one of the few drawbacks to being from karachi, apart from the fact that there is no real urdu version for the term “karachiite” – though “karachvi” would be the linguistically appropriate word – is the problem that you don’t really fit in if you don’t drink tea. not that tea is a homegrown concept. its one of the enduring vestiges of colonialist times like cricket, gora complex and the design of the suzuki mehran. but tea has become so entrenched in karachiite lifestyle that it forms an essential part of family life, social ettiquette and business for the advertising industry (the tea wars are far more severe than the famed cola wars of the west). such is the common addiction to tea that most karachiites above thirty, no matter how they might feel about the rest of the white race, would probably excuse sir thomas lipton from the fishaar-e-qabr if they were given the option to.

of course, such an obsession spawned a new vocabulary. we have all heard of doodh patti and karak. bollywood introduced us to cutting. evn the most illiterate and underexposed street kid on a karachi street is aware of what bag wali chai is. and this brought the word “chaas” into existence. a combination of pyaas (thirst) and chai (tea), it is used to denote a strong desire to have a cup of tea and usually strikes a person with extreme severity after meals and at the times of 11 a.m. and 4 p.m.

without too much ado, i would like to present the second (and very belated) instalment of karachi’s own version of an urban dictionary.

hut jaana also tap jaana, bhin hona, bhinnot ho jana, meter ghoom jaana, sitak jaana, pin ho jana, and sulag jaana: the term is used to denote entirely the same sentiment as the english term “pissed off”. the usage is elementary – hamid ko mat chhairo, us ki buhut jaldee hut jatee hai.

tafreeh laina or simply laina (with the past tense tafreeh lay lee or lay lee): not to be confused with the rather more obscene laina as it is used in northern punjab this refers to cracking a joke at someone’s expense, making fun of someone or making someone look like a fool after playing a prank on them or doing something calculated to tease them. e.g. hamid ki laina buut aasaan hai, bus woh bunyaan wali baat yaad dila do.

chhoka: literally a boundary (4 runs) scored in cricket, it refers to a choice wisecrack which is likely to be remembered and frequently quoted. it normally follows what is known as a loose ball (a statement that could be liable to much ridicule) much the same way as it would in a real game of cricket. e.g hamid bhi itni loose ball karata hai, bacha bacha chhoka maar ker us ki lay leta hai.

chikna (superlative = madan chikna): no karachiite should call him/herself a karachiite without knowing what this means. literally meaning slick (the normal use not the slang use), it is used to refer to something cool, nice, desirable or hot. if used to describe a man it is complimentary and if used to describe a woman it is rude, risque and somewhat derogatory in the sense that it completely objectifies the female. not to be used when addressing your girlfriend. as in yaar, hamid jaisay chumpoo nay itnee chiknee bandi kaisay pata lee?

tight: a slightly more polished version of chikna, it is closely related to the north punjabi “fit“. used when being appreciative of something or someone, as in hamid, yaar, aaj tu nay baree tight kitting ki hai, koi bachi se setting chal rahi hai kya?

set: well. picked from the english “all set” it has become very popular as a cheery enquiry about someone’s health and conditions, in the question form of “sab set hai?” the term acquired even more prominence after  a sitcom called sab set hai hit the airwaves in the first half of the current decade.

setting: not even remotely related to set, it refers to an established romantic relationship between a girl and a boy. hamid ki rukhsana se setting chal rahee hai. the verb form, set karna,  is used to describe the act of courtship. hamid ki setting nahin hai, abhi to rukhsana ko set kernay ki koshish hee kar raha hai magar woh lift nahin kara rahee.

chhanraybaazee: a term slightly hard to decribe in english, it is something between flirting and strutting around to attract a girl’s or several girls’ attention. normally used to refer to the antics of the louts who hang around near the girls’ colleges in the city. hamid aur us ke dost roz rukhsana ke college ke baahir chhaanraybazee kernay puhunch jatay hain.

