger, the power of these radical activist women.
Erin: I have two thoughts. One is these women were all participants in a social movement that created significant lasting change that transformed what our childhoods and our adulthood was like. We are the only generation who had reproductive rights for our entire lifetime.
Alex: And I got to make a family as a lesbian.
Erin: And the women I interviewed made this happen in small groups through the practice of consciousness raising. They were each other’s audience. They were listening to each other. They were showing up for each other. And I know as a documentary filmmaker that the act of filming or even audio recording an interview with someone for films I’ve made, that act of listening and being an audience of one, in terms of eye-line (obviously there’s crew around), this is a very profound act. And so I don’t underestimate what small groups can accomplish and the kind of resonance they can have in the culture and the kind of change that they can evoke.
I think, so far, that’s been our collaboration—for the most of this year-and-a-half it’s been you and me on Zoom, and having various meetings with various wonderful people there, too—but it’s never yet gone beyond an audience of us to each other, or a couple other people. And that’s been incredibly meaningful to me. That could just be because I have so much un-produced work that even having an audience of one sometimes feels like it’s very meaningful, but you don’t want to stop there. I want to make sure it goes beyond just us.
Alex: Crazy! In this short-term repurpose of the blog, twice now, people I’ve been talking with (Nick Mirzoeff on writing his new book, C. Jones on writing poems) discuss the power of writing for an audience of one. In fact, this has happened four times in just about as many days (also, Gavin McCormick on one’s partner as audience and Michael Mandiberg on being witnessed by a friend in times of need). Thinking abut it, I guess it’s not that surprising. I champion the small, and you all know my commitments. Also, this retro blogging and format sort of feels like that to me too: I am writing to a small crowd of compatriots.
But I am surprised that you noted it because my collaboration with you specifically, and our project—because it was so true for Valerie and Andy as well—revolves around a tension about what one might think of as audience size. Namely, what it means to stay within small and fundamentally radical groups, practices, and relationships to dominant culture, and what it means to grow away from or leave that. Valerie and Warhol were brilliant about these questions, and practices. Both are remembered to this day: Lena Dunham just played her; Andrea Long Chu won a Pulitzer for her brilliant feminist criticism, including that on Valerie’s play, “Up Your Ass.” The way Valerie entwined herself with Andy plays a large part in the ongoing visibility of both of their work. So, very radical Americans can have a larger audience, or influence, or presence. Has your thinking about that changed as we’ve been trying to get into the world a popular rendition of her extremely radical thinking?
Erin: We’ve recently committed to making a smaller version of this project, a 30-minute version of a 113-page feature docufiction script which we both loved. The 30-minute version can come into the world sooner. But I wouldn’t say the project’s self-reflexive, archival, hybrid documentary approach has changed. So, no, I would say that my way of working is to try and make work that is accessible to the broadest number of people I can.
Alex: I have spent my adult working life and social life in rarefied or obscure or radical or edgy communities. I often make the choice. In fact, I suppose I most always make the choice to not follow broadest accessibility in light of those commitments. And of course, I have feelings about that, but that tends to be what I decide. Honestly, it’s not always a decision. I just can’t think, or talk, or produce otherwise. It is a limit, a failing, a strength? And my collaboration with you has been both challenging and beneficial for me because I am trying (with the help of many friends of the film who are better at mainstreaming than me!) to take the expression and experience that comes from a very niche moment and a deeply radical place in American history—Valerie’s voice within radical feminism in the late sixties and early seventies and her manifesto—to a wider audience of feminists. I believe that the SCUM Manifesto is fundamentally available to anyone who wants to learn more about rage, disgust, and anger at the patriarchy. It’s so beautifully written and she’s so smart.
Wrestling about audience was at the heart of the work of both Warhol and Valerie, and many of the people who you interviewed. She wanted half of the world’s possible audience to be exterminated! And so, it’s interesting to watch your interviewees talk about that in the nineties, particularly the two Warholites: Ultra Violet and Jeremiah Newton. And then, there’s also Valerie and Warhol talking about attention in the sixties and seventies, and how her shooting him affected his thinking about as well as his actual fame. Just look where we’ve come in relationship to the ideas that they were wrestling with, about celebrity, art, and radical change, about controlling or entering the flows of capital, patriarchal power and voice.
