I miss you when I shut the door behind me. I miss you when I think of a joke you would laugh at. I miss you when I imagine the conversations we could have. I miss you while I watch the world go by as I count the minutes till I am home. I miss you when I see the lights on the hills unblinking as the sun pulls a shroud over the sky. I miss you when I see the trail of car lights in traffic. I miss you when the music in public transportation is inane.I want to hear your favorite song. I miss you when the days are frenetic. I miss you when I have nothing else to think about. I always have you.

It’s rude. I know. But I do it: Snatch with my ears what sound carries close by. The antennae self tune like the hand on a wireless dial till the signal is clear. On this day, I didn’t choose to listen. The man watching the screens thought it best to keep the conversation in the background and add commentary.

The commentary stayed. In my mind’s eye, I sat across from the discussants. Only, I couldn’t see the discussants, I saw spectres with strings gesturing at each other while the discussions got louder. While the discussants talked past each other the spectres laughed. Then they saw me. Their charges turned and glared and chortled. Without warning, one by one, they motioned their charges away and all I could hear were the echoes of their talk.

I see the doors open. I can almost smell the pastries. I take spectral form and step into the shop. I see cookies. I see loaves of bread. I see buns. I see the juice dispenser. I make my choice. I can’t be seen. I can’t be heard. I can’t pay. I return to the commuter van speeding towards another city. Maybe later…

Right elbow on the pane. All the windows up. Clouds swim through the sky. Trees watching for the sun. Puddles over brown patches on the playground. The lake is still yet it ripples as if stirred.

Back of the right hand against the window pane. A white Land cruiser jumps through the puddles on a dirt track next to tarmac. Some shop signs are bright. Others are dim. Others still have letters faded. The Video Billboard is still on as are the traffic lights. Dancehall on the car radio. The green man in the hat and the red man go back and forth. The red man wins. The cars darr.

I was thinking about a conversation while staring out of the narrow window of a high roof commuter van speeding along a road next to a fence. I was thinking about a conversation I had while in the passenger seat of a car with more leg room. In the van, my left leg was leaning on the metal above a rear tyre. My feet were behind the front tires in the other car. I was thinking of why things happen and what to make of the many switchbacks in life. I was thinking of all the things I had learned to forget.

I am hopping these puddles like I am leaving a fryer. I look forward to tossing a comforter. In the moment, I avoid discomfiture. I can’t watch the clouds with eyes on earth. I can stay the course; keep the end in mind. I will catch splatter. I will streak across this sliver of muddy water. Even as I feel the wet cling to my heels. The day is short. The hours speed by on gnarly tires with the wheeze of a super charger. I can feel the splotches. My gaze is steady even as the mud flies.

I saw one across the road months ago. I saw the other in our backyard earlier this year. Last week, I saw them together for the first time. They meowed at me. They watched my backdoor while perched in a manhole at the neighbor’s house. I found them on the verandah. Their eyes were the same green. They sauntered away.

I fell asleep while reading and dropped my tab. I was short with everyone and everything. My feet forgot to lift. I pulled myself along; palms on walls. Now in the dark with the distant white of night life to listen to, I am wide awake.

The schedule opened up. I went from treading water to walking on sunshine. I went from one bit at a time to the end of the assignment. I went from not a moment to spare to moments to share. Then the world turned. It seemed like enough time to catch up on a project. I blinked and it was gone. Where do the hours go?

…away from here. There is a place where I can stay in the zone for hours. A place without a hot goss crew. Where I miss the tea of people’s lives I care not for that I imagine were not meant for the ears of strangers.

… moment in time will occur, where I will go to a different place and a different time. A situation where I can see now from a far off place. Then Me can tell Now Me what to do to get us to this place.

… wormhole will appear; everyday at the same time to transport me to a place where I only do the avocational for a day and return to the second before I left.