jaan pe hitler ho jana: a reference to hitler’s notorious regime of terror, it is used to refer to the act of persistent nagging. abay yaar, jub se hamid ko pata chala ke rukhsana ka meray ghar aana jaana hai, jaan pe hitler ho gaya hai ke us ka mobile number day.

chingum ho jana: chingum is the desi pronunciation for chewing gum and the term is drawn from the stickiness of a discraded piece of gum (often a tool for pranks at karachi’s schools). it is used to describe the act of being clingy to someone. rukhsana bata rahee thee ke aaj kal hamid us se bilkul hee chingum ho gaya hai, jaan chura nahi paa rahee hai. a variant is qambal (blanket) ho jana.

While the face of Karachi may have changed rapidly during the last few years, the bedrock of Karachi’s existence and growth lies in areas developed for migrants arriving from India in 1947. Millions arrived in Karachi after Partition, and the government of the time was faced with the task of rehabilitating them.

Historian and former Federal Investigation Agency (FIA) official M. A. Tatari told The News that successive governments purchased land for the purposes of rehabilitating the migrants. “Nazimabad, a population of Mohajirs, was established in the name of late prime minister and governor-general, Khawaja Nazimuddin, in 1952 to rehabilitate the public and government servants who migrated from India. This work was carried out by the Pakistan public works department,” he said.

“The migrants had to be given some land to make their houses. The land rate at the time was Rs3.50 per yard while a bag of cement cost Rs3 only. But many were apprehensive of coming to this area because of the wilderness. This place only had bushes and wild trees. No one was prepared to purchase land in Nazimabad,” he narrated.

Another story is that of modern-day Liaquatabad, an area many continue to refer to as Lalukhet. According to Tatari, the area came to be known as Lalukhet because it was once the agricultural land of a man named Lalu. The government of Pakistan had purchased this land from Lalu, but this became an area where people started haphazard and arbitrary construction, he said.

North Nazimabad was originally established in 1958, Tatari said, with Karachi Improvement Trust (KIT) starting that housing scheme. “Land was purchased from Masti Brohi Khan, and the official name given to the area was Taimooria. The public name, North Nazimabad, emerged because quite simply, the scheme was being built to the north of Nazimabad,” Tatari said.

However, Ayub Khan became Field Marshal and KIT was declared defunct. A new body, the Karachi Development Authority (KDA) was then created, which started its own housing schemes. The first one, KDA Scheme No. 1, was built at Karsaz, but the second one, is what developed into modern-day North Nazimabad. “Both housing schemes were prepared by a Greek architect named Mr Polo,” he said.

“Just adjacent to Lasbella Bridge was the official house, or consulate, of Nawab Lasbella. The area was called Lasbella because of the Nawab from much before Partition. The bridge existed at that time as well, and was known as Lasbella Bridge,” he continued.

Talking about Federal Capital Area (F ‘C’ Area), Tatari narrated that former prime minister Mohammed Ali Bogra had initiated the housing scheme for low-paid government employees. At the time, Karachi was capital of the country, but there was a shortage of houses for government servants. Houses were then made of ‘G’ and ‘F’ types in 1958, and some government employees retired and settled there.

Tatari said that Federal ‘B’ Area was also initiated by Bogra, and a 120-square-yard housing scheme was launched. The official name of the scheme was Mansoora, KDA scheme No 16, and citizens could acquire a plot for Rs5,000.

According to the retired bureaucrat, Federal ‘A’ Area included the modern-day areas of Jacob Lane, Jet Lane and Bazerta Lane. All these areas were barracks of small army officers which had been constructed in 1888, but the Army later handed this area to civilians.

When asked who proposed the site of the mausoleum of Quaid-e-Azam Mohammed Ali Jinnah, Tatari said that former Karachi chief commissioner Syed Hashim Raza had proposed the location as it was on a higher plane. The land was then occupied by Kutcha hutments, and these people were allotted alternate space in Korangi and Landhi.