Erin: People wrestle with why Valerie shot Warhol. But if you take that out, if you just look at The SCUM Manifesto, it is an incredibly accessible text. I think even in its complexity, its extreme proposition of eliminating the male sex, she does it with so much humor that it’s not hard to follow, or love. It’s incredibly entertaining. And Warhol also was no stranger to entertainment.
Alex: That’s why our film will be pop! And I just want to remind you she also expressed a world vision with an end to labor.
Erin: Yeah, abolish the money system and destroy the male sex. Not to mention her original thinking about automation and artificial reproduction. All so that groovy women can do groovy things. As we are now on the precipice of so much more automation than the women I interviewed in 1992 could even have understood, when would be a better time for promoting female leisure and for pursuing groovy things?
Alex: Given these dark times, that’s an inspiring horizon. Thank you, Erin. And thank you, Valerie.
“Life in this society being, at best, an utter bore and no aspect of society being at all relevant to women, there remains to civic-minded, responsible, thrill-seeking females only to overthrow the government, eliminate the money system, institute complete automation and destroy the male sex.”
― Valerie Solanas, SCUM Manifesto
Filed in 2024 Blog Redo, anti-fascist, critical pedagogy, documentary, feminist, media archive, praxis, queer cinema
Tags: abortion, Andrea Long Chu, andy warhol, consciousness raising, Flo Kennedy, Jeremiah Newton, Jill Johnston, Roxanne Dunbar, SCUM Manifesto, T Grace Atkinson, Ultra Violet, Up Your Ass, Valerie Solanas, Vivian Gornick
In attendance: audience as transpersonal
December 15, 2024
Yesterday, I attended a screening at the Psychedelic Film and Music Festival. On his email invitation, I went to see my Brooklyn College’s Film Department colleague, Mustapha Khan‘s new documentary, Life and Breath. I had no idea what the festival, or really even the film was about. I joined this audience because I was invited and able. Showing up when someone asks is actually one of my core commitments. Founded in an awareness of how feeding it feels when others respond to my own such requests, I have learned that this life-practice can also have the residual effect of nourishing me, by taking me to places, people, ideas, and encounters outside what we now call echo-chambers, thereby making new connections.
Just so, only a week or so earlier, I had gone to see our colleague Annette Danto‘s film, Dindigul Diaries, also on her invitation. In an event called “Reverse Gaze,” her film was paired with In God We Trust, an ethnographic look at one Amish family made by Uma Vangal on a Fulbright from India. Annette’s powerful film also took a long cross-cultural look—over twenty-three and thousands of miles—at the experience of four women who she first met on her Fulbright in Tamil Nadu, India in the early 2000s.


As was true in what I learned about the powerful, persevering subjects honored by Annette, I again received many gifts by learning from Mustapha’s inspiring film. Annette focuses on impoverished but striving workers whose grueling labor is embodied. Meanwhile, Mustapha’s film, event, and audience was situated within the history and doing of a different type of body work: the earthbound, and psychedelic, and therapeutic, holotropic breathwork.
His film focuses on a workshop held at Dreamshadow® in Vermont, led by Leonard and Elizabeth Gibson, and experienced by about twenty participants (some regulars, several new to the practice, even a few skeptics). Life and Breath maps the “basic components” of Dreamshadow® Transpersonal Breathwork: “intensified breathing, evocative music, focused bodywork, expressive drawing, and group process.” As we learn, theirs is a method to anchor the (seeking) self into community by way of clear and simple structures for encounter, learning, and potential growth.
A neophyte to this space (and Dindigul before it), I learned during the film, and after during a conversation between subjects, filmmakers, and audience, that this applied, practice-linked philosophy (like ethnographic film) is a method to take humans to places (within the self) previously un-encountered. Held in a beautiful place, and within a small, in-person, and collective encounter, every Dreamshadow® practitioner is partnered with a caring witness (this perhaps a special kind of audience, one composed of one-on-one watching/doing relations), and then these roles are traded. The breathwork is transpersonal, creating and holding space between diverse humans, and without judgement. I realize this might also be what Danto and Vangal call a reverse gaze: “a new way of making documentaries to ensure that they are presenting cultural identities with empathy and in a non-judgmental and respectful manner.”
