Daily Feline Wisdom

OMC, I hope Human Daddy tunes in to March Madness!

This basketball thing is absolutely riveting!

—Apollo

I had a ton of stuff on my to-do list this afternoon…

…but I guess I’m not doing anything because my beloved Stella has chosen me for her Chin/Cheek Rest.

—Sunny

For Cat’s Sake!

Can’t a pretty, grey Tabby get a moment of privacy when she’s cleansing her snowy white, thigh-high stockings?!

—Luna

Is your Human employee yet again engaging in too loud clickety-clackety typing?

Show your displeasure by assuming aggrieved Loaf position.

—Luna

When you have a magnificent tail, there’s no need to flaunt it.

Simply drape your tail casually over the side of your Cat Tree and let the compliments pour in.

—Lando, Guest Contributor

I’m a fierce, brave, capable Warrior Princess.

But that doesn’t mean I don’t appreciate protective cuddles with my Papa Cosmo.

—Xena

I love my loveseat, Humans, but could you consider ordering a bigger one?

As you can see, this one’s too small to accommodate my legs.

—Cosmo

Apollo’s great at many things, like bouncing and pouncing and computer hacking.

But his hiding skills remain sub-par. I can always sniff him out in five sniffs flat, sometimes less.

—Xena

Human Employees tend to slack off even more than usual on a Friday before a three-day weekend.

As a Cat Manager, you cannot let this pass.

Redouble your supervision and fix your employees with a redoubtable glare.

—Luna

The Squirrels are running absolutely amok!

Sometimes, I feel like the only one who’s paying attention to this critical situation.

—Xena