When asked why the government of Pakistan had to purchase land from Lalu and Brohi agriculturists, Tatari said that when Pakistan was created, these two were in possession of large tracts of land that were identified for the rehabilitation of the migrants.

Tatari said that Drigh Colony was established by late prime minister Liaquat Ali Khan, and after cordial relations were developed with late Saudi king, Shah Faisal, Drigh Colony was renamed as Shah Faisal Colony.

He said that Lawrence Road, now Nishtar Road, was where the houses of different Nawabs were situated. Nawab of Bhawalpur, Nawab of Khairpur and other Nawabs all had their homes and offices on the road.

Talking about Pir Elahi Bux Colony, Tatari said that that land for the colony was donated to Mohajirs by a major agriculturist. A private contractor, Mr Hasan, was then awarded the task to make houses. “In those days, and I’m talking about 1948-49, Hasan made 150-square-yard houses at a cost of Rs1800. These houses had bedroom and wash rooms, but no roofs,” he said.

Tatari said that Firdous Colony was made by a former MLA from Bihar, who made a cooperative society with the help of friends. He purchased land from the government in 1948, and the land was sold at a rate of Rs3.50 per square yard.

Usmanai Colony was established by those who migrated from Muradabad (India). One of the official Hakims of the Pakistan government, Hakim Syed Zakir, is credited with conceiving Usmania Colony, while 99 per cent of the residents of Muradabad were provided land and houses in this colony. Tatari said that those who built the society were affluent people, as they were adept at making utensils.

Rizvia Colony was made by a school teacher of Sindh Madressah, Maulana Aneesul Hasnain, along with Advocate Qazalbash in 1948. Their concept, maintained Tatari, was to provide plots exclusively to Shias, and not to people of other sects.

Tatari said that Gurumandir was known because of a Hindu temple situated near Islamia College, a structure that still exists. He said that many Hindus came to worship here, and thus, the place became famous as Guru ka Mandir. The road adjacent to Islamia College was named as Pandit Lal Nehru Road back then, but this was changed to Jigar Muradabadi Road when the municipality came into existence.

The retired bureaucrat revealed that there was a substantial population of Hindus, Parsis and Ismiailis who lived in the area now known as Patel Para. “Whenever any Hindu died and had unclaimed property, the Patels would automatically become the custodians of that property. At that time, Patels in that area were in a majority, and thus this area became Patel Para,” he said.

To another question about Soldier Bazaar, he said that it was an area inhabited by small Army officers during the British era. These soldiers would shop in the area, and thus, the vicinity became famous as Soldier Bazaar.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AwQQVMlAuEU

for some reason, i am not able to embed the video, so follow the link..

okay so as suggested by abbas, here is an attempted post on the most influential business community of karachi, the memon community!!

yes i am a memon, but not quite. i do not speak the language, nor do i understand it. i do not follow the typical customs and traditions and usually i do not sound like a memon (awaiting comments where people cite examples of me sounding like a memon…go ahead, make my day!). but yes, i am a memon. an insult to the community because of the above factors but the fact remains that i am one of them.

so here goes a small history lesson on memons where i attempt to understand them and find myself somewhere along the way.

did you guys know that memons are defined as an ethnic group? how cool is that! i mean i’m not just a plain urdu speaking pakistani from karachi, i belong to a distinct group, though one that does not enjoy a very good reputation being the butt of plenty of jokes. but who cares, i’m different!

annyywayyy, memon is an adaptation of the arabic word “momin” meaning faithful. who knew that? i have to thank abbas for suggesting a post on this because am learning some new stuff here.

there are various theories in history as to the origins of memons but there are two that are the most common. one, that the memons were originally arabs and came to the sub-contitnent as part of Muhammad bin qasim’s army where they were known as “Maymenah”, meaning right wingers. over time, as is the habit of our people to ruin names, Maymenah became memon.

the second theory is that the inhabitants of thatta converted to islam and were banished by their hindu brothers and were invited by the then ruler of gujrat to come and settle there. note that this is 1548 that we are talking about. upon conversion they were called momin which was again modified to memon by the winds of time.