Of course, I am a documentary maker like my Brooklyn College colleagues. When I’m in a documentary film audience, I am thinking as much about how as what is made. Given my current practice, I am also attending to how we screen our work, about the many ways to structure and be in audience, and in community, and how to traverse contexts, thereby extending our knowledge from New York screening rooms to southern India, the Pennsylvania Dutch, or metaphysical frameworks.
Yes, I make docs. But in full transparency, I am no “seeker,” even as many people who I love are. I am not religious. I have sought no answers in the mystical, or from drugs, for that matter. I know next to nothing about psychedelics or “new age” practices (other than having been surrounded by them growing up in the 70s in Boulder Colorado). And my own Jewish, non-Zionist, cultural and familial identity and history has become only an awful liability (and ethical investigation) over the past fourteen months (and more).
But, of course, I am on a quest in this particular time- and place-bound practice, one with its own simple structure (on this blog, during the interval between election and inauguration, seeking ways to be fed and feed, within community, to learn and be led, and to be in productive audiences). Leonard and Elizabeth Gibson, dedicated and skilled practitioners and teachers for decades, are most keen to explain how their simplest of methods, requiring very few tools, and no experts, situate the lonely self into a community through defined steps that include talking, listening, art-making, witnessing, experiencing, letting go, committing, and seeking while being grounded and led by clear structures. These are the very practices and methods I’ve been surfacing from the select audiences I’ve been in attendance during this awful interval, albeit connected to different forms, communities, and practices.
Mustapha’s film, and its subjects and their methods, focus on circular patterns of witness and attention. Annette and Uma frame their filmmaking and screenings to include looks back at the filmmaker. Here I link their work to highlight the reciprocity of connection via attendance: a generative exchange; a transpersonal gift.
Filed in 2024 Blog Redo, documentary
Tags: Annette Danto, Dreamshadow, Holotropic breathwork, Leonard and Elizabeth Gibson, Mustapha Khan, Psychedelic Film and Music Festival., Uma Vangal
art & audience at the intersection: mercedes 1
December 9, 2024




Yesterday, I had the pleasure of being in the audience at Mercedes: Part 1, “a multidisciplinary documentary, gallery, and healing room installation,” by Modesto Flako Jimenez at BAM. I had no idea what this was when I bought two tickets, but my own work focuses on art and community care, and I had participated in Textilandia, a self-propelled version of his Taxilandia that was an outdoor, self-guided, and hence safe art experience during COVID lockdown. My memorable 2021 experience on the streets of Bushwick turns out to be just one iteration of his sprawling “decolonial franchise,” continuing into this latest work about his grandmother, dementia, and the LatinX diaspora. But, in line with my particular preoccupations and practice here, on this recently reanimated blog, I will restate …
I had the pleasure of participating in Mercedes: Part 1, with my friend Cathy (who I had invited along; we ate brunch first). Our participation in this audience included:
- talking to actors (playing family members) as well as other audience members as we walked through the installation: a multi-room reimagination of Mercedes’ Bushwick home rich with items from a personal archive of her photos, notebooks, receipts, letters, art, magazines, glassware, and plants. We were invited to consider and touch all that was there.
- talking to my friend Cathy as we walked through the installation and thought about the grandson’s gentle and generous use of the archive of his lost family member
- listening to and watching an art video while sitting in these rooms and surrounded by precious things. In the video, we learn of Flako’s grandmother Mercedes, who he cared for with others in his family, some of them interviewed, as well as larger issues around dementia and the LatinX community
- talking to an art therapist, an M.D. who specializes in dementia care, and Flako (who had all been seen earlier in the art video) during the facet of the experience where we also made art at tables replete with craft supplies
- talking to my friend Cathy again, this time while we were making art. We reflected on our own parents’ transitions into old age (and our own). What are we doing? What are our duties and responsibilities?