whichever theory u choose to believe, there is a rich history there including faith, spirituality and war and conflict.

i belong to a group of memons called “cutchi” memons who trace their ancestors to kutch in gujrat. then there are the “halai” memons who trace their origins to kathiawar, again in gujrat and then there is third group which stayed back in sindh.

the language is as foreign to me as is malayalam or tamil. it sounds weird though i do regret the fact not knowing the language because often there comes a time where u want to say something u do not wish for another person to understand. but oh well, ab nahin aati toh nahin aati.

interestingly enough, it is only the halai memons who speak the language called memoni. the cuthci group speaks a kutchi dialect while the group from sindh speaks sindhi and the memoni language is actually a combination of the two.

the word “jamat” is heard quite often when referring to memons. the role of the jamat is considered quite important within the various groups of the memon community. the jamat basically serves as a social welfare centre for the group and provides rules and guidelines and includes the issuance of marriage licenses and resolution of matrimonial disputes. i have to admit that i have only been to the jamat once in my life and that was also during ramadan to give alms. i have never attended a gathering there and so far that is not something i regret.

memons have had an important role to play in the development of not just the city of karachi but also the nation as a whole. however, sticking just to karachi, the memon’s  have contributed immensely to the growth of the city (i am choosing to ignore the corrupt factors). you can go to any gathering of your choice, any school or college or a place of work, and you are sure to run in to a few memons. the biggest players of the karachi stock exchange belong to the memon community, some of the biggest business groups such as the Adamjee Business Group and the Fecto Group of Indsutries to name a couple of long running groups and the JS Group and the Westbury Group of Companies to a name of couple of the more recent market forces.

did you guys know that iqbal qasim, former pakistani cricketer from the 1980’s was also a memon?

then there are Abdul Sattar Edhi and Mushtaq Chhapra, founders of the Edhi Welfare Trust Foundation and The Citizens Foundation respectively.

and to all those, including me, who consider memons kanjoos, here is a list of their social contributions:

well social contributions aside, i still consider them kanjoos now i guess i’m moving on to the fun/mean/rude part for a bit. i cannot help it. whereas i admit that i am part of the community and their contributions above, if they are the butt of jokes, then its not wrong because for most part of it, they deserve to be! u see a guy walking down the street with hair patted down with pints of oil and having a side parting and he’s got a paan ki laali on the corner of his mouth, you can rest assured that he is a memon! racist? no. stereotypical? maybe. fact? yes!

 the accent does not help them either. there is this certain twang most of them have not been able to hide when they speak a language other than memoni/kutchi/sindhi that easily separates the memons from the non. but what i realised is that they are oblivious to this fact and i am going to borrow something from russell peters here.

“i dont think that they know that they’re being made fun of. even when you say a memon joke to their face, they think that there is this one person somewhere on the face of this earth who is being made fun of. i seriously believe that is what they think the reality of it is!” poor bastards!

and well no post of mine is complete without a reference to food. some of the most amazing desi places in town have been setup by memons, such as meerat, noorani kabab house, memon food centre and baakra hotel. how can i forget the gola gandas in dhoraji going by the names of salim qadir ka uncle gole and qadir salim ka amla gola! but these are outside places and i know i do not appreciate and follow a lot of the traditional customs but i do enjoy a good plate of khowsay (a mix of a different sort of qeema with the traditional desi curry minus the pakoras and noodles topped with slims or any other sort of crispy garnish you like..sounds weird but dont knock it till you’ve tried it) and a few maal puras which i like to call pancake ka baap (small round sweet fried flour thingys, crispy on the edges, soft in the centre)! sorry but food excites me..

i guess this has been quite a lesson. hope i made some sense out of it. don’t think i got anywhere though. oh and as for the title of this post, it means “kya hua bhai?” or for some of the english, “wassup brother?”