- drinking coffee as we waited to enter the installation; eating a cookie at Mercedes’ kitchen table before we began to walk around her rooms; being offered snacks during the art-making phase
- installing our own art on the wall as our final act of participation before leaving the building
- thanking Flako and the other participating art workers on our way out
- continuing to talk as we left the theater and entered the street. What an amazing trip we had just taken between Art (the kind supported by the Art World), art (the kind made by the rest of us, and even Cathy when her hands touch materials but there is no connection to authorship, career, or audience), and what Flako calls “community work” (doing this art/Art thing in the spaces where people meet and do otherwise).
My interest in practices, and their audiences, that can feed us in the interval between election and inauguration (and then beyond) allows me to note all the verbs necessary to describe being an audience of this work (invite, listen, watch, talk, walk, consider, touch, make, think, install, thank, offer, eat, drink, thank). Then, I see how these align with all the nouns chosen by Flako to describe his practice: “a Dominican-born, Bushwick-raised, multi-hyphenate artist. As a poet, playwright, educator, actor, producer, and director his work exists in and explores the intersections of identity, language, mediums, cultures, and communities found in his personal life and beyond.”
We need artists and audiences, funders and venues, to allow for more opportunities at the intersection of verbs and nouns: where being an audience is so many doings, and being a person is the multitude we are.
Filed in 2024 Blog Redo, activist media, anti-racist, chronic illness, disability justice, documentary, media archive, pandemic technlogies
Tags: Bushwick, cathy opie, Mercedes 1, Modesto Flako Jimenez
activist video @Media Burn Archive
December 6, 2024



Last night I glided from audience to respondent @ Media Burn Archive‘s Virtual Talks with Video Activists, featuring the LA multimedia artist and social documentarian, Susan Mogul. I’ve been talking with Susan about her work since the early 2000s. I admire her humor, honesty, and commitments to feminist praxis, by which I mean not just what she makes work about, but how she does it: in her own community, about her own experience, using the means available to her (all this we will see evidenced in the event, more on this soon).

Susan is an inveterate professional. She used her short time on screen to share compelling clips from 5 works (Dressing Up, 1973; Take Off, 1974; Mogul is Mobile REDUX, 1975/2022; Sing, O Barren Women, 2000; and Tell me about Your Mother, 2024)1, while also providing the 40 or so people in digital attendance background about how she came to video (at the Feminist Art program at Cal Arts and then at the LA Women’s Building); what equipment has been available to her over her long career in video (first a portapack, then a studio at a medical school, later a camcorder, currently not really working); and how her work has moved to embrace both personal confession and communal expression.
While the entire affair was lovely, two things stand out in relation to my use of this old blog to think in longer form about what to do with ourselves in the interval between election and inauguration: how to feed and be fed, listen and speak, learn and feel; how to weather (and change?) the impending storm.
In our lively conversation after her screening, when I asked Susan if she felt like the “video activist” named in the program’s title, I was not surprised to hear her explain that she had been surprised, too, by that nomenclature. She admitted that she had thought of reaching out to the evening’s hosts to humbly decline such a mantle. But then, she reconsidered. If she was so hailed, so be it. Then, thinking out loud with me and the audience of friends and supporters witnessing, she took more time, and thought, and spoke some more. She expressed that perhaps her overtly feminist, sex-positive career of art beautifully made about the life and labor of the female artist could be “activist” if that word honored activities like organizing and marching, but then included the kinds of living and learning and watching (this is the work of the audience) that might be needed to encourage and instigate overt political action.
Yes. These are words and ways for the interval.
Sitting together for a quick hour on Zoom (the video of the evening will be made available by Media Burn), in a familiar and long-term conversation with me and others who were listening; invited and supported by the small and mighty staff of Media Burn, Adam Hart and Sara Chapman; with an “audience” of her contemporaries from LA’s and US video art and activism scenes, as well as scholars, activists, and video artists who might not know Susan, or be from her generation, but were hailed into audience because of their own commitments to feminism, documentary, video art, archives, or fandom … well, that’s exactly the sort of use of the digital that I am understanding as “audience as community“:
small enough to stay known; built through and about history but alive in this present; dependent on political or artistic commitment; dialogic; and as Susan said about her long career, “outside the mainstream.” Feminist praxis: not just what is made but how it is done, in own own communities, about our own experiences, using the means available, and then REDUX, doing this again, but updated, when we need it.