let’s try and cover food first, because, as i mentioned before, i love to eat, and i always have. now let’s get one thing clear, i grew up in clifton. most of the exposure to major landmarks and institutions have been in this region. feel free to add your own institutions from your locale in the comments below.

there were a bunch of eateries in clifton which aren’t around anymore, and eating in clifton has historically  been synonymous with boating basin. this was when people actually used to take their boats within the basin from the karachi boat club. this was when we used to take long walks along it’s shores and get scared of the big crabs coming out of the rockery and not the hooligans down at the other end of the park, and when pink flamingos could be seen flying in the horizon. nowadays all you get is a road named after a woman who may or may not have been the lady the city is named after, and a sorry excuse of mangroves which have been hacked away by land reclamation killing a thriving shrimp industry and loss of migration of swarms of migratory bird populations.

boat basin is very different today than it used to be about 20 years ago. first of all, as kids the only cool place really was Mr. Burger. they used to have a very fun orange theme which isn’t around anymore, but they’ve expanded and changed it to a pinky purply look. they used to hand out stickers and colouring penciles and have cool posters and pictures of characters famously stolen from mcdonaldland. now mr. burger is still around and hopefully remains so for a long time to come but the KFC right next to it, used to be a restaurant called Red Carpet. that’s gone. used to have atypical pakistani bbq and nothing much else, but used to be a staple landmark of boat basin.

if you kept walking along the footpath towards the other end of boat basin, coming next was Sagar video game arcade. all the goonda’s of the area would reside there. if your parents found out the kind of people you hung out with at Sagar, they wouldn’t really let you go back there. but arcade games were 5 Rs. for ten tokens so entertainment was cheap.  But what came right after was another restaurant, this one with VERY dark tinted windows was Seagull. i know absolutely NOBODY who ever went in there, though it remained there for the longest time.

a few stores over you come across mezban. it’s the proud standing store that’s been around ever since  i can remember, and always been the go to place for the best kabab rolls and chaat this side of  (insert favourite bridge here).

and of course the hidden prize of boat basin ended it up with kings and queens, the only pizza in town at the time. (claims arise that jacana in PECHS on tipu sultan road was there prior and better but thats purely a debate up for another time).

another wonderful restaurant at the time was a bit further down the shoreline called Dolphin’s located on 26th street. i still remember the amazing beef stroganoff. too bad since it got replaced by a petrol station.

if you were interested in dessert, the only ice cream parlour in town worth going to was baloch ice cream, and the only reason i say this, is because theres nothing funnier than a mallu waiter trying to pronounce pistachio. if you were a bit more uppity in the social ladder, you may ended up having a few ventures over at Carvel’s parlour too but it wasn’t as fun there (people on the other side of the bridge would say kaybees but it doesn’t count since it’s still around).

there’s a whole bunch of other places that i used to hang out at, places that just aren’t around anymore. places that people still fondly remember and talk about, but those days are long gone. they are just memories. there are many other such landmarks that people talk about today and refer to by name which aren’t around…places like submarine roundabout where a submarine used to hang out at, lighthouse (though not really a lighthouse, but the fact that the cinema there was lighthouse cinema), and many other locales, but i suppose that will have to wait for another post.

feel free to mention other fun places below in the comments or anything in the clifton area that you remember that i missed out on. actually i think i only really spoke about boat basin. oh well. *shrug*

when one talks of competition, one talks of the olympics, of world cups, of arms races, of national space programs, of wars of succession. it is rare to talk of majid and basit and their rivalry in the epic race for who gets the black dastaar at the end of the semester for best performance in the third grade at their madrassa in chak 57, tehsil shahjehanpoora. and so, while there is a heated debate about whether the kababs in topi are better than those in peshawar the only real rivalry anyone actually cares about in pakistan is that between people talking about whether lahore is better than karachi or vice versa. cyma talked about it in her last post and hemlock has sort of touched on it earlier on her own blog, here and here.