- You can see a bounty of clips of Susan’s work on her Vimeo page: https://vimeo.com/user15670836. ↩︎
Filed in 2024 Blog Redo, activist media, camcorder, documentary, feminist, feminist digital space, media archive, pandemic technlogies, video art
Tags: Media Burn Archive, susan mogul
The audience (2): at MIX Fest 2024
November 24, 2024

On Friday night I went to the Quad cinema to see the 9 pm program, Corporealities and Cures, at the newly relaunched MIX, New York’s storied queer experimental film festival. I have a long history with MIX—audience, supporter, programmer, respondent, filmmaker, previous Board member—and this iteration feels new, vibrant, young, and very much needed (as it always has been. There are very few festivals that show experimental, let alone queer and experimental media). We are informed in a detailed explication of its latest phoenix emergence in a longer history of such rebirths, that this return is a result of COVID isolation.
The program I saw was a flawlessly curated response to said seclusions, reaching toward connection. Each of the four works was stronger for its breathren: a beautiful body of experimental work on Black queer and trans health, rage, and healing flowing into each other: one voice, voices.

This newly resurrected blog’s week 1 interests have emerged as considerations of blogs, clocks, vision, the history and representation of slavery’s afterlife, and more because of where I have gone and what I have encountered seeking solace after the election. I continue this search, now considering the role of technology in this period of change via another resurrection of a previous format (the MIX film festival). I return to the role of the audience (raised in the previous post) as a way to live in the interval between the election and the inauguration (a primary concern of Aeryka Jourdaine Hollis Oneil‘s, In the Interval, a personal-academic-artistic hybrid work revealing familial and bodily harm for the artist, and their communities, as Black trans people witnessing an upsurge of violence during another interval, the dull confusion of COVID lockdown).
One way to live in a time of transition, change, waiting, and uncertainty is to go there, be there, take it in, the interval, help make it our own, momentarily and together. In the case of corporealities and cure, the audience took in the artists’ expression; the air and sound in the room; the images on the screen; the warmth of people known and unknown. And, as I expressed previously, if you are not going to in-person events right now, much of this is possible on a computer, if you can evacuate your space of competing screens, if you can join with others (virtually, in person) to co-hold witness and encounter.
I return to the audience, learning from my experiences at MIX, because the most beautiful thing happened with ours on Friday night. Amina Ross was at the front of the theater for the Q and A, as you can see in the still that opens this post. But instead of answering questions, or expressing more about their amazing work, Carcass(e)/Underglass—an intense amalgam of a detailed but loving depiction of the butchering of pigs encased by poetry about other undoings and intimacies—Ross invited Black trans and queer audience members to speak. The room opened out into not a Q and A, or a back and forth, but rather a swell of response about the fear of transitioning, the role of rage, the use of score. Most of us listened with intensity of focus. The words and their people were real; this feedback was our respect.
In a previous project, a poem “Forget THE AUDIENCE” was generated in a queer feminist fake news poetry workshop that I co-led in Brighton England with the group Devil’s Dyke in 2018.

At the workshop, “the audience” was consistently hailed by these participants as something like the putative ominous but desired collection of imagined but felt followers who watch, judge, or don‘t watch you (to your shame). This audience is very far from your reality. Your function is to grow it but never really know it. Your job is to be their product. Your art is to promote yourself to them. Your audience loves and hates you. It makes you (hate yourself). In this poem, built collectively from somatically-induced phrases about falsity and social media initiated by poet co-facilitators, that awful audience can be forgotten by the body: an instrument that holds others because it listens, feels, and loves what is in front of it.
I am suggesting that an audience one can join (often but not always with others) by being in and of a set of human receptive devices is not the same things as the audience one has been trained to want (especially via social media). One is a lived fact; the other an organizing fiction! One is made by comrades; the other is made for capital! To be in an audience of experimental Black trans cinema can be a practice in shared space and time predicated on being open and generous, supportive and interactive, activated and awed by the intense and sustained work of others, as well as those witnessing in the room with you.