i was born in karachi at a time when partition (both from undivided india and the later loss of half the country) was ancient history. the earth of karachi is now custodian to the remains of four generations of my family. and while my parents were both born in what is now india – immigrant children of immigrant parents – and while i retain in family history and tradition the lore of araby, the culture of persia and the magic of india; it is that very combination of bloodlines and history that makes me a karachiite. dirty, yes. polluted, yes. violent, yes. unsafe, yes. acute power crisis, yes. and yet, karachi is so much more than just that. karachi is where ladies sit on the rooftops sipping chai, comparing the voices of muezzins echoing from all over the city with their dupattas on their heads, minutes before they discuss the latest fashions. it is where you grow up with the smell of diesel smoke and barbecued kebabs and of raat ki rani and rotting garbage. it is where kids learn the difference between the sound of gunfire and the sound of firecrackers before they lose their innocence and where five year olds play safely unchaperoned on the streets. it is where annual conferences on islam and islamic life seem to take place every day – as do concerts and melas and plays. karachi is home to over 18 million people; rich and poor, old and young, literate and illiterate from a thousand different roots and places. the richness of karachi’s tradition is not encapsulated in old buildings and folk stories – it is in the people themselves. in their language, their behaviour, their belief, their dress, their cuisine. the people of karachi claim links to the majesty of the mughals, the bravery of tipu sultan, the religion of the sufi saints, the tales of sassi and marvi, the pride of the pukhtoons, the hospitality of sindh and, above all, the magic of urdu.

for all that – is it the cultural capital of pakistan? no. alexander the great camped here but does it have great historical significance? no. it has a patron saint supposedly protecting its shore from the cyclones that mysteriously turn away just before lashing the coast, but does it have its own culture of mysticism? no. the fragrance of flowers wafts from a million florists’ stalls every evening but does it have its own greenery? no. maybe it could be prettier. better planned perhaps. definitely cleaner.  

but its home. do i need more reason to love it above any other place on earth? no.

and yet, does that mean i don’t love lahore? does the love have to be mutually exclusive? i don’t know.

i fell in love with lahore around thirteen seconds after i first stepped on its land. if karachi’s soul is pluralist, lahore’s is as singular as you can imagine. lahore is the city that gives pakistan its share in the history of the subcontinent. supposedly founded over 4000 years ago by a son of the lord ram of hindu mythology, lahore has never witnessed the cycle of rebirth – simply because it has never died. akbar the great’s capital, lahore is the capital of punjab in more ways than just political. it is the city of ali hajveri, of dara shikoh, of anarkali, of iqbal, of faiz. it is of the lawrence gardens and the red fort. it is of the badshahi mosque and of the courtesans and dancing girls who live behind it. lahore is of greenery, of mysticism, of hospitality, of food, of history and of love. the cliche goes that you haven’t lived until you’ve seen lahore. it’s a fact. lahore lahore aye.

if this were a court case, i wouldn’t want to be the jury.

You know what they say about Lahore: Lahore Lahore hai. That statement basically tells you a few things. One that Lahoree’s simply happened to patent that line before any Pekhawarites or Karachi walas did. Two; that many statements like that don’t really mean anything if you come right down it. Three that statement can be used negatively any time of day. I could probably go on with a list of reasons that tell you why Lahore Lahore is. But you get where I’m going with this.

I have nothing against Lahoree people apart from the slight fact that they all consider Karachi-wala’s mean and selfish. This is quite a lot like a farmer from the potato fields of Iowa considers a Manhattan based New Yorker mean and selfish. What was that I hear? The grapes are sour you say? Precisely. Have I gone too far with the potato fields in Iowa analogy, perhaps. But you cannot love your home town enough and be a true Karachiite unless you happen to be unnecessarily, unfairly proud of it.

The other day while out getting a really late dinner, I become a little choosy while ordering my low calorie version of a chicken recipe. A Lahoree bloke on the table breaks into a hearty laugh.“God! You are such a true Karachi HITE…” yes people you heard that right – Karachi-Hite. Yet I was kind enough not to stop him and correct him. So basically just because I’m trying to eat healthy it seems I should apologize for it since there is no such concept in Lahore?