The interval I encountered at MIX, the one set into motion by the four videos, and then Ross; this was an interior “now voided” as David Grubbs explains, an interior to be filled by the art and breath of others. This is both hard and easy to do. Hard, because people need to organize it (get the funds, and the room; curate it; promote it. Thank you MIX 2024!). And easy (for those whose inhalation is not clouded) because once assembled, it is no more, or less, than one voice, voices; “breath following breath.”
Filed in 2024 Blog Redo, anti-fascist, anti-racist, COVID, documentary, feminist, queer cinema, video art
Tags: Aeryka Jourdaine Hollis Oneil, Amina Ross, David Grubbs, MIX
Four Hard Truths about Fake News
December 5, 2016
This is how I begin the longer piece on Jstor Daily: Let me begin with four fake truths that I hold to be self-evident. What follows is their brief elaboration and my suggestion for a shared effort to produce an informed, digitally literate citizenry.
- Today’s internet is built on, with, and through an unruly sea of lies, deceptions, and distortions, as well as a few certainties, cables, and algorithms.
- This week’s viral-wonder—the crisis of “fake news” in the wake of the 2016 presidential election—is a logical and necessary outgrowth of the web’s sordid infrastructure, prurient daily pleasures, and neoliberal political economy.
- Today’s saccharine hand-wringing and the too-late fixes erupting from the mouthpieces for the corporate, media, and political interests responsible for this mess are as bogus as Lonelygirl15.
- Today’s media consumer cannot trust the internet, its news, or networks—fake or otherwise. Given the wretched state of today’s internet, skeptical, self-aware interaction with digital data is the critical foundation upon which democracy may be maintained.
Yes the real internet is a fake, the fake news is very real, and thus Trump is indeed our rightful internet president. (see more at Jstor Daily)
Small Screen Evidence by Ordinary Citizens: New (and old) Documents
September 3, 2016
In this, my third blog post of the summer about what to make of and do with the radical evidentiary images by ordinary people that can sometimes go viral and thus contribute to activism against documented injustice (and also do other things), I will speak briefly about New Documents, a powerful and important show that I saw at the Bronx Documentary Center.
While it continues to be my belief that “hoping footage goes viral” can only be one item in a much longer list of hopes, and their associated activities, when our goals are making changes to brutal, sanctioned, ongoing systemic conditions that produce and allow for atrocities and violence that might be documented by ordinary citizens and victims, what I will focus on here is how the show itself enacts some of these necessary next steps by rendering itself as a physical manifestation of what is also needed after documentation, after the sharing of said document (virally or otherwise), that is if change is the goal (and not virality in and of itself).
New Documents is an impressive piece of activist curation that moves from 1904 to the present day, judiciously choosing about fifteen pieces of photo, video, and film, each an inspiring example of what we now call citizen journalism (citizen-made images from Aushwitz to Dealey Plaza, from Vietnam to Tompkins Square Park, Tunisia, Libya, the Pepper Spraying cop, and then finally, St. Paul, Minnesota.) The show is daring, brutal, and unsparing. It asks us to look carefully at images, like the most recent in the show, those shot by Diamond Reynolds of the Philando Castile murder, that in an earlier post in this series I said I was not yet ready to see (please do read a dialogue I am having with Kimberley Fain about our choice to look). First made in photographs and later in film and video, each document in this spare show is seen on a tiny screen, cut into a wall, and placed on one side of the gallery. This arrangement serves as a timeline, a set of windows, and as a procedure for close concentration and attention.
Wall text below each document allows the activist orientation and analysis of the curators to be clear. If an atrocity is witnessed and documented, and if this documentation is seen, results will occur. Often very big ones.