Another time, a guy came up and he goes: “I don’t mean it as an insult, and I’m not talking about you in particular, but Karachi girls are real bitches.” Can you believe that? When did that happen? When did Karachiites become so much of a threat to mankind? I’ll leave you to decide who the mean and selfish one here is (hint: Not Me). Either way, enough about Lahoree’s.

Oh dear dear dear Karachi. The sand, the sea – albeit a little uncared for but still – the sea none-the-less. I needed sea shells for my home décor a while back and being a Karachiite you do take sea shells for granted. Then you come to Lahore and realize with some amount of sadness that sea shells can be costly and hard to find where there are no seas in sight. Zamzama with all its sensational glory and the taste conscious food palates of the people in general – I could go on and on. The parties at French Beach where you could sit by the sand for hours and feel the fresh breeze just blow, soothing your nerves and the remnants of any stress and depression in your relationships in the real world. The raves which you attended by mistake only to end up trying to stop your friends from popping strange pills, which in fact, made you look like an ultimate party popper.

Those were the days huh? Yes. They were. I’ll be writing more = )

as illustrated by the exalted xill-e-ilahi in “hush cat”, there is no lack of creativity and inventiveness when it comes to giving names to food and retail outlets. however, this does not end at that and not surprisingly, extends to people as well!

One of the earliest stories i’ve heard, came from my dad. sometime in the late seventies/early eighties, my dad went to one of the cinemas in khi with a friend of his who happened to be wearing a yellow cap. it seems like caps were not a norm in those days and while waiting in queue, they heard a shout from the back saying:

” arey peela topi defence hai re”

and so peela topi was born! (this also reminds us that the from defence and not from defence rivalry is nothing new!)

so anyway, i’ve come across a lot of weird nicks and this is a recollection of some of those and this by no means is an exhaustive list..

1. Spitface/Spitty/Spits: well i can relate to this one cuz well its kinda mine. reason? this female friend of mine who i had just met at the time, wouldn’t shut up and was going on and on and on and i just stuck my tongue out and went “pbbbbbttt”! and guess what? some spit came out and hence the name!

2. Archie: yup we have our very own archie in k-town. red hair, freckles, clumsiness personified, basically the works! the guys at archie comics would be lucky to have him as the lead role if they were to make a movie on the comic.

3. charya-in-chief: a name given to a friend of mine by our a’level accounts teacher! not very flattering ofcourse but appropriate given the fact that he wrote a big “YES!!!” at the end of his accounts exam as his balance sheet tallied!

4. rafhan jelly: dont ask me why but yes, there is a guy called rafhan jelly! basically used in the same sense as “lucy”!

5. mozay mozay: literally, socks socks! the guy’s real name: muzammail. so i guess i can understand how its been derived but mozay? and tht too twice? now try calling out to him. “mozay yaar baat toh sun!”

6.yeti: obviously for the guys height and size.

7. biscuit: don’t really know how this came about, but i find it damn funny! biscuit? would u believe it started off being cream biscuit?

8. bumboo: school elections, intikhabi nishan: a bomb..hence the not so flattering handle, bumboo! “kaisa hai bumboo?”

9. matka khan: this nick name, given by me, belongs to our very own, xill-e-ilahi! i think he can better explain

10. golden: a name i heard two days ago and it sent me and xill in fits of laughter! we still haven’t figured out why he is called golden, but abbas tried calling him out saying “chal bhai golden” and trust me, it was something to be heard! and btw, this is the guy that threw a bowling ball back while trying to roll it forward!

11. goti seth: u’ve heard chotu, chotay and now u’ve got goti! one look at this guy and u’ll kno why. people actually play around with this guy.

12. kaju: khwaja turned kaju..there is a song dedicated to him too. “kaju mere kajuuu”!! lame i kno, but it works.

more to come and this is dedicated to peela topi for well, simply wearing a peela topi!

Cover of TIME magazine dated April 22, 1946