The role of documenting and in this way testifying to atrocity is a critical and certain one. Without this courageous artistic political act there is little evidence from which activists can establish the truth of their experience and move forward to fight for reckoning, justice and change. However, there is nothing like a one-to-one causality between documenting atrocity and making change in the conditions that cause and support state and other systemic violence and oppression against citizens. This shooting/result equation is not exact, immediate, or even really quantifiable for any number of reasons that tend to reflect the same systematic cruelty that supported the original violence including but not limited to who controls images, and their interpretation, circulation, availability, ownership, and the punishments associated to acts of witness and activism.
My previous writing and thinking about witness video that is hosted and made viral on YouTube and other social networks, in particular about one of the first celebrated examples of viral witness video, the image of Neda Agha-Soltan being killed at a protest in Iran in 2009 (also shown in the New Documents show), cautioned that there are many systems that surround viral videos and function to complicate any easy or obvious or necessary move from virality to change. While video can and must testify to abuse and is integral to campaigns for justice, it is also necessary for activists to consider how any particular video is seen, used, supported and shared within complex contexts that can either undermine, challenge, or support the maintenance of the systematic cruelty that is documented. I’d like to name some of the systems and conditions that surround viral video again here:
- the platform itself, i.e. YouTube or other corporate social media sites that hold, own and share (citizen-made) video
- the ads and comments and other visible windows or screens that frame it on the site and/or on your screen
- the interpretations of those who give words to the image, be they citizen or mainstream journalists, day to day social media users or the corporations that pose as users
- the governments and other institutions that monitor, censor, support and/or punish image-makers
- the regimes of viewing that organize how we watch short, fast, spreadable images; that is to say mostly as interchangeable, consumable, expendable, fast bits of entertainment or stimuli, what I have elsewhere called “video slogans“
- the fragile and/or inaccessible technologies that shoot, share, and save images

A cracked and dislodged mobile phone in the New Documents show testifies to the fragility of the technologies that capture, hold and share viral video, and to the many ways that activists, denied full access to infrastructural support, must make do even so
And it is just here, looking at the cracked phone on display, where my praise of New Documents really begins. This room, in its place, the Bronx, NYC, with more surrounding wall text (on the other walls, see below), and the volunteer who believes in the Bronx, and photography, and the power of its people, is one such radical place for the watching, thinking about, and making use of witness images. This place is a context from which these images accrue deeper meaning and greater value, written as they are, not into a callous, corporate internet, or a ready-steady flow of social media, but rather, a well-thought-out history, analysis, community and purpose, a place where small screen evidence by ordinary people can meet more ordinary people who care enough to get there, learn more, and engage.
In the Bronx Documentary Center I spent fifteen or more minutes (after viewing and photographing the show) speaking to the activist, artist, scholar, volunteer pictured below (I have lost the green pad where I wrote down your name, please email me at work if you see this and I will name you!)
We spoke about her radical education in Women’s Studies at UCLA, and her return to the Bronx to do her activist work within her community. We talked about the value of a radical art space within this burrough. How activists, artists, students, and passers-by use this space. We discussed some of my critiques of virality, and she told me about hard decisions the curators had made around this and other issues to mount this timely, necessary, and controversial show.
Our time together, in this space, not any, with its analyses and histories and commitments loud and clear, not intruded upon by any corporation, or stream of shares or responses, made these New Documents newly visible to me and resulted in many things that I have attempted to quantify here. In my previous post, Tiny Screens/Power Scenes, I concluded:
I would suggest that a powerful way to view viral livefeed video of black death, and other images of violence, might be not on our small private screens but as if each viral video was art, as if it mattered that much, as if it deserved that level of privilege: to be viewed in groups, on large screens, from beginning, middle to end, and with context. That is to be seen within the rich world it records, and with the background, discussion, and analysis that artists and viewers can and do use media to initiate.
How lucky I am then, to see, learn from and engage with a more powerful way to view viral video of black death and other historical atrocities. And how lucky we all are that we have access to the internet, so that I can share this place, The Bronx Documentary Center (in such partial ways, I know), with others who can not get to NYC and can learn from and engage together even so.
Filed in activist media, anti-war, camcorder, digital media form, documentary, feminist, feminist digital space, media archive, praxis, web 2.0
Tags: Bronx Documentary Center, citizen journalist, Diamond Reynolds, neda, Philando Castile, viral black death, viral video, witness video
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